Holding space for someone is a skill we learn.

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It is something that takes more than we realize.

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To truly be there for someone else is not easy.

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Yet there are some things to realize that can help.

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Holding space or someone is an active venture.

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It is not about just passively listening.

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And it requires a lot of us.

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First, it requires us to be doing our own work.

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That deep inner work that often makes us uncomfortable.

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For it is only by doing our work that we can learn to hold space for ourselves.

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To feel safe enough with ourselves that we can truly be honest with ourselves.

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For once we are safe for ourselves, then we can be safe for others.

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And holding space for others requires a lot of safety.

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For the person can if there is judgment behind your eyes.

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They know if you are truly seeing them for who they are, and if you are not.

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Mostly importantly, holding space for someone requires that we be open.

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To be open to what they need, not what we think we need.

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When we hold space for someone they may need nothing more than our presence.

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Or they may need our active participation in their process.

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To hold their hand.

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Or to look in their eyes with compassion.

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Sometimes all we need to do is listen.

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Not to fix anything or give advice, but simply to listen to their stories.

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Because sometimes the person may feel to unheard and unseen that all they need is to know there is someone there who will listen and see them.

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So holding space also require us to have no agenda.

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To not be out for something or to provide a particular experience.

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Perhaps it could more accurately be call providing space instead of holding space.

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For that is the essence of what we do, provide the space for the person to have the experience they need in the moment.

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It may sound simple yet that does not mean it is easy.

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So have you learned to hold space for yourself yet?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant