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EPISODE SUMMARY:
In Honor of Stress Awareness Month: The audience will see Frank About Health introduce it's second Medical Professional to the show discussing his new book The 14 Day Stress Cure and he will discuss his book in addition to how you can use your anger rather than let it use you.
Dr. Mort Orman, M.D. is an Internal Medicine physician and a leading stress and anger elimination expert. He has written 23 books on eliminating anger and stress, and he has 40 years of clinical success teaching people how to live, love and work stress free. His latest book: The 14 Day Stress Cure A New Approach For Dealing With Stress will teach you how to use your anger more productively to manage your stress effectively.
Website: www.docorman.com/
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#Stress
Tune in for this healthy conversation at TalkRadio.nyc
00:00:48.680 --> 00:00:54.680 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Hey, everybody, and welcome back, because I've been a hiatus to a new episode of Frank about health.
00:00:54.720 --> 00:01:04.529 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: This is episode number 110. Whoa! I'm here with Karen Ross again in Chicago, at the Double tree by Hilton, and I have to say.
00:01:04.590 --> 00:01:09.310 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Well, I like to do things intense. Sometimes she did the 100 show. Now she's doing the 110.
00:01:09.320 --> 00:01:29.950 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: But in actuality it is stress awareness month. That's what April is focused on. And in honor of stress awareness month, I'm gonna have Karen introduce our special guest who has a lot to offer all you listeners and viewers out there. But before I do that I will issue my disclaimer in honor of stress awareness month, we are gonna learn about anger.
00:01:29.980 --> 00:01:36.210 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Anger is a controversial topic in nature in politics as well as in the medical profession.
00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:46.909 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: We are going to try to avert controversy by saying that any of the conversation you hear today from myself, from Karen or Dr. Lord Orman
00:01:46.910 --> 00:02:09.699 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: is basically food for thought and for you to determine if it's useful information that can help you in managing your anger. We are not trying to insist upon our own personal views or the views of talk radio, Nyc. Or a Frank about health. We are giving you inspiration and information that you could potentially use. Therefore
00:02:09.850 --> 00:02:16.809 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: be mindful that we are not looking to create controversy. We're trying to help people live through controversy.
00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:26.029 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: That would be the best disclaimer I think I could provide for this month. Don't you think I think so? Right so on that note I'd like to introduce Dr. Mark Orman
00:02:26.080 --> 00:02:27.110 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: through Karen.
00:02:27.320 --> 00:02:34.449 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Well, I met Dr. Moore Dorman earlier this year. No, last year. It's been almost a year since I've known him.
00:02:34.500 --> 00:02:59.030 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: and I'm so impressed with his work, and it's a delight to have him on the show today. So I'm gonna tell you just a little bit about him. And I'm sure more will come out as we talk. But Dr. Mort is an inter internal medicine physician with over 40 years of success as an anger and stress elimination expert. Catch that word elimination.
00:02:59.130 --> 00:03:18.630 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Now, here, this is. Gonna knock your socks off. He has authored 23. Yes, that's 23 and co-authored 11 books on how to eliminate anger and stress. He's done workshops and presentations to all kinds of groups, including the FBI.
00:03:18.820 --> 00:03:25.309 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: He has also been the official sponsor of the national stress awareness month
00:03:25.450 --> 00:03:32.989 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: being April. And that's why we're doing this here today. He formed that organization in 1992
00:03:33.743 --> 00:03:51.880 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: his. He has an award winning book specifically on stress. It's the 14 day stress cure that came out in 1991 and is still one of the most helpful and innovative books on the subject of stress. But his most recent book
00:03:51.910 --> 00:03:55.420 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: goes a step further, living life
00:03:55.680 --> 00:04:22.459 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: changing. No, I got that wrong. Dr. Orman's life changing anger cure when you hear what he has to say about anger and what we can do with it and do about it. It's it's really pretty fascinating. So I think my first question of Dr. Orman is, this is national stress awareness month. Where does anger fit in? How do we put the 2 together
00:04:22.987 --> 00:04:26.920 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: and welcome Dr. Mort Orman. We appreciate having you here today.
00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:35.596 Mort Orman, M.D.: Yes. Well, thank you, Karen, and thank you, Frank, for having me on the show and allowing me to speak to your audience. Yeah. So
00:04:36.690 --> 00:04:47.560 Mort Orman, M.D.: I tend to view stress differently than most stress experts do. I tend to see stress more as as just a umbrella term.
00:04:47.690 --> 00:04:56.010 Mort Orman, M.D.: it's more of a concept than actual thing that yes, there's a stress response which is well studied and well known in the body. But
00:04:56.630 --> 00:05:02.060 Mort Orman, M.D.: when we say we're suffering from stress. We're really not suffering from stress. We're suffering from something else.
00:05:02.200 --> 00:05:18.170 Mort Orman, M.D.: And we use this word stress as a substitute for what it is. We're really suffering with, okay. So what what I found out many years ago was that when I whenever I thought I was being that I was suffering from stress, I wasn't. I was suffering from pop problems in my life.
00:05:18.810 --> 00:05:38.060 Mort Orman, M.D.: problems that were bothering me, problems that might have been stirring up my physiology and causing that stress response. But there were very specific problems that I was having is, I could be having one big problem, or I could be having 10 little problems all at once. But it's really when we say we're, we're suffering from stress. We're actually suffering from problems.
00:05:38.470 --> 00:05:56.100 Mort Orman, M.D.: It's kinda like. And and I'll use this in a workshop myself. Last people. Have you ever seen a sunrise or sunset, you know? A pretty sunris sunset? People go? Yeah, I said, no, you didn't. The sun doesn't rise. The sun doesn't set. That's just a fairytale that we made up. Okay, that we we all agreed to believe in
00:05:56.100 --> 00:06:15.120 Mort Orman, M.D.: like Santa Claus. The. It's the earth that's rotating. The reality is, the earth is rotating. Sun's not moving is not going up and down. Nothing's happening like that. It's the same thing with stress. You know, stress is like a sunrise or sunset. That's not the reality. The reality is problems that we're experiencing as human beings. One problem can be anger.
00:06:15.640 --> 00:06:41.670 Mort Orman, M.D.: alright. Another problem. Another problem could be anxiety. Another problem could be guilt. Another problem could be sadness. Another problem could be. I've got financial troubles, or my business is in trouble, or my marriage is in trouble, or my kids are having difficulties in school, or getting me into trouble or whatever you know these are, you know. My car break broke down and it's not functioning. You know, my computer isn't working. You know, there's all kinds of problems
00:06:41.900 --> 00:06:44.700 Mort Orman, M.D.: that we use as word stress to refer to.
00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:54.049 Mort Orman, M.D.: And we forget. It's just a it's just a placeholder, you know. It's just an abstract concept that somebody made up years ago, and
00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:56.160 Mort Orman, M.D.: you know, in World War one.
00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:58.080 Mort Orman, M.D.: No one ever suffered from stress.
00:06:59.530 --> 00:07:00.140 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Broom.
00:07:00.140 --> 00:07:07.530 Mort Orman, M.D.: Word wasn't invented at that didn't get invented until the 19 late 1930 S. Early 19 forties.
00:07:08.010 --> 00:07:08.760 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: And so.
00:07:08.760 --> 00:07:38.270 Mort Orman, M.D.: So no one ever suffered from stress because they didn't, but they suffered. They had a lot of problems, you know. During that time. There was a great depression. There was all that stuff, you know, in in that era, and but we didn't have this word stress to call it. But we still had the problems. So that's how I view. That's the answer. The answer to the question is, where does anger fit in with stress? It's one of many specific problems we can have that are real problems. I mean, anger is a real problem, anxiety, fear, or the real issues. They're not made up alright.
00:07:38.270 --> 00:07:39.110 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Nice friend.
00:07:39.110 --> 00:07:45.510 Mort Orman, M.D.: Stress is a made-up fable like it's something that exists when really it's just a buzzword. And that's.
00:07:45.510 --> 00:07:46.520 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Right like.
00:07:46.770 --> 00:07:51.040 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: well, I've read your book, and it's full of stories.
00:07:51.250 --> 00:08:05.439 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: The personal experiences that you had with anger and with stress, and also some of the patients that you've had over the years. But I'm kinda curious what would make a medical physician
00:08:05.962 --> 00:08:14.630 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: working in that world for over 40 years, kind of shift, and talk more about stress and anger and all that.
00:08:14.770 --> 00:08:36.785 Mort Orman, M.D.: Well, when I was in my twenties and thirties, and just getting, you know, going through medical school and my training and getting into practice. I had a lot of stress. I had a lot of anger. I had a lot of anxiety. I I would like. I would have never volunteered to do this. I had so much stage fright and public speaking, fear that I would have been a basket case if I ever had to do something like this that was back 40 years ago.
00:08:37.179 --> 00:08:37.649 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Yeah.
00:08:37.933 --> 00:08:54.956 Mort Orman, M.D.: I had a lot of relationship failures one way after another, partly because of my anger and other other things too. But so I had all these problems that I was struggling with myself, particularly the anger one was very frustrating, because, no matter what I tried, I couldn't solve it. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't control myself.
00:08:55.300 --> 00:09:21.459 Mort Orman, M.D.: And if you ever saw John Mcenroe play tennis well in his heyday, you know. That was when I played tennis. That's how I was. I was. I would get angry at myself. I would thrash my racket, I would yell and scream, I would bother the people playing on the courts near me, and I just couldn't stop it, no matter what. I would get angry at my patience when I first started in practice, if they didn't follow my advice, or they made bad decisions or something. So I I had this problem
00:09:21.590 --> 00:09:34.246 Mort Orman, M.D.: that I kept struggling with and kept frustrating me because I usually could solve most big problems that I had in life, and I had a track record of doing that. But this one I ran up against, and it just kept beating me every time. And so
00:09:34.810 --> 00:09:42.820 Mort Orman, M.D.: But then, as a doctor, you're taking care of patients. So you're seeing people over time, and you can clearly spot the angry people
00:09:42.820 --> 00:10:06.670 Mort Orman, M.D.: from the not so angry people. And you get to see what happens to them over time most people when they go to work they don't get that perspective. But every day I went to work, you know, I would see people come through, and then you spot the angry ones, and then you see over time, and they would get more heart attacks and strokes, and get addicted to, you know alcohol and other substances more commonly, and they would have more divorces and business failures.
00:10:06.670 --> 00:10:12.940 Mort Orman, M.D.: They would come in and tell tell me about how they you know their kids don't want to talk to them anymore, and they're estranged. So you're
00:10:13.070 --> 00:10:29.299 Mort Orman, M.D.: you're seeing all this, you know this aftermath of anger, and you're sitting there with your own anger, which course you're not telling your patients usually that you're struggling with you put on your you know your confident doctor, you know, persona, but in deep down inside I knew. Hey, you know.
00:10:29.470 --> 00:10:31.770 Mort Orman, M.D.: this is this is coming for me.
00:10:32.090 --> 00:10:32.680 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Yeah.
00:10:32.680 --> 00:10:47.090 Mort Orman, M.D.: If I don't figure this out. Fortunately I was young then, so then my patients were usually much older, but if I don't figure this out in a number of years. You know, I'm gonna probably end up in the same soup that they're in. Okay. So that drove that drove me into personal development work
00:10:47.230 --> 00:11:10.639 Mort Orman, M.D.: which a lot of doctors and busy people don't take the time to do because they're busy. And unfortunately, I had some time, you know where, where I can invest in other things, and that's what I decided to do, and it really paid off. After a couple of years I cobbled together stuff from different programs, and eventually came up with something that really helped me and really made all the difference in the world. And I was able to
00:11:10.950 --> 00:11:26.630 Mort Orman, M.D.: get rid of most of my anger problems and my anxiety problems and my fear of public speaking and my relationship issues. And I got rid of all not overnight. But I mean I got rid of all of these things by applying this kind of a systematic approach that I had developed from the personal development work.
00:11:26.800 --> 00:11:47.069 Mort Orman, M.D.: That's what got me into it. And then, once I saw how much it benefited me to not have those problems anymore, I said, man, this is a health. This is something useful for people's health. As a doctor I've gotta get this out there. That's why I wrote the books. That's why I did all the workshop develop the workshops and stuff. Because I felt like, this is such an important health issue.
00:11:47.510 --> 00:11:54.460 Mort Orman, M.D.: a public that you got. I gotta the thing that I discovered that most people didn't know about. I've gotta get it out in the world.
00:11:55.150 --> 00:11:55.780 Mort Orman, M.D.: That's.
00:11:55.780 --> 00:11:56.390 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Well.
00:11:56.390 --> 00:11:56.800 Mort Orman, M.D.: Between the.
00:11:56.800 --> 00:11:57.780 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Alphabet.
00:11:58.930 --> 00:12:00.080 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I'm sorry. Say that again.
00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:03.049 Mort Orman, M.D.: I said. I've been. That's what I've been doing for the last 40 plus years.
00:12:03.050 --> 00:12:12.320 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Yeah, well, in your new book, and you talk about it being a program. Is it just another approach to managing anger.
00:12:12.700 --> 00:12:16.084 Mort Orman, M.D.: No, it's actually completely opposite of managing anger.
00:12:16.930 --> 00:12:17.840 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: You could stand.
00:12:17.840 --> 00:12:20.679 Mort Orman, M.D.: It's anti, you know, anger management. Really.
00:12:20.680 --> 00:12:21.440 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Okay.
00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:24.889 Mort Orman, M.D.: Because anger management is what you do after you've gotten angry
00:12:24.950 --> 00:12:26.769 Mort Orman, M.D.: and you've got anger building up.
00:12:27.309 --> 00:12:36.170 Mort Orman, M.D.: And then you got it. Okay. Now you got a problem. Okay, what am I gonna do with it? Am I gonna express it? Am I gonna suppress it? You know they both can have negative effects.
00:12:36.280 --> 00:12:37.450 Mort Orman, M.D.: Right.
00:12:37.470 --> 00:12:54.210 Mort Orman, M.D.: you know. And and so you once, once it's there and it's building up, you gotta do something with it. You you gonna do something. I don't know this. You can do good things or bad things, but anyway but where I work on the other side I work on what's gener, what's generating? Angry? Why are you getting angry? And how can you stop getting angry, or
00:12:54.380 --> 00:13:01.439 Mort Orman, M.D.: you know start to get angry and immediately step in and cut it off so it doesn't build up, or it doesn't last for days or weeks or years.
00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:02.740 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I mean, you know. Yeah.
00:13:02.740 --> 00:13:08.729 Mort Orman, M.D.: That kind of stuff which frequently, and that's that's the side that I that's what I call anger, elimination
00:13:08.840 --> 00:13:11.860 Mort Orman, M.D.: different than anger management. And that's where I like to help you.
00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:17.189 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Alright. We are 2 min to our first break, but before we go I wanted to
00:13:17.220 --> 00:13:30.100 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: talk about your book, which is coming out soon, and you're offering to all the frank about help listeners and viewers a free copy of that book through download. I have here
00:13:30.570 --> 00:13:37.909 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: the promotion for all of you to see on the website. Would you feel, would you like to announce the website for everyone? Dr. Orman.
00:13:37.910 --> 00:13:56.020 Mort Orman, M.D.: Sure this this is a special promotion just for the month of April, in concert with national stress awareness month to support that endeavor, and up until april the thirtieth. At midnight you can go to a special website called April Book. offer.com.
00:13:56.090 --> 00:14:02.469 Mort Orman, M.D.: and you can download. You can download a free Pdf. Copy of the book without having to go on Amazon and purchase it.
00:14:03.340 --> 00:14:31.580 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Awesome, awesome. And then, of course, anyone who really wants to get the hard copy can do so when it's available on Amazon at that point. Alright. The other thing is, when we return, we wanna go into more detail of that book to show the value that you are providing our viewers, not to mention the community at large when it finally comes out on on Amazon. I did have one question for you before we go to the break, and that is when you have discovered that the anger was in itself something that people
00:14:31.580 --> 00:14:44.140 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: were just experiencing problems. Would you say that was because they were not learning to live in the moment. Would you say that was the primary driver, for why? They were saying they were stressed when really they were suffering from problems.
00:14:44.982 --> 00:14:48.920 Mort Orman, M.D.: Well, there was, I mean, not living in the moment is a problem
00:14:49.255 --> 00:15:12.319 Mort Orman, M.D.: that we all happen. We mostly have, particularly with all the distractions we have today, and all the other stuff that goes on in our brains. We all have that problem. That's why mindfulness and meditation. All that stuff is so popular, cause it tries to get us back to being more present in the moment. And so so that's a problem. That's that is a cause of stress. You're not being in the moment
00:15:12.320 --> 00:15:25.290 Mort Orman, M.D.: is a problem. And we and I think we all have it to some degree or another, some more than others. So that that's how I would see it fitting in just like anger, you know. I don't think it it in and of itself causes anger.
00:15:25.540 --> 00:15:29.549 Mort Orman, M.D.: but but they're each problems that fall under the umbrella of stress.
00:15:30.160 --> 00:15:49.749 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Exactly so you heard it there. Try to relax over the next 2 min until we come back, and we learn more about Dr. Orman's life, changing anger cure, and how he can educate all of us to cope with our anger, manage it, and choose not to live with it. Yeah, get rid of it, eliminate it exactly. Alright. So stay tuned as we're
00:15:49.750 --> 00:16:00.630 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: right here on Frank about health with both Karen and Dr. Orman and Talkradio, Nyc. Facebook twitch Youtube and Linkedin. We will be back in a few.
00:18:13.430 --> 00:18:26.560 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Hey, everybody, and welcome back, as you've just seen from the commercial break. We just featured Dr. Orman on his website as well as Karen on Karen Ross now, and we also did indicate before the Commercial that you can download a free copy of that book
00:18:26.660 --> 00:18:31.259 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: prior to it, going on sale towards the end of April, in honor of stress Awareness month.
00:18:31.410 --> 00:18:32.540 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: But
00:18:32.600 --> 00:18:36.640 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: during the break Karen and I were talking, and one of the questions that
00:18:36.660 --> 00:18:50.180 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I think would be perfect before we learn more about the book is upon us. Sure. So, Dr. Orman, I'm curious if someone thinks they don't have anger, or they don't have anger issues.
00:18:50.200 --> 00:19:05.699 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: or they don't blow up with anger. They don't go into a rage. That's, I think, how most of us think of anger. Could they still have anger issues that might be harmful to them? And if so, tell us about that, what would that involve? What, what does it look like?
00:19:05.940 --> 00:19:18.210 Mort Orman, M.D.: Yeah. Well, I think there are some very lucky people that just don't have a lot of anger. They didn't grow up in an angry. You know, environment, they they don't develop a lot of anger. But but, like you say, a lot of times, we have a picture.
00:19:18.270 --> 00:19:32.419 Mort Orman, M.D.: you know, or an idea of a a angry person would do this. Okay? And and we don't do that, you know. An angry person would get angry and punch a wall, or an angry person would blow up and scream and shout and stuff like that, and we don't scream and shout.
00:19:32.430 --> 00:19:40.750 Mort Orman, M.D.: okay, so then we say, Okay, well, therefore, we don't have an anger problem. But you there are a lot of little things during the day that can be annoying. You could be irritating you
00:19:40.800 --> 00:19:55.360 Mort Orman, M.D.: in your relationship. If you're married, or you have a a, a close relationship with somebody or with your kids, or whatever there's a lot of little things that can annoy you and irritate you and get you stirred up, and you know and you might not.
00:19:55.380 --> 00:20:05.880 Mort Orman, M.D.: That's not like blow up type anger, but it can be little tiny jib jabs of anger here and there that again tend to accumulate in our bodies. If we don't know how to deal with them. Well.
00:20:06.040 --> 00:20:16.519 Mort Orman, M.D.: our process in well, and you'll find some. You know there are a lot of marriages where they last for many years, and there aren't a lot of, you know. Blow up fights. But then somebody says, I want a divorce.
00:20:16.600 --> 00:20:35.479 Mort Orman, M.D.: you know, because they've had. They've they've just been storing up all these, you know, resentments for these little things that have bothered them, and they didn't do anything about it or talk about it. And now, built up to the point where they they can't be around that other person anymore. So it it still can be damaging, even if you don't think you have a big time anger problem.
00:20:36.100 --> 00:21:03.741 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Well, we know we want everybody to get the book, and they couldn't have a better offer than what you're giving them right now, and that is just to go to the website. April book. offer.com, download a free Pdf copy of the book. How much are you going to tell us, though, today. How do we eliminate book and let me eliminate anger? I mean, what's one of the first steps.
00:21:04.100 --> 00:21:27.970 Mort Orman, M.D.: I do in the book. I tell you in the book I don't hold anything back. I I share. I share everything that I've learned over the last 40 years. I share everything that I teach in my in my coaching program. I didn't hold anything back in the book, so it's all there, and I'm happy to share it here. Okay, I mean, we'll only have a limited time. So there's much more you get training you get in the book. But I the only thing I can't do in the book, or I couldn't do in the book, is.
00:21:27.970 --> 00:21:40.302 Mort Orman, M.D.: you know, if you have a particular anger episode or issue or example from your own life. And you wanna work through it with me. I can do that in a coaching program, but I can't do it in a book, but I can give you examples of other people. But
00:21:40.540 --> 00:22:02.130 Mort Orman, M.D.: but I can't do that personalized hands on. Now you know the the framework. You know the formula. You know the system. Okay, here's how you'd apply it in your own life. But you from the lessons you get from the book, you should be able to figure out hopefully as you work on it, how you can do all that kind of stuff with the blueprint that's there in the book. So so I'm happy to tell you everything. And.
00:22:02.130 --> 00:22:02.850 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: We can.
00:22:02.850 --> 00:22:09.280 Mort Orman, M.D.: Aren't with the most. The most basic thing is the thing that made the difference for me 40 years ago
00:22:10.030 --> 00:22:15.960 Mort Orman, M.D.: was realizing some things about anger that I didn't understand in my 20 s. And 30 s. And were never taught to me in medical school.
00:22:16.709 --> 00:22:27.559 Mort Orman, M.D.: And are still aren't being taught today most places, and that is we. We have this this delusion, that anger is a direct cause effect process. It's a 1, 2.
00:22:27.820 --> 00:22:29.340 Mort Orman, M.D.: Something happens.
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:32.589 Mort Orman, M.D.: upsets us, we see it.
00:22:32.670 --> 00:22:51.270 Mort Orman, M.D.: Somebody misbehaves, somebody lies to us, somebody betrays us, somebody steals from us, somebody makes a promise and breaks it or criticizes us in public or whatever. Okay, we see that we feel the anger and the upset. Okay? And we think that that's the whole story. It's one causes 2.
00:22:52.260 --> 00:22:52.990 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Okay.
00:22:52.990 --> 00:22:57.610 Mort Orman, M.D.: That's a common sense, cause, effect, notion of anger.
00:22:57.950 --> 00:22:58.420 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: That one.
00:22:58.420 --> 00:23:09.859 Mort Orman, M.D.: That I had, and that's the one that I had in my twenties and thirties, when I couldn't do anything about my anger, despite all the things I tried. It wasn't until I realized that anger is not a 1, 2. Cause effect.
00:23:10.300 --> 00:23:14.710 Mort Orman, M.D.: situation. It's got 4 steps. It's 1, 2, 3, 4.
00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:21.830 Mort Orman, M.D.: One is the same one. It's the same thing that happens. Somebody lies to. You, betrays you. But whatever it is, okay.
00:23:22.635 --> 00:23:26.799 Mort Orman, M.D.: 4 is the anger you feel. And then there's 2 steps in the middle that are invisible.
00:23:27.050 --> 00:23:28.539 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Aha! What about those.
00:23:28.540 --> 00:23:30.780 Mort Orman, M.D.: Visible because they're occurring within us.
00:23:31.090 --> 00:23:46.599 Mort Orman, M.D.: and we don't see we don't feel them. We don't taste them. We don't smell. We don't know that they're happening. But there are 2 steps going on inside us that I didn't know anything about, and when I figured out what those 2 steps were, it was like night and day. It was like, Oh, my God! Now I can step in and do something
00:23:46.770 --> 00:23:51.020 Mort Orman, M.D.: now I can take control of my anger instead of my anger always having control over me.
00:23:51.520 --> 00:24:11.250 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: So while the while, the while the community at large is basically seeing it like you said, cause an effect. What it really is is a part of us probably genetically programmed within us, and it could either be seen as a condition response to an external situation or maybe a personal memory stress disorder. Ptsd
00:24:11.250 --> 00:24:31.289 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: type of situation that will either go ahead and exacerbate into a co morbid illness, or possibly, if it's learned to be dealt with as what it is that anger itself is a condition that needs to be recognized. Then it's no longer this cause, effect issue. It's more of a separate focus that helps you deal with all the problems related to it.
00:24:31.290 --> 00:24:37.190 Mort Orman, M.D.: It's still cause and effect. We just misunderstand the causes. We think it's one cause
00:24:37.250 --> 00:24:41.749 Mort Orman, M.D.: when it's there's 2 more that come in play that we aren't seeing.
00:24:41.830 --> 00:24:43.980 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay. So
00:24:44.090 --> 00:24:51.479 Mort Orman, M.D.: so, for example, my, when I went to medical school, I didn't realize this at the time, but my value as a doctor.
00:24:52.130 --> 00:25:00.899 Mort Orman, M.D.: is that we get trained to understand the invisible processes that go on in the body that people don't know anything about and don't sense.
00:25:01.790 --> 00:25:10.670 Mort Orman, M.D.: You come in. You say you've got chest pain, or you've got indigestion, or you guys, I'm I'm trained to understand what's going on in your body that you can't see, and I can't see
00:25:11.020 --> 00:25:37.190 Mort Orman, M.D.: unless I do an X-ray, or or you know, some kind of special cat scan or MRI, or something like that. And and even then, so we're trained. We're trained to kind of figure out from talking to you and understanding patterns of symptoms and some physical findings. And you know, we've got these where we okay, well, this person has, like a valve problem with their heart, or this person has, you know coronary arteries, or this person has a stomach ulcer things you can't see. Okay.
00:25:37.190 --> 00:25:37.929 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Yeah, and.
00:25:37.930 --> 00:25:56.440 Mort Orman, M.D.: You as a as a patient can't have no idea what the hell you just know. You feel bad, and you have these symptoms. But you come to a doctor, and our job is to actually try and figure out the invisible stuff that's going on inside your body. Well, it's the same thing with anger. There's invisible stuff going on in there.
00:25:56.440 --> 00:25:56.770 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Right.
00:25:56.770 --> 00:26:08.550 Mort Orman, M.D.: If you really wanna solve the problem, you've gotta gotta understand what that stuff is. And it's it is kind of conditioned. It's all conditioned ways of looking at things. So it's like we have.
00:26:08.830 --> 00:26:13.590 Mort Orman, M.D.: We never a lot of people don't realize this, but we never see reality exactly as it is.
00:26:14.815 --> 00:26:15.290 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Reception.
00:26:15.290 --> 00:26:23.990 Mort Orman, M.D.: We're always filtering it through our conditioning and our brains. And there's always filtering going on. And so our brains are always. They're not presenting the full picture.
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:38.719 Mort Orman, M.D.: They're condensing it. They're they're they're chopping it down into smaller bits. They're leaving stuff out because we can't handle all of it at one time. So the images that we're getting the perceptions that we end up with
00:26:38.770 --> 00:26:41.820 Mort Orman, M.D.: are based on incomplete information most of the time.
00:26:42.100 --> 00:26:45.159 Mort Orman, M.D.: But it feels like we've got complete information.
00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:56.339 Mort Orman, M.D.: So it feels like we've got the whole picture. And usually we've got a lot of blind spots. We've got a lot of missing pieces, and and that's what's causing our emotions
00:26:56.450 --> 00:26:59.620 Mort Orman, M.D.: is the misperception that we've got the whole story.
00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:08.070 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: So does that kind of I'm sorry. Does that kind of get us to that step? 2, that invisible step, 2.
00:27:08.339 --> 00:27:11.029 Mort Orman, M.D.: Is the step 2. The step 2 is the filtering
00:27:11.380 --> 00:27:19.269 Mort Orman, M.D.: that we don't notice. We don't notice that we're filtering reality or our bodies. Our brains are filtering reality and distorting it in the process.
00:27:19.840 --> 00:27:24.080 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay, and making it really untrue in many ways.
00:27:24.080 --> 00:27:24.959 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: We'll hear, but.
00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:25.420 Mort Orman, M.D.: We kitty.
00:27:25.420 --> 00:27:26.519 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: It's very clear.
00:27:26.520 --> 00:27:27.950 Mort Orman, M.D.: But we think it's true.
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:30.949 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Well, give us an example.
00:27:31.620 --> 00:27:54.880 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Maybe one of your stories, or maybe a patient you worked with, I can. I can give an example of my own, basically. My, my audience knows that. Oh, well, I think we're about to also take our next break. But I'll say it pretty quickly. My audience knows that I have been dealing with the last 2 years of my father's cancer, which is in recovery.
00:27:54.890 --> 00:28:00.849 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: and while all that is great news, the doctors giving him a clean bill of health for the first time in 2 years.
00:28:00.950 --> 00:28:04.320 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: He's not happy about it. He's either angry or depressed.
00:28:04.470 --> 00:28:10.299 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: and even there has been 2 emergency room visits which I really think was just a comfort level test
00:28:10.350 --> 00:28:16.450 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: for him to feel that someone was looking after him, because now he was feeling vulnerable about being healthy.
00:28:16.820 --> 00:28:27.310 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: and I had to use my whatever, I would not say my expertise, but my caregiving knowledge having observed the illness in its trajectory over the last 2 years.
00:28:27.430 --> 00:28:38.820 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: while it's also angering me because I'm seeing him not respond to the great news. Instead, I'm seeing him respond to the side effects as if they're more critical and could be even fatal.
00:28:38.820 --> 00:28:45.450 Mort Orman, M.D.: That's a perfect example of what I would just said. Your father is looking at his situation
00:28:45.770 --> 00:28:48.299 Mort Orman, M.D.: through a distorted set of lenses.
00:28:48.660 --> 00:29:04.520 Mort Orman, M.D.: where he sees it more negatively than the reality actually is. You? You're seeing the reality. The reality is, he's in good shape. He's got, you know. He things are good, and he's sitting over here thinking I'm looking at the same thing. And I'm thinking things are bad.
00:29:04.650 --> 00:29:17.220 Mort Orman, M.D.: and and and that's pissing me off. Okay and and and so he's looking through a distorted, and that's why that's why I'm saying we all do this. We all have lenses that we look at the world, and we think what we're seeing is true.
00:29:17.300 --> 00:29:20.849 Mort Orman, M.D.: Your father thinks this situation is worse than it actually is.
00:29:21.020 --> 00:29:40.618 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Sure. Exactly so, I mean, but if he's reacting with depression, which is inward anchor, so this is an example. I think when we return. We could learn also through the methods in your book. How he could learn to deal with what he's processing more productively has also my own frustration over it. How I could learn to deal with it.
00:29:41.210 --> 00:29:56.609 Mort Orman, M.D.: And then you've got you've got your filters. You're looking at his behavior through your filters, and you have to examine where are the flaws. Where might the flaws be in my filters that has me be upset, that he's reacting the way he's reacting. Okay? And that's how it is for all of us.
00:29:57.200 --> 00:30:06.279 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: So, ladies and gentlemen, please stay tuned. We have a lot more to unpack right here on Frank about health, on talk, radio, Nyc. And on all our socials. We'll be back in a few.
00:32:10.300 --> 00:32:37.927 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Everybody and welcome back as you just saw. We are live from the Double Tree, Chicago, at the magnificent mile. I'm here with Karen and based on our last segment. Dr. Armand, I gotta say you just ignited in me like that light bulb moment, the ha moment that they keep talking about where basically, I've always said, perception is everything. But what I'm also learning is perception fuels your anger. Among other things, it could also proceed fuel. Your happiness, enjoyment.
00:32:38.260 --> 00:32:59.069 Mort Orman, M.D.: Perception fuels anxiety, perception, fuels guilt, it feels sadness, it feels fuels, every emotion, emotion that we have, including the positive ones. It's all the filter everything. All our brains are designed to filter. They've been doing it for millions of years. Okay, it's this is biology. This is basic human biology and neurophysiology.
00:32:59.070 --> 00:33:20.430 Mort Orman, M.D.: We're never seeing the world the way it really is. We're only seeing pieces and bits of it, and a lot is being left out, and we have our own biases. You know, there's like 200 cognitive biases that human beings have. We have all these different ways of distorting the the input. That's coming in, so that we end up with internal realities that may or may not be
00:33:20.620 --> 00:33:27.999 Mort Orman, M.D.: consistent with real reality. And a lot of times when it's not. You'll get negative emotions of various kinds. Okay.
00:33:28.642 --> 00:33:44.680 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I was noticing there was a a phrase that you used in the book, and I think I heard you in a presentation. Possibly, and it really really stuck me, but are stuck with me. Learn to appreciate the value of being wrong.
00:33:45.550 --> 00:33:47.855 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: You gotta talk more about that.
00:33:48.240 --> 00:33:53.241 Mort Orman, M.D.: All right. Well, let me build up to that because it needs a little context. So the 3. So I said, There's 3.
00:33:53.450 --> 00:34:00.740 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Imagine that many listeners would say, No, I'm not appreciate the value.
00:34:00.740 --> 00:34:06.029 Mort Orman, M.D.: There's 3 filters, the second, the second invisible cause. Out of the 4 causes, or the 4
00:34:06.150 --> 00:34:17.340 Mort Orman, M.D.: pieces in the sequence. The the last piece is the anger. The first piece is the external events, or whatever the the second piece. In the first internal piece, which is piece number 2. Are. We have these 3 filters.
00:34:17.710 --> 00:34:20.500 Mort Orman, M.D.: And when you look through the world through these 3 filters.
00:34:20.860 --> 00:34:23.819 Mort Orman, M.D.: that's what sets up anger. The first filter is.
00:34:23.949 --> 00:34:28.659 Mort Orman, M.D.: somebody did something bad or wrong that they shouldn't have done or shouldn't be doing.
00:34:28.860 --> 00:34:47.330 Mort Orman, M.D.: So. Notice, we don't get angry if we think somebody did something wonderful, terrific, fantastic. Okay, it's only if it's doing something better wrong. Second thing is, we have to see some kinda a hurt or harm or negative impact either to us or to other people, or maybe even both, the times excuse me. And then the third filter is
00:34:47.460 --> 00:34:58.739 Mort Orman, M.D.: that when we see the bad person doing the bad behavior and and causing hurt and harm or negative impact. We see them as being, you know, unilaterally, or almost totally responsible, or to blame
00:34:59.010 --> 00:35:00.800 Mort Orman, M.D.: for what happened. Okay.
00:35:00.830 --> 00:35:08.800 Mort Orman, M.D.: when you get those 3 things lined up, and you're looking at the world that way, and you believe that it's true. You get the emotion of anger.
00:35:09.010 --> 00:35:26.410 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay. Now, if you're feeling anxious, you've got a 3 different filters that are causing that emotion. But those are the ones that cause anger. Right? And so that's this first invisible step 2. The second invisible step, the one right before the anger occurs. Step 3.
00:35:26.540 --> 00:35:28.210 Mort Orman, M.D.: Is your brain
00:35:28.850 --> 00:35:38.680 Mort Orman, M.D.: immediately goes into action and tells you. What are you talking about? Filtered filter reality? This is not filtered reality. This is truth. This is 100% true.
00:35:39.340 --> 00:35:40.729 Mort Orman, M.D.: Your brain does that.
00:35:40.740 --> 00:35:50.319 Mort Orman, M.D.: It tells you that the what the filtered reality is coming through your its own filters, that it knows is not true. It's telling you that it's true.
00:35:50.410 --> 00:35:57.500 Mort Orman, M.D.: and it's convincing you that it's true when you see it through the filters and believe it's true. That's where the anger comes from.
00:35:57.900 --> 00:36:00.089 Mort Orman, M.D.: Those are the 2 invisible steps
00:36:00.200 --> 00:36:06.040 Mort Orman, M.D.: that most people don't understand is what's generating their anger. Now, what's interesting is
00:36:06.440 --> 00:36:08.910 Mort Orman, M.D.: you? You remember Jen Sucky.
00:36:09.030 --> 00:36:10.260 Mort Orman, M.D.: the Spokesperson.
00:36:10.260 --> 00:36:10.830 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Can't figure.
00:36:10.830 --> 00:36:13.574 Mort Orman, M.D.: The administration. She was famous for her circle back.
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:40.620 Mort Orman, M.D.: I'm gonna circle back. Well, what you need to do once you understand? That's where your anger is coming from. Now you need to circle back and look at those 3 filters and ask yourself, is it really true? Is the first one? Did somebody really do something bad and wrong? They shouldn't have done? W. Was there really hurt and harm negative impact that occur? Were they really a hundred percent responsible or to blame. And when you start asking those kind of questions and digging down deep into that.
00:36:40.620 --> 00:36:48.510 Mort Orman, M.D.: it usually turns out one or more of these filtered realities that we're perceiving. That's making us angry is not a hundred percent true.
00:36:48.590 --> 00:36:59.490 Mort Orman, M.D.: And a lot of times there are big holes in them, or big mistakes in those perceptions, and that's where the whole thing of appreciating the value of being wrong is because what I figured out
00:36:59.540 --> 00:37:05.099 Mort Orman, M.D.: didn't figure out. But I discovered 40 years ago that almost every time I was angry about something
00:37:05.470 --> 00:37:07.529 Mort Orman, M.D.: where I thought I was right
00:37:07.640 --> 00:37:09.160 Mort Orman, M.D.: and justified.
00:37:09.480 --> 00:37:15.629 Mort Orman, M.D.: I was actually wrong about 1 one or more pieces of the puzzle that was causing the anger. And I
00:37:15.680 --> 00:37:21.380 Mort Orman, M.D.: it wasn't that wasn't apparent to me. I had to go digging around and asking those questions, but once I did.
00:37:21.950 --> 00:37:24.170 Mort Orman, M.D.: I found out, boy, I was wrong about that one.
00:37:24.260 --> 00:37:33.490 Mort Orman, M.D.: I I misperceived that, or I didn't have all the information I needed, or that kind of stuff. And once you do that, and once you do that like 50 times in a row.
00:37:33.500 --> 00:37:35.570 Mort Orman, M.D.: and you're 50 for 50
00:37:36.380 --> 00:37:39.580 Mort Orman, M.D.: the 50 first time
00:37:39.820 --> 00:37:42.039 Mort Orman, M.D.: you just assume that you're wrong.
00:37:42.410 --> 00:37:43.590 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: There you go!
00:37:43.590 --> 00:37:58.780 Mort Orman, M.D.: And then you go looking around to see where's the wrongness? Okay? Because now, you know, I've had 50 personal experiences of being angry, thinking I was right, thinking I was right, thinking I was justified thinking all 3 of those things were 100% true.
00:37:58.790 --> 00:38:09.619 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay, just like your father. Your father believes that that he's not in good shape. You know that the news is not good about his hell. He believes it with all his heart and soul. Okay, he's wrong. Yeah.
00:38:09.620 --> 00:38:13.297 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: To believe that for the last 4 years. So we got used to that.
00:38:13.560 --> 00:38:16.959 Mort Orman, M.D.: He's wrong, but he believes he's wrong, but he believes it. Okay.
00:38:16.960 --> 00:38:20.210 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Hoop up Frank's anger toward his death.
00:38:20.210 --> 00:38:20.610 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay.
00:38:20.610 --> 00:38:23.362 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: It's something so frank.
00:38:24.050 --> 00:38:33.160 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay, let's so do when you're upset with your father for what he's doing. Are you just? Are you seeing it as him doing something bad wrong that he shouldn't be doing.
00:38:33.160 --> 00:38:46.469 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Oh, no, I'm also his, his actual caregiver. So I don't. I don't get angry at him. I just get angry because he's I get frustrated that he's not listening to the reality. So, for example, when he went on his second emergency room visit, which I knew was not.
00:38:46.730 --> 00:38:52.494 Mort Orman, M.D.: Wait a second. Wait a second, let me stop. Let me stop you. So him not listening to reality. Is that something bad and wrong that he's doing.
00:38:53.581 --> 00:38:55.799 Mort Orman, M.D.: that he shouldn't be doing, that he shouldn't be doing.
00:38:57.220 --> 00:39:01.510 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I would say to him exactly what's happening, and he would find a way to negate what I just said.
00:39:01.680 --> 00:39:04.629 Mort Orman, M.D.: I know. But is that a bad wrong thing that he does that.
00:39:05.444 --> 00:39:14.219 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I I I don't know if it's bad or good it or wrong, because the thing is is that he's been programmed to have that immediate reaction period, no matter what.
00:39:14.220 --> 00:39:21.349 Mort Orman, M.D.: But I'm telling you your brain when your brain is looking at your father's behavior, and he's doing those things that you know he shouldn't be doing.
00:39:21.460 --> 00:39:24.639 Mort Orman, M.D.: You're judging that to be a wrongdoing
00:39:24.980 --> 00:39:25.480 Mort Orman, M.D.: now.
00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:27.389 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: No, no, no, I'm not. I'm I'm.
00:39:27.390 --> 00:39:30.450 Mort Orman, M.D.: Well, no, you don't. You don't know that, because unconsciously you could be.
00:39:31.430 --> 00:39:32.110 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I'll tell you how.
00:39:32.110 --> 00:39:32.970 Mort Orman, M.D.: Probably are.
00:39:33.370 --> 00:39:43.930 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Just want to tell you how I handle this situation, because I coped with both my anger and allowing his need to be seen by the doctor, I said, I will order the uber for you to go to the doctor, but I will not be attending.
00:39:44.280 --> 00:39:44.730 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay.
00:39:44.730 --> 00:39:45.959 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I will not go with him.
00:39:46.330 --> 00:39:49.610 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: and that's the way I drew the boundary to keep myself focused.
00:39:49.860 --> 00:39:54.779 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay. But we're not talking about. Remember coping with anger comes after the anger occurs.
00:39:55.010 --> 00:39:57.089 Mort Orman, M.D.: Okay, that's management.
00:39:57.090 --> 00:39:59.809 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Oh, I see what you mean. I probably jump 2 steps like.
00:39:59.810 --> 00:40:02.487 Mort Orman, M.D.: Yeah, yes, you jumped. You jumped ahead
00:40:03.580 --> 00:40:19.720 Mort Orman, M.D.: because you're smart and you jumped ahead. You knew and you knew. You know. You know you're like, I know my father's having trouble on you. If there's a part of you, the intellectual part of you that goes. Yeah, I can understand it. Yeah. But there's another part of you the more primitive part of us all that goes. Gee, I wish you wouldn't do that.
00:40:19.830 --> 00:40:20.469 Mort Orman, M.D.: She gee, yeah.
00:40:20.820 --> 00:40:29.309 Mort Orman, M.D.: I think that's not a really good thing that he's doing. Okay? And then is there that's filter one filter, 2. Is there a hurt or harm or negative impact to either you or him
00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:31.190 Mort Orman, M.D.: through by his behavior.
00:40:32.470 --> 00:40:42.689 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I I wouldn't say any hurt or harm. It's just whether it's a loss of time, a lot, a a loss of priorities, but I mean, not actual physical harm, or anything like that.
00:40:42.690 --> 00:40:48.440 Mort Orman, M.D.: Well, but I mean emotion emotionally. You've described that he's got some emotional consequences of this.
00:40:48.440 --> 00:40:51.530 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Depression which is inward anger. Right? Yeah.
00:40:51.530 --> 00:40:59.780 Mort Orman, M.D.: Yeah, but that's a constant, that's a negative impact. Okay, it's negatively impacting you because you're now, you know, have this upset you have to deal with, and taking care of him.
00:40:59.780 --> 00:41:04.099 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I tend to shut down or burn out. So I think that's where it was impacting me.
00:41:04.100 --> 00:41:11.839 Mort Orman, M.D.: But it's still there. I mean, it's still, yeah, okay, that's a negative impact. Okay, and and and then who's responsible for his behavior
00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:14.599 Mort Orman, M.D.: for choosing behave that way.
00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:17.609 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: It's it's him he's responsible. Yeah.
00:41:17.610 --> 00:41:35.899 Mort Orman, M.D.: So that's that's the 3 prongs of anger. That's why you have frustration or anger, you know about his behavior. And then so those are the filters you're looking through, which is the same filters he's looking through in just a different way, you know, looking at a situation differently. Okay, but it's the same 3 filters.
00:41:36.160 --> 00:41:54.539 Mort Orman, M.D.: you know. He he's seeing the doctors, or somebody, or you or other people doing something they shouldn't be doing, or the world, you know, life not going the way it should be going or so, or God not doing what God should be doing, or something like that. And and he's seeing negative impacts on him, and he's blaming, or whatever he's blaming as as being responsible.
00:41:54.710 --> 00:42:03.710 Mort Orman, M.D.: So but that's that's the way it. That's the way it happens. Okay? And then we have to circle back then and go like, well, what's what's the truth now? You know. The truth is, is he?
00:42:03.870 --> 00:42:12.860 Mort Orman, M.D.: Even if he's all messed up and looking at things in a distorted way, and not seeing truth in reality. You know that it's understandable.
00:42:13.020 --> 00:42:19.800 Mort Orman, M.D.: you know, in his situation everything. He's been through his personality, you know. You know
00:42:19.930 --> 00:42:20.959 Mort Orman, M.D.: it's just him.
00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:22.019 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Hold on a consideration.
00:42:22.020 --> 00:42:41.820 Mort Orman, M.D.: Yeah, you know you could. You can be more compassionate and forgiving of it. There's that part of you that can tell the truth, which is, yeah, I don't like it, and I wish it wasn't that way. But I understand why he's doing that and that kind of stuff. And then, is there really a lot of negative impact? Let her hurt and harm. Well.
00:42:42.050 --> 00:42:46.860 Mort Orman, M.D.: you're not really, you know. You're not losing an arm or a leg, or anything like that. You're.
00:42:46.860 --> 00:42:47.380 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Ready!
00:42:47.380 --> 00:42:54.949 Mort Orman, M.D.: Emotional upset for a little while. But it's really the degree of hurt and harm. Is not that humongous?
00:42:55.190 --> 00:43:05.689 Mort Orman, M.D.: Is he? Is? Is he a hundred percent responsible or to blame for his behavior. And I would say to you, if he's in relationship with you.
00:43:06.550 --> 00:43:16.420 Mort Orman, M.D.: he's not 100% responsible. You you are playing some some role. It might be that you're not interacting with him in a way that gets him clear about what the reality really is.
00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:21.770 Mort Orman, M.D.: And maybe you tried, and maybe he brushed you away or said, Don't go there, or whatever it is you may.
00:43:21.770 --> 00:43:22.720 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: And stopping.
00:43:22.720 --> 00:43:46.420 Mort Orman, M.D.: You may have given up at that point. So I'm not gonna not gonna ruffle his feathers. I'm not gonna make him more upset, whatever it was, you're in a relationship with him. And then, when we're in a relationship with somebody, it's never true that their behavior is a hundred percent on them. It may be 80% on them, 20% on you, or 70, 30, or who knows what. But we always play a role in in in either causing or maintaining that behavior in the other person
00:43:46.560 --> 00:43:49.440 Mort Orman, M.D.: by what we do and what we don't do. So
00:43:49.490 --> 00:43:57.610 Mort Orman, M.D.: again, you can find holes in these in these automatic knee-jerk conditioned perceptions
00:43:57.640 --> 00:44:06.529 Mort Orman, M.D.: that make it look like certain things are true. And then when you start digging around in there, you find out. Oh, my gosh, I wasn't, and that's where the value of being wrong comes in, because.
00:44:06.530 --> 00:44:07.260 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Yeah, right.
00:44:07.260 --> 00:44:13.679 Mort Orman, M.D.: Because once you realize that as human beings, biologically, we are designed to be wrong most of the time.
00:44:14.150 --> 00:44:30.189 Mort Orman, M.D.: It's it's actually a miracle that we get anything right. We're so designed to be wrong that you you really, instead of fighting that, resisting it and wanting to be right all the time you should really go away. My biology. My brain is organized in such a way that I'm gonna misperceive things all the time.
00:44:30.260 --> 00:44:40.349 Mort Orman, M.D.: and I should embrace. I should embrace that truth and and go looking for the areas where I may be misperceiving, and then fill in the holes, and then I'll be better off.
00:44:40.490 --> 00:44:57.110 Mort Orman, M.D.: I'll be smarter. I'll be more, you know, seeing reality more clearly because I'm filling in the gaps, filling in the holes that my brain is creating for me. So that that's where I say there's real. We don't look at it that way in our society. Being wrong is the word we're I'm.
00:44:57.110 --> 00:44:58.010 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Doesn't talk.
00:44:58.010 --> 00:44:58.840 Mort Orman, M.D.: Listen. I was.
00:44:58.840 --> 00:44:59.180 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Does it?
00:44:59.180 --> 00:45:07.260 Mort Orman, M.D.: Doctor for 7 years. What do you think they drilled into me every day for 7 years? Do not be wrong.
00:45:07.260 --> 00:45:08.170 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: That's the first.
00:45:08.170 --> 00:45:11.420 Mort Orman, M.D.: Thing you can do is be wrong.
00:45:11.705 --> 00:45:24.179 Mort Orman, M.D.: So I got to be a good. I got to be a good doctor, and then I had crappy relationships. And then I had all this anxiety. I had all this anger and all this stuff that I couldn't get rid of, and the reason I couldn't get rid of. It is because
00:45:24.180 --> 00:45:42.021 Mort Orman, M.D.: the the the secret to getting rid of it is to realize that I was wrong about a lot of stuff that I was going on there. I was wrong about my perceptions. I was wrong about how relationships work. I was wrong about everything. And and it's like, and but I had this. I had this mandate. Thou shalt not be wrong.
00:45:43.420 --> 00:45:57.870 Mort Orman, M.D.: and it just it just shut that door. And I it took me a long time to get through that to where I could start admitting, you know, maybe I'm wrong about a lot of this stuff, and then let me go find out what? How do relationships work? You know? What are the things that work and don't work and all that kind of stuff? Yeah, good.
00:45:58.132 --> 00:46:17.579 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: We're about to take our final break where it says 1 min left. But I gather I was gonna ask you other questions. But it's all in your book. Would you say, before we go out to the next to the final commercial break? What chapter would be the kind of solution based on my problem, or even an example of your success story? Would it be like? Chapter 4, I mean.
00:46:17.580 --> 00:46:18.440 Mort Orman, M.D.: But so that I don't.
00:46:18.440 --> 00:46:19.270 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Pretty cool.
00:46:19.270 --> 00:46:44.210 Mort Orman, M.D.: The the way the book is. The book is divided into 6 sections, and the first 2 sections talk about my own personal anger issues when I was young, and and how I got to the other side, how the steps I took to solve the problem, and then the the real meat of the book is in the third section, where I go through all this stuff about the filters and the 2 invisible steps, and and you know what what's really causing our anger to occur. And and then
00:46:44.796 --> 00:46:54.083 Mort Orman, M.D.: the other parts have some more training and some more examples and stuff like that. But it's really the the meat of the book is injected, but you don't wanna rush to chapter 3 or part 3. But you wanna.
00:46:54.310 --> 00:46:55.060 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Those first, 2.
00:46:55.060 --> 00:47:19.369 Mort Orman, M.D.: Parts, because there's a lot in there that will give you confidence that you just like I did it. You have the same capability that I did at that time. You could do the same thing if you just had the right orientation if you had the right understandings. That's really important. The first 2 parts of the book are super important because I can give you all this technology. I can give you all this these insights. If you don't believe that you can do it. You're not gonna use it.
00:47:19.820 --> 00:47:23.479 Mort Orman, M.D.: So the first 2 parts it make you a believer, or hopefully.
00:47:23.480 --> 00:47:35.610 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Ladies and gentlemen, remember you have till April thirtieth to download that book before it hits the shelves, and at the same time stay tuned as we're back right here on talk radio, Nyc and on all of our socials. We will be back.
00:49:40.560 --> 00:49:50.110 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Hey, everybody, and welcome back to our final segment for those of you who noticed my commercial break. I showed an outtake of a previous show with Rita Gray, Aretha's retirement house.
00:49:50.110 --> 00:50:14.159 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I'm proud to say that tomorrow, between 7 and 9 Am. On good morning, America Shetha Gray, along with the cast of Retirement House will be featured by Michael Strahan and Lara Spencer, who will be covering how Retirement House will potentially become a reality show. It is a big move up Fortha Gray. I'm proud that she has been very instrumental in the relaunch of Frank about house back in 2021,
00:50:14.190 --> 00:50:40.210 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: and she, of course, continues to be an advocate for this show, so please stay tuned to ABC tomorrow, 7 o'clock Eastern time. Her segment will probably be around the 8 o'clock hour. Alright! That all being said, enough of the publicity. Now we're going to go back to more publicity, and that is of your book, and I know that Karen has a lot more comments to say about it, especially want to remind people that book is important to download until the expiration of April thirtieth.
00:50:40.210 --> 00:51:01.089 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: But I will say that being an observer mainly throughout this program, has been very helpful to me regarding my personal case that we've talked about during the show, but also in terms of understanding that I've always been right about the instinct. That perception is everything, because it helps us drive towards the objectives we want to achieve, including curing anger. So I want.
00:51:01.090 --> 00:51:11.479 Mort Orman, M.D.: And then that's that's how our brains got programmed. That through. Evolution got programmed that way we we needed. We we can't take in all the data that comes into our senses. Okay, it's too much
00:51:11.570 --> 00:51:40.013 Mort Orman, M.D.: so in order for us to function and be successful. Whatever we put our minds to, our brain had to chunk it down, you know, and and to to. And and that's what it did. And so that we can focus on things. And we can do things and create things, and you know, and and and whatever whatever we need to survive, whatever we need to do in life. So that's where it it's been going on for millions and millions of years, this this filtering process. And and we just don't educate people well about it these days. So that's my right. But
00:51:40.690 --> 00:51:41.250 Mort Orman, M.D.: I'm.
00:51:41.250 --> 00:51:56.279 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: I just want to repeat our gratitude that you joined us today, and you share such valuable information. When I first met Dr. Orman and learned about his program. I wanted to learn the program to incorporate it into my practice
00:51:56.280 --> 00:52:15.550 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: of hypnotherapy and coaching, because so often, if not always, there's some anger underlying the issues that people come to me to help resolve. So just wanna remind people that they can contact me through Karen Ross. now.com.
00:52:15.550 --> 00:52:33.190 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Then get a free copy of Dr. Orman's book before it hits the Amazon shelves. Just by going to April book. offer.com. He couldn't make it any simpler when he talks about holding nothing back. That's true.
00:52:33.190 --> 00:52:54.139 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Don't skip those first 2 or 3 chapters, because, hearing his story, hearing him talk about dealing with patience over time is compelling, and it just prepares you for then the more scientific approach to actually eliminating anger. We're not managing it, eliminating it.
00:52:54.450 --> 00:53:04.320 Mort Orman, M.D.: One of the one of the big problems. And I had this problem, too. When I was in my anger phase 20 s. And 30 Si didn't believe that I was ever gonna be any different.
00:53:04.630 --> 00:53:27.779 Mort Orman, M.D.: If you walked up. If you to come up to me on the street, I don't care who you were. Tony Robbins could have come up to me, you know, and said, Listen, you've got you've got it with. You've got the champion within you. You. You've got the power within you to to get rid of or get over. Get over this angry, I said. You're crazy, man. That's just the way I am. I don't have that in me, you know. And and so we have this. A lot of us have this belief
00:53:27.940 --> 00:53:51.419 Mort Orman, M.D.: that we don't have this inner power to eliminate our anger, or to get beyond our anger, to live without anger. But we actually do, and I discovered to my surprise, that it. I had the ability all along. I just didn't know how to access it, or didn't have the right framework, you know, to to make something happen with it. But and that's why I I spent so much time on those first 2 sections, because I want people to understand
00:53:51.480 --> 00:54:15.498 Mort Orman, M.D.: they're no different. Anybody reading that book has got the same equipment I had back in, you know, in my twenties and thirties, and probably the same belief, negative belief that they really can't do much about their anger when actually they have an enormous amount of power and ability. If they just had the right understandings and the right, you know, framework and system to apply, which is what I give them in the book, and.
00:54:15.810 --> 00:54:16.450 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Actually.
00:54:16.780 --> 00:54:29.220 Mort Orman, M.D.: And they they can go out and be that anger champion that I've been the last 40 years with very little anger in my life. My wife and I are about to celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary, which I promise you would not have happened, and I.
00:54:29.220 --> 00:54:29.850 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Not to say.
00:54:29.850 --> 00:54:32.159 Mort Orman, M.D.: Covered this 40 years ago. No way in the world.
00:54:32.160 --> 00:54:32.750 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: What?
00:54:32.750 --> 00:54:48.261 Mort Orman, M.D.: Would that have happened? And they're very real benefits from learning how to eliminate unwanted anger from your life. And if the anger is useful in some way. If it's serving a purpose, then fine, you don't have to get rid of it, but and or until it served its purpose and then get rid of it. But
00:54:49.830 --> 00:55:02.050 Mort Orman, M.D.: So there's good kinds of, you know. There's anger that can do good things for people. But so that's what I'm trying to impart in this book. I really, you know, I call it the life changing anger cure. But it's it's truly a world changing anger cure. If enough people
00:55:02.610 --> 00:55:03.110 Mort Orman, M.D.: got
00:55:03.500 --> 00:55:08.000 Mort Orman, M.D.: sites into what's really going on. Oh, my gosh! Could we reduce some of this on.
00:55:08.340 --> 00:55:25.400 Mort Orman, M.D.: Anger and violence and hatred and division that we're all complaining about. But nobody's got, you know, the Rosetta Stone that can help unravel it, and I think this could serve, you know, at least partly in in that way, that it can give people a very powerful
00:55:25.510 --> 00:55:36.669 Mort Orman, M.D.: framework for looking at their anger and and dealing with it much more successfully. So we really, do, you know, eventually live in a world where there's a lot less anger and and violence and hatred.
00:55:37.090 --> 00:55:55.650 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: That's what we all want. April book offer.com couldn't have made it simpler. Thank you, Dr. Roman. So much for spending time with us. Book is trying to people into advocates of anger ways of dealing with it, coping with it, changing it, curing it.
00:55:55.650 --> 00:56:06.410 Mort Orman, M.D.: Yes. So the last chapter in the book I invite people, I said, Join me, you know. Let's we need a team. We need people out there. We need to get this into schools. We need to get this into colleges. We need to get.
00:56:06.410 --> 00:56:06.930 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Yeah.
00:56:06.930 --> 00:56:29.560 Mort Orman, M.D.: Professional education. We need to get this into psychiatry and psychologists, offices, some of who whom are familiar with some of these concepts, and it will not be foreign to them. But, we. We need to get this kind of training and this kind of resource out in the world, and I invite people, I said, become an advocate, you know. If you're in a company, if you're working in a company, go to your Hr. People, go to your CEO,
00:56:29.560 --> 00:56:55.719 Mort Orman, M.D.: and and and buy a copy of the book for them, and and and say, Look, this could be useful for our company, for our employees, or for our managers, or whatever it's gonna take. It's first gonna take people, you know, really grasping the concepts and using them and getting results for themselves. And then when you do that I just invite you to share it and and and expose more people if it helped you expose more people to the same kind of benefits.
00:56:56.890 --> 00:57:11.940 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: Well on that note. I have to tell you that basically, I've already downloaded your book to my phone, and I will be reading it over the next few. I'll be reading it on my flight home tomorrow, but at the same time I will be reading it over the next few weeks especially, and I will get the hard copy on Amazon when it comes out.
00:57:11.940 --> 00:57:35.089 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: But I also want to tell all the listeners out there. Tomorrow's slate of shows is philanthropy and focus with Tommy D. And then always Friday with Steve Fry. And then we have the hard skills on Tuesday, and we have other shows throughout the rest of the week. I know new shows have joined the network. I don't have the titles offhand, but please stay tuned for those as well. This particular show will be airing immediately on Youtube.
00:57:35.090 --> 00:57:41.520 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: as will it be posted on Linkedin and Facebook. And this fourth segment, I can already
00:57:41.520 --> 00:58:04.769 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: tell my listeners out there will be on my new Tiktok page, which is launching next week, so you can become an advocate for anger. You can continue to watch Frank about health. You can join a conversation with Karen and Karen Ross now, and also stay tuned for. Read the Gray's appearance on good morning, America tomorrow. Remember, 7 o'clock Eastern time. Retirement house is becoming a reality for all you seniors out there
00:58:04.770 --> 00:58:14.800 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: that all being said, thank you, Logan, behind the scenes for producing the show. Thank you, Hilton, for allowing me the facility that we have every month when we celebrate whatever the health awareness month is
00:58:14.800 --> 00:58:23.759 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: again stress awareness. Month is April, among others, that I know that we have hundreds to go over, but based on what you said today, on the show, Dr. Orman.
00:58:23.760 --> 00:58:47.779 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: if we learn to manage our stress by curing anger, we'll probably even manage these other comorbidities morbidities that are being celebrated this month, you know. But either way, all of you out there who watch Frank about health for 110 episodes. Now I am grateful to all of you out there. Also view us on our platforms, and you will see me again next week, where I will most likely be bringing back more results
00:58:47.780 --> 00:58:50.260 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: to talk about stress management
00:58:50.260 --> 00:58:57.699 Frank R. Harrison / KarenRossNow.com: and AI artificial intelligence. So everybody, you all have a great week, and we will see you next week. Take care.
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