We often struggle with our healing.

‍

Feeling the need to fix everything to feel whole.

‍

Just wanting to not feel so miserable.

‍

Although the struggle is real, the approach is misguided.

‍

We end up fighting with ourselves and causing more pain.

‍

Separating ourselves from those parts of us that are trying to feel safe.

‍

The trauma responses are there for a reason.

‍

And we look to discard them as soon as possible.

‍

Our energy and attention is focused on stopping ourselves from feeling the way we feel.

‍

As if we are somehow wrong for feeling guilty, ashamed, inadequate, or depressed.

‍

All we want to do is feel better and we are trying to achieve that by cutting off those sides of ourselves.

‍

That approach rarely yields the desired outcomes.

‍

In fact, it actually keep us in the cycle of torment.

‍

For there is something very important missing from this approach.

‍

Without compassion and love for ourselves, it becomes very challenging to truly heal.

‍

When we keep trying to cut ourselves off from the sides that are in pain, we alienate those sides.

‍

So they fight back.

‍

Sometimes they fight back by becoming more intense and stronger.

‍

Which makes our symptoms even worse.

‍

Or we can try a different path.

‍

We can start to learn to love those parts of ourselves.

‍

To love our pain, our trauma, and our sadness.

‍

And see all those sides of ourselves as just parts of us that need more love.

‍

Not love from someone else.

‍

Love from ourselves.

‍

For we are the only ones who can truly show love to the bruised, sore, and aching parts of ourselves.

‍

Only we can make ourselves whole again by accepting and love all of ourselves.

‍

It is a softer path.

‍

A way to heal that requires the softest and hardest thing for us to do.

‍

To stop judging ourselves and making ourselves wrong, and just loving whatever it is we are feeling.

‍

Whatever it is that we are experiencing.

‍

And all those sides that are terrified to come out and show themselves.

‍

We love even them.

‍

The truest path to healing is the path of Self Love.

‍

Not an egotistical, self-centered, form of Self Love.

‍

But one that recognizes that we deserve to be loved and shows ourselves that we are loved.

‍

That love is one that no one else can take away.

‍

No one else can change.

‍

Only we have the power to love ourselves, or not.

‍

It is our greatest power.

‍

And from that place we can learn to love everything else.

‍

So where in your own life can you practice more self love?

‍

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour