EPISODE SUMMARY:
Meet Hannah Foxx, someone who understands emotional isolation not as a flaw, but as a condition many are quietly living through—especially men. She doesn’t speak in abstractions, and she won’t list off sterile advice about communication. She talks from experience—hers and others’—and she understands what it means when a man forgets how to trust his body, his heart, or his own worth in private moments.
Listeners will come away with something rare: the feeling that someone sees the quiet fears they're carrying, and knows how to talk to them without making the problem worse. It’s not too late to reclaim touch, safety, or softness. Even if it’s been a long time. Especially if it’s been a long time.
If you’ve ever wanted to feel connection without judgment, and you’re tired of surface-level talk that doesn’t land—this episode will stay with you long after it’s over.
In this episode Hannah Foxx, an intimacy educator and legal brothel worker speaks candidly about what happens when emotional hunger goes unanswered for too long—when touch, closeness, and connection begin to feel unsafe or unreachable. Drawing from years of work as an intimacy coach and legal sex worker, she offers a grounded look into why so many men find themselves emotionally cut off, even when they’re surrounded by people. This isn’t a conversation about dating apps or pickup strategies. It’s about the quiet collapse of trust in oneself, and what it takes to feel safe in your own skin again.
Hannah doesn’t offer easy fixes—she offers clarity. You’ll hear how shame and impostor syndrome sabotage even the most well-intentioned efforts to connect, and why being seen without being dissected is often the first step toward healing. If you’ve ever struggled to explain what you’re feeling—or not feeling—when it comes to intimacy, this episode puts words to the experience without turning it clinical. It’s not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you were before you started flinching at closeness.
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In this episode of The Happy Spot, host Anshar Seraphim welcomes intimacy coach and educator Hannah Fox to explore the often-overlooked connection between intimacy, mental wellness, and happiness. Hannah shares her inspiring journey from conservative homeschooling to becoming a trailblazer in intimacy education, using her unique medical and coaching background to help people heal, reconnect, and feel truly seen. Together, they shed light on the loneliness epidemic, the vital human need for touch and connection, and why embracing intimacy as a core part of wellness can transform emotional health and fulfillment.
In this deeply meaningful conversation, Anshar Seraphim and intimacy educator Hannah Fox explore the powerful idea of "nonlinear intimacy" — the recognition that human connection, desire, and emotional safety often don't follow a simple, predictable path. Hannah explains how many people, especially those who are neurodivergent, trauma survivors, or differently wired, experience intimacy in unique ways that are just as valid and essential for personal happiness and fulfillment. By validating these experiences and offering compassionate, hands-on support, Hannah highlights how reclaiming true connection with oneself and others can transform emotional well-being and combat the loneliness epidemic.
In this heartfelt segment, Anshar Seraphim and intimacy educator Hannah Fox explore the real struggles people face when trying to date or reconnect after loss, divorce, or long periods of loneliness. Hannah emphasizes that intimacy is a fundamental human need, and reminds listeners that it’s natural — and necessary — to practice, fail, grieve, and still seek connection without shame. By debunking widespread myths about sex and affirming that pleasure, emotional safety, and self-compassion are essential, they offer hope and healing for anyone looking to rediscover love and happiness.
In this emotional conclusion, Hannah Fox shares how purity culture and conservative upbringings can leave lasting emotional wounds around intimacy, even long after marriage. She encourages parents and organizations to foster open, compassionate conversations about consent, readiness, and self-worth rather than shame, helping future generations build healthier relationships. Together with host Anshar Seraphim, they emphasize that healing, human connection, and supportive environments are key ingredients to living a fuller, happier life.
00:00:44.360 --> 00:01:07.389 Anshar Seraphim: Hi, and welcome to the happy spot where we dive into the science, soul, and strategy of mental wellness, connection, and what makes us human. I'm your host, onsar seraphim on today's episode. We're exploring one of the most quietly urgent topics of mental health today. Intimacy. What it really means. Why we struggle with it, and how it intersects with everything, from trauma and touch to sexuality and self-worth.
00:01:07.810 --> 00:01:22.879 Hannah: Joining me is someone with a truly rare and nuanced perspective. Hannah Fox, also known online as Catherine Whitmore. She and I originally met back in 2018, when I was doing some psychological training back with the Bunny Rand. So it's so good to see you again.
00:01:22.880 --> 00:01:39.450 Anshar Seraphim: She's a licensed intimacy coach, legal Nevada courtesan and award nominated sex educator, and she specializes in helping people reconnect with their sense of self and rediscover connection, whether that's building confidence, navigating sensory challenges, or learning how their mind and body actually work together.
00:01:41.150 --> 00:01:53.820 Hannah: Hi Anshar, thanks so much for having me. I'm very excited to be here. I think this topic of conversation is really important. It gets looked over a lot, and people don't realize how important it actually is.
00:01:54.770 --> 00:02:19.860 Anshar Seraphim: So I didn't know about this background. I was reading up on you because recently you had this Reddit. Ask me anything, Fred, that went viral after you were interviewed by a few different journalism outlets, and I think you're up to almost 5 million views now, I saw that you, trained as a midwife, a Doula, and even an Emt before stepping into intimacy. Education. So that's kind of an interesting journey. Why don't you tell us a little bit more about that. And what led you to make that next step.
00:02:20.480 --> 00:02:33.790 Hannah: Well, I was actually the homeschooled, conservative, fundamentally independent kid that didn't have any sex education at all. I was taught purity culture. And
00:02:34.300 --> 00:02:39.990 Hannah: it's really amazing, because I was raised to believe that if you see
00:02:41.090 --> 00:02:57.030 Hannah: sex as something other than what you do within a marriage, then you're going to hell. And I was a really curious kid. I was really nerdy. I went and found anatomy and physiology textbooks in high school, and whenever I could get my hands on them, and I read them.
00:02:57.030 --> 00:03:15.280 Hannah: and that led me into having a natural curiosity, and I went from that into studying midwifery and going into nursing school and studying, nursing and being a doula, childbirth, education, childbirth, educator, and lactation consultant.
00:03:15.430 --> 00:03:16.450 Hannah: and
00:03:16.480 --> 00:03:26.680 Hannah: with working in those industries I saw so many women after they had their child have issues with physical intimacy, and as a midwife.
00:03:26.680 --> 00:03:50.740 Hannah: you know, we weren't necessarily trained on how to fix the sexual dysfunctions that we were seeing. We were more focused on the well-being and the care, and I started specializing and focusing on intimacy after childbirth, and then sexual dysfunction and other issues when it related to intimacy and women and just sexual anatomy.
00:03:51.450 --> 00:04:01.519 Anshar Seraphim: Well, obviously the decision to go work at a brothel, you know. Say, I think you're at one of the the legal brothel properties over in Nevada right now. Correct.
00:04:01.790 --> 00:04:03.900 Hannah: Yes, so I
00:04:04.620 --> 00:04:23.670 Hannah: I work at the world. Famous Moonlight Bunny Ranch from the Hbo Show Cat House. And I actually found this industry because there was no place for me to actually really help my patients. I was not allowed to see their anatomy physically aroused. I was not allowed to
00:04:23.670 --> 00:04:36.299 Hannah: work with or see, like the naked anatomy while they were both being with each other. And it was like trying to be tech support over the phone or trying to fix them a car, a car as mechanic.
00:04:36.300 --> 00:04:40.000 Hannah: when I was on the phone saying, Well, what does that sound like?
00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:58.809 Hannah: You know? I need to be able to test, drive the vehicle, I need to be able to bring it in. Look under the hood. I need to be able to do all of the above to actually figure out what the problem is in the car or somebody's body, and the only place I could legally do that was the world. Famous Moonlight Bunny Ranch and working in the Nevada legal brothel system.
00:04:59.100 --> 00:05:02.220 Anshar Seraphim: So you use the the brothel license
00:05:02.330 --> 00:05:09.540 Anshar Seraphim: and the auspices of the brothel industry to actually move into the space where you could actually see the dysfunction. Then.
00:05:09.930 --> 00:05:27.519 Hannah: Absolutely. So. Instead of, you know, a sex coach a I started doing being a sex coach and a sex educator for adults. And I studied psychology in high school because I was the nerdy homeschool kid that was forced to go take college classes really young. So I was working on my bachelor's degree in psychology.
00:05:27.520 --> 00:05:28.590 Anshar Seraphim: We've got that in common.
00:05:28.950 --> 00:05:48.580 Hannah: Yeah. So I found that this was the place where I could not help my patients the way they needed to be helped. There was a huge gap. There was a systematic blind spot in the care of actually helping with sexual health care, and while, as I'm not giving.
00:05:48.580 --> 00:05:49.820 JACK THOMAS : Yeah, thank, you.
00:05:49.820 --> 00:05:50.460 Hannah: Of
00:05:51.100 --> 00:05:52.600 JACK THOMAS : I'm back. I don't know.
00:05:53.090 --> 00:05:53.640 Hannah: Yeah.
00:05:54.710 --> 00:05:56.190 Hannah: Well.
00:05:56.460 --> 00:06:23.089 Hannah: let's see, where were we? Well, I'm not giving any medical advice or any medical diagnoses. What I can do is, I can say. Have you ever heard of a clitoral adhesion? There's a doctor. What I really recommend is Dr. James Simon in DC. And not too far from New York really close drive. You can go see him and ask him about clitoral adhesions. So I'm not diagnosing. I'm not, you know, telling you this is your problem. I'm saying, Hey.
00:06:23.090 --> 00:06:28.400 Hannah: I see this. I think you should go talk to this medical professional because they can help you.
00:06:28.820 --> 00:06:37.799 Anshar Seraphim: Right? It's it's about connecting the problem to the right person to solve the problem because you're getting a unique perspective on it that they can't describe even
00:06:38.582 --> 00:06:58.569 Anshar Seraphim: now I know this from from having trained over on the property before way back, when but a lot of people don't know that on with the brothel license that every single lady there's an independent contractor and offers their own businesses and services. So do you find that when people visit the brothel, that that you're totally not what they're expecting.
00:06:59.080 --> 00:07:00.490 Hannah: They're not what I'm
00:07:00.840 --> 00:07:21.229 Hannah: they don't know what to think about me most of the time we'll have people who just come in to get T-shirts, or who want to get who are tourists. And they're I give them a tour. Because that's 1 of our jobs here that we do is, we give people tours of the ranch and the property, and when I'm not busy I do give the tours. So
00:07:21.530 --> 00:07:37.149 Hannah: when they find out about my medical training, and they find out about the ability to have a real time observation of what is possibly going on between them and their partner. They're like Whoa! Does anyone else do this?
00:07:37.240 --> 00:08:04.750 Hannah: And then I have to explain that I am the only one that I know of in the entire Nevada brothel system who has the medical background, the medical training, the sex education, training, the sex coaching, training, and all of the different various certifications and training that I've done which there will never be enough to actually be able to be there in person to figure out and analyze what is going on with them, so that they can get the help they need somewhere.
00:08:05.190 --> 00:08:22.360 Anshar Seraphim: Yeah. And so, even though you're not putting yourself out there as a medical professional in that capacity, then you're able to do so much good by what you see. A matter of fact, I remember having a conversation with you about it once, and you told me that you you discovered a mass on someone and sent them to a doctor, and you actually saved their life. Is that true?
00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:31.820 Hannah: Yes, so there was someone who is having a lot of trauma surrounding, actually getting a prostate massage. Prostate exam.
00:08:31.950 --> 00:08:56.720 Hannah: And they were really terrified of the experience. They were terrified to have it in a sterile environment. So they just wanted to see what that felt like. And I did not give a prostate exam or anything. No medical care. I just was in the process of showing them. What, how, what is it like? How do you go through this process, what happens? What to expect? So that they walked in feeling comfortable. And I was like, we're going to pause this. And you're going to go to the hospital, and it turns out they.
00:08:56.720 --> 00:08:57.359 Anshar Seraphim: Oh, wow!
00:08:57.360 --> 00:09:08.759 Hannah: Cancer, and we caught it just in time to be able to for them to be able to get treatment and have a full recovery and be healthy and safe today. And I'm really happy about that.
00:09:08.760 --> 00:09:28.360 Anshar Seraphim: It's got to be so crazy going to from saving lives as an Emt to literally saving lives doing that. It must have been really unexpected, so kind of transitioning here, you know, because you know, our focus here at the happy spot is mental wellness. You've spoken on multiple occasions about the epidemic of loneliness, and how it shows up in your work. Can you share a little bit about
00:09:28.380 --> 00:09:39.590 Anshar Seraphim: the the behind the scenes? Look at what's going on in culture right now. And and what's happening in people's relationships, and why it's so important that people learn how to seek help and and learn more about sex.
00:09:40.350 --> 00:09:51.790 Hannah: Absolutely. The loneliness epidemic in the United States is a public health crisis. People just want to be seen held. They want to be heard they.
00:09:51.950 --> 00:10:17.059 Hannah: There's no system for them to be able to do this. If you break your leg you can go to the er if you're hungry you can go to the grocery store. If you're thirsty, you can go to your sink and get water, and if you look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, not the meme or the printed out version of it. But if you actually go back to his original theorem of motivation, it actually has the pyramid where sex
00:10:17.180 --> 00:10:26.759 Hannah: food, water, excretion is on the core, bottom tier. That is the foundation for everything else. And because
00:10:26.760 --> 00:10:36.659 Hannah: it's there, not only is that there, but intimacy, touch, affection, feeling, loved, feeling cared about is a human health need.
00:10:36.660 --> 00:11:01.179 Hannah: And there's not very many places in the United States where someone can go and get that if they're busy. For example, if they're a business person who doesn't have a lot of time to invest in relationships, but they still have that need, and they need it in a safe way where they can get it when they need it. That's 1 of the things that the Nevada brothels are amazing, for if someone is trying to rediscover intimacy after a divorce or the loss of a loved one.
00:11:01.300 --> 00:11:13.500 Hannah: you know this is a place where they can actually feel seen and get those needs met in a way that not a lot of places have the options to do that.
00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:35.759 Anshar Seraphim: Yeah, I remember when I was studying psychology to start, I remember kind of kind of a dark fact away. But you know, because it was brought up in the context of ethics for experiments, but it talked about babies needing touch, and that you can give a baby literally everything that it needs. But if you don't touch it, it'll die. And somehow
00:11:35.800 --> 00:11:48.069 Anshar Seraphim: we start to look at children as having different needs than adults, too. But the is really the same needs just kind of encapsulated in different ways. So I really appreciate that perspective. I think that
00:11:48.496 --> 00:11:54.000 Anshar Seraphim: a lot of people probably talk themselves out of the idea that it's a need.
00:11:54.070 --> 00:12:02.979 Anshar Seraphim: And it sounds like, you know, one of the cool things about seeing that asking anything on Reddit, and that we're going to get into that a little bit more after the break.
00:12:03.060 --> 00:12:06.470 Anshar Seraphim: Is that so many people resonated
00:12:06.560 --> 00:12:11.250 Anshar Seraphim: with what you had to say about intimacy being a need and what it felt
00:12:11.290 --> 00:12:18.910 Anshar Seraphim: like to be misaligned. I'd never seen a Reddit ask me anything where people literally responded, saying that they were in tears.
00:12:18.930 --> 00:12:39.439 Anshar Seraphim: and and people commenting on it. But I have to compliment you before we do go to break. You receive multiple compliments on how well you answer questions. So I think you deserve a call out for that, because it obviously must have taken a lot of time to go through. What was it like 600 comments and and be able to try to provide a narrative on that.
00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:53.959 Anshar Seraphim: We're going to go off to break here in about 30 seconds. So when we do come back, we're going to start talking a little bit more about that Reddit. Ask me anything, and a topic that really resonated with a lot of people, something called nonlinear sexuality. So make sure that you stay tuned for that.
00:12:54.370 --> 00:12:56.009 Hannah: Yes, absolutely, thank you.
00:14:38.670 --> 00:15:00.544 Anshar Seraphim: And welcome back to the happy spot. I'm your host on Char Seraphim, and today we're talking to Hannah Fox, intimacy, educator and expert and legal Nevada courtesan out of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch and talking about the need of human intimacy. So just before the break, we're talking a little bit about this amazing. Ask me anything thread. I think we're up to like 4.7 million views on it now. And
00:15:00.980 --> 00:15:17.870 Anshar Seraphim: 8. We're already there. So one of the thing. And this was huge because your your comment here, just this single comment, just by itself, got 5,000 likes and a ton of responses. So I'm just going to read the question and your answer just so we can get through it. Then we're going to unpack it a little bit.
00:15:18.110 --> 00:15:35.140 Anshar Seraphim: You, said, the person said. Can you elaborate on what you mean about nonlinear people and intimacy? I'd never really heard the term nonlinear before. And you responded when I say nonlinear, I'm talking about people whose brains, arousal or emotional processing don't follow a straight line from point A to Point B.
00:15:35.260 --> 00:15:57.810 Anshar Seraphim: Think of it like this. Most people assume intimacy works like a checklist. You're attracted, you touch, you get turned on. You have sex. You're satisfied. Boom done. But for a huge number of people, especially people who are neurodivergent trauma survivors and women. It doesn't go like that. And that's not a malfunction that's just real life. There's not always a track for everyone. The human experience doesn't really have any rails.
00:15:57.810 --> 00:16:17.950 Anshar Seraphim: A nonlinear person might need emotional safety before physical attraction kicks in, or their arousal might spike and vanish and spike again without warning. They might be trying to figure out. If they're asexual, their body might feel good only while their brain is dissociating, or they might not register desire until they're already touched, which is sometimes called responsive desire instead of spontaneous desire. So you went on to explain on that.
00:16:17.950 --> 00:16:28.760 Anshar Seraphim: And the the outpouring of comments was just absolutely incredible. Because obviously, this is, you know, this is not a topic that a lot of people explore. Can you tell the audience a little bit more about what
00:16:28.870 --> 00:16:35.320 Anshar Seraphim: nonlinear intimacy is about, and why it's so important to talk about.
00:16:35.510 --> 00:16:45.589 Hannah: I think part of the comment that we didn't get to read really resonated with a lot of people. And it's that there's no wrong way to be built. But there's a lot of bad maps.
00:16:45.590 --> 00:16:45.910 Anshar Seraphim: Good.
00:16:45.910 --> 00:16:59.299 Hannah: And a lot of people don't realize that the stages of arousal and the types of arousal and the way that the body works isn't the same for everybody. It doesn't follow a predictable script.
00:16:59.300 --> 00:17:23.379 Hannah: Emotional safety is often needed 1st for people who are trauma survivors, you know. There's a lot of women. There's a lot of neurodivergent people. There's a lot of people that are demisexual or sapiosexual, so their arousal doesn't come from the touch. It comes from the other parts, the getting to know somebody really well, or the intellectual
00:17:23.940 --> 00:17:45.380 Hannah: sexiness. That's what sapiosexual is. You're attracted to intelligence, but the touch may not trigger the arousal until later, or you might not feel aroused until you've been touched, or until a little while afterwards. Everyone's wiring is different, and that's normal. But there are people who can help you work through it and understand yourself better.
00:17:46.090 --> 00:18:04.880 Anshar Seraphim: Yeah. And I noticed that. And this is one of the things that was discussed in the comments is that doctors really don't talk about these topics with their patients. Even urologists and gynecologists don't really spend a lot of time talking about arousal unless it's just spoken medically about erectile dysfunction. Or
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:21.630 Anshar Seraphim: and I really related to this myself, just because when I was studying, I've been studying psychology for 2 decades. It's only been the last 5 years that real quality education has come out on being neurodivergent and being autistic, and it being more than just like a media trope.
00:18:21.690 --> 00:18:26.537 Anshar Seraphim: So what do you want? The people out there who have that nonlinear
00:18:27.070 --> 00:18:33.579 Anshar Seraphim: intimacy framework to to know about the fact that they have it, and and what kind of steps should they take.
00:18:34.140 --> 00:18:59.170 Hannah: I mean, society has a very rigid image of what sex should look like. It's reinforced by media porn, even some types of sex education. But there's not really a script for people who are sensory, sensitive, or they might have issues with, you know. Light bulbs make a sound. You can hear light bulbs. And if you're hearing that while you are
00:18:59.170 --> 00:19:04.108 Hannah: having sex, it causes your brain to short circuit for a minute.
00:19:04.950 --> 00:19:26.909 Hannah: People have never heard that it's okay to be different before there's a huge emotional release that you get from just being seen. Medical systems and median systems really ignore these things. I've heard a lot of people say that they've gone to their doctor. They're neurodivergent, and they're saying sex is confusing. And their doctor is like, well.
00:19:27.461 --> 00:19:56.430 Hannah: I don't know what to do to tell you that like, figure it out, and then they feel even more isolated, and they feel even more shut off from trying to get the help they need, because they know there's something wrong. I am not like my friends. I am not like the people I see on, you know Tiktok or Instagram. I'm not like these other people, I see, but I don't know what it is, and I don't know how to explain it, and sometimes I'm lucky enough to get to be the translator that translate it translates it for them
00:19:56.430 --> 00:20:22.910 Hannah: so that they can actually understand who they are, so that they can better explain it to their future sexual partners, to their future romantic relationships, and just to other people that are around them. Doctors often don't recognize these patterns, and they're not often trained on a lot of female sexual dysfunction that happens with nonlinear people or neurodivergent people or people with trauma.
00:20:23.300 --> 00:20:40.559 Anshar Seraphim: So I did see in the comments, and it was cool to have it mentioned, because you and I have one thing in common, and that's for both members of the octopus movement. And that's for nonlinear thinking. So I think that's a really cool topic. Maybe that's something that you should collaborate with Dr. Perry on. I think that could be a good topic.
00:20:40.610 --> 00:20:53.579 Anshar Seraphim: so we don't spend the whole interview talking about that, despite the fact, it was so interesting. Switching gears now, because I know that recently you got interviewed by the Daily Mail about working with people with disabilities, and it was part of your maxim feature, too.
00:20:54.090 --> 00:21:18.900 Anshar Seraphim: So switching gears to that, people who are struggling with the challenge of intimacy, whether that's emotional, physical, or something in between. How do you think? Being supported in a hands on judgment, free way at a brothel changes the way people process that experience. What's what's in it for them, even if it's the same information, maybe, that they got from a therapist. How does the presentation change? And what have you seen in your work that makes what you do so different and amazing.
00:21:19.550 --> 00:21:44.280 Hannah: So there are a couple different ways to learn, and I think a lot of people have seen the meme, maybe not everybody. But if you tell a fish to climb a tree it'll spend its whole life thinking that it's stupid. Well, if you go and you speak to like sex coaches, sex therapists, and a lot of doctors and different people. They see things in a very linear way, and that's how they're taught to treat
00:21:44.551 --> 00:21:51.619 Hannah: and a lot of people don't learn verbally. They don't learn, you know, visually, from watching videos, they have to learn by doing. They have to.
00:21:51.620 --> 00:21:52.130 Anshar Seraphim: Aesthetic? Yeah.
00:21:52.320 --> 00:21:58.550 Hannah: Present. They have to learn by yeah kinesthetic learners. They have to know
00:21:59.980 --> 00:22:03.470 Hannah: how to do it, and they have to be able to ask questions in the moment.
00:22:04.030 --> 00:22:11.920 Hannah: and they have to have a break in their brain sometimes between learning some and then waiting to learn others. But
00:22:12.320 --> 00:22:25.249 Hannah: a lot of people learn best by doing, and this is the only place in the entire United States, and I'm the only person trained. The way that I am to be able to teach hands-on sex education from
00:22:25.720 --> 00:22:45.869 Hannah: my background. When you go to a doctor's office, you tell them, hey, Doc, here's the problem. What do I do? And they can't say, here, let me get your sexual anatomy aroused so that I can see if you have phimosis, because when you're not aroused because you're terrified. You can't get an erection while you're trying to run from a bear. So you go into the doctor's office.
00:22:46.350 --> 00:23:13.599 Hannah: and you see the doctor, and you don't have an erection, or you know your clitoral gland is not fully stimulated or erect, and so it's small, so it can come through the skin. Phimosis is where the foreskin, or the clitoral hood for women, the glands, the penis can't come through, so it's like stuck trying to get out, and it can't get, and
00:23:13.830 --> 00:23:15.140 Hannah: you know, if
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:31.150 Hannah: if they're not aroused, then it might come back and forth. Just fine. You might be able to see it, and the doctor's like, oh, there's nothing there. Well, what happens when you go home? And you're with your girlfriend, or when you're with your wife, or you're with your husband or your partner, or whoever, and
00:23:31.150 --> 00:23:53.170 Hannah: you know you get aroused. And then that skin is so tight that the erection cannot come through the skin, and then you can't be diagnosed because no one can see it. You can take pictures of it while you're at home, but you can't really figure it out. So there's a lot of anatomy and physiology that cannot be treated or looked at or figured out
00:23:53.220 --> 00:24:03.689 Hannah: when it's not aroused, and having a place that's calm and not like a doctor's office with lots of lights, is a more holistic way to be able to help people.
00:24:04.310 --> 00:24:22.209 Anshar Seraphim: Yeah, I remember I dated someone way back who had a seizure disorder, and they kept on giving her sleep studies, but because they took her from her normal place where she was sleeping, and put her into this place and put all these electrodes on her. It's not the normal way that you sleep. So how are you supposed to get quality data out of it? That makes a lot of sense to me.
00:24:22.210 --> 00:24:40.260 Anshar Seraphim: So, and this was discussed in the reddit thread, too. And you know a lot of your work overlaps with therapy, even though in this role you're not a therapist. So, aside from that experiential component? What are some key differences in what you offer versus like a traditional therapist or going to a doctor? What is the experience like? And why is it important.
00:24:40.870 --> 00:24:49.279 Hannah: So therapists are trained in the mind. They can study emotions, you know, thoughts, behavior, patterns, and they're there to help with.
00:24:49.280 --> 00:25:11.359 Hannah: You know those things. I'm trained in anatomy, physiology both aroused anatomy and physiology and non aroused anatomy and physiology. That is what I spent most of my time in college studying because I just kept needing to take more classes because it was so interesting to me, focusing on the physical like a lot of
00:25:11.530 --> 00:25:34.270 Hannah: sex therapy or just sex help in the United States is psychological. For example, I met a girl who had a clitoral adhesion, and she was having issues orgasming. And it was really painful to be able to use her clit, and she never wanted it touched. So she went to all these different doctors, and nobody could figure out what was going on, and they just kept sending her to therapy. It's all in your head.
00:25:34.270 --> 00:25:43.849 Hannah: it's in your head you're not. You're not relaxing enough. You it's your Adhd. It's it's this, it's this, it's this. No, it was actually a physical
00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:55.410 Hannah: problem where the clitoris could not come out of the clitoral head. So it was causing pain when it finally did get aroused. So I actually get to see the
00:25:56.140 --> 00:26:16.870 Hannah: anatomy. And I get to focus on the physical and the psychological root cause, so that we can have real time practice and to build confidence and to help with healing and to help figure yourself out to know that you know you're not crazy, that this is normal, and there is some help there for you.
00:26:17.210 --> 00:26:34.309 Anshar Seraphim: So, and we're going to have to move to break soon, so we may not be able to completely finish this topic. But I want to kind of get it started. I know that you don't just support individuals, you know, in fact, disproportionately. You see a larger number of couples, because this kind of dysfunction can affect them so much. But
00:26:34.620 --> 00:26:37.909 Anshar Seraphim: so when someone's feeling distant or awkward with their partner
00:26:38.405 --> 00:26:44.799 Anshar Seraphim: what's especially the bedroom, what's what's usually missing. And what's something that they can you they can get help with when they come to you.
00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:46.979 Hannah: I call it the invisible enemy.
00:26:47.010 --> 00:27:12.719 Hannah: I believe that when it comes to intimacy, that's the glue that holds couples and people who are together. Together. They're the oxytocin, the way that the brain, the neurochemicals change in the brain. It's the glue that can hold a relationship together. So when you have that fight, you're able to bounce back from it, and still be able to show love and care and affection, and the invisible enemy which is pain during sex.
00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:33.040 Hannah: or it's unspoken fear or shame, or where you're not going to be accepted, or people who are struggling with. I just don't feel sexy anymore, whatever it is that's going on. That invisible enemy starts to tear apart a relationship and getting to know what that is and understanding
00:27:33.040 --> 00:27:43.840 Hannah: why that's happening, can make your partner feel less distant. So, for example, if if I was having sex with my partner, and it was super painful, and I
00:27:43.860 --> 00:27:54.939 Hannah: I kept, you know, pushing them away and saying, I need to stop. I need to stop. Well, if I'm not able to figure out why this is causing me pain. Then they're just going to feel rejected.
00:27:54.940 --> 00:27:57.249 Anshar Seraphim: Absolutely. And and after
00:27:57.400 --> 00:28:05.889 Anshar Seraphim: after we come back from the break, I think one of the things that we're going to have to talk about is dating, and how these kinds of issues can affect dating in new relationships.
00:28:06.700 --> 00:28:07.730 Hannah: Absolutely.
00:29:42.130 --> 00:29:49.280 Anshar Seraphim: Welcome back to the happy spot. This is your host, Anshar, seraphim, happy spots where we talk about wellness and
00:29:49.380 --> 00:30:12.410 Anshar Seraphim: changing the way that we look at mental health in the workplace, at home and in our relationships. And today I've been talking with Hannah Fox, an intimacy expert and educator and legal Nevada courtesan works over at the world. Famous Moonlight Bunny Ranch, and one of the things I really wanted to segue into as we were talking on the subject because we're talking about couples and and how it can create dysfunction relationships.
00:30:12.410 --> 00:30:21.089 Anshar Seraphim: So let's talk about new relationships, because I know in the post covid world where so many people feel disconnected and feel disoriented by that.
00:30:21.090 --> 00:30:40.499 Anshar Seraphim: that everyone deals with apps and ghosting and mismatched intentions. When someone says, I don't know how to date anymore, whether that's after a loss or a divorce, or just a long, dry spell. Where do you even start? Because I know that one of the topics that you discussed is that many people come to you for help with dating. So tell us more about that.
00:30:40.940 --> 00:31:07.169 Hannah: You start by practicing, you start by failing. You can't get good at something unless you fail at it multiple times. There's this little Kierkegaardian leap that you have to take to get you going, and the hardest part is just deciding to do it. It's not easy. You have to allow yourself to fail and be messy. You have to allow yourself to mess up, but every single time you mess up you're going to learn from it.
00:31:07.380 --> 00:31:31.149 Hannah: and you're going to get better at it and get. Don't be afraid to ask for help, because this is a new world. This is not the same place where you go to a bar, you find somebody, you get a relationship, or you meet somebody at church and you get married to them. This is a world where it's all digital. You know. You can talk to someone on a dating app for 3 months, and they ghost you. And then they're gone, and you don't know what to do about it.
00:31:31.500 --> 00:31:36.980 Hannah: but just letting yourself really
00:31:37.790 --> 00:31:51.230 Hannah: know that it's okay to try is important. And if you're someone who is experiencing a divorce or a loss of a spouse. Grief can be a really hard thing to cope with
00:31:51.230 --> 00:32:09.880 Hannah: the grief and the shame, and it almost feels sometimes to people like you're cheating on your widow, your dead partner, your partner, who's passed away, you know. If I date again, you know I'm not allowed to be happy with someone else. I'm not supposed to be happy again, because that means I didn't love them. No, you can love more than one person.
00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:27.020 Hannah: You can be in love with more than one person. And one of the things you have to remember is, it's okay to feel grief. It's okay to feel shame. But you're going to have to feel those emotions. You're going to have to sit with them, and you're going to have to go out there and get it, because human intimacy is in need.
00:32:27.130 --> 00:32:31.650 Hannah: You know, physical touch is a need, and you deserve to have your needs met.
00:32:32.890 --> 00:32:59.060 Anshar Seraphim: So, and this is another frequently brought up topic, and I'm mentioning it because it was so frequently brought up. You often talk about the quality of sex education that we get in the United States specifically, and that there are a lot of intimacy myths that persist past the little bit of education that we have. So, with all that misinformation out there, what do you see as some of the biggest myths? And how do they affect people.
00:32:59.320 --> 00:33:09.329 Hannah: I think this has been my favorite question so far. So the top 2 myths and I can expand on both of them. One of them is that penis size equals pleasure, that
00:33:09.330 --> 00:33:36.439 Hannah: you have to have a big penis, or you have to have a certain type of penis in order to be able to pleasure your partner, and that is just scientifically not true. There are absolutely people who have fetishes and kinks that call themselves size queens and kinks out there, and but that's a fetish that's a kink that's not real life. What you have to remember is that the vagina is actually only a few inches deep.
00:33:36.440 --> 00:34:01.490 Hannah: and the way that it works is your bladder actually has to be has the uterus on top of it. And then here are your Fallopian tubes, and then your uterus actually moves away from the bladder. And if this is your vagina, it starts to get more space there. But originally, before that happens there's only about one to 3 inches of space available. When it moves, it goes up to 5.
00:34:01.490 --> 00:34:24.110 Hannah: They're everybody's different shapes and sizes. Sometimes it can get up to 6. But if you get up to there you're going to be hitting the cervix in most people. So all of the pleasure spots, the G spot, the clitoris, the legs, and this cusp of the clitoris are all within the 1st one to 2 inches. So people who are really worried about their size need to understand that
00:34:24.120 --> 00:34:26.385 Hannah: anatomy, you know.
00:34:27.469 --> 00:34:49.269 Hannah: Darwinism, whatever you want to call it. We were made to work together with the sizes that we have, and it's not something to be ashamed of or upset about. And the other one is that all women can orgasm. All women know if they're orgasming, and that's false, because that feeling, when the bladder and the uterus moves away.
00:34:49.637 --> 00:35:09.870 Hannah: can give you a kind of internal feeling that some people mistake as having an orgasm, and they talk about having this feeling in your lower body, like in your legs, or like in your vaginal area, where it's like this little spurt of pleasure. That's not a full orgasm that's not a real orgasm.
00:35:09.870 --> 00:35:39.080 Hannah: and you're missing out in life, and there might be ways to help you be able to obtain that, and you're supposed to feel it in your ears. Your lips are supposed to go numb. You're supposed to feel it in your fingers. You're supposed to feel it all over your body. You're supposed to feel it up your back. You're not just supposed to feel a little something in between the legs, and women don't even realize that there are women and couples who come to see me. And they're like, Oh, yeah, this is what sex feels like, and I always want more. And I'm never satisfied. And I constantly just want to have sex sex. And I'm like.
00:35:39.240 --> 00:35:43.080 Hannah: because you're not orgasming. If you orgasmed, you would be done.
00:35:43.230 --> 00:35:59.510 Hannah: You would not want to keep going. You would not have that ability you'd be like. Don't touch me anymore. I need a minute, you know. That's a real orgasm. Don't touch me. I need a second unless you're doing like multiple or something like that. And so like female erectile dysfunction is.
00:35:59.510 --> 00:36:23.149 Hannah: and I call it, female erectile dysfunction because of the gender gap and the quality gap between sexual health care for women. I think that we should be able to call it because we have the exact same tissue. It's not the exact same organ, because the penis is straight. And then the clitoris actually has the cusp and the leg split in 2. But the actual
00:36:23.200 --> 00:36:31.759 Hannah: corpus cavernosa that fills with blood is the exact same. The nitric oxide system, the erectile tissue, all of it's the exact same, and.
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:33.489 Anshar Seraphim: It comes from the same thing in the womb. Yeah.
00:36:33.490 --> 00:36:53.189 Hannah: Exactly. Well, people don't realize that the corpus funginosum tissue in men that you know cause it to be erect is in the vestibular bulb and the glands and the clit, and that we actually have all the exact same parts as a man. The difference is, ours splits off into. There's a hole there for a vagina.
00:36:53.190 --> 00:37:08.920 Hannah: and you know our clitoral legs, you know, get aroused, and they have to become erect. So any medication that affects the corpus cavernosa, the corpus corpus, sponginosum tissue.
00:37:09.300 --> 00:37:29.129 Hannah: and the nitric oxide systems within the body affect systems. So if a woman is taking a medication that says it caused erectile dysfunction in men. Well, guess what it's going to cause erectile dysfunction in her, and we don't have the option of going to the doctor to get Viagra.
00:37:30.340 --> 00:37:36.279 Anshar Seraphim: Yeah. And that's that's a problem. That's that's part of that, that sexist perspective you were talking about for for treatment. So
00:37:36.380 --> 00:37:44.480 Anshar Seraphim: i 1 of the things that came up in the ama thread, and I feel like I have to mention it just because it's so cool is you actually get referrals
00:37:44.550 --> 00:38:12.230 Anshar Seraphim: from therapists, educators, doctors when they want someone to kind of examine closer onto an issue. But the thing that really surprised a lot of people, and I got to hear more about this is clergy like you'll have priests and pastors sending couples to you, so you've got to tell us more about that, because there is so much taboo over sexuality. I feel like maybe exposing that narrative might give everyone more of a holistic view.
00:38:12.740 --> 00:38:24.609 Hannah: So. It is really interesting. And it did shock a lot of people. But I was raised independent, fundamental Baptist. So I was raised like conservative Christian homeschooler. You know, like
00:38:25.630 --> 00:38:27.920 Hannah: like what you would, you know.
00:38:28.090 --> 00:38:35.871 Hannah: expect to see the people in the Jean jumpers wearing like that was me growing up. And so what I realized was that
00:38:37.020 --> 00:38:48.439 Hannah: growing up, I saw marriage be so important to the church and keeping a marriage being so important to a church, and really, good pastors understand
00:38:48.440 --> 00:39:14.090 Hannah: that when couples are fighting, intimacy is the glue that's going to hold them together, and I've said that a couple of times, and it doesn't have to be a married couple. But in this instance we are talking about married couples. If it's a pastor referring to me. But the pastor will send me email and say, Hey, I have people who are about to get a divorce. They can't make it work. And the sexual component is a large portion of what is going on. They're like. Don't take off your clothes, you know. Make sure you wear modest clothing, you know, kind of like I am now.
00:39:14.420 --> 00:39:19.220 Hannah: and but help them, and so they come see me, and
00:39:19.730 --> 00:39:46.350 Hannah: they get referred to me by their pastor, and I keep my clothes on, and I teach, and I work through it because they get a chance to figure out what's genuinely going on. Why is this not working because it's that invisible enemy. What if your wife can't orgasm? You don't know it so she doesn't want sex, and because she doesn't want sex, you feel rejected and not wanted. It's not because she doesn't want you. It's not because she doesn't want you at all. She wants you. She loves you. It's because
00:39:46.630 --> 00:40:11.579 Hannah: there's an invisible enemy that is hurting the relationship. And I'm here to help you fight that thing. And so when pastors get a chance to actually speak to me and talk to me, and don't allow the societal norms to affect how they take care of their congregation. You know we have a side entrance. You can come in. You don't have to have a lineup. You don't have to see the other girls undressed or naked. I can show up. I can bring you in through the side door. We can go straight to my room.
00:40:11.580 --> 00:40:18.849 Hannah: The cashier can come from the office and help you, you know. Book it like it. You don't have to come into a den of sin
00:40:19.150 --> 00:40:30.250 Hannah: to get the help that is required. And then there are doctors and therapists and medical researchers and different people who are like I
00:40:30.540 --> 00:40:51.639 Hannah: I can't test this. I don't know what to do like. I'm stuck because of the licenses that I have, and the insurance I have in the laws, so I am not held back by that, and I'm not giving medical advice or anything. But I have them come in, and I actually get to see what the problem is and then fix it. And when that saves a marriage.
00:40:51.640 --> 00:41:08.600 Hannah: and that makes that marriage work. I mean, I was taught my whole life that we're supposed to be trying to get rid of the divorce rates in the United States, and that that's the key to a happy marriage and a happy family. So if this is saving a divorce, a marriage from a divorce, then why not.
00:41:08.960 --> 00:41:13.809 Anshar Seraphim: Yeah. And I know that you and I had talked about a little bit in a pre show that
00:41:14.158 --> 00:41:29.430 Anshar Seraphim: you know, you have doctors that are literally setting up appointments with you to learn more about how to help their patients. I hope that the exposure that you're getting on a platform like this, and hopefully, with the ask me anything that eventually you can be invited
00:41:29.430 --> 00:41:44.379 Anshar Seraphim: to spaces where doctors, you know, physicians and experts are learning so that they can actually pick your brain because they are missing that component. Now, when we got into the religious topic, and I think that there's a lot to unpack here. So I'm gonna I'm gonna
00:41:44.410 --> 00:41:56.719 Anshar Seraphim: talk to about it in a little bit of depth. But we only have about 60 seconds here before the break. So I'm going to have you answer after. But I know that you know you came from this very religious background, and
00:41:56.720 --> 00:42:19.200 Anshar Seraphim: that the way that that sexuality is presented in that background was one of the contrasts between that and going and seeing. Dysfunction in the real world is what inspired you. So when we do come back from the break. What I'd like to get into, if you're willing is to talk more about that conservative background, and how things like shame, religion! Taboo!
00:42:19.250 --> 00:42:44.869 Anshar Seraphim: How it's impacted you, but also how it starts to impact the the people that you're seeing. Now, the people who have some of those shared experiences with you coming from different cultural lives. So we're gonna deep dive into that after we come from our break here on the happy spot. If you have a question for Hannah, just so that everyone knows how to be able to reach you. What's an easy way to be able to reach you or write you.
00:42:45.850 --> 00:43:08.000 Hannah: So you can always look at my website, the Katherine whitmore.com. You can Google. My name Hannah Whitmore Fox. That's the easiest way to find me where I'm at currently and what's going on. You can also email me at hannahfox@bunnyranch.com, so that you can actually get your questions answered, for, like free advice or help, I don't mind at all.
00:43:08.150 --> 00:43:27.149 Anshar Seraphim: Fantastic, all right. Well, then, when we come back from our break, we're going to deep dive into this whole idea of conservative thinking, upbringing and more, and I can't wait to hear the feedback on this episode, because I'm sure that there's going to be lots more questions for us to be able to answer. Thank you so much for your time, and when we come back we'll move on to that topic.
00:43:28.060 --> 00:43:28.890 Hannah: Thank you.
00:45:04.120 --> 00:45:21.540 Anshar Seraphim: Hi, and welcome back to the happy spot. I'm your host, Onsar Serafim. We just came back from the break, and we're here talking with Hannah Fox, intimacy, educator and expert and legal Nevada courtesan at the Moonlight Buddy Ranch, talking about the need of human intimacy and how it affects all of us. Welcome back, Hannah.
00:45:21.540 --> 00:45:23.080 Hannah: Hi! Thank you.
00:45:23.080 --> 00:45:50.079 Anshar Seraphim: So just before the break started to get into this just a little bit. I know that you were talking about being raised independent, fundamental Baptist. We talked about purity culture. You obviously have a lot of experience about that, and I know that you were resonate with some people resonating with some of the people in the comments on the ask me anything about a conservative upbringing. So let's actually talk about religion and taboo, and all of that for a second. How has that impacted you? And how does it impact the people that you see.
00:45:50.830 --> 00:46:14.519 Hannah: Security culture. In my opinion it destroys people. I was told, if I kissed a boy I would go to hell. You were told that you know, if you have this special thing, that is a part of you, and that is a priority and a gift for your husband when you get there, and if you lose it, then you're worthless. And you're taught all of these things about your value and your worth based on this
00:46:14.520 --> 00:46:24.580 Hannah: single thing and that programming that is internalized. And that's in someone. It doesn't go away just because you've put a ring on it. And you've gotten married.
00:46:24.600 --> 00:46:52.730 Hannah: I mean a lot of the conservative Christian families that went to Bob Jones University and the other places where I was supposed to go had marriage issues because they were so trained and almost to the point of brainwashed to believe that if they had sex they were going to hell, if they had impure thoughts, they were going to hell. So they've trained themselves for so long to not think about another person sexually, that when it comes time to actually be allowed
00:46:52.730 --> 00:47:09.430 Hannah: to talk sexually about other people, or to about your partner or your spouse when you're supposed to be like. Oh, my wife turns me on oh, my God, you know, or my husband is very attractive, or I want to have sex with them. That programming that innate
00:47:10.020 --> 00:47:27.569 Hannah: from childhood words that are in your head. They're still earworms. They're still there, and they're still affecting people. And what I believe that you should do is, instead of teaching, you know, abstinence or purity culture. You need to actually be teaching readiness because
00:47:27.870 --> 00:47:37.380 Hannah: you can teach your child to be pure. You can teach, you know, people to not do this until a certain time. But what happens when that time comes?
00:47:37.520 --> 00:47:42.210 Hannah: What happens when they get married? You get pastoral counseling.
00:47:42.670 --> 00:48:01.500 Hannah: Are they a sex expert? Have they gone to school for sexual anatomy and physiology, or are they there to help you in the bedroom when you have sex for the 1st time? No, they're not. And you know you're not. They're not going to know what to do, how the anatomy works, how to please their partner. They're just going to know they're super attracted to each other, and they don't know what to do with it.
00:48:01.630 --> 00:48:02.310 Hannah: and.
00:48:02.579 --> 00:48:26.539 Anshar Seraphim: Virginity value programming, too. It kind of feels like, you know. What you're saying is that they'll they'll have this impression of that and then carry it into their marriage, and then wonder why they can't connect that sex will feel wrong even with someone that they love, that they're marrying. And then it also begs other questions like, if a person's a victim of assault. And now, all of a sudden, they're not a virgin anymore. Do they feel? Do they feel worthless, or their self worth issues?
00:48:26.840 --> 00:48:27.910 Hannah: They do cool.
00:48:28.090 --> 00:48:41.670 Anshar Seraphim: One of the things we talked about in the pre-interview is you mentioned that you had communicated a little bit with a guy named Joshua Harris, who wrote this book called I Kiss Dating Goodbye. So why don't you tell us more about that? Because I feel like the audience really needs to hear about that conversation.
00:48:41.880 --> 00:48:48.216 Hannah: If I get a little emotional, forgive me, because this was a really really impactful big thing for me.
00:48:48.880 --> 00:49:10.579 Hannah: I was raised on the book. Why I kiss dating goodbye. We read the Bible. We read this book, we went through it, we studied it. I almost had it memorized cover to cover, because that is how I was supposed to live. And it's programming that stuck with me for a very, very long time and
00:49:11.860 --> 00:49:30.179 Hannah: with religious trauma, and being taught, you know. Don't do this. Don't do this. You're not worth something if you do this, and and I don't want a wife who's been with other people. And there was this one thing that really got me, or actually 2 things that we were taught in the book. One of them was, we were taught to take a paper mache like a construction paper heart
00:49:30.280 --> 00:49:36.220 Hannah: and another construction paper heart, and then glue them together and then pull them apart
00:49:36.620 --> 00:49:50.770 Hannah: and then stick them to another one and pull it apart. And there were all these pieces of different colors on there, and that was to teach us that we're ruining ourselves for our future husband, that it needs to be that 1st time, because if you just glue 2 pieces of paper together, they're gonna stick.
00:49:51.110 --> 00:50:03.489 Hannah: Well, what happens if the worst thing happens to you, or what happens if you have to get that divorce, you are left feeling emotions that go into your next
00:50:04.100 --> 00:50:08.710 Hannah: marriage or your next involvement with someone else that really
00:50:09.390 --> 00:50:17.459 Hannah: hurts them, and that doesn't go away. And he actually ended up. I talked to him. I sent him some messages on Instagram.
00:50:17.460 --> 00:50:39.999 Hannah: and we talked. I was supposed to go and talk to him on his podcast and ended up, not being able to do that. I still would love to have a conversation with him like in person, or, you know, on the phone instead of just in text, but he actually apologized, and he said he showed me some information, and he actually discontinued printing his book because it had harmed so many people, and it had hurt so many people.
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:42.460 Anshar Seraphim: You, said he publicly retracted it, too, and apologized.
00:50:42.460 --> 00:50:54.969 Hannah: Retracted it. He publicly apologized. And will that heal everybody. No, but it is a start. And the fact that he did that, and the fact that he is so self-aware, and the fact that he is
00:50:55.020 --> 00:51:13.829 Hannah: going through the process of trying to figure out how to give people good information who looked up to him. I think it's incredible. I think it's amazing that he did that. And I think that is it going to heal a lot of people. It's going to start the healing process.
00:51:14.790 --> 00:51:19.220 Anshar Seraphim: Well, you know, and it's it's important, too, I think, just because
00:51:21.500 --> 00:51:39.160 Anshar Seraphim: that didn't affect his beliefs. I mean, he's still a deeply religious person. He still has that conservative bent on life. But he recognized that that idea, the culture that he was pushing with that book was actually causing damage, and people were writing him about it. So that's what I found really insightful about that. So
00:51:39.340 --> 00:51:42.820 Anshar Seraphim: you know, if if the idea here is for
00:51:43.200 --> 00:52:13.079 Anshar Seraphim: parents to start having these conversations with their kids, and they don't know how to do it. They don't know how to initiate this idea of sex positivity, even if it's just so that their children feel informed on how to take care of the person that they choose to marry, to create a positive framework, what what advice would you give a parent? Especially if they've been teaching purity culture up to this point? And they do make that landmark decision to change the approach, and they're completely lost. What's your advice for them?
00:52:13.480 --> 00:52:19.500 Hannah: Number one. Anatomy and physiology. Terms are not bad words. They're your body.
00:52:19.730 --> 00:52:27.570 Hannah: you know your penis, your sprotum, your balls. You know the words that society is like. Oh, God! Don't say that!
00:52:28.360 --> 00:52:36.219 Hannah: You need to know what your anatomy is, so that if you're having pain somewhere, you can say it hurts here.
00:52:36.600 --> 00:52:42.380 Hannah: or it's more about like you're never going to be able to stop your children. I am proof of it.
00:52:42.780 --> 00:52:44.770 Hannah: My parents did everything right.
00:52:45.180 --> 00:52:52.310 Hannah: you know, according to what they were supposed to do. But you're never going to be able to stop your teenager from having sex if they're going to have sex.
00:52:52.690 --> 00:52:57.259 Hannah: But would you rather, if they do it them know about consent?
00:52:57.410 --> 00:53:21.260 Hannah: Them know that they can say no. Wouldn't you rather them know that if someone's pressuring you. That's not okay. And it's okay to come and ask for help. I mean, I think, that you should teach readiness. I don't think that children should be having sex. I don't think that teen, and when I say children, I mean like teenagers and 15 year olds and 16 year olds, and you know, I don't think that they should be doing those things because they're not ready.
00:53:21.260 --> 00:53:35.000 Hannah: But I think that if you actually have an open dialogue where they're not afraid to ask that when they start doing it, when they're in college, or when they find that special person to be with that, if you have
00:53:35.100 --> 00:53:45.299 Hannah: an open dialogue and a connection with your child on this subject. They are going to be a lot safer than you, teaching them to just not do it.
00:53:46.060 --> 00:53:46.890 Anshar Seraphim: So
00:53:47.020 --> 00:54:14.370 Anshar Seraphim: then let's you know, because one of the things that we do here at the happy spot is, we talk about the kinds of different things that corporations and businesses and organizations can do differently to support the mental health and holistic wellness of of their employees. And obviously, you know, talking about this crushing need for intimacy, how much sadness and conflict and frustration and depression it can cause, how much misalignment in relationships!
00:54:14.510 --> 00:54:28.980 Anshar Seraphim: What do you think that companies and organizations can do differently without necessarily treading into. You know the the sexual relationships of their employees. Is there a way to be able to provide better support for them.
00:54:29.360 --> 00:54:39.019 Hannah: Absolutely, I think you know, acknowledging if someone has a breakup, giving them time off, acknowledging that it's important for the emotional well-being of people.
00:54:39.020 --> 00:54:40.200 Anshar Seraphim: Imagine that. Yeah.
00:54:40.200 --> 00:55:09.119 Hannah: No, but letting people take paid time off for intimacy needs to be able to go and see sexual help doctors or different sex coaches or in different places. Hiring a dating coach to be on staff to be able to help people. Because if if you've just been able to go off, and you've been on a great date, and you have all of this energy. When you come to work the next day you're focused. You're ready to go if if you
00:55:09.470 --> 00:55:17.359 Hannah: just got broken up with, or if you are, you know, on tender, and you just never get any matches, because for men tender is
00:55:17.360 --> 00:55:40.680 Hannah: is like, if you don't pay, you don't get to play like if you don't pay for all the services. If you don't pay for all the stuff you don't get to be seen, and having someone to help you with your pictures, your bio, your information, teaching you where to go out and meet different people and just giving people that education to be able to actually help them have healthy relationships and healthy lives, is going to make your your
00:55:40.830 --> 00:55:45.469 Hannah: employees more successful, and they're going to do better work.
00:55:45.870 --> 00:55:49.929 Anshar Seraphim: So I'm I'm kind of sad that we're almost out of time. This has been
00:55:49.980 --> 00:55:57.459 Anshar Seraphim: a really amazing conversation. And I know that you mentioned before our break. You know, if someone wanted to write you. If
00:55:57.470 --> 00:56:26.070 Anshar Seraphim: let's say that, you know doctors wanted to bring you in for a workshop, or if someone's interested in work, because I know that you mentioned that you do intimacy, coordination, and choreography, for like filmmakers, or they want to make things more accurate, or if their main character, like like, has a paraphilia or a kink, what are the different ways that people can connect with you online if they're interested on these topics and more and and where where do you live on the Internet so that they can start to do some more of their own research, and and connect with you.
00:56:26.490 --> 00:56:39.379 Hannah: Well, if it's Rebecca Yaros working on the 4th wing series. Hi! I'm available. I would love to be your intimacy. Coordinator. I would love to help you with the script. I would love to help you with everything. Please contact me everybody else.
00:56:39.820 --> 00:56:57.520 Hannah: You can go to the Katherine whitmore.com, and you can check out my website, and you can send me a message through there. And I have spoken at colleges, universities, conferences, organizations all over the place, and it's something that I really try to do because I make my money here.
00:56:57.520 --> 00:57:10.240 Hannah: But what I do is needed in other places, and I want to help where I can. When people are having sexual dysfunction or pain like, we need to be able to have better services for them in the world, but especially in the United States.
00:57:10.980 --> 00:57:40.249 Anshar Seraphim: Well, that's fantastic. I think that there's something for everybody to learn out of that. So on that note. Thank you so much for your incredibly valuable time, Hannah, and thank you for talking to us here on the happy spot. If you have follow up questions, comments. If you'd like to share this episode with someone. Make sure that you do that on all of our respective platforms. We'd love to get the message out there and start talking a lot, having a lot more of these conversations about what we can do in the system to better support, not just health and wellness out in the world, but also in the places where we
00:57:40.250 --> 00:57:42.540 Anshar Seraphim: can live. Thank you so much for listening.
00:57:43.380 --> 00:57:45.080 Hannah: Thank you so much for having me.
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