Feeling safe with a group of people is not guaranteed.

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There are many factors that go into feeling safe.

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Some, have to do with the group.

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Others, have to do with ourselves.

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Yet ultimately we have to feel safe with ourselves before we can feel safe with anyone else.

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It is not something we can work out with the mind.

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Logical reasons fall short when the feeling of unsafety comes up.

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For only the heart knows when it truly feels safe.

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Emotional safety is a feeling.

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It is not a thought or a mental construct.

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It is the sense we get when the people we are with are a match to our own emotional state.

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If we are living in our trauma and our past, then no one may feel safe to us.

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The anxiety of the memories keep bubbling up.

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We may not even be aware of the trauma.

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Yet we know when something doesn't feel right.

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No one else may be affected.

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The other people may never know how we feel.

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For it is feeling inside of us that either settles us down or winds us up.

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When we notice that we are feeling unsafe for no reason at all, that is the time to look inside.

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To ask ourselves why we feel unsafe.

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And seek when we have felt that way before.

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What story are we telling ourselves?

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Does this feeling seem familiar?

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Is there any evidence to show us we should or should not feel safe?

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We often do not realize that the stories we are still living inside of us are determining how safe we feel.

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Perhaps it is a story of a painful event.

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Of of an uncomfortable experience.

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Yet although it is in the past, we still carry it around inside of us.

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We keep it present until we work it through.

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And once we work through the pain and suffering, we are more at ease.

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Not only with other.

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Even more importantly with ourselves.

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For when we truly feel safe within ourselves, we can easily find ways to feel safe in any situation.

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We know what to do, we know how to be.

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It is not about the other person or people.

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It is always about ourselves.

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So where do you not feel safe?

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What is the story you are telling yourself that continues to make you feel unsafe?

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And how about we change that...

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant