We often have mixed feelings about the culture we come from.

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Because we know it so well, we see all sides of it.

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What feels supportive and what doesn't.

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So we can sometimes walk away from it.

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Our experiences of our past may cause us to cut ourselves off from where we come from.

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To deny it, refute it, and leave it in the past.

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Perhaps we were abused by it, or caused great pain by how things are in our heritage.

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We can see things so clearly, including all the dark places that we experienced as children or young adults.

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Walking away from it feel like the only option to find relief from the pain.

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It can get so bad as to cause us to detest where we come from.

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While we may need time and space to heal from those experiences, once we do something curious happens.

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For when we have anger for the place we come from, it bleeds into feelings of self-hatred.

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If we loathe the people and the traditions of our lineage, we cut ourselves off from a large part of ourselves.

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And lose access to some of the best parts of our heritage.

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Yet as we walk along the path of self-love and self-acceptance, a curious thing can happen.

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What once tormented us and caused us so much pain, can become a place of strength and identity.

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The very culture that we once rejected and despised, we can come to accept and admit that we are a part of it as well.

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This does not mean that we do not see all the challenges with it.

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Far from it.

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By accepting all of who we are and where we come from, we can see things more clearly, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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And the beauty as well.

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For by accepting the culture and heritage we come from, we are accepting more of ourselves.

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We are healing the self-hatred with self-acceptance, and by healing ourselves we have the opportunity to help others from our community to heal themselves.

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What was once the source of our greatest pain can become our greatest gift.

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The very place we once ran away from, can become the foundation of something that can serve so many others.

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Our need to reject our heritage dissolves into a pool of compassion and kindness, and we can return to it with an open heart.

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With a new perspective and a new feeling that can bring light to the dark shadows and give an opportunity to initiate change for the better.

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For nothing is ever completely static.

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Every culture, every heritage, grows or changes with each generation.

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We can choose to be a part of the change.

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Or we can still choose to step away from it.

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But that choice will not come from a reaction to our pain.

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That choice will be one we make consciously, with kindness and compassion, so we do not need to put down where we came from.

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We can be proud of the good parts of our heritage, without taking on the qualities that did not serve or support us.

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And that path can be a true path of healing for everyone, not just ourselves.

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Is there a place in your own life that you have cut yourself off from your heritage?

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Can you find a way to have more compassion for yourself and others from that culture?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour