Thursdays 5:00pm - 6:00pm (EDT)
EPISODE SUMMARY:
Caregivers go through financial and emotional burnout especially when their patient declines fast. Sometimes they get confused on what to do next. The audience will get direction, resources and support from Phyllis Quinlan who knows how to "Share The Care".
Over the last 3 months I have been dealing directly with caregiver burnout and overwhelming struggles that impacted my mental health and overall well being. The struggle for finding resources, support and direction to cope with the ongoing distractions and sense of finality which can be despairing. After contacting Phyllis who has been the co-host of Frank About Health and who has been a true support, it was timely to have her return to the show to have a discussion with me about the resources available for caregivers across the board.
Website: https://mfwconsultants.com/
LinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/phyllisquinlancoachspeaker/
Tune in for this healthy conversation at TalkRadio.nyc
00:00:53.090 --> 00:01:07.909 Frank R. Harrison: Hey, everybody, and welcome to a new episode of Frank about health. It is October 10, th 2024, and the name of this episode is, there is support for caregivers. Now. It actually was suggested by Sam Lebowitz that I do a show like this.
00:01:07.910 --> 00:01:25.299 Frank R. Harrison: because for those of you who saw. I spent 9 weeks on a hiatus this past summer. It was because I was in the process of burning out while dealing with caregiving for my cousin, who basically now is concluded to have Alzheimer's disease, and the proof in that will be coming in the next few weeks.
00:01:25.340 --> 00:01:48.360 Frank R. Harrison: But that being said as I was burning out, I consulted with my dear friend Phyllis Quinlan. We'll say every now and then, co-host of Frank about health, because, as far as I'm concerned. You're still my co-host, even though I know it'll probably be another few weeks, or maybe a couple months, by the time I come back from my holiday hiatus for you to come back and talk about something new and exciting which you always do.
00:01:48.410 --> 00:02:05.890 Frank R. Harrison: And she advised me, during that moment of of heavy stress going on in my life that now is the time to basically dismiss myself of what I've been involved in, because it really belongs with the next of kin, which is her sister power of attorney, and which is her son.
00:02:05.890 --> 00:02:19.240 Frank R. Harrison: who lives with her as her current cdpap worker for those who want to know what that means. It's consumer directed patient assistance program. A new program that was offered starting around the time of the pandemic
00:02:19.340 --> 00:02:24.970 Frank R. Harrison: to each State's Medicaid Division. Of course, the hours and the timing and the rates and
00:02:25.030 --> 00:02:53.030 Frank R. Harrison: the enrollment opportunities vary by State. So this particular show will cover issues like that, in addition to other caregivers out there that are either dealing with similar cases like mine, or if you're dealing with elderly parents who are already in a home or probably dealing with cancer, surviving patients or parents or family members that are having different types of needs and care, giving concerns. Now, why, again, was Phyllis a perfect guest for this show.
00:02:53.470 --> 00:03:03.569 Frank R. Harrison: if you all remember, we did a 2 h share the care panel back in 2022. Where Aretha Gray was there along with some other medical professionals.
00:03:03.690 --> 00:03:18.890 Frank R. Harrison: and Sheila Warnock, who founded share the care. So I will bring the book out later on during the show. So all of. You can find out more information about it. But we're going to spend the hour in my view. I'm not going to call it therapy, but it's pretty much an open discussion
00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:46.630 Frank R. Harrison: about how I have learned a lot through her, and with her support, and simultaneously, the kind of efforts I'm going to be undertaking next week. That'll hopefully allow me to graduate from that role that I've carried for the last 3 years and move forward with, what's more important, which is this show and healthcare advocacy for all of you out there? So is that really the best disclaimer, Phyllis? I think so. What am I saying? That's either wrong or possibly subject to libel.
00:03:46.770 --> 00:03:47.330 Phyllis Quinlan: Well.
00:03:47.760 --> 00:03:50.150 Phyllis Quinlan: oh, dear God!
00:03:57.060 --> 00:04:00.850 Frank R. Harrison: I I'm I'm losing you the volume, I hope.
00:04:05.260 --> 00:04:06.160 Phyllis Quinlan: Now.
00:04:06.586 --> 00:04:07.440 Frank R. Harrison: Yes. Okay.
00:04:07.440 --> 00:04:13.649 Phyllis Quinlan: Better. Sorry, I I think, with the with some of the solar flares. I'm experiencing issues with Zoom. So
00:04:14.361 --> 00:04:21.589 Phyllis Quinlan: sorry about that. What I was saying was, my disclaimer will be. I'm happy to coach you. I'm not licensed to do therapy.
00:04:22.110 --> 00:04:28.099 Frank R. Harrison: Understood. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not looking for actual therapy, but it's therapeutic doing. The show is therapeutic. I always feel that.
00:04:28.100 --> 00:04:32.549 Phyllis Quinlan: Certainly we can certainly have a robust discussion, and happy to raise awareness, and
00:04:32.610 --> 00:04:40.239 Phyllis Quinlan: you know I'd I'd love to reinforce. You know the goodness of your character, and maybe some healthy boundaries that have to be put around some of your.
00:04:40.250 --> 00:04:45.949 Phyllis Quinlan: You know your your wonderful characteristics, that you might be overusing.
00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:50.821 Frank R. Harrison: Yeah, that's part of the burnout. It's like more fuel than the car can carry.
00:04:52.590 --> 00:04:59.690 Frank R. Harrison: you know. So I guess in this hour we will, we will do a lot of discussion of caregiving resources. We will do
00:04:59.750 --> 00:05:04.150 Frank R. Harrison: discussion of caregiving opportunities like the share the care organization.
00:05:04.370 --> 00:05:23.969 Frank R. Harrison: I may share a bit of my story. If you, Phyllis, believe it's warranted as an educational support for the viewers and listeners. But at the same time I hope that this show provides all of you caregivers out there some added support added resources that maybe you're not thinking about. Now, this is obviously a live show right now.
00:05:23.970 --> 00:05:47.489 Frank R. Harrison: So if you're watching this on Facebook, Youtube, Linkedin or twitch and actually have questions for myself or Phyllis to answer, please shoot them away, and we will be here to do that. But therefore it's not really a structured show, like all the other episodes we've done so far, but it's mainly it's like a bridge for us to navigate, and really at the same time educate for those out there.
00:05:47.870 --> 00:05:48.700 Phyllis Quinlan: Right.
00:05:48.850 --> 00:05:49.409 Frank R. Harrison: You know.
00:05:49.410 --> 00:05:53.870 Phyllis Quinlan: So I I think you know the the best starting point, if I, if I may.
00:05:53.870 --> 00:05:54.689 Frank R. Harrison: Sure, sure.
00:05:54.690 --> 00:06:04.319 Phyllis Quinlan: Is, is just to share with, you know the listeners that probably the best defense is a really good offense, meaning
00:06:04.340 --> 00:06:17.399 Phyllis Quinlan: that you know when you are an adult and you have X amount of responsibility. You have X amount of property. You have X amount of an estate. When you have acquired an estate.
00:06:17.767 --> 00:06:22.149 Phyllis Quinlan: And and you know I people don't particularly even like to talk about
00:06:22.220 --> 00:06:25.800 Phyllis Quinlan: life insurance, let alone planning for
00:06:25.970 --> 00:06:32.789 Phyllis Quinlan: someone to advocate for you, if you know. God forbid! You're not able to speak for yourself.
00:06:32.870 --> 00:06:59.620 Phyllis Quinlan: These are things that we that are very much real, and we very much put off, because either we don't have the time. We deny the possibility. I'm too young to talk about these things, and and quite honestly, I think you know the world is a very real place, and and we know that diseases can happen at any point. Accidents can happen at any point, and the whole idea is to be prepared.
00:06:59.810 --> 00:07:06.079 Phyllis Quinlan: So it's really important to have that crucial conversation with your family
00:07:06.390 --> 00:07:11.410 Phyllis Quinlan: to talk about what it is you want and what it is you don't want.
00:07:11.430 --> 00:07:21.269 Phyllis Quinlan: because there are many laws and regulations there to support you, so that you can have self-determination.
00:07:21.450 --> 00:07:24.909 Phyllis Quinlan: especially when you cannot advocate for yourself.
00:07:24.910 --> 00:07:25.430 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:07:25.430 --> 00:07:28.609 Phyllis Quinlan: But there are some legal things that need to happen.
00:07:28.620 --> 00:07:31.730 Phyllis Quinlan: Every adult in the in the country should have a will.
00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:45.369 Phyllis Quinlan: You should. You should also have what is known as advance directives, which is really the documentation that memorializes. Who can speak for you when you can no longer speak for yourself.
00:07:45.778 --> 00:07:54.710 Phyllis Quinlan: You know we want to make sure that all of these things are in place, and you need to make yourself smart. In other words, do some homework
00:07:54.740 --> 00:07:57.939 Phyllis Quinlan: around. You know your insurance benefits.
00:07:57.980 --> 00:08:05.049 Phyllis Quinlan: If you qualify for Medicare, what Medicare part a pays for? That's the free medicare that we all get at 65.
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:09.740 Phyllis Quinlan: What medicare part? A covers? More importantly, what it doesn't cover?
00:08:10.092 --> 00:08:14.780 Phyllis Quinlan: And then, you know, do you have to make an investment in medicare part? B.
00:08:15.179 --> 00:08:20.389 Phyllis Quinlan: Do you, or do you not? You know? Do you want to be cared for in your home
00:08:20.680 --> 00:08:28.980 Phyllis Quinlan: for as long as possible? And do you have long term care insurance to be able to in, you know, finance, something like that.
00:08:29.558 --> 00:08:33.679 Phyllis Quinlan: These these are, you know, the realities, and they're
00:08:34.380 --> 00:08:37.409 Phyllis Quinlan: I know they can be unsettling for folks.
00:08:38.440 --> 00:09:07.129 Phyllis Quinlan: But it is the most loving thing you can do for your family if you try to have all of these things at least started prepared, and the more you have prepared, the easier it is for your family to carry out your wishes the easiest it is for your family to be able to participate in their life fully, and still be able to have the ability to care for you in the manner in which you
00:09:07.130 --> 00:09:28.579 Phyllis Quinlan: want or need to be cared for when you do no preparation, then the the reality of what are we going to do with Mom, dad, or whomever falls totally on on the next person's shoulders, and I don't think that's loving. I don't think that's fair.
00:09:28.640 --> 00:09:31.430 Phyllis Quinlan: and of course every family has.
00:09:31.500 --> 00:09:52.730 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, the one the one family member that will head for the hills, and you never hear from them again. But every family has that one family member that will always step up and try to do the right thing, and that's the person who's at risk for caregiver fatigue, and really finding themselves almost in an abusive behavior.
00:09:52.790 --> 00:09:57.819 Phyllis Quinlan: If there is an preparation discussion, agreement.
00:09:58.563 --> 00:10:05.500 Phyllis Quinlan: You know, and paperwork much needed paperwork to guide the actions going forward.
00:10:05.780 --> 00:10:06.560 Phyllis Quinlan: Yep.
00:10:06.840 --> 00:10:10.710 Frank R. Harrison: Exactly, and that is after we had that discussion in July.
00:10:10.800 --> 00:10:20.329 Frank R. Harrison: There's been a not as not a mountain of paperwork. But there's been a lot of papers being developed and distributed and emailed and filed, and we have some more to do next week.
00:10:20.370 --> 00:10:24.530 Frank R. Harrison: So I am definitely taking your lead on on all of what you've just said.
00:10:24.820 --> 00:10:29.760 Phyllis Quinlan: And and I I don't think it's you know, this might. This might
00:10:30.650 --> 00:10:38.249 Phyllis Quinlan: start some really heavy conversation, and I and you know, I think conversation is healthy in this regard right?
00:10:38.320 --> 00:11:06.529 Phyllis Quinlan: But when we start to see that there's a situation where a family member is deteriorating or is going to need more more care, or perhaps isn't at home safe alone, and needs to have assistance. Whatever that assistance is. It could be meals on wheels. It could be you know, a cleaning service. It could be a companion. It could be a lot of different things depending on what that person's needs are.
00:11:06.978 --> 00:11:20.510 Phyllis Quinlan: But having that conversation ahead of time is extremely important, because people need to know what resources there are to support that. What insurance programs have been invested in in order to support that.
00:11:20.820 --> 00:11:21.970 Frank R. Harrison: Right right, but.
00:11:21.970 --> 00:11:28.909 Phyllis Quinlan: But when that happens, the the person who feels or is being asked to step up to do the right thing.
00:11:28.930 --> 00:11:40.520 Phyllis Quinlan: and be that named person who makes decisions on behalf of the other, or is being asked to transport people to
00:11:40.730 --> 00:11:50.599 Phyllis Quinlan: physicians. Offices, or, you know, do other things, and and, in other words, get engaged in that person's life far more than they ever thought they would be
00:11:50.770 --> 00:11:54.650 Phyllis Quinlan: while trying to stay engaged in a healthy way in their own life.
00:11:54.890 --> 00:11:55.190 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:11:55.643 --> 00:12:00.180 Phyllis Quinlan: That person needs to have a serious conversation with themselves.
00:12:00.540 --> 00:12:05.119 Phyllis Quinlan: and they have to be very, very clear with themselves as to
00:12:05.260 --> 00:12:09.820 Phyllis Quinlan: what they can do what they want to do versus what they can do
00:12:09.860 --> 00:12:14.710 Phyllis Quinlan: versus what is healthy boundary boundaries around
00:12:16.570 --> 00:12:17.870 Phyllis Quinlan: should do.
00:12:18.670 --> 00:12:20.060 Frank R. Harrison: Correct, correct.
00:12:20.060 --> 00:12:28.419 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay? Because in your particular case you're not next of kin. There is next of kin. We're not talking about a situation
00:12:28.540 --> 00:12:31.520 Phyllis Quinlan: where this person has no one.
00:12:32.490 --> 00:12:42.639 Phyllis Quinlan: We are talking about a situation where there are several people present legal next of kins, and for whatever reason may or may not be willing to
00:12:42.670 --> 00:12:44.430 Phyllis Quinlan: participate fully.
00:12:44.430 --> 00:12:45.170 Frank R. Harrison: Correct.
00:12:45.170 --> 00:12:47.230 Phyllis Quinlan: And now are relying on
00:12:47.740 --> 00:12:50.020 Phyllis Quinlan: someone else's participation.
00:12:50.980 --> 00:12:58.150 Phyllis Quinlan: And it's lovely and wonderful and great when that person steps up. God bless them! I don't know what we would do without them.
00:12:58.480 --> 00:12:59.350 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:12:59.500 --> 00:13:08.400 Phyllis Quinlan: But there has to be a conversation before you accept the responsibility of. Here's what I can do, and this is how far I can go.
00:13:08.790 --> 00:13:13.599 Phyllis Quinlan: and you have to keep those healthy boundaries alive because
00:13:15.770 --> 00:13:21.669 Phyllis Quinlan: there's an old saying that one woman can have 6 kids and 6 kids can't take care of one woman
00:13:24.500 --> 00:13:31.759 Phyllis Quinlan: now, whether that's disagreement, family dynamics! Who's got her? Who's you know? She's gonna come, live with me, whatever the case may be.
00:13:32.120 --> 00:13:32.900 Frank R. Harrison: -
00:13:34.200 --> 00:13:39.829 Phyllis Quinlan: there's always going to be that one person that assumes a greater share of the responsibility
00:13:40.820 --> 00:13:45.050 Phyllis Quinlan: than others has to be the final decision maker.
00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:49.619 Phyllis Quinlan: and you have to be very clear, especially if you're not next of kin.
00:13:49.970 --> 00:14:01.190 Phyllis Quinlan: As to where your role begins and ends, and what you can do, and you have to have a real good inventory of where your life is currently and how it will evolve in the next few years.
00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:02.850 Phyllis Quinlan: because your
00:14:03.390 --> 00:14:08.859 Phyllis Quinlan: next of kin responsibilities might evolve in a very different direction. And now
00:14:09.150 --> 00:14:12.339 Phyllis Quinlan: you're burning the candle at both ends, and in the middle.
00:14:12.670 --> 00:14:32.909 Frank R. Harrison: Right. And I definitely did reach that point in July. So everything has been happening timely, and I'm just grateful. Not just that you were there, but also that this show and the network and doing this documentary which is going to be released soon, had been cushioning me on this journey, because if I didn't have any of that, I think I would have just literally burnt out.
00:14:33.010 --> 00:14:38.163 Frank R. Harrison: and it just would have been over for everyone involved. Well, we're about to take our 1st break.
00:14:38.500 --> 00:14:51.390 Frank R. Harrison: and then hopefully, in the second section, we're going to make this all into a positive. So when we return right here on Frank about health. Phyllis and I will further discuss about how there is help and resources for caregivers.
00:14:51.400 --> 00:14:52.600 Frank R. Harrison: Stay tuned.
00:17:05.230 --> 00:17:15.120 Frank R. Harrison: Hey, everybody! And welcome back. As I was taking my break, I was looking for the share. The care book I found pretty much a lot of other books that we have featured here on Frank about health
00:17:15.130 --> 00:17:20.980 Frank R. Harrison: minus that one. So, Phyllis, do you happen to have that right there? Because I definitely don't want to promote.
00:17:20.980 --> 00:17:23.399 Phyllis Quinlan: The next break I'll take, and I'll take a look.
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:27.560 Frank R. Harrison: Okay, that'll that'll be your turn to take your little break. All right. So
00:17:27.829 --> 00:17:34.530 Frank R. Harrison: ha! There is help for caregivers. So this particular segment I would like to talk about.
00:17:34.670 --> 00:17:35.930 Frank R. Harrison: I guess.
00:17:36.030 --> 00:17:47.810 Frank R. Harrison: Well, not exactly what kind of help, but in the procedural aspects that you discussed in the segment one. Do we want to take this from my actual case that I'm involved in? Or do you want to go from a macro view
00:17:47.850 --> 00:17:56.050 Frank R. Harrison: of particularly caregivers that you have seen go through this process. How? How do you think it would be best serving.
00:17:56.050 --> 00:18:00.429 Phyllis Quinlan: I think the macro view might work to start. Let's try. There, let's start. There.
00:18:00.430 --> 00:18:01.196 Frank R. Harrison: Sure. Sure.
00:18:02.010 --> 00:18:10.840 Frank R. Harrison: So then, on that note, do you have a case of someone that you had seen as a professional caregiver go through
00:18:10.900 --> 00:18:15.320 Frank R. Harrison: this, the kind of dynamics you discussed, a dysfunctional family setup
00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:20.749 Frank R. Harrison: them, putting all the work on this caregiver, leaving him or her to
00:18:21.220 --> 00:18:25.800 Frank R. Harrison: to just almost, you know, quit, or whatever the right word would be.
00:18:26.180 --> 00:18:39.230 Phyllis Quinlan: So, you know, you know, I have very wonderful stories about families that really circle the wagons around family members, regardless of whether they are next to kin or not. They they.
00:18:39.310 --> 00:18:45.549 Phyllis Quinlan: They have a humanitarian responsibility as well as a family responsibility, and they honor it
00:18:45.600 --> 00:19:06.850 Phyllis Quinlan: so gracefully and so wonderfully. And I have thousands of stories like that. But we we all would be naive if we didn't know that. You know. There's just as many, unfortunately stories where, you know, people are are blindsided in the sense of not really realizing what's available and what's not available.
00:19:07.170 --> 00:19:07.529 Frank R. Harrison: Come on!
00:19:07.530 --> 00:19:23.349 Phyllis Quinlan: They don't understand how the law works. They don't understand how Medicare Medicaid social security qualifying for a nursing home works. They don't understand how to pay for a nursing home, and how that might work. So there are.
00:19:23.490 --> 00:19:43.949 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, you really, if you are the adult child of someone who is of an aging parent, you know. You really need to start to make yourself smart and do some homework around this. Now that's whether you sit with an attorney. You watch Youtube, you do your own investigation. You speak with, you know a colleague who is
00:19:43.950 --> 00:19:53.540 Phyllis Quinlan: perhaps a medical social worker who can bring you up to speed on things. But it's important that you not put off teaching yourself
00:19:53.890 --> 00:19:57.820 Phyllis Quinlan: what what is and what isn't, because I think the
00:20:01.350 --> 00:20:13.649 Phyllis Quinlan: to be to be. Sometimes what happens with families happens suddenly so it could be a car accident. It could be a fall off a ladder. It could be a stroke. It could be a heart attack. It could be.
00:20:13.950 --> 00:20:17.060 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, 10,000 different things.
00:20:17.230 --> 00:20:23.600 Phyllis Quinlan: And and you, you know there's no time to prepare. Everybody thinks well, I have time to prepare, and
00:20:23.670 --> 00:20:30.779 Phyllis Quinlan: and honestly you don't. All right. So you know, to the more prepared you can be the easier
00:20:30.790 --> 00:20:35.659 Phyllis Quinlan: taking on the role of a family caregiver will be on everyone.
00:20:35.950 --> 00:20:41.279 Phyllis Quinlan: and especially having those conversations. I think the the most
00:20:43.330 --> 00:20:53.390 Phyllis Quinlan: frustrating thing that we that I have seen is when we ask the family, is there a do. We have advanced directives.
00:20:53.410 --> 00:21:10.369 Phyllis Quinlan: and you're hoping that someone has outlined what they want, what they don't want? What's the limitations of certain things? And everybody says, Yeah, she has advanced. She does. She does. She has the paperwork, she has the paperwork. Okay? Can I see the paperwork and the paperwork simply says, my family knows my wishes.
00:21:11.796 --> 00:21:12.630 Frank R. Harrison: Quite happy.
00:21:12.630 --> 00:21:18.980 Phyllis Quinlan: Is so common, Frank, that the person does the paperwork, but they don't outline
00:21:19.060 --> 00:21:24.210 Phyllis Quinlan: what they want or they don't want. They apparently, according to this
00:21:24.260 --> 00:21:30.930 Phyllis Quinlan: are making a statement that says my family knows my wishes, and the family is looking at each other. Going? Did she talk to you? Did he talk to you?
00:21:31.010 --> 00:21:33.410 Phyllis Quinlan: Because there was no conversation.
00:21:34.070 --> 00:21:34.900 Frank R. Harrison: Incredible.
00:21:34.900 --> 00:21:47.020 Phyllis Quinlan: And so we have a piece of paper that is, that could be helpful. Now that is useless. And again, people don't like to have this conversation, but it's.
00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:57.420 Phyllis Quinlan: I promise you, having the reality of no conversation could be far more trying and tormenting than having the conversation.
00:21:57.750 --> 00:21:58.560 Frank R. Harrison: That's true.
00:21:58.560 --> 00:21:59.100 Phyllis Quinlan: You know.
00:21:59.690 --> 00:22:01.690 Frank R. Harrison: Forearmed, is forewarned.
00:22:01.690 --> 00:22:19.030 Phyllis Quinlan: Well be prepared. Know your legal rights, you know, so you know, know that you know that if you you go, if you own property. If you are an adult and you own property, and for whatever reason you need to have long term care. Maybe you had a catastrophic
00:22:19.110 --> 00:22:31.550 Phyllis Quinlan: head injury in a in an accident, or whatever an assault. All right. And now now you need, you know you went to a rehab center. You went to you, went to the hospital and you were discharged to a subacute rehab center.
00:22:32.350 --> 00:22:38.829 Phyllis Quinlan: You need to know what insurance pays for one, and what insurance pays for the other, because the same insurance doesn't necessarily pay for both.
00:22:39.260 --> 00:22:39.800 Frank R. Harrison: Hmm.
00:22:39.800 --> 00:22:41.230 Phyllis Quinlan: That's a beginning point.
00:22:41.350 --> 00:22:48.700 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay? Now, subacute care rehab. Will you know, how long does that insurance work for.
00:22:49.150 --> 00:22:52.090 Phyllis Quinlan: and how much of it is Copay.
00:22:52.620 --> 00:23:03.299 Phyllis Quinlan: because it's not a hundred percent. So what do we know about that? The other pieces is, if well, if in the time that they're giving her to rehab. She may rehab only
00:23:03.540 --> 00:23:07.070 Phyllis Quinlan: 25% back. Then what.
00:23:07.775 --> 00:23:07.970 Frank R. Harrison: So.
00:23:07.970 --> 00:23:18.520 Phyllis Quinlan: Now does she become a long term resident of this facility. Now, I've worked in in the area of long-term care and subacute care for a number of years, and
00:23:18.590 --> 00:23:25.460 Phyllis Quinlan: just like acute care hospitals. You have really good ones, and you have ones that you know you you cringe at the thought of.
00:23:25.510 --> 00:23:36.720 Phyllis Quinlan: and you know. But these are these are places where you know it's a medical model. There are medical needs that are taken care of, but long-term care facilities are actually that person's home.
00:23:37.476 --> 00:23:41.950 Phyllis Quinlan: You know, everything can happen in a long term. Care, facility.
00:23:42.393 --> 00:23:47.729 Phyllis Quinlan: The person can be cared for. They can have their activities of daily living cared for.
00:23:47.750 --> 00:23:55.510 Phyllis Quinlan: They can be clean and dry and and have their dignity cared for. They can eat, they can socialize.
00:23:55.940 --> 00:23:56.259 Frank R. Harrison: Thank you.
00:23:56.260 --> 00:23:57.050 Phyllis Quinlan: Date.
00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:01.660 Phyllis Quinlan: I've been to weddings. I've been to divorces.
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:09.230 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, when you have a you know a couple that's been married for 60 years, and she's decided she's done.
00:24:09.670 --> 00:24:11.470 Phyllis Quinlan: We get a divorce.
00:24:12.090 --> 00:24:19.150 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, and if the person wants a job, it's our responsibility to find paying work
00:24:19.270 --> 00:24:26.980 Phyllis Quinlan: and maybe even submit taxes depending on what that job is because the long-term care facility is indeed that person's home.
00:24:27.100 --> 00:24:32.859 Phyllis Quinlan: and we we conducted as such. We we train our staff as such.
00:24:32.920 --> 00:24:35.470 Phyllis Quinlan: But it it's not cheap.
00:24:35.760 --> 00:24:39.960 Phyllis Quinlan: No. So if you're thinking, well, she's got medicare.
00:24:40.650 --> 00:24:41.770 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay.
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:49.110 Phyllis Quinlan: Medicare part A is only going to pay for acute care. Medicare part B can help you pay for some of
00:24:49.180 --> 00:24:51.679 Phyllis Quinlan: the subacute care.
00:24:51.990 --> 00:24:52.380 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:24:52.380 --> 00:24:57.470 Phyllis Quinlan: All right, but medicare part B will pay for 100 days.
00:24:59.030 --> 00:25:02.720 Frank R. Harrison: That's when they hopefully have Medicaid as well correct.
00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:12.070 Phyllis Quinlan: Well, hang on. Okay. So Medicare part B will give you 100 days. It will pay for the 1st 20 days at 100
00:25:12.540 --> 00:25:14.300 Phyllis Quinlan: on day 21,
00:25:14.420 --> 00:25:21.210 Phyllis Quinlan: you start paying 20%. And the insurance pays 80% for the next 80 days
00:25:21.400 --> 00:25:26.930 Phyllis Quinlan: after the 80 days. If nothing has changed. It's a hundred percent on the person.
00:25:28.980 --> 00:25:29.660 Frank R. Harrison: God.
00:25:29.660 --> 00:25:36.969 Phyllis Quinlan: So in many cases. And this is not. This is not trying to game a system. This is trying to be real with people
00:25:36.990 --> 00:25:57.209 Phyllis Quinlan: is that you know, we're gonna try to make sure we get you discharged on day 19 or day, you know, at the very latest day 20, because we don't want you to incur any partial payments if it's at all avoidable. So we're gonna do our very best. So when somebody comes in and let's say there's a hip replacement.
00:25:57.590 --> 00:26:12.359 Phyllis Quinlan: or there's a stroke, and we want to. Let's get out of bed. Let's get to the you know, to the to the rehab. We're going to have physical therapy. We're going to have occupational therapy, perhaps some speech therapy, and they're like, no, I'm too tired. I'll go tomorrow.
00:26:12.760 --> 00:26:13.490 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:26:13.490 --> 00:26:20.080 Phyllis Quinlan: Well, now, if that's the case, that day may or may not get paid, you have to participate.
00:26:20.210 --> 00:26:27.600 Phyllis Quinlan: The insurance company is not going to pay for that. You have to show up and do the time, or they'll say that you're not cooperating.
00:26:27.700 --> 00:26:32.969 Phyllis Quinlan: and they will cut services. They that's not a decision that the organization will make.
00:26:33.340 --> 00:26:46.170 Phyllis Quinlan: Right? Okay, so and then the the rehabilitation that you receive has to be what we call restorative rehabilitation, meaning, we have to be continually making progress.
00:26:46.590 --> 00:26:54.909 Phyllis Quinlan: and then, when when the situation is such that no more progress can be made, that's when the insurance cuts off.
00:26:56.190 --> 00:27:02.620 Frank R. Harrison: Right. And that's and that's when, even from the perspective of the patient, that's when hospice and or palliative care comes into play.
00:27:02.820 --> 00:27:04.150 Phyllis Quinlan: Not necessarily.
00:27:05.080 --> 00:27:07.619 Frank R. Harrison: Because again, that would be a financial hardship, that if.
00:27:07.620 --> 00:27:12.930 Phyllis Quinlan: No, no, because palliative care means that you're starting to be at end of life
00:27:13.130 --> 00:27:18.329 Phyllis Quinlan: and that you are good. You're taking comfort care measures. You can live with a stroke for 40 years.
00:27:20.790 --> 00:27:22.030 Frank R. Harrison: Okay.
00:27:22.100 --> 00:27:23.889 Frank R. Harrison: alright. So I guess.
00:27:23.890 --> 00:27:30.459 Phyllis Quinlan: No, no, palliative care is is a is when we know that there is no curative
00:27:31.187 --> 00:27:33.010 Phyllis Quinlan: place to go.
00:27:33.010 --> 00:27:33.530 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:27:33.530 --> 00:27:48.010 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay, that what we will do is make sure the person is comfortable. If they get, you know, a cold, we'll treat the cold. If they get a urinary tract infection, we're going to treat the urinary tract infection. Of course we're not going to let them be in pain.
00:27:48.260 --> 00:27:48.630 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:27:48.630 --> 00:27:52.539 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay. So you get you, you get comfort, care.
00:27:52.950 --> 00:27:53.340 Frank R. Harrison: Yes.
00:27:53.340 --> 00:27:57.990 Phyllis Quinlan: We're not going to be aggressively treating anything going forward because
00:27:58.530 --> 00:28:00.110 Phyllis Quinlan: there is no cure.
00:28:01.260 --> 00:28:01.760 Frank R. Harrison: Hmm.
00:28:01.760 --> 00:28:07.550 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay, Hospice is when a physician has determined, with the best medical
00:28:07.660 --> 00:28:12.339 Phyllis Quinlan: knowledge possible, that the person has 6 months or less to live.
00:28:13.970 --> 00:28:17.800 Frank R. Harrison: I see, so that I guess palliative is just.
00:28:17.800 --> 00:28:18.800 Phyllis Quinlan: For years.
00:28:19.040 --> 00:28:26.510 Frank R. Harrison: Correct. So then, Hospice is. I don't want to say the word end of the road, but it is the benchmark. That kind of indicates that all the prep.
00:28:26.510 --> 00:28:54.699 Phyllis Quinlan: You know. So you know our my beloved President Carter, has been on Hospice for 2 years. So there! You know what the physician determines, and what the universe determines is 2 different things, you know. But but what we're what there's the hospice understanding is is that now everything will be comfort. We're not necessarily going to hospitalize. We're not going to do anything aggressive. The person understands that it's comfort and comfort only.
00:28:55.040 --> 00:28:55.350 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:28:55.728 --> 00:29:02.549 Phyllis Quinlan: And and more than likely, you know, there can be spiritual aspects to both palliative and hospice. Care.
00:29:03.165 --> 00:29:06.349 Phyllis Quinlan: But it is. It is a determination.
00:29:06.690 --> 00:29:13.350 Phyllis Quinlan: Alright, that you know. More than likely. Everybody understands that this person.
00:29:13.760 --> 00:29:19.750 Phyllis Quinlan: according to the best medical judgment, has 6 months or less to live. That's the that's the determination for that.
00:29:20.580 --> 00:29:25.580 Frank R. Harrison: Interesting. Well, either way, what I did gather from this segment of the show is that
00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:43.430 Frank R. Harrison: all in all, in order to well, especially for someone like myself. Anyone who's a caregiver or acting in the role of a caregiver should be spending their off time when not caring for the patient, making these kinds of plans and knowing what resources are out there, based on how things progress with the patient.
00:29:43.430 --> 00:29:43.980 Phyllis Quinlan: No.
00:29:44.930 --> 00:29:48.639 Phyllis Quinlan: they should be doing it long before they are a caregiver.
00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:52.469 Frank R. Harrison: Correct, correct, but at the same time, I guess if anything.
00:29:52.550 --> 00:30:04.800 Frank R. Harrison: I mean I have my father's case, for example, which is in itself another show, but we have done all the preparation in advance that here he is at age 93, and he's living a better life now than he was in the last 2 years.
00:30:04.860 --> 00:30:19.980 Frank R. Harrison: but because we were already prepared, but in the case of my cousin nobody expected that the dementia would go as fast as it did only 3 months ago, so that in itself is now educating me, that if I was ever faced with that again.
00:30:20.010 --> 00:30:23.249 Frank R. Harrison: I better be thinking about this now, even though it hasn't even reached that.
00:30:23.250 --> 00:30:29.349 Phyllis Quinlan: So so people also need to understand that, you know. If all of a sudden
00:30:29.470 --> 00:30:37.260 Phyllis Quinlan: somebody in the family needs long-term care. So now we're at the subacute care piece. Restorative care is no longer
00:30:37.659 --> 00:30:47.010 Phyllis Quinlan: restorative. All we can do is maintenance, care, and hope. They don't deteriorate. Given the the new reality of their health, whatever the morbidity is.
00:30:47.590 --> 00:30:51.940 Phyllis Quinlan: But now, where are we going to live? And and how are we going to pay for it.
00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:57.879 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay, so is the person being discharged to home. Are they being discharged to assisted living?
00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:02.419 Phyllis Quinlan: Are they being are they going to become a long-term care resident.
00:31:03.170 --> 00:31:07.800 Phyllis Quinlan: Alright. So now now this is where things can really become
00:31:07.900 --> 00:31:27.839 Phyllis Quinlan: very triggering for families, because they're like, Well, Mom, come over here and sign the house or whatever over here. So we can do this. So so there has to be. People have to take measures because I think the look back period for finance now is 5 years. It might even be longer.
00:31:27.970 --> 00:31:34.769 Phyllis Quinlan: In other words, if you didn't transfer the house to someone else 5 years ago, you can't transfer it now.
00:31:35.717 --> 00:31:51.450 Frank R. Harrison: Well, listen! We're about to take our second break. But now you are knocking on the door of the topic of resources which we will cover. So you can also further discuss what you were just saying about the 5 year waiting period for house, transfer and ship. All right. That all being, said everybody. We'll be back in a few.
00:33:55.550 --> 00:34:00.680 Frank R. Harrison: Everybody and welcome back. Now is the time we talk about the resources.
00:34:00.730 --> 00:34:16.429 Frank R. Harrison: the resources that are out there for everyone. That is a caregiver that maybe you're not aware of, or that you can learn more about. And one such resource is the organization that brought me and Phyllis together, to begin with, which was the share, the care organization.
00:34:16.570 --> 00:34:29.380 Frank R. Harrison: Now I have a picture of the book, but I have to actually download it and then switch the screen. So you can all see it. But it basically. I mean, Phyllis, why don't you talk about share the care.
00:34:29.380 --> 00:34:37.673 Phyllis Quinlan: Sure it's in the chat. Okay? So the share. The care organization is a not for profit organization founded by Sheila Warnick.
00:34:38.090 --> 00:34:46.610 Phyllis Quinlan: And it came about because one of her dear. 1st of all, she she found herself in a situation
00:34:46.659 --> 00:34:57.313 Phyllis Quinlan: where she was going to be the sole caregiver of her mother and her mother. had a lot of different needs. And
00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:00.459 Phyllis Quinlan: You know it. It. It was
00:35:00.540 --> 00:35:04.626 Phyllis Quinlan: all consuming. Sheila had to leave her
00:35:05.920 --> 00:35:11.250 Phyllis Quinlan: her profession of marketing, and and really devote herself to the care of her mom.
00:35:11.957 --> 00:35:17.872 Phyllis Quinlan: Her mom. Then passed, and Sheila found herself
00:35:18.650 --> 00:35:34.719 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, and it with a group of friends being called in by a a physician to talk about one of her friends, and her friend was really in need of care, and there was about 15 people
00:35:34.780 --> 00:35:39.900 Phyllis Quinlan: in this meeting. Fortunately this woman had so many colleagues and friends.
00:35:39.940 --> 00:35:45.229 Phyllis Quinlan: and the decision was, you know, how are we going to support?
00:35:45.350 --> 00:35:53.359 Phyllis Quinlan: I don't remember her name, I'm going to say, Ann. So how are we going to support Ann? And at that point in that living room. In that discussion with the physician.
00:35:53.420 --> 00:36:01.359 Phyllis Quinlan: share the care, at least the model for share. The care was born where everybody decided they could not necessarily do physical care.
00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:12.690 Phyllis Quinlan: but they could do something, and whether that was shopping or transporting, or mowing a lawn or making appointments. There was a you know the
00:36:12.720 --> 00:36:17.720 Phyllis Quinlan: the whole idea of it takes a village to keep someone at home and and and care for them. Well.
00:36:17.780 --> 00:36:30.770 Phyllis Quinlan: right in a brilliant, a stroke of brilliance they decided to have care. Captains and care captains were rotated on a weekly basis, so that who was ever in charge of coordinating things
00:36:30.770 --> 00:36:48.370 Phyllis Quinlan: was never overburdened, and was able to coordinate, and whatever was done, and then the following week, it was someone else's turn to do that. So you might be the care Captain. Oh, I don't know. Once every 6 weeks, once every 8 weeks, depending on how many people are working with this
00:36:48.390 --> 00:37:00.379 Phyllis Quinlan: and with that concept in mind, Sheila decided to memorialize the share, the care model in this book, and she is currently working on an updated edition
00:37:01.180 --> 00:37:11.919 Phyllis Quinlan: book, and she. She crisscrosses the country, and in some cases goes out of the country to talk about the model and the need for being able to organize groups to care for someone
00:37:12.090 --> 00:37:22.880 Phyllis Quinlan: who is in need of care in the community being cared for by a family caregiver, and the share the care is not just to support the person
00:37:22.980 --> 00:37:49.499 Phyllis Quinlan: in need of care. It is really directed at supporting the person who's the family caregiver, so that person does not become overwhelmed, and that their health doesn't suffer for it in the long run, and that there is a sense, and nobody comes socially isolated, so that you know everybody feels there's still a sense of community and everything else. It is an incredible story. The book is very easy to follow.
00:37:49.540 --> 00:38:01.660 Phyllis Quinlan: and it really is a wonderful way for people to not think of. How are we going to do this? This book actually gives you a step-by-step guide of how you can do it.
00:38:02.114 --> 00:38:19.399 Phyllis Quinlan: And and that it's tried and true, you know. It's evidenced informed. It's been researched and you know, it's been shown to be truly helpful and to decrease the the stress or the perceived stress level on the on the family caregiver without
00:38:19.590 --> 00:38:26.770 Phyllis Quinlan: while still maintaining the person safely in the community. Now, what's important to understand is, if the person is no longer
00:38:27.040 --> 00:38:40.609 Phyllis Quinlan: capable of being cared for in the community, for whatever reason their their disease or their their condition deteriorates, they have to go into a longer term, care, facility, be that assisted living, or or more
00:38:41.003 --> 00:38:45.809 Phyllis Quinlan: the share, the care group can still be that person's socialization and can still.
00:38:45.810 --> 00:38:46.240 Frank R. Harrison: Yeah.
00:38:46.240 --> 00:39:00.580 Phyllis Quinlan: Family members socialization, so they may not be involved in any of the care. They're no longer mowing a lawn because the person's in a nursing home, or they're no longer taking care of the banking. They're no longer doing their share to share the care role.
00:39:00.630 --> 00:39:25.650 Phyllis Quinlan: but they are just there as friends and extended family and a social community for both, the family caregiver supporting them, and the person who might be in the assisted living or long term care facility. At that point. It's just an incredible model. And it's something that I think you know any adult child of aging parents would do well to pick up a copy of the book.
00:39:25.760 --> 00:39:36.029 Phyllis Quinlan: and at least start to become familiar with the realities of what caring for aging parents might hold for you for the future.
00:39:36.280 --> 00:39:42.440 Frank R. Harrison: Oh, I I could tell you obviously firsthand, when we 1st had our panel 2 years ago
00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:50.010 Frank R. Harrison: and discussed the whole share the care panel. I mean not the the share, the care community that I think you're a member of their board as well.
00:39:50.140 --> 00:40:11.150 Frank R. Harrison: It was serving me well with my father, and now my mother, who has a home health aide, seeing her 5 days a week to help her with her burnout over caring for my father. So it's not the same model directly, but it's the same mindset where we were working with the existing Medicaid system that they were eligible. For
00:40:11.210 --> 00:40:19.844 Frank R. Harrison: to have people come in and help share the care with me as well as with my father and mother, or vice versa. But
00:40:20.510 --> 00:40:48.360 Phyllis Quinlan: So I know we're talking about resources. And you know, definitely, we want to promote, you know, the the wisdom that is contained in the book share the care. But you know I very much want the listeners to be to feel self empowered, to reach out to an elder attorney, to talk about wills, and to talk about advanced directives, to talk about powers of attorney and durable powers of attorney, and understand exactly
00:40:48.420 --> 00:40:57.149 Phyllis Quinlan: what is the reality of all of those laws and and policies that are in place in their specific states, because it can.
00:40:57.430 --> 00:41:08.295 Phyllis Quinlan: It can change from state to state, so that you have a a sense of preparedness. You know, perhaps. The. In some cases.
00:41:08.800 --> 00:41:15.129 Phyllis Quinlan: you can put every you can put a property and everything or all the assets into a trust
00:41:15.370 --> 00:41:19.980 Phyllis Quinlan: in some cases that trust will protect you from that 5 year rule
00:41:20.360 --> 00:41:32.359 Phyllis Quinlan: that I referenced before. But you need to have a you know, an attorney guide you and step. You know by step by step as to what things are available to you and what are not.
00:41:32.660 --> 00:41:33.310 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:41:33.310 --> 00:41:50.069 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay. So you know, really important to understand what medicare part A pays for and what it doesn't. What is medicare part B, do I need a supplement on top of that, and, you know, is long term care insurance, something we should invest in now.
00:41:51.840 --> 00:41:58.279 Phyllis Quinlan: and and again, you know, no one can make those decisions for individuals. It's a it's a family decision.
00:41:58.967 --> 00:42:04.616 Phyllis Quinlan: So that you know. And I've I have heard of cases, and I I don't know if
00:42:05.070 --> 00:42:22.319 Phyllis Quinlan: if this is common practice or not, but I have heard of cases where you know the children are all adults and the the the the elder parents have a life insurance policy, and and what they do is, you know, because the life you know the life insurance is.
00:42:22.360 --> 00:42:36.829 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, making sure that the kids get through college, and all of that, should anything happen to them. But now everybody's up and running and independent, you know is, is there? Is it possible to convert that life insurance into long-term care insurance? These are questions that you have to ask an attorney?
00:42:36.920 --> 00:42:39.900 Phyllis Quinlan: These are questions that you don't want to Google.
00:42:39.970 --> 00:42:52.460 Phyllis Quinlan: You do not want to just go to Youtube and try to tool up on these things. Ask a professional. What are my options, and make sure that certain safety nets are in place, or certain
00:42:52.480 --> 00:43:08.320 Phyllis Quinlan: processes are in place, so that you know if and when the time comes, and more than likely, if and when is coming, I mean, we're all going to become frail. We're all going to, you know, decline at some point, we're all going to need care at some point.
00:43:08.652 --> 00:43:14.479 Phyllis Quinlan: So how are we going to pay for that? And how is that going to happen? And what is that going to look like
00:43:14.490 --> 00:43:17.420 Phyllis Quinlan: and have those conversations?
00:43:18.218 --> 00:43:25.135 Phyllis Quinlan: You know. Make sure there's a will in place. Make sure there are advanced directives. Now there is a
00:43:26.240 --> 00:43:41.880 Phyllis Quinlan: a form that can be picked up at any hospital or any long-term care facility, and sometimes they're even in the doctor's offices that you can. You can inquire if you take, you know, go to for a doctor's appointment, and it's called a molst.
00:43:41.880 --> 00:43:56.779 Phyllis Quinlan: MOLS. T. It's pink. It's pink for a reason, because we want it to stand out, and people can put their hands on it right away. But a most is medical orders for life, sustaining treatment. That's the acronym.
00:43:57.925 --> 00:43:58.350 Frank R. Harrison: Very.
00:43:58.350 --> 00:44:06.949 Phyllis Quinlan: So this is where you sit down as a family, and it go walks you right through it. Do you want to have Cpr. Yes or no?
00:44:07.780 --> 00:44:11.209 Phyllis Quinlan: Do you want to be on a ventilator? Yes or no?
00:44:11.410 --> 00:44:17.210 Phyllis Quinlan: Do you want to have artificial feeding? In other words, a feeding tube? Yes or no?
00:44:18.100 --> 00:44:18.720 Frank R. Harrison: Interesting.
00:44:18.720 --> 00:44:29.030 Phyllis Quinlan: Would you want Iv fluids? Yes or no? Do you want dialysis? Yes or no? It walks you through all of these things.
00:44:29.050 --> 00:44:36.710 Phyllis Quinlan: and it makes it very clear. While the person is still able to have this all important discussion.
00:44:37.320 --> 00:44:45.580 Phyllis Quinlan: And it gives them the ability to memorialize their wishes for self-determination, what they want and what they don't want.
00:44:45.690 --> 00:44:53.599 Phyllis Quinlan: And if you do that while the person is still able to do that, and then it's signed. It's it's it's it's signed, and of course it's witnessed
00:44:53.690 --> 00:44:56.309 Phyllis Quinlan: right, and then you have it.
00:44:56.390 --> 00:44:57.580 Phyllis Quinlan: then
00:44:57.620 --> 00:45:00.010 Phyllis Quinlan: you know it. It stops.
00:45:00.990 --> 00:45:21.969 Phyllis Quinlan: I think some of the most heartbreaking things we see is, when is when we a decision has to be made about a parent, and the kids don't agree. Now we're talking about adult children don't agree, all right, or the one person who's never visited all of a sudden shows up, and now they've got a ton to say, you know, with the families are families right.
00:45:22.170 --> 00:45:22.590 Frank R. Harrison: Exactly.
00:45:22.590 --> 00:45:27.529 Phyllis Quinlan: It's so much easier for the person who's calling the shots, because they're the
00:45:27.590 --> 00:45:31.119 Phyllis Quinlan: healthcare proxy or power of attorney
00:45:31.360 --> 00:45:51.219 Phyllis Quinlan: to be able to say, with a sense of confidence and and peace of mind, to say, These are their wishes. We had this conversation. I am not pulling this out of the air. I had that hard conversation, you know, he or she sat with me, and we had this discussion. And this is what they want.
00:45:51.320 --> 00:45:56.549 Phyllis Quinlan: My role is just to ensure what they want actually happens.
00:45:56.930 --> 00:46:02.420 Phyllis Quinlan: And that nobody else puts their judgment on it or their
00:46:02.880 --> 00:46:07.319 Phyllis Quinlan: parental issues on it, or their sibling issues on it.
00:46:07.630 --> 00:46:15.269 Phyllis Quinlan: We will take care of that as a family, but for now this is what Mom or dad or grandma wanted.
00:46:15.310 --> 00:46:33.760 Phyllis Quinlan: as she, you know, she told us, and we wrote this down. And now this is something that we've given the physician. We have it. We carry it with us all the time. We give it to the physician. We. When she gets admitted to the hospital, we take it to the hospital, and now it becomes part of her medical record.
00:46:33.965 --> 00:46:34.170 Frank R. Harrison: Hmm.
00:46:34.170 --> 00:46:39.739 Phyllis Quinlan: And it doesn't have to be questioned, because we know it's the person's wishes.
00:46:40.010 --> 00:46:47.339 Frank R. Harrison: Exactly. Well, we have to take our final break, and then I also wanted to wrap up some of the things that you just said, because I
00:46:47.360 --> 00:47:09.049 Frank R. Harrison: have a whole host of questions, but I could see we already went a little bit over time, but we have about 10 min when we return to wrap up and also advocate, I guess, letting you know what I will be doing to help with my situation a lot based on what you told me in July, as well as what you covered on this show. So thank you again, Phyllis, and everybody. Just please stay tuned. We'll be back in a few.
00:49:13.680 --> 00:49:19.360 Frank R. Harrison: Hey, everybody, and welcome back. One question that came to me before we went on the last break was
00:49:19.650 --> 00:49:31.899 Frank R. Harrison: being that caregivers have such a high propensity of burning out. Should one of the considerations of whether or not an individual needs long-term care, insurance would be the caregiver him or herself. First, st
00:49:32.060 --> 00:49:34.950 Frank R. Harrison: because I can imagine the burnout actually
00:49:35.100 --> 00:49:36.550 Frank R. Harrison: can really
00:49:36.630 --> 00:49:42.750 Frank R. Harrison: lead to probably some comorbidities that you don't anticipate, so may want to be prepared for that as well.
00:49:42.800 --> 00:49:49.219 Phyllis Quinlan: That. Yeah, that that is a discussion between you, the patient, the caregiver, the patient, and the physician.
00:49:50.080 --> 00:49:50.560 Frank R. Harrison: Hmm.
00:49:50.560 --> 00:49:55.159 Phyllis Quinlan: Okay, because there is qualifications for that, and we certainly don't want to.
00:49:55.380 --> 00:50:00.860 Phyllis Quinlan: You. You know you don't want to be in a position where anybody thinks you're forcing something on it.
00:50:00.860 --> 00:50:01.260 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:50:01.260 --> 00:50:07.340 Phyllis Quinlan: You know we've had, we? We have done programs where people have been misplaced into long-term care facilities.
00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:23.289 Phyllis Quinlan: And you know, that's kind of like false imprisonment. You don't want to have that. And and and the other pieces is, I've certainly seen situations where the elder is pretty much landlocked in their own home. They're not capable of going into the neighborhood.
00:50:23.380 --> 00:50:30.590 Phyllis Quinlan: They're not capable of getting to religious services, you know. They maybe watch services on the TV or something along those lines.
00:50:30.790 --> 00:50:40.880 Phyllis Quinlan: and you know they start to realize there there might be socialization and interaction and recreation in a long-term care facility. Maybe it's time for me to go there.
00:50:41.650 --> 00:50:48.730 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, or you'd be surprised how many people will come in for subacute care. Short term, rehab.
00:50:49.910 --> 00:51:08.010 Phyllis Quinlan: And enjoy it, and because they weren't socializing before, you know, it was the TV. And maybe you know meals on wheels, or maybe a caregiver set up, you know, did some meals or something, but it was essentially a fairly lonely, isolated life, and now they're in the long term care, facility, and
00:51:08.160 --> 00:51:15.500 Phyllis Quinlan: and really having a very different quality of life where it's similar to when they were younger and more healthy.
00:51:15.510 --> 00:51:25.389 Phyllis Quinlan: Before. I forget, Frank, I do want to also say to your listeners, don't forget. If people are veterans, there are veterans, benefits that you need to investigate.
00:51:25.670 --> 00:51:26.120 Frank R. Harrison: Yes.
00:51:26.120 --> 00:51:48.010 Phyllis Quinlan: You have to make sure. You want to make sure that if the person has served our country that they are entitled to, you know certain veterans benefits. And again, this is something where you know an attorney who is versed in legal things, especially an elder attorney, can do some research and make sure that whatever that person is entitled to
00:51:48.160 --> 00:51:54.910 Phyllis Quinlan: they get. So so I've met so many elders that are having trouble paying for their prescription drugs.
00:51:55.020 --> 00:52:03.670 Phyllis Quinlan: they can get their prescription drugs through the Va. They just need to do the proper paperwork and have the proper examinations by the Va. Physicians.
00:52:03.720 --> 00:52:17.129 Phyllis Quinlan: and then all of a sudden. It's a lot less of a financial burden to get their medications, and they can still stay at home because they have that much more money, so homework, homework, homework, preparation, preparation, preparation. I cannot
00:52:17.510 --> 00:52:18.969 Phyllis Quinlan: stated enough.
00:52:19.530 --> 00:52:25.569 Frank R. Harrison: Correct, correct. I totally agree. You know the irony is is that when I listen to the review that you just gave in the last segment.
00:52:25.640 --> 00:52:34.960 Frank R. Harrison: I think I've done most of that over the past year. For example, I went and saw an elder attorney last September, and I designated power of attorney to her sister.
00:52:35.490 --> 00:52:55.039 Frank R. Harrison: Because of her out of state condition at the present time I became her delegate, meaning, I just do what she can't do out of distance, and it was just continuing my role as healthcare proxy, which was a no brainer, but at the same time also working with her son, who's a cdpap worker to get her medications
00:52:55.040 --> 00:53:07.339 Frank R. Harrison: to help with the doctor's appointments if necessary, but totally what was not planned for by anybody, including myself, was her decline to the point where she can't even communicate a complete sentence anymore, you know, and that
00:53:07.480 --> 00:53:10.670 Frank R. Harrison: totally was a shock on many levels that when.
00:53:10.670 --> 00:53:33.289 Phyllis Quinlan: It wasn't just that, Frank, you know. It wasn't just her total decline. It was other family members who were more next of kin reluctance to step up and dependence on you. So you were starting to become. And it happens a lot, because there's always that good person and that good person can get abused if you don't have those healthy boundaries.
00:53:33.490 --> 00:53:33.820 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:53:34.165 --> 00:53:40.719 Phyllis Quinlan: That good person that you know can't even fathom, not stepping up. And then you're actually taking care of
00:53:41.430 --> 00:53:46.219 Phyllis Quinlan: the person, and then you're taking care of the person who should be taking care of the person.
00:53:46.776 --> 00:53:47.490 Frank R. Harrison: And then.
00:53:47.490 --> 00:53:54.149 Phyllis Quinlan: That's what you found yourself in. And in this particular case, more than one person who was responsible for that person.
00:53:54.360 --> 00:54:04.759 Phyllis Quinlan: And you know, phone calls needed to happen. You were you were putting in hours of work. This wasn't just being a good guy, just in case something had to happen. And I couldn't get
00:54:04.870 --> 00:54:06.230 Phyllis Quinlan: couldn't get there.
00:54:06.280 --> 00:54:09.329 Phyllis Quinlan: You relied on inappropriately.
00:54:09.960 --> 00:54:10.360 Frank R. Harrison: Yes.
00:54:10.360 --> 00:54:21.100 Phyllis Quinlan: And you know, and and here's something I just want to say. Whether you are a professional or a family caregiver. You are among the most generous people on the planet.
00:54:21.430 --> 00:54:50.150 Phyllis Quinlan: There are those people who can episodically be good. Everybody, you know, will bring food when somebody dies or flowers when somebody's ill help, somebody change a tire shovel, somebody's sidewalk. You have these heroic people who pull people out of burning cars, but that that's not family and professional caregivers, family and professional caregivers have actually said, I'll make it part of my life to be in the service of this person who needs me right now
00:54:50.230 --> 00:55:03.690 Phyllis Quinlan: whether I'm related to them or not. I'm going to do this, and that makes you among the most extraordinary generous people on the planet. That compassionate heart is a gift from the universe, and it's up to you to protect it
00:55:03.780 --> 00:55:10.259 Phyllis Quinlan: and not to get kicked around, used and abused because it's it's almost
00:55:10.980 --> 00:55:15.810 Phyllis Quinlan: disrespective to the disrespectful to the universe. If you
00:55:15.840 --> 00:55:18.110 Phyllis Quinlan: neglect a gift of.
00:55:18.110 --> 00:55:20.290 Frank R. Harrison: Yes, so I'm a firm believer in that.
00:55:20.290 --> 00:55:37.970 Phyllis Quinlan: Have those healthy boundaries you want to know. Be very clear with yourself what you can do and what you can't do be very clear in in conversations about what I thought I could do. I can no longer do because of competing priorities with my own immediate family.
00:55:38.230 --> 00:55:45.269 Phyllis Quinlan: and and say, I will continue to do this for the next month, while you either make another.
00:55:45.933 --> 00:55:50.790 Phyllis Quinlan: While the while you either take up the slack or you make a different arrangement.
00:55:51.310 --> 00:55:51.930 Frank R. Harrison: Right.
00:55:52.390 --> 00:55:57.400 Phyllis Quinlan: But don't you know you have to be very clear about what you can do, or you can find yourself.
00:55:57.780 --> 00:56:01.269 Phyllis Quinlan: you know, just really hitting your head against the wall, and
00:56:01.370 --> 00:56:06.789 Phyllis Quinlan: and and shutting down that wonderful, beautiful, compassionate nature that the world needs.
00:56:07.120 --> 00:56:07.860 Frank R. Harrison: Yes.
00:56:08.090 --> 00:56:18.750 Frank R. Harrison: Well, that all being said, we're about to end the show. But I want to summarize a few things that you, said, Phyllis, as well as let everyone know of what's coming on in the future. 1st of all.
00:56:18.810 --> 00:56:45.470 Frank R. Harrison: my healthy boundaries were sustained by doing this show, so I thank everyone who's been following along, especially over the last 10 months, or especially during the time I was off for 9 weeks, one of the things and resources that I discovered. We just had a preview from Phyllis about the share, the care organization. But I was trying to exercise my own spiritual well-being in order to avoid any potential breakdown from the burnout, not to mention I do have epilepsy.
00:56:45.470 --> 00:56:58.570 Frank R. Harrison: and so be it. I didn't even have a seizure throughout all of this, so I'm still surviving on that. But I've discovered this book the power of now, which I know Sam has mentioned many times. I think you, Phyllis have mentioned it, as well.
00:56:58.985 --> 00:56:59.400 Phyllis Quinlan: Yeah.
00:56:59.400 --> 00:57:04.249 Frank R. Harrison: Yes, Evan, Messman has mentioned it. Danielle Swanson has mentioned it. Aretha Gray has mentioned it
00:57:04.290 --> 00:57:05.550 Frank R. Harrison: overall.
00:57:05.620 --> 00:57:24.140 Frank R. Harrison: I have read this book as well. If you can see clearly by Eckhart Tolle has been my Bible to get me through the summertime. Now that all being said, I just want to now introduce a new show that is joining the network 2 Wednesdays from now it's called the A Train to Sedona
00:57:24.150 --> 00:57:26.210 Frank R. Harrison: by Linda
00:57:27.180 --> 00:57:33.129 Frank R. Harrison: Marsonico. The reason why I'm mentioning that is because she will be my guest on next week's episode of Frank about health.
00:57:33.250 --> 00:57:47.909 Frank R. Harrison: as it won't serve as a pilot like I did with Dr. Mira Branku, but it will serve as an introduction to what you will all experience on talkradio dot Nyc. Starting on Wednesday, the 23.rd Now then, I will be back again on the 24th
00:57:47.970 --> 00:58:02.509 Frank R. Harrison: with another special guest who's going to talk about soul something that I very rarely talk about. But it was what helped him get over addiction and other kinds of psychological traumas and stuff.
00:58:02.510 --> 00:58:19.700 Frank R. Harrison: And then I have a very big surprise guest on Halloween the 31, st which I will leave nameless, for now, because a I have to confirm it, and B. Because it is a returning guest that I have wanted so badly, and I thought I wasn't going to see for like another 6 months, but that all being said
00:58:19.760 --> 00:58:28.110 Frank R. Harrison: also recall that tomorrow's episode of shows is Tommy D. Always Friday. I'm sorry. No philanthropy and focus with Tommy D.
00:58:28.120 --> 00:58:34.560 Frank R. Harrison: And then, after next Tuesday, with the hard skills as well as with nourish the soul.
00:58:34.860 --> 00:58:42.720 Frank R. Harrison: you will see the conscious, consultant hour, mind, body, health, and politics, and then I will be back again.
00:58:42.860 --> 00:58:53.409 Frank R. Harrison: And more importantly, Phyllis, I know you'll be back again soon we'll have to figure out when that is but I I did actually want to say all your talk about finances and stuff
00:58:53.450 --> 00:58:57.880 Frank R. Harrison: when we were co-hosting together. Last year you mentioned a man named Ian Kansky.
00:58:57.940 --> 00:59:03.029 Frank R. Harrison: Maybe that's someone we could co-host together to talk about all the financials and preparations of things
00:59:03.520 --> 00:59:07.220 Frank R. Harrison: if if you if you recall his name, he's a financial retirement.
00:59:08.010 --> 00:59:17.100 Frank R. Harrison: Okay? Good. Good. So I'm I'm just trying to plan the shows in advance for everybody, because I will be taking another holiday hiatus in time for releasing
00:59:17.180 --> 00:59:24.319 Frank R. Harrison: my special documentary summarizing how important it is not just to be a caregiver, but to also be an advocate.
00:59:24.390 --> 00:59:30.009 Frank R. Harrison: All right, everybody. Thanks for being here on today's episode of Frank about health again. Thank you, Phyllis, for everything.
00:59:30.020 --> 00:59:33.870 Frank R. Harrison: Share the care is available on amazon.com, or wherever books are sold.
00:59:34.150 --> 00:59:35.679 Frank R. Harrison: as well as
00:59:35.960 --> 00:59:39.740 Frank R. Harrison: the power of now. Okay, everybody see you next week. Take care.
00:59:39.740 --> 00:59:40.300 Phyllis Quinlan: Bye.
Talking Alternative Broadcasting
392 Central Park West Suite 17R - New York, NY 10025
Privacy Policy · Terms & Conditions
Thank You for Visiting TALKRADIO.NYC © 2022.
