[NEW EPISODE] Selling in a Skirt

Fridays 11:00am - 12:00pm (EDT)

EPISODE SUMMARY:

On this week’s episode of Always FreyDay, Steven is joined by Judy Hoberman, Executive Coach & Consultant, as well as the owner/leader of Selling in a Skirt.

Been-there, Done-that and bought the t-shirt many times...Step into my world of real-life experiences in business, sales, leadership, and life. You'll hear about the highs and lows, the wins and losses, and the invaluable lessons learned along the way. Whether it's one of my hundreds of stories or some practical implementable advice, I'll take you on a journey of personal growth and professional development, offering insights that resonate with the challenges we ALL face. It's a combination of  inspiration, guidance, or simply a dose of motivation, listen in as I share my journey and encourage and empower you to navigate your own path to success in both your professional endeavors and your personal pursuits.

Website-https://sellinginaskirt.com/

LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/in/judyhoberman/

FB-https://www.facebook.com/sellinginaskirt

IG-https://www.instagram.com/sellinginaskirt/

X-https://twitter.com/SellingInASkirt

 #womeninbuisness #leadership #sales #highperformance

Tune in for this sensible conversation at TalkRadio.nyc

Show Notes

‍Segment 1

Segment 2

Segment 3

‍Segment 4

Transcript

00:00:44.960 --> 00:01:04.850 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Well, hello out there, planet Earth and Happy Friday. Hope everyone had a wonderful mother's day this past weekend, and hopefully you didn't eat as much as I did. That was a pretty decent showing on my part any day. Anyway, it's Friday, and it's always Friday with me. Stephen. Fry your Smb. Guy, I see. Why am I? Or in case you missed it?

00:01:05.140 --> 00:01:21.489 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Smb. Stands for small and medium sized business. For the last 20 years I've been a consultant for Smb's, a voice, and a sounding board for our business leaders, advocating on their behalf their employees as well, I believe, very strongly, everyone in sharing stories, providing perspective

00:01:21.490 --> 00:01:37.610 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: and creating connection. So every single Friday you could find me right here on talk radio, Myc, doing just that, lending what's left of my mind and my voice to this radio show riot interview business leaders as well as the folks who steer them in the right direction. Their trusted advisors.

00:01:37.710 --> 00:01:45.610 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: One thing that I've noticed over the years, some of the best thought leadership for business. It actually happens on Friday, right? About that time

00:01:45.650 --> 00:01:47.799 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: we feel the freedom of the weekend coming.

00:01:48.190 --> 00:02:05.259 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: However, we're also anxious to start the weekend, these crucial pearls of wisdom. They're often overlooked. They're forgotten in favor of our fun activities and our freedom from the office. Here on the show, we take advantage of that weekend freedom and clarity, and we like to discuss some popular topics that are on the minds of Smb. Leaders.

00:02:05.260 --> 00:02:21.070 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Once again the name of the show not just to play on words. My last name means free in German. So there is method behind the madness here, people. Once again we grilled about 8 pounds of filet last week which led to this. I didn't. I didn't help my wife clean up, which

00:02:21.070 --> 00:02:37.619 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: I didn't want my mom to find out. But here you go. I'm throwing it out there to the universe out of everybody at my house. Somehow. We didn't get any pictures of any of the moms with us. I'm pretty sure I posed for at least one or 2. We got pictures of the kids. Everybody's always focused on the kids, anyway. So we got my daughters. We got my niece and nephew

00:02:37.620 --> 00:02:46.269 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: plenty plenty going on. I'm really excited for our show today, because I sometimes like you might plan out a theme. You might.

00:02:46.640 --> 00:02:59.630 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It might coincidentally like, walk into a situation. That just kind of serves that time and place, and, you know, hanging with the moms last weekend hung out with my mom hung out with my mother-in-law hung out with my wife, my sister-in-law.

00:02:59.920 --> 00:03:16.610 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Very strong willed women right? I live in a house of all women, so they'd have to be rather strong, will to deal with me on a daily basis. But, you know, celebrating the women in my life was a a great day. Last week. We ate, we drank, we laughed, we cried. Well, mostly, my younger daughter cried, and that's what she does. But

00:03:16.730 --> 00:03:34.410 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: I I like thinking about the strong women in my life. The women who surround me. I couldn't think of a more appropriate time to have the discussion with my special guest today which revolves all around selling in a skirt. I love the name of this company. I love the name of your book. Are you a sales professional, stuck in a rut.

00:03:34.530 --> 00:03:40.470 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: while many of us have those moments, it happens. Are you a sales manager trying to direct women in your company?

00:03:40.780 --> 00:03:44.359 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Let's face it. If you're trying to direct salespeople in general.

00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:46.890 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: you might have some challenges.

00:03:47.040 --> 00:03:53.959 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It kind of comes with the personalities that salespeople typically exhibit, which very often can make them successful, too

00:03:54.230 --> 00:03:58.729 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: engaging with salespeople, and how salespeople engage with their prospects.

00:03:58.750 --> 00:04:01.720 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It has little to do with what you're saying

00:04:01.820 --> 00:04:04.720 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: and lots to do with how you're saying it.

00:04:04.880 --> 00:04:11.999 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: There are invaluable and proven insights into how gender differences can affect sales, outcomes and the tools

00:04:12.190 --> 00:04:17.539 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: and strategies to drive real results. In today's marketplace, especially today's marketplace

00:04:17.649 --> 00:04:23.750 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: addition, there are plenty of humorous stories which you know I love to share about how men and women sell.

00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:32.160 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: about how they manage their teams, about how they lead their teams, which is always a difference between management and leadership, how they recruit, how they supervise differently.

00:04:32.190 --> 00:04:40.140 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And we're going to chat just a little bit more today about all of that. Learning how both genders can support each other's successes in a more productive way.

00:04:40.180 --> 00:04:52.939 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Talk is cheap. We're on talk radio. NYC. We don't want this to just be talk the goal here once again, people, let's use the insight on the business landscape and create some more impact on Monday morning. That's the idea.

00:04:53.120 --> 00:05:05.859 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Far too often the businesses I deal with and consult with on a daily basis. They're focused on some type of product, some type of shiny new mouse trap, magic wand. What have you that's going to fix all of their problems and make everything okay.

00:05:06.590 --> 00:05:16.649 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Products change every single day in everything that we do. I just bought the sonos arc soundbar for the new TV in the basement. Holy crap! Is that different from the first soundbar that I ever bought.

00:05:16.660 --> 00:05:25.520 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: whether you're talking personal or business products change every day. There's no substitute for surrounding yourself with the right people. First, we're all people people

00:05:25.780 --> 00:05:37.659 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: and keep a focus on the process that's going to help you achieve your goal. Some type of tangible plan of execution. You do that. The right products will present themselves. They'll be there when they're needed. Everything begins and ends with people.

00:05:37.740 --> 00:05:41.410 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So I know I have the right person here with me today, because

00:05:41.490 --> 00:05:45.240 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: if we're calling this show selling in a skirt, she wrote the book on it.

00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:51.300 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Our special guest is Judy Hoberman. She's an executive coach and founder of selling in a skirt.

00:05:51.560 --> 00:05:57.760 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So Judy, also president of Judy Hoberman, associates a company focused on empowering professional women.

00:05:57.820 --> 00:06:04.859 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: She's an award-winning international speaker, best selling author, trainer and leading authority on women in leadership

00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:14.430 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: with over 3 decades in the business she combines wisdom and humor with her behavior. Shaping activities often described as transformational

00:06:14.450 --> 00:06:24.959 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Judy works with companies supporting their diversity and women's initiatives in the areas of sales leadership, recruiting, training, and retention through executive coaching and strategic mastermind groups.

00:06:25.190 --> 00:06:35.959 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: She was a Tedx speaker, talking about pre-judging people which I'm a big, don't judge a book by its cover type of fan. She's the author of 4 books, speaking of which, including selling in a skirt

00:06:35.990 --> 00:06:41.139 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: and walking on the glass floor, which I'm very excited to hear more of a little bit more about today.

00:06:41.200 --> 00:06:46.969 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Judy's mission to help one woman a day by following an important philosophy.

00:06:47.150 --> 00:06:51.139 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Women want to be treated equally, not identically.

00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:54.990 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Judy is also the host of her own podcast called

00:06:55.070 --> 00:06:56.340 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Wait for it.

00:06:56.580 --> 00:06:58.040 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: selling it a skirt.

00:06:58.080 --> 00:07:19.270 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: The show is about women in business, both inside and outside, the home work, life, balance, leadership and current events. It's a connection to women nationally, internationally, globally, as the host, Judy embraces the opportunity to brag about her guests, promote them and their business, so that listeners have access to them. It's a conversation, not an interrogation, and she does her homework.

00:07:19.510 --> 00:07:22.530 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: which sounds eerily like somebody else. I know

00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:52.019 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Judy's a blast great philosophy based on tons of experience as someone who's been in sales for an entire career. She's the goods baby similar to my mother. She doesn't mince words and tells exactly like it is so couldn't be more appropriate. That last weekend was mother's day. Be prepared to be inspired, motivated, and challenged. We'll talk about my favorite questions around movies, TV and music, as we tend to do, joining us this morning from sunny Texas before we kicked off this last weekend before Memorial Day, Judy.

00:07:52.240 --> 00:07:54.990 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Welcome to always Friday. So happy you're here with me. Finally.

00:07:58.110 --> 00:07:59.559 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: we do need to take you off. You.

00:07:59.720 --> 00:08:01.880 Judy Hoberman: Okay. Hello! How are you?

00:08:02.110 --> 00:08:04.940 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It's great to see you happy. Friday.

00:08:04.940 --> 00:08:07.890 Judy Hoberman: Same to you, and you do your homework as well.

00:08:07.890 --> 00:08:15.109 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: I do. I'm not going to lie. I am a stickler for certain details, but I've worked in the world of sales for a long time, Judy.

00:08:15.130 --> 00:08:23.469 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: there is no shortage of material around this topic. We're going to chat about today, and the more I get to know you, the more fascinated I am by your story

00:08:23.870 --> 00:08:30.460 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: like me. I think everyone else out there is going to love hearing about the founders journey. So let's dive into it.

00:08:30.540 --> 00:08:34.000 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Let's hear a little bit about how you got where you are today. Lay it on us.

00:08:34.539 --> 00:09:00.499 Judy Hoberman: So I have always been in sales, and I started out and fuller brush. So if any of you are old enough to know fuller brush, and I know how old you are. But I the the reason I mentioned that first is because I learned a humongous lesson about sales, and the very first door that I knocked on was my mom. And I thought, This is how you start your career. So I knock on the door. I do the whole thing, and I give her my whole spiel. And she said.

00:09:00.599 --> 00:09:01.569 Judy Hoberman: No.

00:09:01.801 --> 00:09:08.508 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: By the way, I'm not the most politically correct person by any stretch of the imagination, but I love to say vintage instead of old. It just makes me.

00:09:08.740 --> 00:09:10.882 Judy Hoberman: Yeah. Well, I I just like to say, seasoned.

00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:12.429 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And experience. It just makes.

00:09:12.430 --> 00:09:20.820 Judy Hoberman: Experience. Yes, anyway. So my mom said no. And then she explained it. She said, just because somebody loves you, they're not gonna buy something they don't need.

00:09:21.410 --> 00:09:22.280 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Absolutely.

00:09:22.480 --> 00:09:45.712 Judy Hoberman: But because somebody loves you, they're gonna share you with their friends. And that's what she did. She gave me referrals, I mean, really, who wants to buy brushes and brooms and stuff like that. But the truth of the matter was that kind of set my whole career in sales, because I thought, if you're nice and you know your business, everybody's gonna say yes to you, which is the furthest from the truth. But they have to know like and trust you anyway. So go from full brush. I went to

00:09:46.030 --> 00:09:49.789 Judy Hoberman: commercial roofing. I was in sales and commercial roofing, the only female.

00:09:50.210 --> 00:10:10.520 Judy Hoberman: and then a lot of other things, and then I finally landed in financial services, and that was where I belonged, because for some reason I just understood the whole premise about building relationships. I didn't know the products. I didn't know anything else. I learned those. But I knew about how to build relationships. And that's really what I did. So I did that for years.

00:10:10.520 --> 00:10:12.800 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And services. They change every day, too.

00:10:12.800 --> 00:10:37.560 Judy Hoberman: Totally. Totally. And and because the company I was with we built our own products, and they change every minute, you know. And you have all these people coming in and saying, Well, you know you can't do it this way. You have to do it this way. Blah! Blah blah blah, anyway. Long story short, I ended up with 3 agencies of my own, went to the corporate side, and you know, corporate side stayed there for a couple of years, and then I left. And because it wasn't the right space for me, and I realized

00:10:37.590 --> 00:10:43.559 Judy Hoberman: if I was starting all over, what I would have wanted was somebody that looked like me, not somebody that

00:10:43.590 --> 00:10:55.329 Judy Hoberman: you know physically look like me, the female that would have understood being, you know, a single mom and all this kind of stuff. And so I became that person, and I started my company in 2,009 and just kept going.

00:10:55.940 --> 00:11:02.569 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So 15 years at this point, how do you feel? You seem energized all the time, so it's got to feel good.

00:11:02.570 --> 00:11:17.850 Judy Hoberman: It. It is, it is, and I love what I do. I mean. The pandemic gave us all that kind of shift, and my word, for the year was shifting. And who knew how pers you know how relevant that was gonna be? But in reality I get to do what I love every single day, and the things I don't love. I don't do.

00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:46.399 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So yeah, these days, a lot of times, especially with our access to information. You know, folks like you who are entrepreneurs and off on your own and acting as a trusted advisor to folks out there. Small medium sized businesses having something like a weekly newsletter is almost like table stakes, right like it's something you gotta do. And I feel crazy that I've generated so much content over the last 3 and a half years, and I haven't done something like that. But you you've been doing one as of late, and and the whole thing is titled dare to be different. Is that like the name of the of the Newsletter Series.

00:11:46.400 --> 00:11:49.999 Judy Hoberman: No, that. No, that was today's. Today's theme was dared to be different.

00:11:50.000 --> 00:12:07.589 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: WI couldn't think of a more appropriate time for you to drop that kind of a newsletter on somebody like me, and I I told you before, I love it. When a special guest of mine has such great content that's so clearly laid out on their website. It makes my my digging up dirt and doing my research infinitely easier so, and thank you for that.

00:12:07.825 --> 00:12:08.060 Judy Hoberman: Welcome.

00:12:08.060 --> 00:12:24.300 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Dropping a newsletter so timely like this morning that says Dare to be different, like, I just gotta before we go to the next segment, and we dive full blast into this like like what was what was the impetus to post what you did? Because that like that whole thing was awesome, and I am. Gonna tell people about it in just a moment.

00:12:24.590 --> 00:12:39.270 Judy Hoberman: Yeah, I you know, I think that a lot of times. What we do is we try to come up with what's really relevant in that moment, and for some reason this week a lot of people were talking about. I I feel like I'm you know, just part of the whole thing I want to stand out. I want to be different. And so there you go.

00:12:39.500 --> 00:12:42.800 Judy Hoberman: and the S, for skirt means standing out anyway. So just so you know that.

00:12:43.113 --> 00:12:48.130 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: I like that. I like that standing out, Steve. Whatever it is, you know it's cool.

00:12:48.130 --> 00:12:55.670 Judy Hoberman: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it really means, what what makes you unique? What? What makes you different? What? Why do people want to work with you. Why are they raising the hand and saying, Pick me.

00:12:55.950 --> 00:12:56.610 Judy Hoberman: you know it's.

00:12:56.610 --> 00:13:18.670 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It's funny, cause, like, you know, obviously, this is something that you're very used to, and and working with people on, kind of clarifying their messages and getting them into a better space to present the best version of themselves. I I stopped by one of my friends houses yesterday, Adam Patrousi. He was a guest on the show a couple of months back. He's a head of product for a company called the Natural Dog Company, and he was kicking around some branding ideas.

00:13:18.670 --> 00:13:34.039 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: and before he knew it I had got stopped by his house to get out of mine because my kids were home already, and I I needed to get some work done, and I ended up sitting there kicking around ideas for his company for the next 2 h, which, you know I always relish the opportunity to do something like that. But I I still have to get my work done.

00:13:34.210 --> 00:13:39.919 Judy Hoberman: Right. But but it's easier for you to do things like that, because you're not close enough to his business. And you can see things.

00:13:40.450 --> 00:13:43.659 Judy Hoberman: So, yeah, I mean, I love to do that because it's it's different.

00:13:43.660 --> 00:13:54.970 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Impartial viewpoint, and it's something that's come up on my show. Time and time again is the closer you are to something, the harder it can often be to explain it to everybody else. And I really definitely believe in that. We gotta take a quick break.

00:13:54.970 --> 00:13:55.380 Judy Hoberman: 'kay.

00:13:55.380 --> 00:14:02.370 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: We will be right back with the one, the only Judy Hooverman, executive coach consultant, speaker, author. She does it all

00:14:02.400 --> 00:14:06.769 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: selling in a skirt as well as Judy Hoberman and associates. Stay with us people. We'll be back.

00:16:23.780 --> 00:16:45.749 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Welcome back everybody. It's Friday. It's always Friday. It's me, Stephen Fry, your Smb. Guy, but it's not just me. We're here with Judy Hoberman. She's an executive coach, a speaker and author, a trainer. She does it. All her company is selling in a skirt as well as Judy Hoberman, and associates, her book, her podcast selling in a skirt, awesome branding, awesome concept, love it.

00:16:45.920 --> 00:16:49.399 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Judy, before we dive into the method behind your madness.

00:16:49.500 --> 00:17:04.779 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: I wanted to just sit out by the fire pit, as I often do, and just give a quick perspective on the situation. I worked with some powerhouse women at my 9 to 5 full time job at Engage Peo, and they actually posted some pictures of of themselves this morning. Awesome crew

00:17:04.849 --> 00:17:32.190 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: and very seasoned professionals. But what we're gonna talk about here today is is so important to me. It's like, I, I think I mentioned to you the first half of my career was a lot of technical knowledge. You know what you say, how to put the gun together and take it apart. And you know, as of late, it's a hell of a lot more about. It's not what you say. It's how you say it. It's what they hear. It's how they feel. All that good stuff right. So going back to your newsletter regarding Dare to be different, right

00:17:32.390 --> 00:17:57.040 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: I that I can't tell you how that hit me this morning, because when I, when I watched the video that's in the link, I'm gonna read some like an excerpt from it and everything. But I'm a big music guy, and there's an outdoor concert start tonight by the beach in Central Jersey. And I'm I'm hoping that the weather holds out. I really wanna go to it. But yeah, this. This hit, this hit home really nicely with me. So it says, when you think about it, we were exposed to leadership early on

00:17:57.040 --> 00:18:16.069 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: with Simon, says one person would make a move or do something and say, Simon says, Touch your toes, and we all did. Eventually we all had a chance to be Simon, and maybe some of us took it to another level by suggesting we do something that was really tough, like standing on one foot while you twirled around and threw a ball in the air that you had to catch behind you

00:18:16.620 --> 00:18:22.679 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: that could have eliminated a lot of the participants, while at the same time we would all say, Wow, that's pretty cool.

00:18:22.850 --> 00:18:26.370 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And a leader was born right now.

00:18:26.620 --> 00:18:36.510 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: like Judy says, I want you to use your imagination and visualize the birth of a leader, and a movement which, since I love screwing around with the green screen, I'm going to put it up there behind me as well.

00:18:37.050 --> 00:18:41.069 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Judy was watching a video called Leadership from a dancing guy

00:18:41.210 --> 00:18:55.649 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: where an entire movement was created in less than 3 min. I love representations like this, Judy. This is so awesome to get a point out to people. So you know, Judy says in in the newsletter, close your eyes and imagine you're at a music festival.

00:18:55.880 --> 00:19:13.300 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Okay? And I'll you know I'll help you guys along with some of my visual antics. There's a song blaring over the loudspeaker, and people are sitting on the grass enjoying the weather, the music, and each other. Out of nowhere comes a young man who is dubbed the Shirtless Dancing Guy, and he starts dancing by himself.

00:19:13.780 --> 00:19:18.529 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: just dancing away and having a blast. What happens next is amazing.

00:19:18.600 --> 00:19:41.130 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And this is actually part of the official transcript of the video, which will, we'll probably throw in the show notes when all is said and done. So listen for what's happening as well as the lessons. Right. A leader needs the guts to stand alone and look ridiculous. Let me say that again. A leader needs the guts to stand alone and look ridiculous. But what they're doing is so simple it's almost instructional.

00:19:41.190 --> 00:19:53.780 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: This is key. You have to be easy to follow right? So then you have the first follower that comes along, and they play a crucial role because that person publicly shows everyone how to follow.

00:19:53.800 --> 00:20:00.990 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: You notice how the leader kind of embraces it as an equal right equal, not identical intent.

00:20:01.020 --> 00:20:04.789 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So it's not about the leader anymore. It's about them plural

00:20:05.190 --> 00:20:25.830 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: notice. He's also calling his friends to join in. Ultimately it takes guts to be a first follower, you stand out and potentially brave. Ridicule yourself. Being a first follower, is an underappreciated form of leadership. I thought that was a stellar point. With all of this the first follower transforms a lone nut

00:20:25.940 --> 00:20:33.499 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: into a leader which you know I could. I don't think you guys have to stretch the imagination. Sometimes I look like a lone nut. The second follower is a turning point.

00:20:33.770 --> 00:20:39.249 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It's proof the first has done well. Now it's not a lone nut, and it's not

00:20:39.530 --> 00:20:45.090 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: 2. It's it's not 2 nuts. 3 is a crowd, and a crowd is news.

00:20:45.190 --> 00:21:12.709 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So, Judy, I loved that 7. That was a real fun way for me to kick off the morning and get into this conversation. This is the method part of the show. The method. Part of the show refers to the science behind what you do, and not a crazy interrogation list just like you. But the thoughts are, what do you do, how do you do it? And how do you go to market for it? And something like this, like just the idea of making a movement, you know a lot of what I do. I'm trying to make some movements happen here, too.

00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:20.449 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And I thought this was just a stellar point and a stellar way to start it off. So let's dive into it. Talk to everybody a little bit about the method behind Judy's madness.

00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:26.859 Judy Hoberman: So the method behind my madness. When I first started out I had

00:21:27.400 --> 00:21:48.370 Judy Hoberman: no one to talk to the only person I had, or the only people I had was the company I had just resigned from, so I had to create my own movement. I I knew nobody. I was in Dallas. I knew no one. I wasn't married at the time my kids were grown, and here I am by myself. So I decided the way I was gonna start doing my my business was I was gonna speak.

00:21:48.480 --> 00:22:03.669 Judy Hoberman: and I spoke everywhere. I every chamber, every rotary, every association, every everything you could think of. I spoke there. Okay, so yeah, that sounds great, and everything. And people were saying, Oh, do you know, Judy, help me? She's awesome where no one knew me before. However, they were not my people.

00:22:05.270 --> 00:22:23.770 Judy Hoberman: So lots of people knew me. But there was no financial exchange anywhere, because Number one, they didn't know what I did and number 2. They weren't my people, so I had to become intentional very quickly, and it real. I can't say very quickly, because this probably took me about 3 or 4 months to realize that there was nothing coming in.

00:22:24.470 --> 00:22:35.279 Judy Hoberman: And besides, you know, when you when you resign, you lose your severance to just gonna throw that out there, anyway. So here I am, and I decide I'm going to be very intentional. So I know that my market were women.

00:22:35.380 --> 00:22:59.210 Judy Hoberman: But women is a big category. So I had to decide. You know they were going to be executive women, and so on and so forth. But then I also had to start seating it, so I didn't have a follower to, you know. Make sure that I was the leader, so what I had to do was, I would have to say so when I was with my coaching client, Steve, and here, blah blah blah, or when I was my, you know, when I was in a corporate setting with ABC blah blah! Blah!

00:22:59.210 --> 00:23:07.030 Judy Hoberman: I want to have to start saying things, and they would say, Oh, you're a coach! Oh, you're a trainer. All of a sudden things started to make sense

00:23:07.030 --> 00:23:11.219 Judy Hoberman: as opposed to just being that lone nut because I was a lone nut. For a long time.

00:23:11.220 --> 00:23:21.580 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And and the jury might still be out with me. But but the video that that you shared with everybody so meaningful, so impactful. And again. Within 3 min.

00:23:21.580 --> 00:23:22.389 Judy Hoberman: That that really.

00:23:22.390 --> 00:23:25.179 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Low nut, create an entire movement.

00:23:25.420 --> 00:23:48.889 Judy Hoberman: And nobody wanted to be the one sitting anymore. They all wanted to get up because they wanted to be part of. Most people want to be part of. They don't wanna be E, even though you know, you wanna be unique and everything else. The truth of the matter is, people wanna belong somewhere. So they all belong to in this music video and in the music festival. They all belong now, and it was very funny to watch it cause it really is only 3 min. Seriously, only 3 min.

00:23:48.890 --> 00:23:50.410 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Never with social media, like.

00:23:50.410 --> 00:23:51.090 Judy Hoberman: Yeah.

00:23:51.090 --> 00:24:04.049 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: The Fomo factor is rampant like even me, right like this. This like this band's a grateful dead cover band that's playing at at the Jersey shore later tonight in a venue that I go to all summer when my kids are at Sleep Boy Camp, because I can actually get out and do stuff.

00:24:04.390 --> 00:24:12.949 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: None of nobody's making any noise about it, probably because Memorial Day weekend is universally considered to be. Oh, this is when we can actually start.

00:24:12.950 --> 00:24:14.110 Judy Hoberman: Beginning of the summer. Yeah.

00:24:14.110 --> 00:24:35.820 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Not for me, because since I moved to the suburbs, more Memorial Day weekend means dance recital for my daughters. So every single one has been shot since I moved to the suburbs. But it I'm like, yeah, if if the rain holds out which it looks like, it might, it might just be overcast later. I'm definitely going to this thing. But it's a lot of it's because it was like, how can I miss out on this band playing 20 min from my house in this venue.

00:24:35.820 --> 00:24:58.580 Judy Hoberman: Yeah, yeah. But but that's you know, that's what happens. And you know, when you said social media in with social media, you can, you can really create a movement, you really can. And some of the things that that I do which actually helps bring awareness is when I write articles like, if I was writing this Newsletter and I was referring to an article I would tag the, you know, whatever the publication is.

00:24:58.580 --> 00:25:19.910 Judy Hoberman: I would tag the the contributing writer. I would tag anybody that has anything to do with it, because all of a sudden you start to see people, you know, like I've gotten so many people that have written articles following me now, or I have. You know big companies are following me because I tag them. They don't do it right away, but they watch. You know those are the silent watchers. But yeah, that's.

00:25:19.910 --> 00:25:24.370 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And with my stuff even right to the beginning, I'm just a 3 and a half years too late or so. But yeah, it's never too late.

00:25:24.570 --> 00:25:31.520 Judy Hoberman: Yeah, yeah, I mean, but you. But you learn things as you go along. That's the thing. And and it does change every day.

00:25:32.040 --> 00:25:53.859 Judy Hoberman: And Linkedin is no different. Linkedin lost. They deleted my newsletter and all my followers, all my subscribers, not follow all my subscribers. Oh, gone! And when I asked them about it, they said, I don't know. You must have done it. I'm like what? First, why, second, how? I don't even know how to do that. And so after about 2 or 3 weeks of them escalating it, we just started all over again.

00:25:54.150 --> 00:26:08.409 Judy Hoberman: and we told everybody, Hey, you know, if you were part of our subscriber list, please resubscribe. And here's what happened. And people just started resubscribing because we told everybody I mean it was we just called it, you know, you know, a human error. We don't know which human it was, but wasn't us.

00:26:08.980 --> 00:26:10.580 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So back to our movement right.

00:26:10.580 --> 00:26:11.230 Judy Hoberman: Yes.

00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:28.519 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: The the commentary for this was a movement must be public, that and this also kind of relates to the social media and promo piece of things make sure outsiders see more than just the leader. Everyone needs to see the followers, because new followers emulate followers, not the leader.

00:26:28.791 --> 00:26:47.269 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: which is, which is kind of an empowering thing. I mean the whole. The whole mantra with talk radio, Nyc is uplift, educate and empower. And that's, you know, for leadership wise. That's a big thing to be able to empower people to do things on their own. Now here come 2 more, then 3 more. Now we've got momentum. This is the tipping point for a movement

00:26:47.270 --> 00:27:10.909 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: as more people jump in. It's no longer seen as a lone nut. It's no longer seen as risky if they were on the fence before. There was no reason not to join. Now, when I saved this picture on the computer, I called it the in crowd like they'll be part of the in crowd if they hurry right so like it back in the article it says like in the newsletter. It's like. Now open your eyes. Can you see how leadership can be created? Whether it's Simon says.

00:27:10.910 --> 00:27:32.330 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: or the or the crazy, low nut dancing Guy leaders can be anyone who take the lead and run with it. And this is actually, it's a very, it's a conversation I get into all the time, because a lot of times I can be a leader, and so can even my daughters like they'll try to be directors and seize the reins. But my wife not so much like she likes. She likes to follow folks like, so she likes someone to kind of set the stage before she runs with it.

00:27:32.930 --> 00:27:33.540 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Well, you know.

00:27:33.540 --> 00:27:37.880 Judy Hoberman: It's very interesting, because my husband is a retired colonel.

00:27:38.070 --> 00:27:59.750 Judy Hoberman: and he was on my my when I had my live radio he was on, and then he's been on a few times, and he brought up a topic called Followership, and I thought it was a Yogi bear word. I'm like what the heck is followership. And he said, as a leader, you have to know when to lead and when to follow, and they're both really important positions, and if you can't follow, then you can't lead.

00:27:59.900 --> 00:28:00.860 Judy Hoberman: And so, yeah.

00:28:00.860 --> 00:28:05.109 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: I couldn't agree more. I thought, I think that's actually a great sentiment. Yeah.

00:28:05.620 --> 00:28:28.819 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: so yeah, that is, that is something. A lot of times where, especially with salespeople, you know. Talk about whether you're a man or woman, or whatever you identify, as nowadays. It's tough to train salespeople sometimes because some of them do have trouble following right like. And and again, like leadership isn't always leadership. Sometimes it's management, sometimes it's glorified management, right? But

00:28:28.820 --> 00:28:47.880 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: you know, if if people can't, you know, empower other folks to do the best like, you know, bring out the best version of themselves, and then follow themselves like with the movement that they're creating. It's like, then become a spectator, become a follower, become somebody who's coming to the party a couple of minutes later. It gives you almost like a little bit of a different experience and a different perspective.

00:28:47.880 --> 00:28:59.350 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: especially in the world of sales. I don't know. I don't know if you've experienced it the same way I have. You know that type, a dominant, driving ego, expressive type of personality. Sometimes it prevents people from actually letting that happen.

00:28:59.610 --> 00:29:03.290 Judy Hoberman: Right, but you also have to know when you lead and when you when you're the backup dancer.

00:29:03.913 --> 00:29:04.780 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Yup! Yup!

00:29:04.780 --> 00:29:06.720 Judy Hoberman: Because that's that's an important part.

00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:19.849 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: You. You can't be the headliner all the time on the Marquis. Even the most famous stellar athletes, even the most famous actors, you know singers whatever. They're not always the lead name on the marquee period.

00:29:19.850 --> 00:29:23.934 Judy Hoberman: Even if even if they are like. Look at Taylor Swift. Look at her dancers. Everybody.

00:29:24.190 --> 00:29:24.920 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Have your daughters.

00:29:24.920 --> 00:29:37.640 Judy Hoberman: I know, but everybody talks about her dancers, and they know their names, and they know what they're gonna be doing. And they watch for that. I mean, she's amazing. But they're also watching the followers. You know. Their their job is to be the the followers, but they're amazing.

00:29:37.640 --> 00:29:53.679 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: You know, it's funny you say that because my younger daughter, Sloan, she definitely considers herself to be a swifty. And her latest thing that my! That's my younger daughter in the pink on the end. And she she has been playing the Taylor Swift Errors tour, and like

00:29:54.050 --> 00:30:05.710 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: outfit changes and copying everything she does which might seem like it's a follower thing, but she's motivated a bunch of her friends to get up and do the same kind of thing, and like mess around with their own moves and choreography. And I was like

00:30:06.230 --> 00:30:09.349 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: kind of followership kind of leadership. She's motivated.

00:30:09.350 --> 00:30:09.720 Judy Hoberman: Both.

00:30:09.720 --> 00:30:11.830 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: People to get off their butts and do it.

00:30:11.830 --> 00:30:13.460 Judy Hoberman: I rest my case.

00:30:13.731 --> 00:30:32.469 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It gives me actually hope for her developing some some fun skills for the future. But you know, every one day at a time we gotta take a quick break, but we will be right back with Judy Hoberman. She is an executive coach, a leader, a speaker, and author, a trainer in the world of selling in a skirt. Judy Hoberman and associate stay with us, everybody.

00:32:38.080 --> 00:33:01.769 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Welcome back to always Friday with me. Stephen Fry, your Smb. Guy, we are chatting with Judy Hoberman. She's the author of walking on the glass floor and selling in a skirt her company's Judy Hoberman and associates, speaker, trainer, author, coach. She has been around the world of sales for the majority of her career, and helps to make it a little bit more human, a little bit more

00:33:01.840 --> 00:33:14.729 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: focused on bringing out the best in people. Judy, this is the madness part of my show, and this is tends to be my favorite part, because this is the artistic, observational part of what you do. The stories you have from the field.

00:33:14.730 --> 00:33:30.399 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: No subject to taboo. You've been doing it over 3 decades as you mentioned anything goes. Obviously, if you don't wanna compromise any clients. Knucklehead antics confidentiality is always cool. Right? You can always make up another name before we dive full blast into your stories, which I can't wait to hear.

00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:45.140 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: There were a couple of other tidbits that you included in this newsletter, which I had to tee up for the madness, segment, because it talked about the qualities of a successful leader which I think is important. We were kind of getting there in the last Segment, you know, not only the ability to lead, but the ability to follow right?

00:33:45.200 --> 00:34:04.750 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So you right here, the successful leader has a vision which I know a lot of people struggle with. But it's very important. Even, you know, financial advisors, insurance brokers. Anybody who acts as a trusted advisor to small medium sized business a lot of times. They're figuring out where you are now, where you want to go and figure out together how you're gonna get there.

00:34:04.770 --> 00:34:22.340 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: especially as a leader, though you want to make sure the vision is crystal, clear and easy to follow. I always say things like, if you can't tell a consistent story internally, it makes it kind of more difficult to tell one externally not impossible. I'm not the possible police, but it makes it more difficult. Number 2. The successful leaders communicate. Well.

00:34:22.340 --> 00:34:35.720 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: now that you have a vision. You need to share that with others. So those communication lines are open, make the vision short, sweet, and to the point, and make the lines of communication open and accessible. Right? It's not what you say. It's how you say it. The successful leader is supportive.

00:34:35.719 --> 00:34:52.849 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Find out what the team and partners are reaching for help them find a way to begin the journey, to achieve their goals. If someone needs more support, offer it. If someone's needs more support and doesn't want it. Help them to find another position. They might be better suited for be a role model that others can look up to which sometimes is dangerous, because

00:34:52.850 --> 00:35:22.619 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: folks like you and me, Judy, get approached by absolutely everybody about everything, cause they want us to help them help show them the way. But hey, that's all part of the game, baby. The successful leader believes in his or herself. Number 4 as a leader. Your confidence is what others are attracted to. When you speak with confidence, it definitely creates some gravity. They will grow from your mistakes as well as sore from your attitude. Admit when you don't know something, or that you've made a mistake, instead of blaming others, which I still can't believe. How many people I see just trying to pawn it off on others.

00:35:22.620 --> 00:35:41.630 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: When a situation involves others, put your defensive attitude away and listen to those involved, they will tell you what you need to hear, so that you could turn around the negative situation be proactive rather than reactive. I also like the word responsive in there, because has a little bit more positive connotation. Last, but not least, the successful leader creates an environment of motivation and productivity.

00:35:42.040 --> 00:35:56.280 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: The reason I like to throw that out there before we get into your madness, Judy is because I go back to the mother's Day thoughts and the thoughts of the lone nut, because, no matter how clear I am, no matter how great of a leader that I am and how people will sing me praises up and down.

00:35:56.300 --> 00:35:58.710 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: My mom still thinks I'm a complete and lone nut.

00:35:58.940 --> 00:36:00.470 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: which she's probably not wrong.

00:36:00.660 --> 00:36:12.959 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: But yeah, again, it's it comes across in how you communicate, I think, speaking with authority and concreteness is very valuable here. So, Judy, I know you've been around a lot of madness in your day. We want you to share some of it with the audience. Tell us a little bit about your role.

00:36:13.830 --> 00:36:20.195 Judy Hoberman: So when when I was, I think the madness was more when I was in the corporate side. I think that's where most of the.

00:36:20.450 --> 00:36:21.175 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Probably.

00:36:21.900 --> 00:36:27.900 Judy Hoberman: Pretty pretty sure that's where the madness was. But you know it's very difficult, because you have to be able to, you know.

00:36:27.930 --> 00:36:30.900 Judy Hoberman: Put yourself into that container

00:36:30.970 --> 00:36:32.810 Judy Hoberman: that they want you to fill.

00:36:32.870 --> 00:36:45.510 Judy Hoberman: But a lot of times I had to go outside. I had to make sure that people were were being unique and understanding what they were doing. And I'll tell you a really weird story. I mean, it's a funny story. It was embarrassing by.

00:36:45.930 --> 00:36:52.839 Judy Hoberman: You can't even imagine. So we did a lot of Medicare, and we did a lot of Medicare advantage and

00:36:53.050 --> 00:37:05.410 Judy Hoberman: everything like that. Those those trainings are very long. So we did a lot of those trainings, and they'd be 8 h, and then you'd fly, and you go someplace else get something to eat. Go to sleep. You do it again, and we would do things like 16 cities in 17 days.

00:37:05.430 --> 00:37:29.400 Judy Hoberman: But one day they wanted me to talk about how a claim is processed. Now I'm not claims I don't process claims I don't train on claims. So I had to come up with a different way of of talking about it, because inevitably what would happen is as an agent, you would get a call from somebody saying, Hey, this wasn't covered, or this is out of network. But blah! Blah blah! So you have to be able to prepare yourselves for this. So

00:37:29.460 --> 00:37:37.920 Judy Hoberman: I get up there. And I'm talking about the first thing that happens is the claim is brought into. You know, the claims department and it goes to onto into the computer. And

00:37:38.220 --> 00:37:40.389 Judy Hoberman: it depends on what what they're looking for.

00:37:40.840 --> 00:37:59.499 Judy Hoberman: And I said, Just think of it as what did I call it? Like a a Mega highway, or something like that? I can't remember exactly what I said. But then I said, Okay, so that's not clear enough. So let me tell you what happens. What happens is the claim comes in, and then it's like it has, an it's like an octopus, and it has 8 different testicles.

00:38:00.069 --> 00:38:00.639 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And.

00:38:00.640 --> 00:38:02.250 Judy Hoberman: The whole place.

00:38:02.250 --> 00:38:02.800 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: We've got.

00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:04.820 Judy Hoberman: The whole place went Boop

00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:10.220 Judy Hoberman: and I just continue talking, and the person that was standing behind stage with me, he said.

00:38:10.380 --> 00:38:21.739 Judy Hoberman: tentacles, tentacles. I looked, I said, Yeah, I said that he goes. No, he didn't, and they're all now. By this time they're all cracking up. And I went. Did I say testicles. So I said it twice now, and they're all cracking up.

00:38:22.070 --> 00:38:23.960 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Everyone has to remember that speech, Judy.

00:38:23.960 --> 00:38:27.020 Judy Hoberman: Everyone well, and they also remembered how a claims was paid. Now.

00:38:27.518 --> 00:38:29.012 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: That's even better.

00:38:29.510 --> 00:38:47.709 Judy Hoberman: Because now they realize, you know, just picture the octopus, whatever part you wanna say of the octopus and the claim, you know. So yeah. So that was like a a really weird one. It was a really weird one. But I mean, I had lots of clients that also you drive you up a wall. You know I have clients that would

00:38:47.800 --> 00:38:59.929 Judy Hoberman: tell you something that you know wasn't true. And you, you know you're doing an application, and you know it's not true, and you know you have to keep asking in different ways, and they keep telling you, you know, like a woman told me.

00:38:59.930 --> 00:39:00.335 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Nice.

00:39:00.740 --> 00:39:07.840 Judy Hoberman: Well, a woman said to me that she has. You know she has a diagnosis from her doctor that she has in a large prostate.

00:39:08.170 --> 00:39:14.986 Judy Hoberman: And I said, excuse me. And she said, Yeah, I haven't a large prostate. And this is back in the nineties. Okay? So we're not talking about.

00:39:15.230 --> 00:39:16.710 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: After, who told you this? Right.

00:39:16.710 --> 00:39:20.650 Judy Hoberman: And I said, Do you have that in writing? And she said, I'm sure I do. And I said

00:39:20.700 --> 00:39:24.010 Judy Hoberman: in a large prostate, she said, yes, like.

00:39:24.350 --> 00:39:33.210 Judy Hoberman: I mean it. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. It wasn't true. I mean so. And you just keep going. And you say, Okay, well, you're gonna get a call from an underwriter, you know. Just make sure that you know whatever. So you have.

00:39:33.210 --> 00:39:35.659 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: You're prepared to explain the prostate discussion.

00:39:35.910 --> 00:39:48.375 Judy Hoberman: Or you know, or people would say to me, Well, you know, just guess how old I am, or guess how much I weigh. I'm like I can't play that game. But you know, with like these things like that that just make you crazy. And you're just like, just tell me, please just tell me I I don't want to do that. However.

00:39:48.570 --> 00:39:52.389 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: First wants to ask you how much money it is I can't tell you without the phrase or the question.

00:39:52.390 --> 00:39:58.069 Judy Hoberman: Alright, but then they'll say to you, they'll tell you how old they are. And you, I'm thinking to myself, oh.

00:39:58.110 --> 00:40:03.210 Judy Hoberman: you're younger than I am. Wow, you know, or you're older than I am. Wow! Or you.

00:40:03.210 --> 00:40:05.429 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Did you have a prostate? Wow!

00:40:05.580 --> 00:40:30.090 Judy Hoberman: I said your head, but I mean, you know it was. It was a lot of fun. Going out on my own was very different, because you don't ask those kind of questions because it doesn't matter. But you do ask. You know questions about where you are, where you'd like to be. And you know all those kind of things. And how are you doing with your productivity, or how are you doing? And this? Or do you need help with clarity. And you ask these questions, and sometimes even people that you know what they do. You have no idea what they're telling you. And you're thinking

00:40:30.630 --> 00:40:54.360 Judy Hoberman: what? And 5 min later they're still talking about what it is that they do. And you still don't understand. And so, you know, you have to be really have to be professional all the time, and I always ask a question. I'll say so. Tell me what that looks like, and then I don't say anything, because then they tell me this is what it looks like. This is what you know. So I just get them to talk. I'm I'm the question, Queen, but I always ask open ended questions because I want to give somebody the space to respond.

00:40:54.590 --> 00:41:10.529 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Yes, no, I love open ended questions. I love very purposeful silences. I love just opening up the floor for people to spill their guts. But it's I'm astounded at this point of my life and career at how many people like, especially ones who have been in sales a long time, if it's like 1520 years plus.

00:41:10.710 --> 00:41:13.910 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And they just show up and throw up product knowledge.

00:41:14.130 --> 00:41:15.070 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And I.

00:41:15.070 --> 00:41:15.790 Judy Hoberman: Who cares?

00:41:15.790 --> 00:41:17.673 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Compute them. Nobody cares like.

00:41:18.140 --> 00:41:21.930 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It's like they get the same email 40 times a day of with everything you just said.

00:41:22.460 --> 00:41:42.725 Judy Hoberman: Yeah, and a, and and that's the, you know. That's truly the problem. And I always tell people people don't care how much you know, really. Just ask them a question and get them involved in the conversation, and then they'll tell you everything that they need to tell you. But you'll be able to have this in. You know a condensed version. Nobody cares that you know how much you know about that. Ho! I can recite the whole brochure. Who cares.

00:41:42.970 --> 00:41:44.909 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Octopus with the a testicles. That's what they're gonna

00:41:46.627 --> 00:42:09.880 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: that's you know what funny is like that, Judy. Like they they make my world go around. I feel like it's like something like that that could be like an embarrassing moment. It's like we're especially, you know. Listen, you should. We're all vulnerable. We're all people. First, you know, you show vulnerability. You do a live show. And the Internet goes out to your house on something like this. Yeah, it's a vulnerable moment, and everything. But it's like, Oh, my God! Did I just say testicles? I said it again, didn't I.

00:42:09.880 --> 00:42:10.920 Judy Hoberman: Yeah, that. And everybody.

00:42:10.920 --> 00:42:13.819 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Remember how everyone's gonna remember how that claim gets processed.

00:42:14.110 --> 00:42:37.540 Judy Hoberman: Well, you know, it's it's funny, because when I first started working and and speaking and everything I had, I worked with a an ad agency, and they did all the Pr. And everything. And so the very first time I was gonna be working with him in person, he said, I want to see you speak where he's speaking, and I told him where I was speaking. And I you know I knew the room and everything else. And he said to me, right before I started speaking, he said, he said, I hope something goes wrong.

00:42:37.771 --> 00:42:54.918 Judy Hoberman: I said. Why, he said, cause I want to see you think on your feet, and I thought, Well, that's pretty crappy. You don't say that to somebody, anyway, I go in, and they had changed the room. So, instead of being this large room round, it was like a rectangular room, and where you had to stand in the middle. If you wanted to see everybody. Every time you stood there you'd hear

00:42:55.760 --> 00:43:22.000 Judy Hoberman: in the microphone, and so you couldn't. You couldn't move at all, and I'm I like to move, and I like to talk to my hands, so I'd move to the left. I moved to the right, and it's screeching, so I knew I had to stand in one space. So what I had to do was I said, Okay, everybody here, you're gonna see me talking first, and then I'm gonna flip around. So you're not gonna have the best angle that side, you know. And so he was cracking up from that point he took me to this office building because I was going to be on Cnn. Cnn. Headlines.

00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:38.549 Judy Hoberman: He didn't tell me that before. It was an empty office building. There was no furniture. There was like a potted a a plastic plant. He went to his car. I picked out a pair of pants that was going to the cleaners, put it over this table, so it looked like a tablecloth. And here I am on Cnn. He said one day. We'll laugh about this, I said. I'm laughing now.

00:43:38.550 --> 00:44:05.500 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Yeah, a hundred percent laughing now. And that's yeah. Sometimes that's how some of the best stuff happens, too. But you know, it's all the more reason why? Like, yeah, I wanna see how you think on your feet. Yeah, I IA couple of weeks off I was. I was doing some things from my personal world over the last few weeks. But I had interviewed my buddy, who's a home inspector and also a standup comedian, you know a a while back a couple of weeks ago. And there's actually in corporate America. There's training classes now on improv comedy specifically so you could think on your feet.

00:44:05.500 --> 00:44:08.900 Judy Hoberman: And that's what they should have. I always said that always, always. Yeah.

00:44:09.100 --> 00:44:09.920 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Yeah.

00:44:10.140 --> 00:44:31.934 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: it's funny while you're sitting there telling me these stories I'm thinking about. You know your website and the content. And you know how you have things like the trusted partner types of Logos out there. And I'm just like which one of these is gonna have the octopus with the atesticles as the mascot. I really don't know. But there's definitely a story out there somewhere, so nothing creates stickiness like a funny story like that. Everybody remembers it.

00:44:32.290 --> 00:44:39.259 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: We got to take a we got to take a quick break, but we will be right back with the master, the storyteller, the speaker, author, coach

00:44:39.290 --> 00:44:47.870 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: consultant. Judy Hoberman. Selling in a skirt is one of the books. It's the Mantra companies Judy Hoberman associates. Stay with us, everybody. We'll be right back.

00:46:55.870 --> 00:47:17.979 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Welcome back to always Friday with me, Stephen Fry, your Smb. Guy, we are chatting with Judy Hoberman. She has authored 4 books 2 popular ones. We keep referencing here, selling in a skirt. It's our website. It's her mantra and also walking on the glass floor, which I want you to talk a little bit about that, too, Judy. That was a fun way that that book came up, and I was able to relate to it a little bit.

00:47:17.980 --> 00:47:31.419 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: But this is the end of the show. Here is the message segment, the whole idea. When I started doing this, Judy, during the pandemic from weekend insight to Monday impact. Yes, tons of plays on words with my last name. But if people only hear the

00:47:31.420 --> 00:47:45.680 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: the end of the show here. We want them to hear a couple of sound bites they can really take action on when they go back to the office on Monday, you know, both from your own experiences and your travels, but also from the work that you do in the field with your clients, and you have so much

00:47:45.770 --> 00:47:58.219 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: wisdom and experience to impart on these folks, and like I've made some notes while we're sitting here talking. When I when I think about some messaging here that the whole idea of dare to be different and be that lone nut

00:47:58.280 --> 00:48:09.120 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: is so meaningful to me, like, yeah, especially in my world of even trying to explain things to my mom of things I'm involved in, you know, ventures even my day-to-day 9 to 5 work that I do.

00:48:09.140 --> 00:48:20.800 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: I feel like, no matter how much I simplify it in 60 s like I can get people into it and understanding it. And it's somehow I'm never going to be able to explain it to her. But I'm I'm working on it. Maybe you can help me a little.

00:48:21.170 --> 00:48:30.520 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: But you know, if people only hear the end part of the show. Yeah, what kind of sound bytes can we drop on them to get them to spur into action? I know you have a lot of them, so lay them on us.

00:48:31.490 --> 00:49:00.780 Judy Hoberman: Well, the first thing that I would always say is, know your people, you you need to know your people. Period, end of discussion. What that means is truly, whether you are selling to people, whether you're working with people, whether people are working for you. It doesn't matter. You need to know them, and you need to know what makes them tick. You need to know why they're there, and when I would recruit people I would always say, tell me 3 things that I can expect from you. Tell me 3 things you should you want to expect from me, so I would know my people. I would know their journey. I would know everything about them

00:49:00.820 --> 00:49:18.140 Judy Hoberman: so, and people would stay, and when I do it now with, you know, Hi hiring, and when people are hiring me or when I'm looking for new business, I need to know that they're my people. So I would say that that is something. And and people when they know me they go. I know I didn't get it, because they're not my people. So that's.

00:49:18.140 --> 00:49:40.469 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: We actually, we talked about that. I think it was last week. And it's I saw some things, even some cold emails coming to me about the companies that want me to take their lead generation tools and all that about Icp. Remember ideal client profile, or when I was a kid, insane clown posse, some crazy punk music group. But ideal client profile, you know, knowing really who your ideal client is like. So yeah, knowing your people.

00:49:40.470 --> 00:50:05.970 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: but also knowing who aren't your people. It's almost equally, if not more important. It's like it helps you kinda really know when you're in the right room, you know not not, you know. Not not necessarily around the, you know. Don't be the smartest person in the room. If you are, you're in the wrong room, but, like, you know, know who you know your audience know who you're presenting to, and know if they're you know people who fit your ideal client profile, or if there's somebody who could refer you to your ideal client profile.

00:50:05.970 --> 00:50:06.940 Judy Hoberman: Yeah, yeah.

00:50:06.940 --> 00:50:07.450 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: That.

00:50:08.270 --> 00:50:37.300 Judy Hoberman: And you know there's another thing that my husband's a retired colonel. So when I've talked about the Colonel, that's who it is. So. When I first met the Colonel, he would say things to me like you. You're working too hard, and you're always this and this and this, and there was a very difficult client, and he said, just listen to what I'm going to say to you, he said. People will qualify or disqualify themselves right in front of you. You just have to watch. I had no idea what that meant until I actually saw it. And so there's a thing about knowing your people, and not the people that are not your people. They disqualify themselves.

00:50:37.600 --> 00:50:55.980 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: A, and even some of the things that that you said just now, if you like, you know, telling people, you know, asking people what are 3 things I can expect from you if they can't belt that out like quickly like. And they have to think about it too much, and it sounds contrived. It's like, you know, again, those are necessarily that they're not a fit for what you're interviewing them for. But

00:50:55.980 --> 00:51:12.669 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: it it almost indicates to me. You know, folks who've just been ha been going by a script their entire lives, and they can't. If it's not something that's scripted and rehearsed, they can't figure it out, and that's, you know, goes a long way to the improv comedy types of classes, and being able to think on your feet like the way that you did when you were asked to.

00:51:12.670 --> 00:51:26.900 Judy Hoberman: Yeah. And the other thing is I have a great 4 letter word that I use quite often, and it's next, because people will say something to me that you know, like when we were selling insurance, they would say, everybody's a diabetic. Nobody has money.

00:51:26.900 --> 00:51:43.000 Judy Hoberman: And so I made this bright purple, blingy sign. And every time they would do that I would hold it up, said next. And so after a while, I didn't need to sign anymore. Just go. And they go. And even now, decades later, they'll say something to me on Facebook or Linkedin. I'll go, hey, I just did a next today, you know.

00:51:43.000 --> 00:52:07.340 Judy Hoberman: So yeah, but you, you know, you were talking about walking on the glass floor. And it's it's a very interesting thing, because a lot of the things we're talking about is what happened with walking on the glass floor. I had live radio, like you have. And then I did podcast and I had written books, but I was also a contributing author, and the kernel always said to me, You should write another book. You have so much, so many stories I'm like, I don't want to write a book. I don't want to write a book.

00:52:07.340 --> 00:52:19.020 Judy Hoberman: but what happened was when I did my show I had. I do. I did a monologue in the beginning, kind of like the way you do things. And so each monologue was a different

00:52:19.220 --> 00:52:37.200 Judy Hoberman: portion of leadership, and it turned out it was like 7 different parts of leadership. So I printed out all the monologues. We had hundreds of them, and we just divided them into the quality of a leader, and they were 7 different qualities which is walking on the glass floor. That's how the book came about it wasn't the interviews. It was the monologue about the interviews.

00:52:37.200 --> 00:52:59.029 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: It's it hits home so so much, Judy, cause. That was a a big part of my plan with this from the beginning, and I had like I I wanted to write the book myself, and I'm like, I'm busy as hell with my kids and everything. I spoke to ghost writers. This is like, 3 years ago, after I had just finished doing the first handful of episodes. Now it's like a hundred 50, some odd episodes, and I'm infinitely in a better position to do it.

00:52:59.050 --> 00:53:21.560 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: And I still like, you know, it's it's it's been part of the plan the whole time. I need to get off my ass and do it, and have the right people around me who can help me execute it? But you said something so important there, and I'm glad this is where things went to kinda tie up everything that we've been talking about. This is a sound bite that you see, in a couple of spots on all of your content, and even with some explanation behind it, leadership and sales. They go hand in hand.

00:53:21.910 --> 00:53:26.560 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: right 1 one without the other. It's like it does. It's it's incomplete, right?

00:53:26.560 --> 00:53:27.350 Judy Hoberman: Is.

00:53:27.350 --> 00:53:51.560 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Here. And that's why I feel like when I see so many people showing up and throwing up product detail. I think those people didn't have leaders. They had managers who were asking, Oh, are you at quota for the month? And what how many deals you need to get there? And what are you gonna do in order to get your deals? And it's like you're not empowering them to think for themselves and what works for them? You're trying to manage them, to a number, to a product, to a, to a value instead of

00:53:51.680 --> 00:53:57.780 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: you know them really being able to think on their feet and learning who they are and what they do, and what their differentiators are.

00:53:57.780 --> 00:54:07.370 Judy Hoberman: Yeah. But if, as a leader, you have to sell the opportunities, you have to sell things to your team as a salesperson, you also have to lead if nobody else you have to lead yourself. So

00:54:07.610 --> 00:54:08.920 Judy Hoberman: yeah, that's what it is.

00:54:09.030 --> 00:54:09.510 Judy Hoberman: So.

00:54:09.510 --> 00:54:12.589 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So get in touch with Judy. Judy's like again.

00:54:12.800 --> 00:54:25.680 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: selling in a skirt. Comms, the website emails, Judy at selling in a skirt.com. So yeah, that's this is why I wasn't sure that you were in Texas. I read it somewhere. But you have a Connecticut cell phone number. That's why, I kept thinking you were on the same time zone as me.

00:54:25.680 --> 00:54:26.370 Judy Hoberman: Yeah.

00:54:26.370 --> 00:54:37.149 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So happy you made it here. I know you had some webinars this morning. This is ever since I first met you 6 months ago, or a little bit more. Actually, I was dying for it to interview you on the air. So thank you so much for making.

00:54:37.150 --> 00:54:39.019 Judy Hoberman: Glad it happened so. Thank you.

00:54:39.280 --> 00:55:06.310 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Before I let you go, though we do have to circle back to one crucial element of my madness, which is, I love to ask people questions about movies, TV and music. So I am going to share your answers with everybody. The questions are, who's your favorite movie or TV show character. What's your favorite movie or TV show? What's your favorite musical instrument? And who's the artist? You'd like to hear play it? So without further ado, I would expect nothing less from somebody who works in the world of coaching these days. You said your favorite TV show character is Ted Lasso.

00:55:06.310 --> 00:55:24.200 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: and there's lots of leadership lessons to be learned from Ed Lasso. The one that always resonates with me is, be a goldfish with the 6 s attention span. But yeah, he. He says it will all work out now. It may not work out how you think it will, or how you hope it does, but, believe me, it will all work out exactly as it's supposed to.

00:55:24.370 --> 00:55:27.600 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: if it doesn't, it wasn't supposed to be that way. That's kind of how it is right.

00:55:27.600 --> 00:55:28.559 Judy Hoberman: That's right. That's right.

00:55:28.560 --> 00:55:30.930 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Happens to you, 90% what you do with it.

00:55:31.140 --> 00:55:42.239 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So this one I love because it's like, kind of goes right there with life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse. If you're comfortable while you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong.

00:55:43.230 --> 00:55:45.220 Judy Hoberman: Absolutely perfect, perfect.

00:55:45.220 --> 00:56:02.989 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So that resonated a lot with me. So somebody who does what you do, Ted? Lasso very popular answer. Character. This isn't necessarily a popular answer, but for what you do, and how you branded it selling in a skirt, it should be absolutely no surprise to everybody that your favorite one of your favorite movies is pretty woman.

00:56:03.320 --> 00:56:11.739 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So if your company's called selling, get a skirt like that's pretty pretty on brand right there. It's like, you know, without getting into some of the nuances of exactly what we're selling.

00:56:11.740 --> 00:56:12.992 Judy Hoberman: Yeah. No. Yeah.

00:56:13.410 --> 00:56:17.379 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Selling in a skirt. That's kind of yeah. Pretty woman. That's kind of says it. All right, it's perfect.

00:56:17.750 --> 00:56:45.419 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So then you said your favorite instrument instrument, the artist. You'd like to hear play it, you said. Probably the most common answer given, and it's one that means a lot to me, because it was my first real concert, the piano man himself, Billy Joel playing the piano. But then, you know, after I told you, that was probably the most popular answer. You gave me another one, you? Said Andrea Bocelli. Not a common answer. Right? So you talk about back to dare to be different right? And how how that resonates with people.

00:56:45.420 --> 00:57:09.240 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: This is somebody who is an Italian tenor, blends opera and pop music, young age. He had some guacoma issues and lost his sight, began taking piano lessons at age 6 later played the flute and saxophone that hit home with me because the piano and saxophone are my 2 instruments that I learned how to play and make music with along the way. So nothing competes with me shooting my mouth off, because that's what I definitely spent the most time doing. What are you gonna do?

00:57:09.440 --> 00:57:33.059 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: So coming up next week? Everyone. It's Memorial Day weekend which usually comes with everybody talking about being outside and hitting the beach like I told you, Memorial Day weekend means I'm going to be inside and watching dance recital. But on Friday beforehand we're going to have a guest who loves to be outside for his business. You have to come, join me for the second time. Everyone loves a nice guy, so you got to tune in for the return of Dante Mercadante.

00:57:33.060 --> 00:57:42.380 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Not only the coolest name that I've interviewed, but he's the founder of Nice, Guy Tours in New York City top rated walking food tour, according to Trip advisor and other ratings and websites.

00:57:42.380 --> 00:57:42.870 Judy Hoberman: To know.

00:57:42.870 --> 00:57:55.140 Steven Frey @alwaysfreyday @smbguy: Then we hope you gain some weekend insight to make a Monday impact. Thanks so much for stopping by and joining us here today. Have a great weekend. We will see you next Friday 11 Am. Eastern time, right here on talk radio, Myc, bye, bye, everybody.

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