Welcome back to another special episode of The Conscious Consultant Hour. Join us this week as we dive deep into the topic of the meaning we make from the stories we tell ourselves.
So much of who we are—how we move through the world, the choices we make, the patterns we live into—comes from the stories we carry, not just in our minds but in our bodies.
Some of these stories feel open, allowing us to move the way we want and just be ourselves. Others feel constrictive, like knots deep inside us, shaping how we hold ourselves, how we breathe, and how we relate to life itself.
Somewhere along the way, we took our painful experiences and made meaning out of them. “I am not enough,” “I must be strong.” “Love is not safe,” “I will always be alone.”
These meanings became woven into our nervous system, into the very fabric of who we are and how we exist. But the truth is these stories are not permanent. Wounds can soften and heal. Meaning can change and shift. And when it does, we don’t just think differently—we feel different, lighter, and more whole.
Tune in to this week’s episode, "Changing How We Feel About Ourselves" and discover the key to living a life that feels better for you to just be you.
Tune in and share your own thoughts and feelings about the meaning we make from our experiences on our YouTube livestream or on our Facebook page.
http://www.theconsciousconsultant.com/
Sam Liebowitz, host of The Conscious Consultant Hour, delivers a heartfelt solo episode exploring the profound strength in kindness. He challenges the common belief that kindness is weakness, asserting instead that it takes immense courage to remain compassionate in a world that often rewards cruelty. Through personal insights and a reflective blog post, he urges spiritually conscious individuals to stand up for kindness, lead by example, and create a more connected, conscious world—one act of kindness at a time.
Sam Liebowitz delves into the power of self-perception, emphasizing how the stories we tell ourselves shape our sense of worth and identity. He illustrates how two people can experience the same event but interpret it in completely different ways—one feeling disempowered and ashamed, while the other gains strength and purpose. Encouraging conscious awareness, he invites listeners to reflect on their own internal narratives, questioning whether they uplift or limit them, and challenging the belief that disempowering stories are easier to accept than empowering ones.
Sam Liebowitz continues his exploration of self-perception, emphasizing that the beliefs we hold about ourselves are reinforced by life’s reflections, much like a dream mirroring our subconscious. He highlights the importance of recognizing and questioning the unconscious stories that shape our reality, urging listeners to take the time for deep inner work to differentiate facts from interpretation. Acknowledging that healing is not just a mental process but also a physical one, he encourages body-centered therapies—such as somatic work, EMDR, and even psychedelic-assisted healing—to help shift deeply embedded emotional patterns and truly transform how we feel about ourselves.
Sam Liebowitz concludes his discussion on transforming self-perception by emphasizing the importance of embodying new, empowering meanings through action. He encourages listeners to align their behaviors with their redefined self-worth, making gradual, intentional changes—such as self-care routines and healthier habits—to solidify this transformation. With patience, compassion, and consistent practice, he reminds spiritually conscious individuals that real change happens over time and invites them to reflect on and reframe a personal story before the next episode.
00:00:42.750 --> 00:01:11.259 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Good afternoon, my conscious co-creators. Welcome to another edition of the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. I am very, very pleased that you are all here with me today today is one of those special shows. I haven't done it for a little while now, just you and me no guest. I actually did have a scheduled guest who I really wanted to have on the show. Unfortunately, she couldn't make it. But we'll get her on another time.
00:01:11.950 --> 00:01:23.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So it's just the 2 of us. By the way, did you catch last week's show with Linda Starwolf? It was a wonderful, really nice interview. I hope you get a chance to check it out.
00:01:24.240 --> 00:01:40.049 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So today we'll get started first, st of course. Still doesn't matter whether I have a guest or not. You know. I always start with a blog post from a couple of years ago, and this one I really like this one. This one is entitled.
00:01:40.490 --> 00:01:44.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The Most courageous act is to be kind.
00:01:45.960 --> 00:01:51.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We often think of courage as something that shows up in the middle of war.
00:01:51.910 --> 00:01:55.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or perhaps in someone overcoming a physical disability.
00:01:56.570 --> 00:02:01.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Maybe we think of a kid in the Ghetto trying to avoid the gangs?
00:02:01.810 --> 00:02:06.169 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It could be the mother finding a way to leave her abusive husband.
00:02:06.790 --> 00:02:12.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There are so many terrible situations that we humans find ourselves in.
00:02:12.760 --> 00:02:17.880 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: whether by choice or by circumstance, one way or another.
00:02:18.140 --> 00:02:22.239 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: all of us come face to face with fear.
00:02:23.510 --> 00:02:30.379 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we tend to think of courage as the thing we need to move through fear.
00:02:31.230 --> 00:02:37.079 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yes, there is another kind of courage that is equally brave.
00:02:37.880 --> 00:02:45.219 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that warrants similar admiration and praise, though it rarely gets recognized.
00:02:45.910 --> 00:02:52.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that is the bravery to be kind, to open our hearts
00:02:53.370 --> 00:03:00.420 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: heroically, being present with someone and giving them a hug when they need it. The most
00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:05.689 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: kindness is rarely associated with bravery.
00:03:05.930 --> 00:03:09.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: yet it is the bravest thing we can do
00:03:10.550 --> 00:03:14.900 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to be kind, even when those around us are not
00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:25.179 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: being kind in what can feel like an unkind world, is perhaps the bravest act of any human being.
00:03:26.840 --> 00:03:33.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for there is so much in this world that makes us wrong for being kind.
00:03:33.630 --> 00:03:43.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that belittles us for being kind, and sometimes even persecutes us for being kind.
00:03:44.160 --> 00:03:49.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There is no shortage of challenges we experience
00:03:49.770 --> 00:03:53.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: when we make being kind a priority.
00:03:54.810 --> 00:04:01.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for we never know if someone is just taking advantage of our kindness, or if it is truly needed.
00:04:02.770 --> 00:04:06.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: so being kind is not for the faint of heart.
00:04:07.300 --> 00:04:12.919 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It is not for those who care too much about what others think
00:04:14.620 --> 00:04:23.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it truly takes a brave heart and the courage to withstand any criticism to be kind.
00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:31.219 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that is a courage that is rarely recognized.
00:04:32.840 --> 00:04:36.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Are you courageous enough to be kind.
00:04:38.880 --> 00:04:46.939 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know. It's so interesting that I wrote this a couple of years ago, and I feel like it's more true today than it's ever been before.
00:04:48.250 --> 00:04:53.719 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And and I just want to be clear on something, because sometimes
00:04:54.100 --> 00:05:03.359 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: people think of kind as being a pushover as not standing up for ourselves as not having good boundaries.
00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:06.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that is not it at all.
00:05:07.450 --> 00:05:12.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Being kind has nothing to do with being a pushover. In fact.
00:05:13.670 --> 00:05:19.690 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: when we're truly being kind when it's not easy to be kind. We're anything but a pushover.
00:05:22.470 --> 00:05:27.900 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But I I wrote this blog, who is actually
00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:34.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: out of a comment that my wife made about something I had done
00:05:36.340 --> 00:05:44.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: about being kind, and and not necessarily in a very kind interaction with another person.
00:05:45.270 --> 00:05:52.659 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And she said, You know it. It actually takes a lot of courage to be kind. And that just started this whole blog post.
00:05:55.270 --> 00:05:57.669 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I really believe that's true.
00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:05.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because so much in this world tries to indoctrinate us
00:06:06.400 --> 00:06:14.259 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: into this idea, that it's not good to be kind, that people are just going to take advantage of you. You have to look out for yourself
00:06:15.820 --> 00:06:18.539 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: any of that sound familiar to any of you.
00:06:20.170 --> 00:06:25.560 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know. I heard it a lot growing up. Well, you have to look out for yourself, because no one else will.
00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:31.710 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We can look out for ourselves, and we can still be kind.
00:06:34.020 --> 00:06:43.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So often in this world kindness is seen as an act of weakness.
00:06:43.670 --> 00:06:49.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I am here to tell you today it is anything but weak.
00:06:52.250 --> 00:06:55.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I feel that it's time that we finally
00:06:56.600 --> 00:07:07.349 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: turn this, this, this euphemism of, you know, kindness being weak on its head, and that we not
00:07:07.500 --> 00:07:13.760 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: allow that kind of a mind virus to exist in our society anymore.
00:07:15.430 --> 00:07:18.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Kindness is not an act of weakness.
00:07:18.630 --> 00:07:20.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it is an act of strength.
00:07:22.930 --> 00:07:33.079 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it is an act of strength, because it's saying, I am strong enough to respond in a kind way, even if you're not being kind to me.
00:07:34.950 --> 00:07:39.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: tell me what is a stronger act than that?
00:07:43.470 --> 00:07:47.669 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Kindness is an act of courage and strength because
00:07:48.530 --> 00:07:51.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we don't have to be kind.
00:07:52.460 --> 00:07:55.639 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We don't have to care about other people.
00:07:56.110 --> 00:08:03.299 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We don't have to want them to have a good experience.
00:08:04.310 --> 00:08:09.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We can be completely selfish and tyrannical.
00:08:10.130 --> 00:08:13.889 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I'm sure you can think of a few public figures
00:08:14.260 --> 00:08:16.929 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: who who might live into that.
00:08:20.270 --> 00:08:23.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and who would berate someone being kind.
00:08:24.900 --> 00:08:36.169 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and to be able to stand up and face that kind of criticism. Because, you know, you're right for being kind in a particular situation.
00:08:37.330 --> 00:08:39.769 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Nothing is more courageous in my book.
00:08:42.090 --> 00:08:54.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Nothing can can can be greater than being strong enough
00:08:54.980 --> 00:09:00.119 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to care about another human being, even if
00:09:00.220 --> 00:09:02.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we get nothing out of it.
00:09:03.210 --> 00:09:12.429 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: See? Being kind is not about a transaction. It's not a oh, I'll be kind to you, so you'll be kind to me. That's not true kindness.
00:09:13.920 --> 00:09:19.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: True kindness is. I'm going to do the right thing. I'm going to show you some compassion
00:09:20.270 --> 00:09:30.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because it's just the right thing to do, and and getting something in return is not even a thought in my mind around it
00:09:33.740 --> 00:09:40.329 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: other than maybe if we live as an example, maybe the whole world can be a little bit kinder. That would be kind of nice.
00:09:43.310 --> 00:09:57.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know I did. The other night I was at a networking event, and someone asked, Why do you do what you do? And I was like, because I want to create a more conscious world because I want to live in a better world for a selfish reason, I want a better world to live in.
00:09:59.610 --> 00:10:04.179 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So yes, if you think kindness can be selfish
00:10:04.480 --> 00:10:09.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: if it's just that we want to live in a kinder world. I'm all for that kind of selfishness.
00:10:13.650 --> 00:10:21.129 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but being kind, truly, being kind, being kind when it's not convenient, that takes courage
00:10:24.040 --> 00:10:32.459 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: like walking down the street and and seeing someone trip and fall and helping them to get back up and making sure they're okay.
00:10:33.180 --> 00:10:38.770 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: causing you to be a couple of minutes late to meet your friend. That's being kind.
00:10:42.750 --> 00:10:49.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: putting yourself out there trying to help someone, even when
00:10:49.830 --> 00:10:53.069 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you don't have much yourself that's being kind.
00:10:55.320 --> 00:10:59.900 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And why is it so important to talk about kindness
00:11:00.740 --> 00:11:06.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and to talk about the courage it takes to be kind, especially in today's world.
00:11:08.610 --> 00:11:11.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Because if we look at what's happening
00:11:12.660 --> 00:11:18.430 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in our government, in our media, in the world, stage
00:11:19.330 --> 00:11:23.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: unkindness is taking a stronger and stronger hold.
00:11:30.200 --> 00:11:47.260 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: taking an axe and destroying something mindlessly, is not a kind act cutting off aid to people overnight without
00:11:47.580 --> 00:11:54.209 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: helping them in some way to deal with the loss of that aid that is not kind.
00:11:57.230 --> 00:11:59.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And if we allow
00:11:59.630 --> 00:12:08.379 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: this kind of behavior to continue without calling it out without saying anything about it, it's only going to get worse.
00:12:12.730 --> 00:12:24.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so I just feel we all need to be a little more courageous to call out being mean.
00:12:24.830 --> 00:12:31.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Being a bully little bit more. We need to have a little more courage to do that.
00:12:31.810 --> 00:12:36.940 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: To say you know what what that person is doing is just not right.
00:12:42.940 --> 00:12:46.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now, look, I'm not
00:12:46.430 --> 00:12:51.430 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: saying we need to find more things to divide us. We're divided enough as it is.
00:12:53.110 --> 00:13:01.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: As a matter of fact, I feel kindness is one of those acts that can actually bring people together.
00:13:06.830 --> 00:13:10.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Part of having the courage to be kind
00:13:13.610 --> 00:13:18.679 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: means also having the courage to stand up to somebody when they're not being kind.
00:13:20.130 --> 00:13:28.309 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we all can do it in our own way. And it's not about getting in a fight, and it's not about name calling.
00:13:32.330 --> 00:13:40.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's about showing up in a better way. It's about being a better human being. It's about setting the example
00:13:42.750 --> 00:13:46.160 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for the children and for future generations
00:13:48.950 --> 00:13:52.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to say there's a better way of being
00:13:54.110 --> 00:14:02.569 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that we don't have to be callous and crass and mean an uncaring
00:14:02.760 --> 00:14:06.329 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and hurt other people with our whims.
00:14:09.260 --> 00:14:12.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We do not have to be like that.
00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:19.549 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we do not have to celebrate people being like that either.
00:14:19.790 --> 00:14:27.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We do not have to give that our energy and our attention. Yes, we need to know when those things are happening.
00:14:31.790 --> 00:14:40.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and at the same time we need to put our energy towards living a kinder life.
00:14:43.700 --> 00:14:51.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because, regardless of what anybody else does, we always have the choice.
00:14:51.450 --> 00:14:55.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We have the choice to decide how we live
00:14:59.140 --> 00:15:05.049 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and how we treat another human being, and we do not
00:15:05.700 --> 00:15:12.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: have to treat other human beings as disposable objects. They are not.
00:15:12.450 --> 00:15:18.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: They are living, breathing people, and they deserve our kindness
00:15:20.530 --> 00:15:26.250 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the same way we deserve their kindness when we're in pain, when we're struggling.
00:15:27.110 --> 00:15:31.829 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I mean, look, kindness is not a 1-way street. It's it's not something that only
00:15:32.050 --> 00:15:36.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: goes out from us. It's also something for us to receive.
00:15:38.850 --> 00:15:47.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But in this day and age, where kindness is becoming more and more rare, it behooves us to really
00:15:47.730 --> 00:15:51.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: show others how to be kind.
00:15:51.920 --> 00:15:54.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to stand up for being kind.
00:15:55.160 --> 00:16:03.260 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: especially for those to those people who are different than us, especially to people who are struggling.
00:16:05.080 --> 00:16:12.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now look, this does not mean that you enable an addict to keep shooting up. That's not kindness either.
00:16:14.150 --> 00:16:18.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Sometimes kindness means having to be strong and saying No.
00:16:21.340 --> 00:16:26.829 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and sometimes the kindest thing we can do is say no to people being unkind.
00:16:30.210 --> 00:16:36.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and so I implore you this week to stand up for kindness
00:16:36.610 --> 00:16:47.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in all different aspects of our life, not in a in a passive, not in a.
00:16:47.470 --> 00:16:52.489 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in, in a giving, in kind of way of like. Oh, there's nothing else I can do
00:16:54.100 --> 00:16:59.420 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but to really stand up for what's right in life, and we all know it.
00:17:04.430 --> 00:17:07.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Kindness just feels good.
00:17:11.710 --> 00:17:20.879 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and maybe if everyone in the world just felt a little bit better in their life, maybe that would
00:17:21.430 --> 00:17:27.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: change the world to a slightly kinder world. Who knows?
00:17:28.450 --> 00:17:30.930 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Why don't we give it a shot? Are you with me?
00:17:32.270 --> 00:17:35.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: All right? So that is my blog post.
00:17:36.380 --> 00:17:41.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: called the title of which is the most courageous act is to be kind.
00:17:42.560 --> 00:17:52.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and of course you can always find my blog on the consciousconsultant.com, and on the, of course, talkradio dot nyc slash blog.
00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:59.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So that's how we get started. And when we come back
00:17:59.520 --> 00:18:03.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: from this break we'll talk about our topic of the day.
00:18:04.120 --> 00:18:10.940 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: which is changing, how we feel about ourselves. We're going to talk about why we should do it.
00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:16.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: how we should do it, and what would be the benefits of doing it.
00:18:17.210 --> 00:18:32.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So everybody, please stay tuned. You're listening to the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. We do this every Thursday 12 noon to one Pm. Eastern time right here on talkradio, Dot, Nyc. And all over social media.
00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:39.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we'll be right back to continue this conversation with you, my loyal listeners. We'll be back in a moment.
00:20:25.690 --> 00:20:32.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And welcome back to the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity this week.
00:20:32.760 --> 00:20:37.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Just me and you no guests this week. Unfortunately, my guest had to change
00:20:37.930 --> 00:20:41.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: last minute. So it's just you and me.
00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:49.189 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So the topic this week I decided to dive into. And it's something that's been coming up lately
00:20:50.830 --> 00:20:54.839 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for me was changing how we feel about ourselves.
00:20:57.870 --> 00:21:01.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because we all have these stories
00:21:02.660 --> 00:21:05.749 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that we tell ourselves in the back of our mind.
00:21:06.940 --> 00:21:13.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: sometimes consciously, sometimes not so consciously about
00:21:14.740 --> 00:21:17.249 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: why we are the way we are
00:21:17.660 --> 00:21:24.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: about, how good we are, how bad we are, how smart, how dumb.
00:21:26.220 --> 00:21:30.370 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: how how worthy or unworthy we are.
00:21:32.720 --> 00:21:40.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We all have been brainwashed by ourselves
00:21:41.090 --> 00:21:44.919 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: into believing one thing or another about ourselves
00:21:46.140 --> 00:21:51.809 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because of things that happen to us usually pretty early in life. Not always.
00:21:52.490 --> 00:22:01.139 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but usually it's those early formative years between the ages of one and 7 where things happen.
00:22:02.760 --> 00:22:11.779 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And when those things happen, we start to tell a story around it.
00:22:13.170 --> 00:22:19.589 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Perhaps a caregiver treated us badly. They abused us, they hurt us.
00:22:20.140 --> 00:22:27.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Perhaps it wasn't even a caregiver. Perhaps it was a friend, the classmates, a teacher.
00:22:31.310 --> 00:22:42.999 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so there's this incident, and the facts about what happened could be very, very simple.
00:22:46.360 --> 00:22:49.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Let's pick one out of the blue. Let's just say
00:22:49.810 --> 00:22:52.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we we were in 1st grade.
00:22:53.470 --> 00:22:58.419 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We weren't really paying attention. The teacher calls on us. We don't know the answer.
00:22:58.600 --> 00:23:00.690 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and the teacher makes fun of us.
00:23:01.060 --> 00:23:04.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The teacher embarrasses us in some way.
00:23:07.270 --> 00:23:10.669 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we feel like we just wanna hide.
00:23:15.070 --> 00:23:22.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so the facts are the story, or we were in class.
00:23:22.990 --> 00:23:32.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We weren't paying attention. The teacher did call on us, and then the teacher did say something that was perhaps not so kind. Continuing our
00:23:32.270 --> 00:23:33.639 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: our theme of kindness.
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:37.469 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: All those facts are true.
00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:41.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Boop.
00:23:41.300 --> 00:23:45.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What causes us to feel a certain way
00:23:47.620 --> 00:23:51.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: is the interpretation we make of those facts.
00:23:55.720 --> 00:23:59.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How are how we feel in response to it.
00:24:00.150 --> 00:24:09.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the really curious thing is, 2 different people experiencing the exact same event
00:24:10.380 --> 00:24:17.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: could have completely different reactions and create a totally different story around those reactions.
00:24:19.900 --> 00:24:34.109 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So one person experiences this, and they're like, Oh, my God! I'm so stupid! I'm not worthy. Oh, I should never raise my hand. I need to be quiet. I need to be unseen.
00:24:36.540 --> 00:24:45.489 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because it's too painful to be seen, because if you're seen, people will make fun of you, especially these big human beings known as adults.
00:24:48.650 --> 00:24:53.679 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so we create this whole story around what happened.
00:24:58.790 --> 00:25:03.229 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And this story is something that lives inside of us.
00:25:03.650 --> 00:25:08.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we feel it in our body. There were all kinds of
00:25:08.420 --> 00:25:15.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: chemicals that get released that lodge the memory of this into the cells of our body.
00:25:18.090 --> 00:25:21.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So long after this event
00:25:22.530 --> 00:25:35.879 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we're still shy. We still still don't feel good about ourselves. We still feel unworthy. We still feel like if we're called upon. We're going to be embarrassed, and it's going to be painful
00:25:36.010 --> 00:25:37.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and shameful.
00:25:38.930 --> 00:25:41.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so we spend the rest of our lives hiding.
00:25:46.380 --> 00:25:57.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And there could be another person who experiences the exact same facts of the event.
00:25:58.870 --> 00:26:05.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but instead of feeling embarrassed or unworthy, has.
00:26:05.940 --> 00:26:10.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for whatever reason, a healthier sense of themselves.
00:26:11.520 --> 00:26:19.149 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and can recognize like, Oh, you're a teacher. You're not supposed to make fun of students. That's not a nice thing to do.
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that that individual uses that
00:26:27.300 --> 00:26:30.379 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: as a reason to stand up to authority
00:26:30.560 --> 00:26:36.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and say, You know what I need to protect other children, because that teacher could embarrass other children too.
00:26:37.650 --> 00:26:41.259 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and make them, you know, not feel so good.
00:26:41.620 --> 00:26:43.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So I need to call that out.
00:26:45.540 --> 00:26:49.579 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I need to stand up for people who aren't as strong as me.
00:26:52.180 --> 00:26:55.289 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And now that becomes a mission for this other person.
00:26:56.830 --> 00:27:03.310 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And now that person tells that story over and over and over again, and it gets lodged in their body.
00:27:03.830 --> 00:27:07.439 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that takes them on a completely different trajectory.
00:27:11.640 --> 00:27:18.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now, where the facts of the event any different?
00:27:19.530 --> 00:27:26.519 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: No, what was different, what really made the difference?
00:27:26.740 --> 00:27:29.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, of course, there has to be
00:27:30.020 --> 00:27:35.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: something behind this that led up to that person's reaction
00:27:38.250 --> 00:27:38.930 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: boom.
00:27:39.250 --> 00:27:43.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But what ultimately determined how they felt about it
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:56.289 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: was the story was the interpretation was the meaning they made from the experience.
00:27:57.480 --> 00:28:03.309 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we are meaning making machines. We are constantly making meaning
00:28:03.610 --> 00:28:12.739 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: from the time we're born until the time we die, we constantly make meaning out of everything we experience in life.
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:20.080 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and the thing is, those meanings
00:28:22.830 --> 00:28:27.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: cause us to feel a certain way about ourselves.
00:28:29.750 --> 00:28:34.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and sometimes those meanings can be empowering, as in my second example.
00:28:36.420 --> 00:28:39.899 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but more often than not those meanings
00:28:40.490 --> 00:28:43.800 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: disempowering like in the 1st example.
00:28:47.340 --> 00:28:49.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it's so interesting how
00:28:53.430 --> 00:29:00.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for most people in this world the disempowering meanings
00:29:00.410 --> 00:29:02.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: are the easier ones to believe
00:29:03.400 --> 00:29:06.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: are the easier ones to live into.
00:29:08.160 --> 00:29:15.299 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that it's so much easier to believe that we're not good, that there's something wrong with us, that we're not worthy.
00:29:17.880 --> 00:29:20.369 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: than it is to believe that. No.
00:29:20.820 --> 00:29:24.859 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we're whole and perfect exactly the way we are.
00:29:27.120 --> 00:29:31.909 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that just because somebody else does something that's not very kind.
00:29:32.030 --> 00:29:36.109 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It is not a reflection of who we are as a person at all.
00:29:38.600 --> 00:29:43.349 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it is much more difficult to hold on to that kind of meaning.
00:29:49.750 --> 00:29:53.420 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So what happens when we create that kind of meaning.
00:29:54.510 --> 00:29:59.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What happens when we take in these stories. And we live into
00:30:00.510 --> 00:30:07.219 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: these stories we create for ourselves from these facts, from what actually happened to us.
00:30:07.810 --> 00:30:12.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I'll tell you right after we come back from this next break.
00:30:12.650 --> 00:30:17.139 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because you are listening to the conscious consultant hour.
00:30:17.960 --> 00:30:24.759 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and if you have any comments, any questions. Please put it in the live stream. I'll answer them. Live now.
00:30:25.340 --> 00:30:30.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I would love to hear your stories. I would love to hear your feedback. I'd love to hear.
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:32.869 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How did you deal with all of this?
00:30:34.050 --> 00:30:37.639 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What kinds of stories have shown up in your life?
00:30:39.250 --> 00:30:43.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And are those stories empowering or disempowering for you.
00:30:45.250 --> 00:30:51.119 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So thanks so much for tuning in. Stay tuned. We'll be right back to continue our discussion
00:30:51.610 --> 00:30:54.769 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: on how to change how we feel about ourselves.
00:32:31.370 --> 00:32:41.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And welcome back to the conscious, consultant hour awakening humanity. We're talking all this hour about how to change, how we feel about ourselves
00:32:42.010 --> 00:32:45.939 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and what we talked about last Segment was all about how
00:32:46.080 --> 00:32:50.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the meaning we make from the things we experience.
00:32:50.650 --> 00:32:54.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: create, how we feel about ourselves, and how
00:32:55.860 --> 00:33:03.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the facts may be right, but the interpretation is up to us, and we can make a different interpretation.
00:33:06.550 --> 00:33:13.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The thing is is, it can be hard to change sometimes our interpretation after the fact.
00:33:13.370 --> 00:33:17.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because initially, we make some kind of meaning from the experience.
00:33:19.340 --> 00:33:21.649 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we start living into it.
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:28.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We start believing it's true. So we look for more evidence that it's true.
00:33:29.970 --> 00:33:33.439 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so life reflects back that it's true.
00:33:33.800 --> 00:33:42.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so then it reinforces that feeling, and this feeling lives inside our body lives inside our nervous system.
00:33:43.890 --> 00:33:51.590 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And that's why, sometimes, you know, we could have experienced something when we were little little little kids.
00:33:51.800 --> 00:33:57.739 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we can now be grown adults, and we still feel like that little 5 year old kid.
00:34:03.000 --> 00:34:07.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because it's it's not just in our minds.
00:34:08.340 --> 00:34:16.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's in our bodies as well, and if you tuned in
00:34:18.110 --> 00:34:21.809 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to the interview I did a couple of weeks ago with Paul Levy.
00:34:22.190 --> 00:34:26.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we talked about how life is like a dream
00:34:27.230 --> 00:34:37.569 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and in a dream. If we believe something is true, our unconscious will generate all kinds of symbols and experiences in the dream to show us that it's true, and that life
00:34:37.830 --> 00:34:46.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: is exactly the same way the fundamental nature of this universe is, it will reflect back to us
00:34:47.150 --> 00:34:49.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: what we believe, what we perceive.
00:34:53.639 --> 00:34:56.479 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so the more we believe something.
00:34:56.699 --> 00:35:02.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the more we tell ourselves the stories that we're not worthy. We're not good enough
00:35:03.130 --> 00:35:13.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that our mother, our father hated us, or valued our brother or sister over us, or thought money was more important than we are, or whatever
00:35:14.800 --> 00:35:19.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the story is, the interpretation is that we created
00:35:21.250 --> 00:35:30.370 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: life will keep feeding it back to us over and over again until we take the time.
00:35:30.530 --> 00:35:35.879 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we create a practice to 1st identify.
00:35:37.120 --> 00:35:39.509 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What are these meanings that we hold
00:35:41.190 --> 00:35:46.639 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the stories that we tell ourselves, especially from such an early childhood?
00:35:47.400 --> 00:35:52.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: They're living inside of us unconsciously, and we're not even aware of it.
00:35:54.030 --> 00:36:00.859 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We don't even realize we're still telling ourselves that story
00:36:05.350 --> 00:36:09.690 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: until we stop and we look at what is driving our behavior.
00:36:10.250 --> 00:36:11.899 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If we want to know
00:36:12.470 --> 00:36:20.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: what is the story we're telling ourselves. We need to look at our behavior in certain situations.
00:36:24.460 --> 00:36:29.769 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: whether it's when a man confronts us about something? Or when a woman does something.
00:36:30.420 --> 00:36:37.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: how does that make us feel about ourselves? And and what story are we living into when that happened?
00:36:41.590 --> 00:36:48.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So we 1st have to identify and be conscious of those stories.
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:59.989 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the challenging part is, we're all so busy running around trying to do so much, just trying to survive, trying to accomplish something
00:37:01.660 --> 00:37:06.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that we don't set aside time to look at.
00:37:06.360 --> 00:37:09.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Why are we the way we are?
00:37:11.120 --> 00:37:22.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What are the stories we're telling ourselves that we're living into, that we're constantly finding more evidence is true.
00:37:24.130 --> 00:37:27.159 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What are those stories that we're living into?
00:37:30.290 --> 00:37:34.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We don't stop and examine that. So 1st and foremost.
00:37:36.610 --> 00:37:38.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you need to take some time
00:37:39.180 --> 00:37:43.969 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we need to. If if we want to change how we feel about ourselves.
00:37:44.870 --> 00:37:51.590 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we need to step back and give ourselves the time and space to do the deep inner work.
00:37:54.520 --> 00:37:58.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to look at. What are the important stories in our life
00:37:58.900 --> 00:38:09.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that we've made meaning from what is the meaning we have made from them, and really look at
00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:12.469 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: what is interpretation versus fact?
00:38:15.240 --> 00:38:20.419 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Because, look, if we were physically abused, emotionally abused.
00:38:20.610 --> 00:38:24.800 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: mentally abused in any way, shape, or form. When we were a child.
00:38:26.120 --> 00:38:38.989 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That abuse is a fact, and we cannot deny that fact, but what we can examine
00:38:40.220 --> 00:38:45.569 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and then modify and change is the interpretation of that.
00:38:47.050 --> 00:38:50.539 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Just because someone we loved abused us
00:38:51.170 --> 00:38:55.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: does not mean we're evil. We're bad, we're wrong. We're unworthy.
00:38:56.280 --> 00:39:00.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Take your pick, whatever it is for yourself.
00:39:06.790 --> 00:39:13.109 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So look, I'm not saying to change the actual facts of what happened.
00:39:13.710 --> 00:39:28.489 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We can't, because our body won't let us, because our body will say no, you're just trying to, you know. Change the truth. I know the truth, and and it just won't be believable, and we won't be able to hold on to that.
00:39:33.120 --> 00:39:35.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But we have to ask ourselves.
00:39:35.900 --> 00:39:43.729 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Is that really true? Is my interpretation the only interpretation of those events.
00:39:46.390 --> 00:39:53.250 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and it never is. There are always multiple interpretations for anything that happens to us in our life.
00:39:54.800 --> 00:39:56.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so.
00:39:56.700 --> 00:40:04.130 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: if it's not the only interpretation, what other interpretations are there? What are the other meanings we could make
00:40:04.330 --> 00:40:10.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: from those stories? How could we tweak the stories, not change them? Just tweak them slightly
00:40:11.640 --> 00:40:15.130 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to take the meaning out. Just look at the facts.
00:40:16.830 --> 00:40:21.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and then consider other things before we make meaning.
00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:29.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: One of the most powerful experiences I have ever had
00:40:33.020 --> 00:40:38.449 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: was before. I went to to Israel to see my mom
00:40:38.980 --> 00:40:42.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: before she passed, and it was the last time I saw her alive.
00:40:42.660 --> 00:40:45.509 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I did a ceremony that weekend before I left.
00:40:45.900 --> 00:40:48.359 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and for the 1st time in my life
00:40:48.680 --> 00:40:54.009 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I really was truly able to see my mother and father
00:40:54.120 --> 00:40:57.519 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: as a woman and a man, and not just as a mother and a father.
00:40:59.220 --> 00:41:06.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I was able to see them as fallible human beings who've been through their own pain and trauma.
00:41:06.530 --> 00:41:14.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we're just doing the best they could with what they had, and having that experience
00:41:15.600 --> 00:41:19.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: just softened everything I felt around them.
00:41:19.930 --> 00:41:25.399 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I had so much more compassion for them than I ever had before.
00:41:25.570 --> 00:41:31.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I was so fortunate that I was able to talk to my mom one last time in person before she passed.
00:41:33.550 --> 00:41:35.609 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Most people are not that lucky.
00:41:39.700 --> 00:41:42.199 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But even if our parents have passed.
00:41:42.930 --> 00:41:47.009 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: even if our abusers are no longer among the living.
00:41:49.550 --> 00:41:55.129 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we can still have a conversation with them. We can still examine the story
00:41:55.900 --> 00:41:58.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and the meaning behind the story.
00:42:01.260 --> 00:42:06.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we can still look at what are other possible meanings
00:42:06.530 --> 00:42:08.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we can make from this story
00:42:09.370 --> 00:42:15.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that maybe the one we've made all these years is not the only meaning
00:42:16.220 --> 00:42:18.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that we could make from our story.
00:42:20.380 --> 00:42:22.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So it's not about changing the facts.
00:42:23.650 --> 00:42:26.640 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's not about lying to ourselves.
00:42:31.410 --> 00:42:43.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Perhaps we can reimagine and reinterpret what happened to us through a kinder gentler lens.
00:42:45.670 --> 00:42:51.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Perhaps we can just shift.
00:42:53.270 --> 00:43:03.509 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: even if it's just a little bit. You know, I'm a big believer in baby steps. We don't have to completely change the story on its head. But maybe we can shift it just a little bit.
00:43:09.090 --> 00:43:15.939 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That may be feeling so unsafe in the environment we grew up in.
00:43:16.850 --> 00:43:19.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We had every reason to feel unsafe.
00:43:20.060 --> 00:43:30.709 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But we survived. And we're not in that situation anymore. And we don't have to carry that feeling of unsafety with us through the rest of our lives.
00:43:32.240 --> 00:43:35.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And look, this is deep stuff. Sometimes.
00:43:35.220 --> 00:43:40.499 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We can't do it all on our own. Sometimes we need real professional help.
00:43:45.330 --> 00:43:52.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and seeing a therapist is a wonderful way to help to work on these things.
00:43:54.170 --> 00:44:00.730 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But these days, you know, my wife's a therapist. I know really the latest in the
00:44:00.850 --> 00:44:03.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: therapeutic psychological world is.
00:44:04.710 --> 00:44:11.169 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's all about body-centered forms of therapy, not mind. It's not about talking through it.
00:44:14.490 --> 00:44:16.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yes, our mind is very powerful.
00:44:17.860 --> 00:44:23.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and and if we use it properly, it can be our most powerful tool.
00:44:25.530 --> 00:44:30.389 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But the mind cannot convince the body of what the body feels.
00:44:33.200 --> 00:44:35.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So we need to find a way
00:44:36.120 --> 00:44:42.479 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to change how it feels in our body, not just how we think about it.
00:44:43.290 --> 00:44:46.299 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That's why we cannot lie to ourselves.
00:44:47.430 --> 00:44:56.569 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we cannot say to ourselves, Oh, it's not so bad. Oh, it! It could be better. Oh, no, it's not that big a deal. It's okay.
00:44:56.820 --> 00:45:02.749 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I'm not that hurt, but if the body feels hurt the body feels hurt.
00:45:03.530 --> 00:45:06.669 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If the body is scared, the body is scared.
00:45:07.280 --> 00:45:10.639 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If the body is in pain. Then we're in pain
00:45:12.190 --> 00:45:18.059 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and just taking a bunch of drugs to deaden that pain is not going to help us to process it.
00:45:21.050 --> 00:45:27.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That's why diving in with some form of body-centered therapy.
00:45:29.590 --> 00:45:33.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: For some people Emdr somatic experiencing.
00:45:33.810 --> 00:45:40.640 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: using psychedelics like ketamine, ketamine assisted psychotherapy or underground psychedelic work
00:45:42.760 --> 00:45:46.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because it works on a very physical level.
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:51.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The power of it is so immense.
00:45:55.080 --> 00:46:03.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So we've been identifying why we feel the way we feel
00:46:06.010 --> 00:46:11.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and what we need to do to change how we feel about ourselves.
00:46:12.140 --> 00:46:15.849 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so when we come back from break, let's talk a little bit about
00:46:16.130 --> 00:46:18.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: how do we live into this new feeling.
00:46:18.970 --> 00:46:27.730 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's not so easy about just make a new meaning. And now everything's better. No, there's a physical component
00:46:27.850 --> 00:46:31.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to living into this new story, this new interpretation.
00:46:31.880 --> 00:46:33.549 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So let's talk about that.
00:46:34.820 --> 00:46:44.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: When we come back from our last break. See, the show's almost over already, hey? I'm still waiting for your comments and questions. Make sure to post them on the live stream. I'll try and get to them before the end of the show.
00:46:44.920 --> 00:46:51.160 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Everyone, please stay tuned. You're listening to the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. And we'll be right back
00:46:51.430 --> 00:46:58.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to finish up talking about changing how we feel about ourselves in just a moment.
00:48:38.100 --> 00:48:44.719 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: All right, welcome back. So we've been talking about how to change, how we feel about ourselves. So the 1st thing
00:48:45.060 --> 00:48:50.839 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we need to do. To change how we feel about ourselves is to see why we feel the way we feel
00:48:51.060 --> 00:48:55.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: which now we've been talking about it. It's all about the meaning.
00:48:56.470 --> 00:49:02.939 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the meaning that we create from the stories we tell ourselves, from the things that we have experienced in life.
00:49:03.710 --> 00:49:12.329 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I do see, loyal listener Sanaya say, incredibly heartfelt and greatly appreciated. Thank you. Thank you so much for your comments, and I really appreciate that.
00:49:15.800 --> 00:49:18.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So we have these stories we tell.
00:49:19.660 --> 00:49:26.420 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There's 2 aspects to the stories. There's the facts. And then there are the feelings, the interpretation
00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:31.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: facts never change interpretation. We can change.
00:49:33.170 --> 00:49:38.730 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So now we see that we created a very disempowering
00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:43.620 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: meaning that just doesn't serve us. And we're tired of living into that
00:49:44.230 --> 00:49:46.849 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: story that doesn't serve us anymore.
00:49:48.080 --> 00:49:51.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so now we want, we create a new meaning.
00:49:51.780 --> 00:50:04.140 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We look at it, and we can say, Oh, it's not that my parents didn't love me. It's that they were just fucked up. And they had their own problems. And you know, they they had their own issues they were dealing with.
00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:09.049 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so we create a new story.
00:50:11.290 --> 00:50:16.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We create a story where we are worthy.
00:50:17.510 --> 00:50:24.099 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We just experienced something that was very challenging, and we created a poor meaning out of it.
00:50:24.980 --> 00:50:32.419 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We've learned now that there are other meanings we can create, there are other possibilities, not just one, but multiple many.
00:50:37.940 --> 00:50:39.879 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But now comes the hard part.
00:50:41.440 --> 00:50:44.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now it's about living into that new meaning.
00:50:44.990 --> 00:50:49.289 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's about integrating that new meaning into our lives.
00:50:50.130 --> 00:50:51.809 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So how do we do that?
00:50:54.070 --> 00:51:00.489 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, for example, maybe we had created a meeting, for
00:51:00.760 --> 00:51:05.489 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: whatever reason, for whatever the story was that we're not worthy
00:51:07.910 --> 00:51:10.819 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: who knows could be a million reasons why.
00:51:12.120 --> 00:51:14.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so, because we're not worthy.
00:51:14.600 --> 00:51:25.089 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we're not taking care of ourselves. We're not eating healthy. We're not exercising. We're not doing the things to live a vital, healthy.
00:51:25.430 --> 00:51:27.150 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: fulfilling life.
00:51:29.290 --> 00:51:31.199 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And now we have a new story.
00:51:31.330 --> 00:51:32.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know what?
00:51:33.020 --> 00:51:38.339 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Just because, you know, I experienced that pain, this or whatever it is.
00:51:38.540 --> 00:51:40.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it doesn't mean I'm not worthy
00:51:41.370 --> 00:51:43.940 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me.
00:51:44.870 --> 00:51:49.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I'm just me. I'm just different. I'm just who I am. I'm just whatever.
00:51:53.630 --> 00:51:56.560 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So now I want to
00:51:56.860 --> 00:52:05.849 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: feel that I'm worthy. I want to feel that it's okay for me to be here. I want to feel good about myself. So how do we change that?
00:52:08.080 --> 00:52:16.039 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So the 1st thing is, we have to do something physical. It's not just about being in our heads. All mental.
00:52:17.460 --> 00:52:21.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We have to actually physically live into this new story.
00:52:24.230 --> 00:52:30.649 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So if now you're taking your experiences and reinterpreting them and saying, You know what? No.
00:52:31.050 --> 00:52:35.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I am worthy. I am a good person. I do deserve good things in life.
00:52:36.170 --> 00:52:38.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How are you going to show that to yourself?
00:52:39.090 --> 00:52:47.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How are you going to take better care of yourself now to show yourself more self-love and self-compassion.
00:52:49.570 --> 00:52:55.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So the act of self-care is how we show ourselves that we believe that we are worthy.
00:52:58.370 --> 00:53:07.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So it's reinterpreting our behaviors and saying, okay, how would a person behave who feels better about themselves.
00:53:08.160 --> 00:53:15.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: who maybe experience these things, but created a different story than what I initially created.
00:53:15.650 --> 00:53:20.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And in this new story I'm actually an okay person.
00:53:21.440 --> 00:53:24.249 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Well, how would an okay person live?
00:53:25.110 --> 00:53:29.299 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What would be their habits, their routines, their patterns?
00:53:31.230 --> 00:53:34.709 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And if we're not sure, and if we're just like, well, I don't know.
00:53:35.680 --> 00:53:39.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Find someone find someone who you feel
00:53:40.120 --> 00:53:45.689 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because everyone's different, who you feel lives into
00:53:46.040 --> 00:53:49.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: pattern of. Yeah, I'm worthy. I'm worth it.
00:53:50.930 --> 00:53:54.329 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What are their habits? What are their patterns? What are they doing?
00:53:54.750 --> 00:53:59.379 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it's not that we have to exactly copy what they do.
00:53:59.640 --> 00:54:02.019 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but we use it as inspiration.
00:54:02.610 --> 00:54:04.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We use it as a model.
00:54:05.140 --> 00:54:08.880 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know. Maybe we don't go out and run a marathon.
00:54:09.650 --> 00:54:16.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Maybe we just get up a half hour earlier each day and take a walk around the block to start with
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:19.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: baby steps.
00:54:21.000 --> 00:54:29.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But the baby steps have to be actual physical things. They actually have to actually affect habits.
00:54:30.630 --> 00:54:41.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What do we buy when we go to the supermarket? Are we buying healthy whole foods? Are we buying packaged processed foods that don't really serve our body and serve our minds.
00:54:44.110 --> 00:54:45.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now look.
00:54:45.500 --> 00:54:55.590 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we might get some pushback right, because we've lived the way we lived with the habits that we have for so many years decades. Even.
00:54:56.190 --> 00:55:02.029 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we try and change. It's going to feel awkward. It's going to feel uneasy. It's going to feel weird.
00:55:02.280 --> 00:55:03.720 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That's okay.
00:55:06.150 --> 00:55:11.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And that's where having compassion for ourselves really comes in.
00:55:15.620 --> 00:55:19.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But this new story needs to be embodied.
00:55:21.440 --> 00:55:27.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The new habits, the actions, the awareness is not enough.
00:55:28.370 --> 00:55:39.620 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It needs to shift our patterns. Our ways of showing up and look like doesn't have to be a
00:55:40.410 --> 00:55:43.940 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: 180 degree turn overnight.
00:55:44.910 --> 00:55:51.499 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's just about leaning into the direction we want to go, being a little bit better.
00:55:52.420 --> 00:55:56.719 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What's just a small change I can make today.
00:55:57.520 --> 00:56:01.749 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and then reinforce that change each and every day, little baby step.
00:56:02.810 --> 00:56:06.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and then next week well, what's another little baby step?
00:56:06.350 --> 00:56:09.749 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And then, maybe a couple weeks later, what's another little baby step.
00:56:11.600 --> 00:56:15.640 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because the nervous system the body needs time to adjust
00:56:16.420 --> 00:56:26.159 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: when we change something too fast, too dramatically. That's what causes trauma in the body, because it doesn't have time to process the experience.
00:56:28.550 --> 00:56:42.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So we need to shift our experience, give the body time to adjust, integrate this new way of being, then make another adjustment, give the body time and space to adjust and integrate this new way of being.
00:56:43.710 --> 00:56:48.080 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: feel solid in it, then make the next adjustment. This is why
00:56:48.800 --> 00:56:53.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it takes 90 days to truly solidify a new habit in the body.
00:56:53.790 --> 00:57:06.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: A lot of people say it takes 30 days to break a pattern or break a habit. Yeah, 30 days is a good starting point. 60 days helps it to be a little more solid, but it truly takes 90 days
00:57:06.300 --> 00:57:14.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for to really sink into the unconscious, into the physical, into our biochemistry within our nervous system.
00:57:17.410 --> 00:57:25.049 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So let's find something that we can adjust. We stick to it for 90 days
00:57:26.630 --> 00:57:33.049 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: after 90 days we feel good. We feel solid. Okay, what's the next little adjustment for the next 90 days?
00:57:33.890 --> 00:57:41.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now, look, it may sound like, Oh, my God! I've got so many things to adjust. It's gonna take lots and lots of 90 days to make all these adjustments. Well.
00:57:42.280 --> 00:57:49.899 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: may not always take 90 days. And yeah, it may take a couple of years to really fully shift something.
00:57:50.400 --> 00:57:54.420 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but if it's taken decades to get where we are.
00:57:54.840 --> 00:57:57.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What is a couple more years.
00:57:58.930 --> 00:58:02.119 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I understand. Sometimes we've been suffering a lot.
00:58:02.460 --> 00:58:05.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we just can't wait for the suffering to be over.
00:58:06.590 --> 00:58:13.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But it took us a long time to get into whatever situation we're in. It's gonna take a little bit of time
00:58:15.400 --> 00:58:21.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to make that shift or adjustment, and once we
00:58:21.580 --> 00:58:28.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: truly integrated and incorporated in our bodies, we start to stand straighter, we start to
00:58:28.560 --> 00:58:33.089 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: feel better. Other people will feel it around ourselves as well.
00:58:36.175 --> 00:58:41.969 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So let's be kind and gentle with ourselves over this process.
00:58:42.980 --> 00:58:45.319 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and my invitation to you is
00:58:45.800 --> 00:58:50.559 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: between now and next week. My next show. Just take one story.
00:58:50.950 --> 00:58:54.959 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Take one event that has happened in your life.
00:58:57.230 --> 00:59:03.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Look at the facts, look at your interpretation of the facts, the meaning you're making behind it.
00:59:04.660 --> 00:59:07.730 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And how can you change that? What would be
00:59:07.960 --> 00:59:14.269 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: another credible meaning you could make from those same events.
00:59:16.840 --> 00:59:21.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and then from that new credible meaning, what's the shift?
00:59:22.080 --> 00:59:25.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And how do you live into that shift and let me know it
00:59:26.120 --> 00:59:29.250 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: next week's show. I'm so sorry we're out of time.
00:59:29.950 --> 00:59:45.109 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: This has been the conscious, consultant hour awakening humanity. Don't forget. If you did miss any part of today's show, you can always catch the replay@talkradio.nyc. And on all the podcasting platforms, spotify Pandora, iheartradio apple
00:59:45.240 --> 00:59:53.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Amazon. Wherever you listen to podcasts, you can always find us, and you can always find the conscious consultant hour on talkradio dot. Nyc.
00:59:53.840 --> 01:00:00.389 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: thank you all for tuning in. I appreciate all my loyal listeners. Thank you, Sanaya, for commenting on today's show.
01:00:00.930 --> 01:00:05.430 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Thank you all for tuning in. Take care we will talk to you all next week.
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