Relationships are tricky things.We react to other people without meaning to.We can feel rejected, abandoned, or shamed by their words.Mostly, that's because we not focused on the right relationship.For our most important relationship is not about someone else.It is about our relationship with ourselves.It is about how we treat ourselves.It is about what we say to ourselves.We are usually far harsher to ourselves than we are to anyone else.When someone triggers us, it is not about them.It is about us.The trigger only reveals how we feel underneath.Perhaps they touched a sore spot.Something we haven't come to terms with yet.And it is about how we feel about ourselves.We are the ones who abandoned us.We are the ones who feel we're not good.We are the ones who berate and harm ourselves.How is your relationship with you?Are you kind to yourself?Are you generous to yourself?If you are not treating yourself well, how can others?If you are not feeling worthy, how can others respect you?It is all an inside job.It is all about what is going on deep within us.How our little boy or little girl feels.Have you talked to them lately?Have you pampered them?Have you felt into your heart to see what pains are there?The miracle is, once we start treating ourselves better, so does everyone else.When we are kind to ourselves, so are others.When we are gentle with ourselves, so are others.And those that are not do not stay around very long.Are you good with you?Are you happy with you?If not, not on the outside will make you feel better.So let's work on that one, most important relationship before we work on others.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant