Tuesdays: 5:00pm - 6:00pm (EST)
EPISODE SUMMARY:
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
We often talk about self-care at a surface level. We have images of drinking latte's, taking baths, and silent retreats. But that is the full picture of self-care at work and for your leadership. How can you support true wellbeing at work? That's what we'll be delving into in this episode.
Well-being at work is more than yoga classes and mental health days. Our daily actions as leaders have an outsized impact on employee well-being. In this episode we'll explore how to care for yourself as a leader and how to lead employees towards well-being, using Taylor Elyse Morrison's CARE framework (Being communicative, aware, receptive + responsive, ecosystems thinkers).
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ABOUT OUR GUEST:
Taylor Elyse Morrison turned being bad at self-care—and being firmly convinced of every human’s potential—into a career. She’s the founder of Inner Workout, and the award-winning author of a book by the same name. Recently named one of Fortune’s 10 Innovators Shaping the Future of Health, Taylor is tired of aspirational 'wellness as usual.' Instead, she makes well-being and personal development more accessible. You're just as likely to see Taylor facilitating a workshop at a Fortune 100 as you are to see her talking about TikTok and body image with a high school class. Wherever she goes, Taylor's sure to use her coaching, mindfulness, and movement training to meet people where they're at and offer actionable steps towards creating a world without burnout.
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS EPISODE, CAN I ASK A FAVOR?
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LINKS MENTIONED IN EPISODE:
Guest LinkedIn Profile: https://linkedin.com/in/taylorelysemorrison
Guest Websites: https://innerworkout.co
https://taylorelyse.com
Our website: www.gotowerscope.com
#SelfCare #Wellbeing #LeadershipImpact #TeamImpact #EmployeeHealth
Tune in for this empowering conversation at TalkRadio.nyc
00:00:41.870 --> 00:00:56.489 Mira Brancu: Welcome welcome to the hard skills show where we discuss how to develop the nuanced hard skills meaning the most challenging soft skills needed to make a real impact through your leadership. Now, what are we talking about today?
00:00:56.540 --> 00:00:59.660 Mira Brancu: Well, we're talking about well-being at work
00:00:59.670 --> 00:01:01.880 Mira Brancu: and wellbeing at work
00:01:02.060 --> 00:01:09.000 Mira Brancu: is frankly, as you know, as you should know, more than just Yoga classes and mental health days.
00:01:09.130 --> 00:01:11.090 Mira Brancu: Right? Our daily actions
00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:21.160 Mira Brancu: as leaders have an outsized impact on employee well-being, and in this episode we'll explore how to care for yourself as a leader
00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:25.610 Mira Brancu: and how to lead employees toward well-being.
00:01:25.640 --> 00:01:37.379 Mira Brancu: Using our guest framework. Taylor Elise Morrison is our guest today. Her framework is care. CARE. And that's what we're going to be discussing in this episode. And
00:01:37.610 --> 00:01:40.479 Mira Brancu: I think that it's a really nice
00:01:41.250 --> 00:01:48.779 Mira Brancu: way to focus on making a greater impact in Season 5. And you might be wondering.
00:01:49.090 --> 00:02:03.140 Mira Brancu: how does self care and making a greater impact as a leader connect. We'll also be taking a little bit of a look at that as well. So I'm your host, Dr. Mira Bronco. I'm a leadership consulting and coaching psychologist.
00:02:03.140 --> 00:02:20.029 Mira Brancu: founder of the Tower Scope Leadership Academy, an associate professor, a psychology today columnist, author of Millennials, guide to workplace politics and had my own leadership career before transitioning to helping teams and high achieving women navigate their leadership complexities.
00:02:20.500 --> 00:02:25.129 Mira Brancu: Okay, let me introduce also to you, Taylor. Elise Morrison Taylor is
00:02:25.150 --> 00:02:31.230 Mira Brancu: turned turned from being bad at self care to being great at self care.
00:02:31.270 --> 00:02:35.779 Mira Brancu: She's firmly convinced of every human's potential.
00:02:36.110 --> 00:02:39.649 Mira Brancu: and she's now turned that into a career.
00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:51.800 Mira Brancu: How do you combine human potential self care and outcomes for all leaders? So she's the founder of inner workout. I love the name of that company and book.
00:02:51.870 --> 00:02:54.879 Mira Brancu: the award-winning author of a book by the same title.
00:02:55.170 --> 00:03:00.259 Mira Brancu: recently named, one of Fortune, 10 s. Innovators shaping the future of health.
00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:01.660 Mira Brancu: Taylor is
00:03:01.740 --> 00:03:05.700 Mira Brancu: tired of aspirational wellness as usual.
00:03:05.730 --> 00:03:09.460 Mira Brancu: Instead, she makes well-being and personal development more accessible.
00:03:09.570 --> 00:03:19.030 Mira Brancu: You're just as likely to see her facilitating a workshop at a fortune 100 as you are to see her talking about Tiktok and body image with a high school class
00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:26.830 Mira Brancu: wherever she goes, tellers sure to use her coaching, mindfulness and movement training to meet people where they are.
00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:30.280 Mira Brancu: and offer actionable steps towards creating a world
00:03:30.330 --> 00:03:31.570 Mira Brancu: without burnout.
00:03:31.760 --> 00:03:34.239 Mira Brancu: welcome and great, to have you on the show, Taylor?
00:03:35.450 --> 00:03:37.990 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Thank you so much for having me. I'm glad to be here.
00:03:37.990 --> 00:03:56.439 Mira Brancu: Yeah, absolutely. So we're gonna have a really interesting conversation, a much more in depth conversation about self care than I think most of you are you know, exposed to. And, Taylor, what would you like people to take away big picture here before we get started? What do you want them to take away from today.
00:03:56.790 --> 00:03:58.020 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah, I think there's
00:03:58.070 --> 00:04:05.140 Taylor Elyse Morrison: 2 big takeaways. So first, st I want leaders to take away something that they can do to better care for themselves.
00:04:05.180 --> 00:04:18.820 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and if nothing else, I hope that you leave with an expanded idea of what self care could look like one of the things I come up against whether I'm speaking or working with leaders. One on one is this idea that, like they
00:04:18.870 --> 00:04:22.640 Taylor Elyse Morrison: can't fit self-care into their life. And I really want to challenge that
00:04:22.810 --> 00:04:30.349 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the second piece that I hope that people take away is an expanded perspective of what it looks like to support their team's well-being.
00:04:30.440 --> 00:04:34.309 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Again, as I'm working with people. We
00:04:34.350 --> 00:04:42.799 Taylor Elyse Morrison: are really quick to implement a program, something, one off, something that we can outsource elsewhere. But when
00:04:42.910 --> 00:04:53.479 Taylor Elyse Morrison: you look at the research, and when you talk to employees, the things that are impacting their well-being, not all of them, but more than you would think are within your
00:04:54.510 --> 00:04:57.320 Taylor Elyse Morrison: sphere of influence, I'll say, to impact.
00:04:58.510 --> 00:04:59.890 Mira Brancu: Very interesting
00:05:00.740 --> 00:05:02.890 Mira Brancu: excited to touch on all of these.
00:05:02.960 --> 00:05:04.093 Mira Brancu: and so
00:05:05.570 --> 00:05:15.330 Mira Brancu: tell us a little bit about your own journey, like, how did you get to be? Have an interest in this? You've had a lot of different experiences working with companies. How did you get to this point?
00:05:15.770 --> 00:05:42.790 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah, it really came from a place of need. So I started my career at all state a fortune 100 in a leadership development program, and I saw a lot of how people led well, but also things that I didn't want to emulate. I distinctly remember watching directors and Vps have to work over a holiday weekend, and I thought, oh, so the way things are set up right now.
00:05:43.080 --> 00:05:45.319 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I'm supposed to aspire to be like them.
00:05:45.330 --> 00:05:46.820 Taylor Elyse Morrison: but they are
00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:57.409 Taylor Elyse Morrison: on the edge of Burnout. They're having to sacrifice sending, spending time with their loved ones. And it wasn't something that I I wanted. So I left I joined a startup
00:05:57.700 --> 00:06:04.600 Taylor Elyse Morrison: focused on health and wellness, and I was their 1st full time employee and their Vp. Of operations. I
00:06:04.770 --> 00:06:10.299 Taylor Elyse Morrison: learned so much in that role. I, also, on the side, was
00:06:10.360 --> 00:06:16.939 Taylor Elyse Morrison: doing a brand strategy company, was volunteering with multiple nonprofit organizations, was getting married, was trying.
00:06:16.940 --> 00:06:17.280 Mira Brancu: And have.
00:06:17.280 --> 00:06:26.209 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Social life. I had a lot going on, and I that was the 1st time I really really felt myself get close to burnout
00:06:26.990 --> 00:06:31.144 Taylor Elyse Morrison: fast forward through some other career shifts, working at
00:06:31.980 --> 00:06:38.580 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Owned by Allstate, and eventually transitioning into what is now my portfolio career.
00:06:39.370 --> 00:07:08.289 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I kept coming up against this sense that I was doing what I was quote unquote, supposed to do in terms of, I'd get a massage every once in a while. I would go to Yoga class every week, and yet those things weren't changing the fact that I was teetering on the edge of burnout, and the more I started working through my own burnout and talking about it, the more I heard that other people were having really similar problems, and that turned into inner workout.
00:07:08.723 --> 00:07:17.729 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Also a lot of training and doing, getting other support so that I could support other people through it. But yeah, I come at this work through
00:07:18.130 --> 00:07:22.550 Taylor Elyse Morrison: a place of need, and I feel really grateful to get to do this work, because
00:07:22.640 --> 00:07:26.670 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I'm constantly having to use the tools that I'm sharing with other people.
00:07:27.160 --> 00:07:31.950 Mira Brancu: Yeah. Let let's take it at that individual level. Why
00:07:31.970 --> 00:07:33.039 Mira Brancu: is it
00:07:33.220 --> 00:07:36.850 Mira Brancu: that what was the disconnect between
00:07:37.380 --> 00:07:43.119 Mira Brancu: trying to do all of the right things. The yoga, the massage like taking care of yourself.
00:07:43.970 --> 00:07:52.989 Mira Brancu: Why do you feel like that? Wasn't working, or it wasn't attacking the right thing to help you minimize burnout. What do you think was a disconnect.
00:07:53.710 --> 00:08:17.110 Taylor Elyse Morrison: A couple of things here. So the biggest, the 1st shift that happened for me is that I changed the way I was defining self care. So if you would have asked me, I don't know. In 2,015 I would have told you that self care was like treating yourself like I saw in Parks and Rec. You have a treat yourself day. You spend a bunch of money. You do nice things for yourself, which is great. I still love to treat myself.
00:08:17.110 --> 00:08:27.140 Taylor Elyse Morrison: but the definition that I use, and that we use an inner workout is that self care is listening within and responding in the most loving way possible. So I really shifted from self care.
00:08:27.140 --> 00:08:38.700 Taylor Elyse Morrison: being something on my to do list, and honestly, something that kept getting pushed to the bottom of my to do list into an ongoing conversation with myself, where I started to realize there was
00:08:38.710 --> 00:08:45.789 Taylor Elyse Morrison: always something that I could do if I was willing to listen, and I was willing to respond, using the time and resources that I had.
00:08:45.810 --> 00:08:49.770 Taylor Elyse Morrison: There were ways to care for myself that I wasn't doing before
00:08:49.790 --> 00:09:04.530 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the other piece, and the second big shift for me was realizing that I wasn't always caring for the part of me that needed care. So at inner workout we talk about 5 dimensions of well being, and for most of us we
00:09:04.610 --> 00:09:06.350 Taylor Elyse Morrison: are really comfortable.
00:09:06.640 --> 00:09:15.059 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and I don't even know if comfortable is the word, but the types of care. We see the bubble baths, the massages, etc, are really focused on our physical self.
00:09:15.090 --> 00:09:35.989 Taylor Elyse Morrison: But if something is happening emotionally, or if there is something going on where that little voice inside of me is telling me. You know, Taylor, it's really time for you to have that conversation, and I keep ignoring it. No amount of massages is going to fix those other issues. So I'd say those were the the 2 shifts that kind of helped me fill that gap.
00:09:36.690 --> 00:09:39.260 Mira Brancu: Oh, very true, so very true. So
00:09:39.580 --> 00:09:46.019 Mira Brancu: what are the 5 dimensions of well-being that we should be listening to that? We don't always listen to.
00:09:46.350 --> 00:09:57.109 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah. So these are inspired by this yogic concept called the Kosha's. And then I kind of adapted them into dimensions and sub dimensions that
00:09:57.850 --> 00:10:24.319 Taylor Elyse Morrison: we'll pause there. So the 5 dimensions. The 1st is the physical dimension of wellbeing, and that to me is less about telling people to eat specific foods or move their body in specific ways, and again, is about, how are you having that conversation with your body about what you need? You know, if you're really honest with yourself, you know. If this is a day where you should get up and go for that run, or if it's a day, if you'd be better suited to stay home and stretch.
00:10:24.580 --> 00:10:31.769 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Then there is the energetic dimension of well-being. There's 2 parts to that. The 1st is about the breath.
00:10:31.940 --> 00:10:51.650 Taylor Elyse Morrison: There's so much power in our breath, and most of us, if we weren't singers or swimmers or played certain instruments, aren't really taught to use the breath to support our wellbeing. So that's a tool that I always recommend to people, because sometimes we don't know that we're doing like a low level of hyper ventilation in the way that we're breathing.
00:10:51.800 --> 00:11:06.979 Taylor Elyse Morrison: The other part of that is being aware of the way that energy is moving in and out of our life, and what I mean by that is, we all have the experience of talking to someone and feeling really drained like you just got hit by a bus or feeling really energized. And it's not that
00:11:07.100 --> 00:11:12.219 Taylor Elyse Morrison: we need to avoid draining situations all the time. That's not realistic.
00:11:12.230 --> 00:11:17.709 Taylor Elyse Morrison: but we do need to be mindful that we're being replenished. If we're also being depleted.
00:11:18.080 --> 00:11:21.269 Taylor Elyse Morrison: then there's the mental and emotional dimension of well-being
00:11:21.460 --> 00:11:24.330 Taylor Elyse Morrison: that's about the way that we are using our brain.
00:11:24.370 --> 00:11:29.620 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Are we mindful of what we're putting into it and the impact that it's having?
00:11:29.630 --> 00:11:31.650 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Are we stretching our brain?
00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:33.000 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Are we
00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:36.570 Taylor Elyse Morrison: able to engage with our emotions in a healthy way.
00:11:36.790 --> 00:11:38.830 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and that's all. Supported by sleep.
00:11:39.080 --> 00:11:46.720 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yes, sleep affects our physical body, but it also really affects our cognition and our ability to do anything with our brain.
00:11:46.940 --> 00:11:49.910 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Then we've got the wisdom, dimension, which is all about
00:11:50.070 --> 00:11:52.000 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the power of the present moment
00:11:52.300 --> 00:12:07.769 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I mentioned before. Like sometimes you have that little voice that tells you something, and a lot of times we ignore it. So it's being able to tune into that. And then if you feel really strongly, yeah, I should have that conversation, or I should go back to school, or whatever it is. Are you taking aligned action?
00:12:07.970 --> 00:12:14.629 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And then the last dimension of well-being is the bliss dimension which is all about being connected to yourself.
00:12:14.870 --> 00:12:17.859 Taylor Elyse Morrison: being connected to community support.
00:12:17.920 --> 00:12:36.650 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and then being connected to something bigger than you, whatever that looks like. So whether that is religion or spirituality, or being in nature, or being connected to your core values. So that was a whirlwind tour. But as I'm doing my own self care. That's constantly kind of what I'm checking in. Am I
00:12:36.900 --> 00:12:39.020 Taylor Elyse Morrison: in doing this thing? Am I really
00:12:39.250 --> 00:12:44.679 Taylor Elyse Morrison: directing my care towards what needs care? Or am I doing just what feels comfortable in the moment.
00:12:45.520 --> 00:12:49.949 Mira Brancu: Yeah, 1. 1 of the things that comes up for me as like you're listing these out
00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:53.000 Mira Brancu: is how somehow
00:12:53.420 --> 00:12:55.450 Mira Brancu: a lot of us turn
00:12:55.930 --> 00:12:57.490 Mira Brancu: self-care
00:12:57.960 --> 00:12:59.480 Mira Brancu: into
00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:02.260 Mira Brancu: beating ourselves up.
00:13:02.400 --> 00:13:05.920 Mira Brancu: or a product. Another productivity, metric.
00:13:06.650 --> 00:13:08.639 Mira Brancu: Like. So you know.
00:13:08.660 --> 00:13:14.490 Mira Brancu: I'm I'm going, you know, to yoga 3 days a week, and I'm going to.
00:13:14.790 --> 00:13:35.390 Mira Brancu: you know, have a really strict diet, and I'm going to take care. Take care of myself. Quote unquote by you know, doing this is what I did to myself doing. Hit 5 to 6 days a week. Guess what? That doesn't work. It broke my body down. By the way. We we turn that into yet another.
00:13:35.460 --> 00:13:38.180 Mira Brancu: And this is why self care often doesn't
00:13:38.430 --> 00:13:47.270 Mira Brancu: work is because of the way that, like you mentioned that we define it, we turn it into yet another productivity metric. I'm sort of curious your reactions to that.
00:13:47.560 --> 00:13:52.199 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah, that's why I love to shift it towards having a conversation with yourself
00:13:52.500 --> 00:13:55.490 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and being able to say, Okay.
00:13:56.170 --> 00:13:57.230 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I
00:13:57.750 --> 00:14:02.429 Taylor Elyse Morrison: feel like I want to do something for my body today. What do you need today, body?
00:14:03.420 --> 00:14:14.920 Taylor Elyse Morrison: It could be a hit class. I've been in times where I was doing hit classes 5 days a week, and I was like, as soon as you said that I was like, Yeah, that did not work for me. Now. I maybe do one a week. Normally, I do low impact. But
00:14:15.490 --> 00:14:33.219 Taylor Elyse Morrison: having that conversation. And I was just talking about this with someone today, it's really uncomfortable for most most of us because we really want. I want this formula, tell me exactly what to do and what this form of self care is inviting us into is a relationship which means that things are going to change.
00:14:33.400 --> 00:14:41.380 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and that's good. You you were always changing just before you were pretending that that change wasn't happening and trying to fit into a box.
00:14:43.050 --> 00:14:47.272 Mira Brancu: I really resonate with that Taylor. So
00:14:48.750 --> 00:14:54.399 Mira Brancu: I have a really deep question. And because we're reaching an ad break, I'm not going to ask it just yet.
00:14:54.500 --> 00:14:56.404 Mira Brancu: but I'll sort of
00:14:57.150 --> 00:15:06.909 Mira Brancu: put a little PIN in it until we come to to it after the the ad break to have you think about it, too, which is? And I read your book. I love it.
00:15:06.920 --> 00:15:10.630 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I'd recommend it to everybody. Absolutely love it. Inner workout.
00:15:11.020 --> 00:15:21.659 Mira Brancu: You mentioned in it how the content of some self care guidance out there doesn't always invite certain people to engage in it, and that includes black women.
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:30.279 Mira Brancu: And so, and I agree. And so I would love to hear more about your thoughts, about why, that is what is the significance of self care.
00:15:30.705 --> 00:15:37.220 Mira Brancu: For black women, the black community. What do we need to know about self care and privilege in general?
00:15:37.260 --> 00:15:48.290 Mira Brancu: Deep, deep question. We'll come back to that in just a moment. We're reaching an ad break. You're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branco and our guest today, Taylor, Elise Morrison.
00:15:48.400 --> 00:15:51.009 Mira Brancu: We air on Tuesdays, at 5 pm. Eastern.
00:15:51.060 --> 00:16:02.560 Mira Brancu: If you would like to join us on our online audience and ask questions, you are welcome to do so. You can find us on Linkedin or Youtube at Talkradio, Nyc. And we'll be right back in just a moment.
00:18:14.260 --> 00:18:21.020 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mara Branco and our guest today, Taylor, Elise Morrison.
00:18:21.250 --> 00:18:32.320 Mira Brancu: All right. I dropped a deep question on you, which is, why is it? How is it that some self care guidance out there doesn't necessarily invite
00:18:32.410 --> 00:18:43.720 Mira Brancu: or have black women in mind? What are sort of some of the you know, privileges related to the wellness industry that is important to know about.
00:18:44.500 --> 00:18:48.100 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah, thank you so much for asking that question.
00:18:48.840 --> 00:19:02.060 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and even at the very beginning of my book I talk about how, even as a black woman I hold a lot of privileges. I am able bodied. I have financial privileges. I'm married to a man. There are a lot of things where I still
00:19:02.280 --> 00:19:06.469 Taylor Elyse Morrison: have privilege relative to people who on the surface look like me.
00:19:06.650 --> 00:19:09.139 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And the question that you asked is really
00:19:09.360 --> 00:19:11.339 Taylor Elyse Morrison: a deep one, I think.
00:19:11.710 --> 00:19:19.050 Taylor Elyse Morrison: for a lot of reasons. Going back hundreds of years. We have, especially in the States.
00:19:19.780 --> 00:19:32.870 Taylor Elyse Morrison: lifted up white women in particular, as the epitome and European women as the epitome of beauty, etc. And when when you look back, even
00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:44.680 Taylor Elyse Morrison: at like Renaissance paintings and looking at body type like it used to be to have a curvier body type was such a sign of opulence and wealth, and as
00:19:44.790 --> 00:20:00.940 Taylor Elyse Morrison: people started engaging with Africans as our food supply changed, etc, we really changed what it meant to be beautiful, and it may sound strange that I'm talking about beauty as it relates to wellness, but the reality is is that most of the time when we are talking about wellness
00:20:01.160 --> 00:20:05.299 Taylor Elyse Morrison: in mainstream society, we're talking about being well
00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:06.620 Taylor Elyse Morrison: in
00:20:07.210 --> 00:20:21.240 Taylor Elyse Morrison: as a means to become beautiful in a societally acceptable way, and I think that's the core of why black women often get left out of the conversation, because we're still to this day not seen as
00:20:21.500 --> 00:20:26.879 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the standard, or even in many cases, a standard of beauty. So
00:20:27.330 --> 00:20:28.159 Taylor Elyse Morrison: which is.
00:20:28.430 --> 00:20:40.740 Taylor Elyse Morrison: it's frustrating, because when you look at the way that we are treated in the healthcare system now moving from wellness into healthcare, and I know you have so much experience with this. But
00:20:41.060 --> 00:20:55.390 Taylor Elyse Morrison: black people, black women specifically, are are treated differently. You think of Serena Williams, who was giving birth to her baby, and you think, with all of the millions of dollars that she had that she would have the best care, and she still had to advocate for herself.
00:20:55.390 --> 00:21:11.130 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I don't plan on having children personally, but one of my friends said, if you ever change your mind, my gift to you will be for you to have a doula, because I really want you to have an advocate, and someone who is only focused on your care in the room because she was thinking of some of these
00:21:11.380 --> 00:21:18.809 Taylor Elyse Morrison: statistics. And so there's this weird tension between us being left out of the conversation.
00:21:19.600 --> 00:21:25.809 Taylor Elyse Morrison: except as at times an accessory, while also being in the people who most need care.
00:21:25.820 --> 00:21:30.249 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And I think it's really beautiful, for
00:21:30.860 --> 00:21:33.859 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I'm speaking from my experience as a black woman
00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:38.010 Taylor Elyse Morrison: for us to embrace the ability
00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:40.740 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and the right to care for ourselves
00:21:40.800 --> 00:21:59.350 Taylor Elyse Morrison: where so many of our ancestors were not only caring for their families, but also for slave owners, families, and there's so much generational heaviness of putting other people first, st and it's a reclamation to care for ourselves. I'm sure many people are
00:21:59.520 --> 00:22:14.030 Taylor Elyse Morrison: familiar, familiar with the Audrey Lord quote about how caring for ourselves, and specifically as black women is not just something that we do nice for ourselves. It's self preservation. And
00:22:14.820 --> 00:22:24.219 Taylor Elyse Morrison: yeah, it can be a really political act. So I could get on my soapbox about this all day, but I hope this gives you kind of a tour of some of my thoughts.
00:22:24.500 --> 00:22:30.449 Mira Brancu: Oh, my God! I have a billion thoughts in my head right now. I you know
00:22:30.890 --> 00:22:32.590 Mira Brancu: one is.
00:22:33.060 --> 00:22:38.110 Mira Brancu: And you know this is just my learning and sort of
00:22:38.360 --> 00:22:40.580 Mira Brancu: insight of realizing
00:22:40.980 --> 00:22:42.000 Mira Brancu: how
00:22:42.450 --> 00:22:46.689 Mira Brancu: much this can be like you said, like a revolution.
00:22:46.840 --> 00:23:05.849 Mira Brancu: you know, to focus on your needs yourself, and you know, for black women to feel the right to joy, leisure, pleasure. Is something that was not afforded to them in the past, and still to this day. Is.
00:23:05.960 --> 00:23:24.899 Mira Brancu: you know, sort of questioned when they want to take time off when they want to not engage in an unhealthy conversation, right for their own mental health and self preservation. They're still questioned, you know. But it is an act of self care, and that's kind of what I'm
00:23:25.100 --> 00:23:28.379 Mira Brancu: sort of picking up, and even like the what you
00:23:28.660 --> 00:23:33.590 Mira Brancu: described in the healthcare system. Right? Advocating for yourself
00:23:34.410 --> 00:23:35.460 Mira Brancu: is
00:23:35.690 --> 00:23:37.070 Mira Brancu: self-care.
00:23:37.800 --> 00:23:38.640 Mira Brancu: right?
00:23:39.140 --> 00:23:41.610 Mira Brancu: I mean, people don't think about it that way.
00:23:42.130 --> 00:23:45.129 Mira Brancu: People do not think advocating for myself
00:23:45.888 --> 00:23:49.719 Mira Brancu: asking to not engage in a difficult conversation.
00:23:50.448 --> 00:23:56.489 Mira Brancu: They don't. They don't connect that with self care, because all we think about is sort of like the
00:23:56.890 --> 00:23:57.690 Mira Brancu: out
00:23:57.960 --> 00:23:59.070 Mira Brancu: outward
00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:00.920 Mira Brancu: self-care stuff, right?
00:24:01.420 --> 00:24:11.169 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Cause. That's the easy stuff. It is way easier for me to put on a facial and to watch a great show on Netflix than to really
00:24:11.300 --> 00:24:18.209 Taylor Elyse Morrison: to decide whether or not I want to engage with a hard conversation, or to set a boundary or to
00:24:18.730 --> 00:24:23.920 Taylor Elyse Morrison: man. There's there's so many things, and it makes sense to me that
00:24:24.430 --> 00:24:28.929 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the mainstream ideas of talking about self care are the things that are
00:24:29.190 --> 00:24:32.150 Taylor Elyse Morrison: almost more like pacification, and I don't say that.
00:24:32.150 --> 00:24:32.580 Mira Brancu: And.
00:24:32.580 --> 00:24:43.670 Taylor Elyse Morrison: To say that those are bad things, because those are all things I engage in. I'm getting ready to watch a TV show later tonight, and we have to make sure that we're we're doing those things that
00:24:44.310 --> 00:24:47.899 Taylor Elyse Morrison: care for us now and are caring for us later.
00:24:48.370 --> 00:24:49.180 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I
00:24:49.560 --> 00:24:52.289 Mira Brancu: one of the things that I'm I'm starting to
00:24:53.810 --> 00:24:56.920 Mira Brancu: realize as I'm talking with you is
00:24:57.530 --> 00:25:03.570 Mira Brancu: you know how how people use self care on a continuum, and that
00:25:04.070 --> 00:25:09.909 Mira Brancu: what we have to be careful about is when you were saying, like self pacification, right like.
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:17.339 Mira Brancu: are we using it as a Band-aid or last case resort, because we're so exhausted and so depleted
00:25:17.470 --> 00:25:21.480 Mira Brancu: that the only thing we could do is sit there on the couch and watch my numbing
00:25:21.750 --> 00:25:22.840 Mira Brancu: movies
00:25:23.280 --> 00:25:29.504 Mira Brancu: as opposed to somebody who's in a great state and loves to just watch my numbing movies right?
00:25:30.210 --> 00:25:35.389 Mira Brancu: And in order to not get to that place where you're using
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:38.160 Mira Brancu: you know
00:25:38.390 --> 00:25:45.030 Mira Brancu: massages or watching my numbing movies, or whatever as a way to
00:25:46.760 --> 00:25:48.360 Mira Brancu: as a last resort.
00:25:49.560 --> 00:25:56.779 Mira Brancu: what you need to be doing is all the things that you were talking about, Taylor, which is putting into place
00:25:57.350 --> 00:25:58.770 Mira Brancu: practices
00:25:58.990 --> 00:26:01.699 Mira Brancu: so that you never have to get to that point
00:26:01.880 --> 00:26:08.399 Mira Brancu: where all you're doing is applying a band aid to a really bad situation, where you're completely burnt out.
00:26:09.240 --> 00:26:34.629 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah. And that's a concept I talk about in the book and I talk about in in general is proactive and responsive self care. And so when I know either that there's something that feels really good for me, and maybe I did it on accident. But I want to do it more intentionally. An example for me right now is I've always known, I mean I grew up dancing, but it used to be something that
00:26:34.740 --> 00:26:38.900 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I would say. You know what, ma'am? I'm going to watch a Youtube video and learn a dance.
00:26:39.530 --> 00:26:54.689 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I started instead, I signed up for dance classes. I go to dance classes twice a week, and it's a really proactive form of self care. I know this thing is good for me. I want to do more of it. I'm putting measures in place to hold me accountable to doing it.
00:26:55.460 --> 00:26:57.279 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Sometimes, also.
00:26:57.390 --> 00:27:01.830 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I know that I have to do something that's really difficult. I had to have
00:27:01.950 --> 00:27:05.300 Taylor Elyse Morrison: a super hard conversation last week.
00:27:05.350 --> 00:27:10.589 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and I had a meeting with my coach beforehand. That was also proactive self-care.
00:27:11.650 --> 00:27:37.520 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Sometimes it is. I know I'm going to need time to decompress after this conversation. So I'm going to make sure that I have an hour, long block after that, where I can breathe, and I can do other work that doesn't involve me engaging with people. So that's the proactive self care, either amplifying the good or finding ways to make sure that you're able to care for yourself after the difficult. And then there's the responsive self care which is
00:27:37.570 --> 00:27:41.320 Taylor Elyse Morrison: what you do in the moment when you're feeling dysregulated.
00:27:41.530 --> 00:27:43.740 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and if we don't
00:27:44.250 --> 00:27:55.549 Taylor Elyse Morrison: give ourselves options ahead of time, we often go to the things that feel easiest. So we go to the Netflix, or we go to the endlessly scrolling, or whatever. Maybe those are not
00:27:55.780 --> 00:27:58.930 Taylor Elyse Morrison: again inherently. They're not bad. But
00:27:59.360 --> 00:28:09.499 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and I will say I'm trying to get better at not saying, but when I mean and so those are not bad, and there might be more useful things for you to do
00:28:09.560 --> 00:28:16.599 Taylor Elyse Morrison: so. Something I really challenge people to do is to put together a list of practices that feel supportive for you.
00:28:16.780 --> 00:28:18.309 Taylor Elyse Morrison: One of my clients
00:28:18.590 --> 00:28:31.069 Taylor Elyse Morrison: put hers in a notion dashboard, and called it like break in case of emergency. Another client will put it on a post-it note. But you have these things that you know will bring you back to some type of baseline.
00:28:32.230 --> 00:28:45.410 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and it's not necessarily going to get rid of the difficult situation. But what it will do is it will get you to a place where you can decide what you want to do next. Instead of going on autopilot.
00:28:46.310 --> 00:28:50.040 Mira Brancu: Yeah. And I think that's really important is is the autopilot issue.
00:28:50.110 --> 00:28:57.069 Mira Brancu: It's not intentionally checking in with yourself, and then intentionally, proactively, like you said.
00:28:57.220 --> 00:29:06.149 Mira Brancu: coming up with a plan that speaks to you and what you need, and I would love to talk a little bit more about that when we come back from the ad break
00:29:06.562 --> 00:29:08.130 Mira Brancu: you mentioned. You have
00:29:08.520 --> 00:29:11.849 Mira Brancu: a framework care that
00:29:12.100 --> 00:29:28.310 Mira Brancu: people can use to apply to be a little bit more intentional, so I would love to hear more about that framework or any other framework that you feel might be useful for people to sort of intentionally look in and then use that information in order to put together a plan like you were discussing.
00:29:28.330 --> 00:29:37.730 Mira Brancu: So you're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branco and our guest today, Taylor, Elise Morrison, we'll be right back in just a moment.
00:31:38.910 --> 00:31:48.990 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Bronk, who and our guest today, Taylor, Elise Morrison. So when we left where we left off before the ad break was
00:31:49.130 --> 00:32:00.620 Mira Brancu: to start thinking about what kind of framework might apply to, you know, addressing how to look within, and then, you know, put a plan together.
00:32:01.040 --> 00:32:04.759 Mira Brancu: And how might that help me? And maybe even help other people.
00:32:06.920 --> 00:32:10.289 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah, the 1st thing that came to mind when you asked. That is
00:32:10.350 --> 00:32:29.130 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the idea of building your self care support system. And I don't have time to go into all of it to today. That can be like a whole workshop that I bring people through. But the quick points that I encourage people to think about are, what are the practices that you do so again?
00:32:29.260 --> 00:32:40.960 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Are there proactive things? Are there responsive things? And to get specific with examples that could be that you. I live by the lake in Chicago. One of my practices
00:32:40.960 --> 00:33:00.160 Taylor Elyse Morrison: is going by for a long walk by the lake. I mentioned that I like to take dance class. Now I have different journaling practices that are really supportive for me. Breathing exercises. My favorite one is just simply breathing into your belly, making your exhales longer than your inhales.
00:33:00.360 --> 00:33:05.779 Taylor Elyse Morrison: You could do it in a meeting. No one will even know you're doing it as long as you're not huffing and puffing
00:33:06.070 --> 00:33:11.200 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the next piece. Besides, practices is thinking about who your partners are.
00:33:11.270 --> 00:33:17.860 Taylor Elyse Morrison: so who are the people that you have that can support you. That could be your life partner. That could be
00:33:18.050 --> 00:33:25.780 Taylor Elyse Morrison: a therapist, a coach that could be people who are in the Leadership Academy with you and are
00:33:26.210 --> 00:33:36.489 Taylor Elyse Morrison: part of your support system. It could be that you go to an acupuncturist. I could keep listing different types of partners. But the reason to me that it's important to have that in there is.
00:33:36.870 --> 00:33:39.589 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I don't want you to think that just because it's
00:33:39.650 --> 00:33:43.479 Taylor Elyse Morrison: says self care that you're meant to do it all on your own.
00:33:43.870 --> 00:33:45.600 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And then the last piece
00:33:45.620 --> 00:33:46.850 Taylor Elyse Morrison: is products.
00:33:46.890 --> 00:33:51.450 Taylor Elyse Morrison: So are there specific products that can support you.
00:33:51.470 --> 00:33:58.010 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And I say it last for a reason, because it's in many cases a nice to have.
00:33:58.040 --> 00:34:10.350 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And, as I've mentioned before, our tendency is to start with the spending money, and there's a long way that we can go just by focusing on the practices and the partners in our life.
00:34:11.050 --> 00:34:14.840 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I I'm already thinking. First, st
00:34:15.659 --> 00:34:24.039 Mira Brancu: you describe, you've described a number of practices that you have, and I have a number of practices, too, and I think it's important for people to recognize that
00:34:24.750 --> 00:34:41.729 Mira Brancu: your practices are different from my practices are different from somebody else's practice. Like you create your own set of practices that are right for you. It! It doesn't make sense to pick up somebody else's practices. It won't fit for you right? So one of the the things that
00:34:41.940 --> 00:34:43.717 Mira Brancu: you mentioned partners.
00:34:44.520 --> 00:34:47.019 Mira Brancu: My spouse and I will walk
00:34:47.402 --> 00:34:56.040 Mira Brancu: as often as we can each day around the block for 30 min right after dinner, to just catch up up about our day, and to
00:34:56.460 --> 00:35:20.739 Mira Brancu: it were like, be each other's journals, you know, and but also each other's like counselor, you know, coach types right to just think through and debrief. And and it's also a way for us to connect. And that is also a way for me to get some exercise outside of my own home when normally I wouldn't do it. So it serves multiple purposes all in one.
00:35:21.090 --> 00:35:34.450 Mira Brancu: and we find that when we don't do that we feel less connected, we feel kind of like more isolated. And you know all of these things, and it's only from like experimentation that we realize like this is something that
00:35:34.580 --> 00:35:37.170 Mira Brancu: works for us. It might not work for other people. Right?
00:35:37.330 --> 00:35:40.459 Mira Brancu: So definitely resonating with that. Now.
00:35:40.730 --> 00:35:44.580 Mira Brancu: one of the things that I find really interesting that you have mentioned is
00:35:45.560 --> 00:35:46.370 Mira Brancu: that
00:35:46.640 --> 00:35:55.640 Mira Brancu: the self care can help other people, too. And you've mentioned kind of like the impact on your team's well-being. How how do you make that connection?
00:35:56.070 --> 00:35:57.720 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah, so
00:35:58.420 --> 00:36:04.830 Taylor Elyse Morrison: many of us have heard the adage that people don't leave companies. They leave their managers.
00:36:05.070 --> 00:36:06.090 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and
00:36:06.410 --> 00:36:33.770 Taylor Elyse Morrison: everyone finds it so easy to believe that when you're talking about other people really hard to believe it, when you are the leader, when you are the manager, and I really appreciate the the work that Deloitte is doing around burnout research and workplace. Well, being research. And I wanted to just share a stat, they said that 77% of people. This is from a burnout survey. They did in 2,018. So this was pre pandemic.
00:36:34.260 --> 00:36:39.319 Taylor Elyse Morrison: 70 cent, 77% of people had felt burned out in their job.
00:36:39.910 --> 00:36:41.000 Taylor Elyse Morrison: That's
00:36:42.430 --> 00:36:43.080 Taylor Elyse Morrison: there's.
00:36:43.080 --> 00:36:43.410 Mira Brancu: Dummy.
00:36:43.410 --> 00:37:00.559 Taylor Elyse Morrison: People that's so many people. And then when you get into the numbers, they found they they drilled down into some of those reasons for people feeling burned out. 31% said it was because they felt a lack of support and recognition.
00:37:01.190 --> 00:37:04.019 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Who gives a lot of support and recommend recognition and.
00:37:04.020 --> 00:37:04.620 Mira Brancu: Job,
00:37:05.220 --> 00:37:18.730 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Or doesn't the leader or the manager 30% said that a lack of clarity so unrealistic deadlines, and then a lack of clear expectations contributed to their burnout.
00:37:18.740 --> 00:37:32.289 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And then 29% said that it was because they were working long hours and working on weekends. And when I hear all of those. Those are all things that we, as leaders, have a potential to mitigate.
00:37:32.360 --> 00:37:47.860 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And so I like to ground the conversation there. And yes, there are so many things that are going on in your employees, life that may be outside of your control. But I I love the Annie Dillard, quote that how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
00:37:47.890 --> 00:37:51.079 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and most of us spend our days most of our days at work.
00:37:51.120 --> 00:37:55.209 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And so, if we can give people a better workplace experience.
00:37:55.250 --> 00:37:58.729 Taylor Elyse Morrison: It's going to change the way that they experience their whole life.
00:37:59.850 --> 00:38:00.600 Mira Brancu: Bam.
00:38:01.340 --> 00:38:04.340 Mira Brancu: I mean, you can't get a more compelling
00:38:04.560 --> 00:38:07.649 Mira Brancu: argument than that right? And
00:38:08.310 --> 00:38:19.950 Mira Brancu: if you're a leader of a team, you might also have the same experiences from your own leaders. Right? So it's not foreign to you. That a
00:38:20.120 --> 00:38:27.360 Mira Brancu: team leader can make or break your experience. And I say this very often when I'm doing team development workshops.
00:38:27.390 --> 00:38:30.239 Mira Brancu: which is that the team leader
00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:32.660 Mira Brancu: has a massive impact
00:38:33.260 --> 00:38:39.530 Mira Brancu: on whether you can be a buffer to organizational stress and chaos.
00:38:39.600 --> 00:38:42.429 Mira Brancu: or expose people to that.
00:38:42.510 --> 00:38:46.559 Mira Brancu: Or you can be someone who helps, minimize
00:38:46.640 --> 00:39:06.850 Mira Brancu: or mitigate burnout or add to it right? So you have a lot of influence. You may not realize it, but you do have a lot of influence in this way. So I'm I'm curious. What? How? How would you help leaders when they're thinking about their impact on a team when it comes to self care.
00:39:07.090 --> 00:39:08.420 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah, so.
00:39:09.030 --> 00:39:12.260 Taylor Elyse Morrison: This care model comes in, and
00:39:12.720 --> 00:39:22.780 Taylor Elyse Morrison: one of the things that that I I love to do, and this must just be part of my personality is really expand. People's ideas of what falls in what bucket?
00:39:22.830 --> 00:39:30.169 Taylor Elyse Morrison: So with self care, for example, I was doing a workshop, and someone was like, oh, I guess that Bowling League that I do with my dad is self care.
00:39:30.590 --> 00:39:40.029 Taylor Elyse Morrison: It makes me feel really connected to him, and it gets me out of the house. And I was like, Yeah, absolutely. That's self. Care to your point for you.
00:39:40.110 --> 00:39:49.720 Taylor Elyse Morrison: That might be a nightmare for someone else. But that is self care for you. And I hope, as we go through this framework again, it expands your ideas of what is actually impacting wellness.
00:39:49.750 --> 00:39:53.490 Taylor Elyse Morrison: So the 1st piece of the care framework is being communicative.
00:39:53.740 --> 00:39:57.089 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and we heard in those statistics that.
00:39:57.250 --> 00:40:05.359 Taylor Elyse Morrison: not having a clear idea of what's expected to people and re, and what having unrealistic ideas of results.
00:40:05.560 --> 00:40:08.759 Taylor Elyse Morrison: can lead to burnout or can contribute to burnout.
00:40:08.790 --> 00:40:16.930 Taylor Elyse Morrison: So one of the things that often happens when I'm working with leaders is asking them what they are or are not communicating.
00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:20.179 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Do you have clear expectations
00:40:20.210 --> 00:40:21.459 Taylor Elyse Morrison: for your team?
00:40:21.550 --> 00:40:41.879 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Did you say something once, and then never document it or never follow up about it and assume that everyone got it. Did you never say it at all? And you just hoped that people would infer because the other people have been on the team for 5 years, and they do it that way. So obviously, the new person should just fall in line and know that that's what's meant to be done.
00:40:42.320 --> 00:40:47.020 Taylor Elyse Morrison: So that's kind of the one part of communication. What are you actually saying?
00:40:47.510 --> 00:40:51.199 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And also going back to that recognition people piece?
00:40:51.520 --> 00:40:52.849 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Do people know
00:40:53.100 --> 00:40:59.580 Taylor Elyse Morrison: that they're doing a good job? Do people know that they're not doing a good job? Are you having? And
00:41:00.040 --> 00:41:10.350 Taylor Elyse Morrison: especially depending on our different types of personality and relationship. We might want to avoid having these types of conversations. Sometimes it's
00:41:10.380 --> 00:41:30.010 Taylor Elyse Morrison: accidental. We just assume people know what we think. But sometimes we really need support to be able, because we don't feel equipped, to have hard conversations. So I trust that everyone listening can know whether it's a oops. I've just been doing it this way for 20 years, forgot to communicate it, or if it's a oh, I I know I should tell people, but I don't know how
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:36.609 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and get support that you need either way. So I'll pause there about the communicative piece, and then we can jump back in the rest.
00:41:36.820 --> 00:41:38.791 Mira Brancu: Yeah, no, I I completely agree.
00:41:39.460 --> 00:41:41.630 Mira Brancu: we make a lot of assumptions
00:41:41.700 --> 00:41:43.200 Mira Brancu: that people
00:41:44.950 --> 00:41:51.910 Mira Brancu: get what we're saying, get what we mean that we're very obvious in our expectations, and that is rarely the case.
00:41:51.980 --> 00:41:55.299 Mira Brancu: you know, lean towards over communicating. If you're not sure.
00:41:55.840 --> 00:41:57.180 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah.
00:41:58.140 --> 00:41:59.130 Taylor Elyse Morrison: it is.
00:41:59.290 --> 00:42:08.499 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And I have had moments where I felt like, I was over communicating and I really wasn't, and I can also trust hopefully, you've built trust on your team that people will tell you
00:42:08.530 --> 00:42:10.309 Taylor Elyse Morrison: when when they've got it.
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:12.319 Taylor Elyse Morrison: But let them get to that point.
00:42:12.860 --> 00:42:22.660 Taylor Elyse Morrison: The the next piece is around Awareness. And for me, this is really about your self awareness. So, having a sense of
00:42:23.350 --> 00:42:24.639 Taylor Elyse Morrison: who you are.
00:42:25.540 --> 00:42:31.490 Taylor Elyse Morrison: what your personal needs are. So have you done this work for yourself? Are you doing this work for yourself.
00:42:31.520 --> 00:42:34.740 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and how that informs how you lead?
00:42:35.650 --> 00:42:46.250 Taylor Elyse Morrison: So just like we were talking about before I speak from my eye as a black woman, and I know that my experience as a black woman informs how I lead
00:42:46.850 --> 00:42:48.649 Taylor Elyse Morrison: many times to
00:42:49.270 --> 00:42:50.520 Taylor Elyse Morrison: my benefit.
00:42:50.530 --> 00:42:59.329 Taylor Elyse Morrison: but also sometimes to my detriment. And so I need to have that awareness of what's going on internally for me
00:43:00.140 --> 00:43:06.079 Taylor Elyse Morrison: is going to change how I set the culture for the team for better or for worse. Worse.
00:43:06.150 --> 00:43:08.189 Taylor Elyse Morrison: And again it
00:43:08.420 --> 00:43:09.690 Taylor Elyse Morrison: is
00:43:10.590 --> 00:43:19.709 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I don't. I mean, in many ways. It's it's leadership. 101 stuff. Many of us have taken assessments that talk to us about how we lead, but there can be a gap between
00:43:20.120 --> 00:43:34.680 Taylor Elyse Morrison: what we know to be true about ourselves, and how then that actually is received by the team, and how willing we are to make adjustments. Being aware doesn't mean that you just dig into. Well, this is how I am
00:43:35.330 --> 00:43:36.130 Taylor Elyse Morrison: right.
00:43:36.130 --> 00:43:36.850 Mira Brancu: And
00:43:38.690 --> 00:43:43.280 Mira Brancu: I will add that when when you go to through leadership, development.
00:43:43.380 --> 00:43:46.899 Mira Brancu: traditional leadership development programs and those assessments.
00:43:47.060 --> 00:43:48.890 Mira Brancu: you might learn
00:43:50.314 --> 00:43:55.050 Mira Brancu: what your preferences are, what your styles are, what your competencies are.
00:43:56.240 --> 00:43:57.170 Mira Brancu: But
00:43:58.830 --> 00:44:02.609 Mira Brancu: what you need is something very, very deep.
00:44:03.010 --> 00:44:05.860 Mira Brancu: You you mentioned that, like you know what you need that
00:44:07.530 --> 00:44:10.060 Mira Brancu: might seem obvious.
00:44:10.070 --> 00:44:12.900 Mira Brancu: But there are times when you need things
00:44:13.020 --> 00:44:15.600 Mira Brancu: that are rooted in
00:44:15.750 --> 00:44:18.990 Mira Brancu: unhealthy past experiences
00:44:19.200 --> 00:44:25.219 Mira Brancu: that should not be filled by your team, and I just want to sort of
00:44:25.390 --> 00:44:30.819 Mira Brancu: point that out that that is work for therapy, or for coaching that kind of thing that
00:44:31.689 --> 00:44:43.850 Mira Brancu: to really deeply understand what need versus want versus identity versus past experiences are so that you're not necessarily using your
00:44:44.040 --> 00:44:47.460 Mira Brancu: team for things that are inappropriate for them to
00:44:47.600 --> 00:44:54.190 Mira Brancu: feed for you or respond to you as something that you should be providing to yourself as the self care piece
00:44:54.410 --> 00:45:10.540 Mira Brancu: we're reaching an ad break. So we're going to stop there. We're going to finish the last 2 pieces, R and E. Of care, your care framework. When we come right back. You're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mirabranku and our guest today, Taylor, Elise Morrison, and we'll be right back in just a moment.
00:47:14.120 --> 00:47:26.240 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Brancu and our guest today, Taylor, Elise Morrison, and I'm just Gonna do a recap of where we are, because we've touched on a lot.
00:47:26.270 --> 00:47:29.319 Mira Brancu: We've touched on your 5 dimensions of well-being.
00:47:29.540 --> 00:47:35.950 Mira Brancu: We touched on what 3 things you need for personal self care when you're just focused on yourself
00:47:35.960 --> 00:47:38.520 Mira Brancu: practices, partners, products.
00:47:38.580 --> 00:47:44.999 Mira Brancu: And we started talking about what you need for self care on a team communication awareness.
00:47:45.300 --> 00:47:50.509 Mira Brancu: CNA part of the care model. So now we're
00:47:50.560 --> 00:47:55.659 Mira Brancu: moving into the last 2 pieces, the R and the E. What else? In addition to
00:47:55.860 --> 00:47:58.260 Mira Brancu: communication and awareness.
00:47:58.410 --> 00:48:02.390 Mira Brancu: Do team leaders need to be thinking about when it comes to self-care on a team.
00:48:03.290 --> 00:48:08.160 Taylor Elyse Morrison: So I couldn't narrow down to one R. So we got 2 r's. But.
00:48:08.160 --> 00:48:08.860 Mira Brancu: Oh, very.
00:48:08.860 --> 00:48:09.950 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Interrelated.
00:48:10.230 --> 00:48:10.510 Mira Brancu: Right!
00:48:10.510 --> 00:48:14.479 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Being receptive and responsive, and
00:48:14.540 --> 00:48:18.680 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the receptive piece is being really open to feedback
00:48:19.430 --> 00:48:25.470 Taylor Elyse Morrison: seeking out feedback, not just saying, Oh, I have a an open door, and then
00:48:26.100 --> 00:48:35.929 Taylor Elyse Morrison: what tends to happen when you have an open door is that no one actually enters it? You've got to go seek people out and let them know that you're really open to receiving that feedback.
00:48:36.810 --> 00:48:38.100 Taylor Elyse Morrison: It's also
00:48:38.560 --> 00:48:54.260 Taylor Elyse Morrison: this receptivity and this responsiveness is also about not being overly tied. Now, this is within reason. Everyone apply this to your own workplace context, but not being overly tied to one way of doing the work.
00:48:54.370 --> 00:48:57.329 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I think sometimes we can get really
00:48:58.400 --> 00:49:09.849 Taylor Elyse Morrison: dug into our way of doing it as being right, and that can shut people down the same way that us, not being open to receiving feedback can shut people down.
00:49:10.440 --> 00:49:16.499 Taylor Elyse Morrison: The other piece is, if you are going to tell people
00:49:17.280 --> 00:49:18.920 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I want to hear your feedback.
00:49:19.150 --> 00:49:24.400 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and then you're going to go and ask people. No, really, I want you to give me some feedback.
00:49:25.320 --> 00:49:34.269 Taylor Elyse Morrison: You need to respond to that feedback. Now, what I don't mean is that someone says, Okay, I want an ice cream party every day, and you say, sure.
00:49:35.200 --> 00:49:49.249 Taylor Elyse Morrison: But what I mean is that if someone gives you feedback, someone is brave enough and vulnerable enough to say, this is some feedback that I have. It is your duty as a leader who is trying to create a well, a culture of well, being on your team
00:49:49.900 --> 00:49:51.070 Taylor Elyse Morrison: to
00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:57.669 Taylor Elyse Morrison: tell people that you heard that feedback and what you're going to do with that feedback.
00:49:57.810 --> 00:50:00.560 Taylor Elyse Morrison: even if that is. You know what
00:50:00.810 --> 00:50:08.809 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I taught? I ran it up the ladder, or I looked at our budget, and we're not able to do this right now.
00:50:09.690 --> 00:50:15.210 Taylor Elyse Morrison: This is what we can't do, or I ran it up. And they had questions about this.
00:50:15.290 --> 00:50:24.930 Taylor Elyse Morrison: or even responding, sometimes responding is with a question, okay, I'm I don't know why I use this ridiculous example of an ice cream party. But okay.
00:50:25.950 --> 00:50:29.299 Taylor Elyse Morrison: an ice cream party. Tell me more about why that's important to you.
00:50:30.690 --> 00:50:37.809 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and maybe they just really want to sugar Rush in the afternoon. But maybe they're feeling lonely, and they want connection with their team.
00:50:37.980 --> 00:50:54.050 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Or maybe they're feeling like they're not being rewarded for their work. So sometimes our response to that feedback is simply using our active listening to have a conversation to get to the root of what the issue is, and to see how we can respond.
00:50:54.560 --> 00:51:05.420 Taylor Elyse Morrison: maybe not giving them everything that they want, but moving the needle. And I see being receptive and responding, being responsive as so important for this work. Because
00:51:05.710 --> 00:51:09.839 Taylor Elyse Morrison: if you don't feel like there is any hope of your situation changing.
00:51:10.100 --> 00:51:11.630 Taylor Elyse Morrison: you're going to shut down.
00:51:11.860 --> 00:51:14.659 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Either you're going to stay in your place of burnout.
00:51:14.760 --> 00:51:24.779 Taylor Elyse Morrison: or you're going to have presenteeism where people are there or they're really not, or people are going to be looking for their ticket out the door, or all 3.
00:51:24.840 --> 00:51:28.660 Taylor Elyse Morrison: So if you don't demonstrate that there is some level of
00:51:28.760 --> 00:51:30.350 Taylor Elyse Morrison: malleability.
00:51:30.940 --> 00:51:33.710 Taylor Elyse Morrison: then you're gonna lose your people. And
00:51:34.510 --> 00:51:38.160 Taylor Elyse Morrison: we could get into all types of statistics about how expensive and hard that is. But.
00:51:38.493 --> 00:51:39.160 Mira Brancu: I will.
00:51:39.160 --> 00:51:40.139 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Pause there.
00:51:40.140 --> 00:51:44.529 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I responsive does not mean agree. It means close the loop.
00:51:44.660 --> 00:51:48.900 Mira Brancu: Say what you did with the information. Right? If you don't close the loop.
00:51:48.960 --> 00:51:56.199 Mira Brancu: People will think it's not worth speaking up. It's not worth giving feedback. It doesn't go anywhere. It goes into some black hole
00:51:56.420 --> 00:52:00.809 Mira Brancu: and doesn't come back and they experience learn helplessness.
00:52:00.830 --> 00:52:03.970 Mira Brancu: and that is probably not your intention.
00:52:04.220 --> 00:52:16.800 Mira Brancu: You probably thought about it a lot right. And then maybe something happened. But if you don't close the loop and going back to that communication piece, you don't close the loop, and people don't know what you did with their information, their feedback.
00:52:17.865 --> 00:52:19.949 Mira Brancu: It can cause
00:52:20.120 --> 00:52:27.449 Mira Brancu: this rupture in psychological safety and trust in you as a leader. Right? But simply by
00:52:27.620 --> 00:52:29.930 Mira Brancu: just closing the loop, you can address a lot.
00:52:30.805 --> 00:52:32.649 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Absolutely. And that's
00:52:32.760 --> 00:52:36.050 Taylor Elyse Morrison: I'm so glad that you brought up psychological safety because
00:52:36.860 --> 00:52:50.329 Taylor Elyse Morrison: if we don't feel safe psychologically safe at the place where we spend most of our time. It's going to be really hard for us to be well, like all of these concepts, are tied back into employee wellbeing and to your wellbeing as a leader as well.
00:52:50.730 --> 00:52:51.770 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah.
00:52:52.160 --> 00:52:57.560 Mira Brancu: all right. So I'm sure everybody's now on the edge of their seat. What is the E.
00:52:57.980 --> 00:53:06.769 Taylor Elyse Morrison: The E is being an ecosystems thinker, and so I love Dr. Bronf and Brenner's work on social.
00:53:08.210 --> 00:53:27.819 Taylor Elyse Morrison: He built a social ecological model. There's a whole other school of thought called socio ecology. So I was like, let me not can confuse people on that. And basically the idea is that we have these different ecosystems that are affecting us like you are your own little ecosystem. But then you've got the way that you're relating to the people closest to you, and how
00:53:27.820 --> 00:53:46.450 Taylor Elyse Morrison: bigger things like your organization or your department is affecting you. And so the best leaders who are thinking about how to create well, being on their team, are realizing that all of their team members live within different ecosystems. So this gets back to some of what we were talking about about my experience as a black woman.
00:53:46.500 --> 00:53:52.910 Taylor Elyse Morrison: It's also realizing the way that you, as someone who's in a position of authority.
00:53:53.970 --> 00:54:06.870 Taylor Elyse Morrison: can have a really big impact on your employees. Individual ecosystem. So an example that I see often is. And I had a manager who did something similar, who is like?
00:54:06.870 --> 00:54:30.170 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Thankfully she told me, hey, sometimes, my, I'm up with my kid. I might send an email at 3 Am. I don't expect you to respond to emails. I do think that was really good. I think it would be even better if she just scheduled it to go out during normal work hours, because I've still seen. There's this competition of okay. Well, they did it. So then I need to be up at 6 am. So I can respond right away and keep things moving.
00:54:30.170 --> 00:54:48.569 Taylor Elyse Morrison: and I could go over. And I'm sure you could, too. All these little things that we do that are affecting the ecosystem, whether it's things that we say things that we don't say people that we acknowledge for having a good idea, people that we don't acknowledge. All of these different things are affecting not only
00:54:48.570 --> 00:55:01.990 Taylor Elyse Morrison: the ecosystem of your team, but the ecosystem of your individual employees. So this is really about you. Realizing that there is a ripple effect to your actions, and different employees are going to receive them in different ways.
00:55:01.990 --> 00:55:04.820 Taylor Elyse Morrison: based on the ecosystems that they reside within.
00:55:05.410 --> 00:55:10.409 Mira Brancu: Yeah. And I think this pulls it all together. This is how self care
00:55:11.190 --> 00:55:12.190 Mira Brancu: connects
00:55:12.300 --> 00:55:21.630 Mira Brancu: with making a greater impact. Is this ecosystem? You have such a ripple effect on other people. How you take care of yourself, and how you take care of others
00:55:21.690 --> 00:55:34.279 Mira Brancu: has a ripple effect. Those other people have their families, too, and if they come home satisfied and happy with their jobs and like energized you just now had an impact on the rest of your family
00:55:34.310 --> 00:55:35.639 Mira Brancu: without realizing it.
00:55:35.790 --> 00:55:49.070 Mira Brancu: Right? So, Taylor, if people want to learn more about your work and you know even engage with you. Where can they look? How can they find you.
00:55:49.300 --> 00:55:50.920 Taylor Elyse Morrison: Yeah. So
00:55:51.480 --> 00:56:12.010 Taylor Elyse Morrison: if you go to the inner workout website, inner workout Co, there is a link to our free assessment that measures you across the 5 dimensions of well being up in that top corner. And then there's also a link I didn't even mention, but we've got a whole app as well. And then I also have my own newsletter.
00:56:12.010 --> 00:56:26.529 Taylor Elyse Morrison: that where I talk about kind of the intersection of work and how we feel about work, so those 2 places are the best places to engage with me in our workouts. Got a weekly newsletter, and my newsletter comes out twice a month.
00:56:27.040 --> 00:56:45.029 Mira Brancu: Awesome. I did download the app and loved it. I did take the take care free assessment. And it was really good. Obviously you've listened to Taylor, and she clearly thinks
00:56:45.040 --> 00:56:56.230 Mira Brancu: very deeply and thoughtfully about these things at a level that is deeper than most things on wellness and self care. Which is why I was so excited to talk with her today. So.
00:56:56.270 --> 00:57:05.340 Mira Brancu: audience, what did you take away? And more importantly, what is one small change that you can implement this week, based on what you learned from Taylor.
00:57:05.620 --> 00:57:27.459 Mira Brancu: Share it with us on Linkedin, at Mirabranku, or talk radio dot Nyc. Or Taylor, Elise Morrison. So we can cheer you on. We're also on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, twitch, apple, spotify apple Amazon Podcasts all over the place. So please help us increase our visibility, reach and impact by leaving a review and sharing and commenting and supporting
00:57:27.750 --> 00:57:36.620 Mira Brancu: the stuff we talk about on the show is part of our research based strategic leadership, pathway, roadmap that we also teach in our Tower Scope Leadership Academy.
00:57:36.830 --> 00:57:43.260 Mira Brancu: You can find information about us@www.gotowerscope, dot com.
00:57:43.460 --> 00:57:57.619 Mira Brancu: and thank you to talk radio Nyc for hosting. I am Dr. Mirabranku, your host of the Hard Skills show. Thank you for joining us today with our guest, Taylor, Elise Morrison, and have a great rest of your day wherever you're tuning in from
00:57:57.650 --> 00:57:58.840 Mira Brancu: bye. Everybody.
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