As we heal, we uncover more parts of ourselves.

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The parts that feel unloved, neglected, or abandoned.

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Sometimes they are filled with pain or loss or regret.

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They can be scared, tender, or ashamed.

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We can feel like we want to just get rid of them, be done with them, and move on.

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For we no longer wish to carry the burden of their anguish.

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Striving for that moment when we can be free of all the memories of the traumas we have endured.

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So we dive in deep to any healing modality that can make us feel better and provide from relief.

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Even if the relief is only temporary, our desperation drives us to keep trying.

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To keep moving towards this ideal of feeling good all the time.

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Of feeling whole.

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Which keeps us in a trap.

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The trap of needing to get rid of these parts of ourselves that we think are the problem.

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Needing to remove them from our psyche so that we will never feel that way again.

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We get stuck on this never-ending cycle of trying to release these parts of ourselves only to discover that they are deeper and more ingrained than we ever imagined.

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For what they really need is something else.

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Something much simpler.

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When we can recognize that we will never be finished if we continue down this path then we can come to higher realization.

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A higher truth that will serve us much more than any road to perfection.

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That truth is that what those sides of us need more than anything else is love.

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Is compassion.

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And acceptance.

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What they need, and what we need, is stop trying to get rid of them and accept that they are a part of us.

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All they really crave is to be heard, to be held, and to be seen.

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If we stop trying to get rid of these aspects of ourselves and learn to just start holding them tenderly, giving them space and time, we will find something wonderful.

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We find that we feel much more whole accepting them than trying to get rid of them.

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The pain and anguish we feel may always be with us, yet it not longer defines us or controls us.

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By loving and accepting those scared little parts of ourselves we show them that they are safe within us.

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Which makes us feel more safe to be with them.

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Giving them the space and time to feel what they need to feel in order for us to feel what we need to feel.

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In that field of loving our own pain and sadness there is a light.

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A light that shines through so bright it makes everything better for us.

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And when we allow this light to flow through all the myriad of parts of ourselves that have been yearning for acceptance and love all these years, we will finally know peace.

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So we can stop the endless cycle of trying to free ourselves of pain and start down a path of acceptance and love that will lift us up for the rest of our lives.

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Can you give more space to those hurt sides of yourself?

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And show love to all the scared, tender parts?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour