WHAT WILL THE AUDIENCE LEARN?
This week it is all about relationships, and how we can navigate them without going through heartbreak and the challenges we normally associate with our closest relationships
EPISODE SUMMARY:
This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, it’s just you and Sam as he explores with you how to be free from heartbreak.
We all have experienced heartbreak from a relationship. Whether it was from a spouse, a lover, or just someone we were dating. We experienced highs and lows and everything in between.
Yet how is it that someone else breaks our heart? How do we get involved with someone without losing ourselves in the process?
Let’s face it, relationships are tough, yet they don’t have to be! Sam will explore all about relationships with you this week, answering your questions and bringing to light a different perspective that might just help you navigate your current relationship or one in the future.
Tune in and share your experience, your challenges, and hear something that just might surprise you!
Tune in for this enlightening conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.
Sam reads a section from his book, Everyday Awakening, titled When We Admit That We Are Lost, We May Find We Are Not Alone. When we are honest with ourselves and able to admit we feel lost, we find that there are people out there who feel similar. Sam shares a personal story of a time he felt lost and how he came to terms with the situation. He says that we don't have to have it all figured out. When we stop and let go, we are then able to see our problems clearer. You can find a copy of Sam's book Everyday Awakening at EverydayAwakeningBook.com. Before the break, Sam introduces his listeners to the three keys that can protect you from heartbreak.
The first key is the foundation of every relationship, presence. Sam breaks down the meaning of truly being in the moment. He explains how you can miss social cues when you are not present. He asks why it is so challenging to be present in the world. We are consumed by the traumas that we have no clue what is going on in the present moment. Sam continues to talk about the first key and the benefits of being present with your partner and how it can only drive you closer together.
Sam reads comments from the Facebook chat. A listener asks Sam a question that segues to the second key, which has to do with our relationship. Sam says when you are in a relationship, three entities are involved. The entities include yourself, your partner, and the relationship itself. Sam explains that we are not truly present when we ignore warning signs in a relationship. He adds that we are not present due to our relationship with ourselves. The problems we tend to have in our relationships stem from our issues with ourselves.
The third key is about non-expectations. Sam says when you set up expectations in a relationship, you set yourself up for heartbreak. This key connects to the second key because when you have a solid relationship with yourself, you don't seek out projects in relationships. Sam says to reflect on how others treat us and set us up for expectations we are not aligned with; when we think of how we feel in that moment, it can keep us from setting expectations for others. Relationships are not about conforming to one's every wish but coming together and accepting each other for who they are. If you have any questions for Sam or would like to get in touch with him, you can reach him at Sam@theconsciousconsultant.com
00:00:34.680 --> 00:00:35.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Good.
00:00:36.570 --> 00:00:44.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: afternoon my conscious co creators, welcome to another edition of the conscious consultant our awakening humanity.
00:00:44.970 --> 00:00:56.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: i'm very, very pleased that you're all here with me today it's just me and you on the show today no guests, this is one of those me only shows.
00:00:56.850 --> 00:01:01.710 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: To give you just a little bit of insight a little bit of support.
00:01:02.460 --> 00:01:13.140 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Hopefully, a little bit of guidance, so if you're listening live on the Facebook live stream make sure to check in, let me know you're listening ask questions post comments.
00:01:13.650 --> 00:01:40.140 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Here, to be with you today no guest alright so let's kick things off and get started with the section from my book, everyday awakening and it'll get started, for today show so today's section is called when we admit being lost, we may find we are not alone.
00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:44.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I don't know what to do.
00:01:45.720 --> 00:01:50.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: These are six very difficult words for most of us to say.
00:01:51.030 --> 00:02:05.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It doesn't feel safe to admit being uncertain, it is vulnerable and scary to be in that place, it seems as if we're expected to know what to do that people depend on us knowing what to do.
00:02:07.530 --> 00:02:08.760 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We can feel.
00:02:10.320 --> 00:02:14.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Like we have let everyone down when we don't know what to do.
00:02:15.480 --> 00:02:32.760 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yet when we admit it, it can bring us to a new place a place of authenticity, a place of courage, a place of peace, because when we admit that knowing we find out something surprising.
00:02:34.110 --> 00:02:37.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we're not alone we're not the only one.
00:02:38.340 --> 00:02:45.150 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There are lots of other people who don't know what to do what to say where to go.
00:02:46.470 --> 00:03:09.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And from that place of vulnerability, we find connection we find comfort, we find that we're not alone when we open up and freely express that we're in an unfamiliar place in our lives that were lost and scared the very thing we need, in that moment shows up.
00:03:10.560 --> 00:03:11.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Other people.
00:03:13.140 --> 00:03:22.590 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: People who want to be there for us not to do anything for us not to fix it or make it feel better.
00:03:26.370 --> 00:03:31.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Just to be present with us hold our hand.
00:03:32.250 --> 00:03:35.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Let us know that they feel the same way.
00:03:37.170 --> 00:03:40.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And with this connection comes relief.
00:03:41.610 --> 00:04:01.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because now we know that we're not alone in fact there are lots of other people out there who feel the same way, and they appreciate our openness, our rawness our ability to express that we don't know what to do.
00:04:02.250 --> 00:04:04.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: They can empathize and relate.
00:04:05.640 --> 00:04:24.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We all feel that way, sometimes we all find ourselves in unfamiliar situations, without a compass or a map stuck in a place that we don't know how to get out of, and when we admitted the magic happens.
00:04:25.650 --> 00:04:28.620 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: People show up and say me too.
00:04:29.880 --> 00:04:36.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And then somehow through some unknown force, we feel better.
00:04:38.220 --> 00:04:40.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Probably for just knowing.
00:04:41.700 --> 00:04:46.770 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That there is someone else there who feels as lost as we do.
00:04:48.090 --> 00:04:53.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: By them just being there we no longer feel quite as lost.
00:04:54.690 --> 00:05:01.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Maybe just maybe we can find our way out together.
00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:07.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So where in your life would it serve you to say.
00:05:08.250 --> 00:05:09.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I don't know.
00:05:11.760 --> 00:05:13.800 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That this is something that.
00:05:15.390 --> 00:05:16.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: had come to me.
00:05:18.090 --> 00:05:24.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: A while ago and it really helped me a lot.
00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:28.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: When I realized how much.
00:05:31.710 --> 00:05:37.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We think we need to be there for everyone, we think we need to.
00:05:38.520 --> 00:05:42.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: be perfect, we think we need to have all the answers we think we need to.
00:05:44.700 --> 00:05:48.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: be strong, all the time, especially men.
00:05:50.340 --> 00:05:50.940 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and
00:05:52.770 --> 00:06:10.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I remember, I was in ceremony, and there was something going on in my life at the time, and I really I just I didn't know what the hell, I was doing I didn't know what you know what decision to make I don't know which way to turn.
00:06:13.050 --> 00:06:16.710 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And when I shared that with somebody at the time.
00:06:18.060 --> 00:06:28.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: They were like I know exactly how you feel they they relate I have felt the same way, many times.
00:06:29.280 --> 00:06:39.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it was like a sense of relief washed over me that, like I didn't have to have it all figured out.
00:06:42.060 --> 00:07:01.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And, and it was so surprising, it was like just being able to admit like I don't know what the F is going on, I don't know what i'm doing i'm lost and and I really I just don't know.
00:07:04.050 --> 00:07:12.930 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And all of a sudden, having other people, step up and say yeah me neither or yeah I felt the same way.
00:07:14.520 --> 00:07:21.720 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's all of a sudden, that you know this this feeling of like having the world on your shoulders this burden.
00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:23.370 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: um.
00:07:24.420 --> 00:07:33.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It just kind of dropped a little bit maybe not completely, but it was just this sense of relief and it was like my God.
00:07:34.260 --> 00:07:38.940 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: First there was the sense of relief of just being able to admit it.
00:07:40.080 --> 00:07:46.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Like just a being able to make we don't have all the answers like that feels good itself.
00:07:47.730 --> 00:07:50.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But then to admit it.
00:07:51.990 --> 00:08:02.730 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and have other people admitted and reflect it back ah like that really helped to like oh my God i'm not the only one.
00:08:04.590 --> 00:08:22.140 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Other people are feeling the same way, and you know I don't have to carry this burden alone anymore, I can be honest and open and authentic and say I really don't know what to do now.
00:08:23.370 --> 00:08:38.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the curious thing is once I did that it's so so helped me to to then with feeling like I had the support like knowing that there are other people.
00:08:39.420 --> 00:08:49.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That it helped me to like find my way it helped me to like once I didn't feel so alone and I felt a sense of relief.
00:08:50.790 --> 00:08:56.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: As like oh suddenly possibilities showed up suddenly.
00:08:58.140 --> 00:09:03.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I was like well, maybe I could do this or maybe I need to talk to that person.
00:09:04.470 --> 00:09:18.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Or maybe you know, there is a way through this and then suddenly I didn't feel so lost anymore I didn't feel like I didn't know what I could possibly do.
00:09:19.440 --> 00:09:22.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And you know this this I wrote this several years ago.
00:09:23.490 --> 00:09:27.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I remember the feeling of what it was like.
00:09:28.470 --> 00:09:32.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But, to be honest, I can't remember what I was feeling lost.
00:09:34.710 --> 00:09:41.370 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That that I remember like that feeling of like oh my God and then admitting it and then feeling relief.
00:09:42.450 --> 00:09:48.690 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But I don't even remember what it was in my life at the time that it was feeling so most about.
00:09:50.100 --> 00:09:53.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so it was just such a.
00:09:55.620 --> 00:10:09.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Fast fascinating being to observe within myself that's something at the time, which seemed so important and so would you know weighed so heavily on me.
00:10:11.610 --> 00:10:14.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I finally said I don't know what to do.
00:10:15.690 --> 00:10:30.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I felt a little lighter and then other people related to me and I felt like I wasn't alone and I had support around me, you know not anybody trying to tell me what to do not them trying to fix me or.
00:10:33.210 --> 00:10:38.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or show me the way out, they were just there being present with me just witnessing me.
00:10:40.650 --> 00:10:41.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I was like.
00:10:43.080 --> 00:10:46.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It felt so good it felt like such a relief.
00:10:49.530 --> 00:10:52.800 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And then just having that sense of relief.
00:10:53.880 --> 00:10:58.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: helped me to really know what to do in the coming days and weeks.
00:10:59.160 --> 00:11:03.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And you know that's the thing it's so funny it it's.
00:11:04.020 --> 00:11:05.640 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's such a paradox.
00:11:06.990 --> 00:11:16.080 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That we put so much pressure on ourselves to know what to do to make the right decisions that show up a certain way, to be a certain way.
00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:22.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That we put so much pressure on ourselves, it actually makes it harder.
00:11:24.090 --> 00:11:26.880 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: To tune into what is the right way to go.
00:11:30.900 --> 00:11:33.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But when we take that pressure off.
00:11:34.410 --> 00:11:41.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: When we when we just admit that in the moment we don't know where we're going we don't know what we're doing.
00:11:42.330 --> 00:11:43.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It takes the pressure off.
00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:50.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And then suddenly when that pressure is off of us, we can really.
00:11:51.990 --> 00:11:53.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: find our way.
00:11:55.680 --> 00:12:10.410 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Because that pressure causes stress and that stress causes us to sort of shut down on the more creative sides of us to shut down those those the very pieces of is that we need to figure out the way through.
00:12:14.250 --> 00:12:31.080 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so, when we open up that release valve when we open up to that part by just being honest and authentic and we can open up to that side of ourselves where the inspiration comes from where the intuition comes from.
00:12:32.190 --> 00:12:40.260 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we can be you know, open up to it and really find our way through it so.
00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:56.370 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: helps us it's such a paradox it's like we're holding on to something so tight over trying to find something so hard and because we're trying so hard we can't find it, and when we stop and we let go.
00:12:58.560 --> 00:13:11.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we admit that I don't know which way to go, suddenly, the way presents itself to us and suddenly we're not so lost in fact we were never really as lost as we thought we were.
00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:19.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It was maybe a moment of doubt, a moment of uncertainty.
00:13:21.660 --> 00:13:24.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the truth is we all have those moments.
00:13:26.070 --> 00:13:31.140 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so, when we have those moments, the best thing we can do.
00:13:33.570 --> 00:13:42.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Is admitted admitted to those closest to it, I mean a minute to those people who, you know, will support you.
00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:57.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Through who who won't criticize you for Chris look when we're being authentic like that we're being vulnerable are there, people out there who will like make us wrong for it and give us a hard time absolutely So those are not the people we want to share that with.
00:14:00.180 --> 00:14:04.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But even if there's just one person we know one friend.
00:14:06.090 --> 00:14:08.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Even if it's a therapist so what.
00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:16.080 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We can share with that just one person how uncertain how how lost we feel.
00:14:17.640 --> 00:14:22.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The sense of relief that comes from that and then the connection.
00:14:23.250 --> 00:14:29.160 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Ah, like that's all we really need that's all we really, really need.
00:14:30.570 --> 00:14:48.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So that that's my little section from the book today it is entitled when we admit to being lost, we may find that we are not alone and that comes from my book, of course, every day, a weakening which you can get it every day awakening book calm.
00:14:49.920 --> 00:15:12.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Alright, so we're gonna go to break I do see my loyal listeners oh it's so good to see you guys there sinise patty William, thank you for tuning in today, and today we're talking all about relationships and i'm going to give you, your how to be how to find your independence from heartbreak.
00:15:13.560 --> 00:15:28.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I mean relationships are tough and and and relationships often lead to heartbreak and i'm going to give you the three keys, the three keys to being in a relationship.
00:15:30.900 --> 00:15:42.690 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And not experiencing heartbreak because none of us really want to know, are you never going to experience heartbreak Of course I can promise you that but i'm going to give you three things that are really going to help.
00:15:43.950 --> 00:15:46.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for you to feel more solid in yourself.
00:15:48.540 --> 00:15:58.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Okay, so thank you all for tuning in, let me know what kind of questions you have around relationships i'll get to all of them just posted in the comments section on the Facebook live video.
00:15:58.830 --> 00:16:09.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we do this every Thursday 12 noon to 1pm Eastern right here on top radio data nyc and all over Facebook.
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00:18:40.530 --> 00:18:45.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity if you're just joining us.
00:18:46.650 --> 00:18:53.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: This is one of those shows where it's just me, and you know guest today and our topic today.
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:59.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: is all about heartbreak and relationships and so.
00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:10.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: i'm going to talk about and some of this, I may have touched upon before, but I really want to touch upon all of this in a way that I hope.
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:14.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: will really help you see the big picture to see.
00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:33.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What i'm really proposing in terms of how to show up be in a relationship and and what it really takes to have a relationship that's truly supportive and works for you and avoid the heartbreak now, as I mentioned before.
00:19:34.020 --> 00:19:41.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Your void heartbreak 100% probably not, but we can definitely do a lot better all right.
00:19:42.750 --> 00:19:44.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So the three keys.
00:19:45.840 --> 00:19:54.720 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: First, most important, the foundation of everything in a relationship begins with presence.
00:19:56.670 --> 00:19:57.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What do I mean by that.
00:20:00.630 --> 00:20:05.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: presence is really being in the moment.
00:20:06.810 --> 00:20:13.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: feeling into what's going on with yourself and what's going on with the other person.
00:20:15.990 --> 00:20:21.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: True presence is not that is true presence can be elusive.
00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:24.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: really being present.
00:20:25.980 --> 00:20:26.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Can.
00:20:28.170 --> 00:20:42.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Be almost like trying to grab water from a stream and it flows through the fingers because it almost can feel like the more we effort in all my gotta be really present that effort actually takes us out of presence.
00:20:45.300 --> 00:20:51.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Because why it's being wise being present so so challenging with us to this world.
00:20:54.060 --> 00:21:04.710 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: First and foremost, because we all have trauma challenges hard times we've been through stories we've made up.
00:21:08.040 --> 00:21:17.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so the these all kind of come together and form sort of these unconscious programs that run around inside our head.
00:21:19.650 --> 00:21:24.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we immediately start to make meaning from something whatever is going on right in front of us.
00:21:26.430 --> 00:21:34.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so what happens is that story that, meaning that we're making from what's going on, it actually takes us out of the present moment.
00:21:36.810 --> 00:21:40.770 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we start reading these programs Oh, what do they mean by that.
00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:58.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh, what are they trying to do, or what are they saying they're going to leave me is this going to happen is that going to happen what's wrong with it, and all of a sudden there's like the monkey mind kicks in and we're going crazy thinking about all this stuff that actually.
00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:04.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Has maybe nothing to do with what's going on in the present moment.
00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:23.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I used to teach a spoon bending workshop haven't done in a long time, I really would love to do it, except now I don't have an office anymore so i'm not going to be teaching it anytime soon, but.
00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:27.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: In the spoon bending workshop.
00:22:30.030 --> 00:22:33.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: there's a little part where I talked about.
00:22:34.650 --> 00:22:38.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: A friend of mine who was in a car accident.
00:22:39.180 --> 00:22:45.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it wasn't a big deal like skin on some eyes a little fender bender no big deal.
00:22:47.100 --> 00:22:56.640 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And she talked about how she was starting to freak out and then she was like wait a minute I teach people all about presence and stuff in this present moment.
00:22:57.870 --> 00:22:59.880 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Is there actually anything wrong.
00:23:01.800 --> 00:23:03.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's like no actually there's not.
00:23:05.100 --> 00:23:09.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know, cars, a little bent up i'm Okay, nobody else got her.
00:23:10.500 --> 00:23:23.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's actually not not that bad I mean okay I gotta call a tow truck or you know we got to get the car fixed it's going to cost me some money, but in this exact present moment actually everything is okay.
00:23:25.860 --> 00:23:39.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And how easy it is like in that kind of situation we take ourselves out of presence we make a story oh my God I can't believe the seven i'm going to be late though this is going to happen, I can I what am I going to tell this person leper right we say all these things.
00:23:41.940 --> 00:23:47.250 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The thing is it's like that all the time, even when we're not in a car accident.
00:23:48.930 --> 00:24:02.310 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so, these things run around inside of us that pull our attention away and then we're not really paying attention to what's going on in front of us right here, right now.
00:24:05.220 --> 00:24:10.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And to truly be in relationship with another person, we have to be present to that.
00:24:11.430 --> 00:24:14.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We have to feel them what's going on with them.
00:24:16.530 --> 00:24:19.260 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And maybe they're not saying what's going on with them.
00:24:20.310 --> 00:24:30.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Maybe it's we've just being with them when we can feel their body like we see their body language or we can just feel like something's not sitting right something's wrong.
00:24:33.180 --> 00:24:37.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And when we're really present like that we can pick up on these things.
00:24:39.360 --> 00:24:42.720 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we can say hey there's something bothering you are you okay.
00:24:43.830 --> 00:24:46.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Is there something going on, you have some concerns.
00:24:48.870 --> 00:24:52.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And sometimes it'll be like oh wow how did you know.
00:24:56.130 --> 00:24:58.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So often, when it comes to relationships.
00:25:00.120 --> 00:25:03.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we're so present to what's going on with us.
00:25:05.310 --> 00:25:09.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we're so caught up in it and we're so like swimming in it.
00:25:10.500 --> 00:25:13.590 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That we're not being present to what's going on with that.
00:25:17.580 --> 00:25:18.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and
00:25:22.800 --> 00:25:26.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's that level of presence that i'm talking about.
00:25:28.830 --> 00:25:35.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Because presence first comes from being aware of what's going on with us.
00:25:36.690 --> 00:25:47.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Because when we've done enough of the inner work when we've really worked on ourselves and know ourselves so well and are honest enough with ourselves.
00:25:48.840 --> 00:25:56.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: about how we're feeling in the moment about whether something is bothering us or not about whether we have a concern or not.
00:25:57.990 --> 00:26:14.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And look, they can be very legitimate concerns maybe we just got a diagnosis from a doctor that gets us very concerned or worried, or maybe something happened at our job or in a business and then we're feeling a little scared or worried.
00:26:16.620 --> 00:26:19.080 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If we're not really present to that.
00:26:20.490 --> 00:26:24.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: When we're sharing space with someone else with a partner.
00:26:25.980 --> 00:26:33.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That concern that worry that tension is taking us out of presence we're not really being with that person.
00:26:35.820 --> 00:26:38.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we're not really being with that other person.
00:26:40.050 --> 00:26:42.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we're not really seeing them for who they are.
00:26:45.180 --> 00:26:52.620 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And sometimes that lack of presence causes us to not see what's so evident right in front of us.
00:26:55.050 --> 00:27:14.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Like Have you ever had a friend who they were going out with someone and you could see so clearly like this other person is totally not right for them not good for them it's not really treating them well and they don't really see it themselves.
00:27:18.120 --> 00:27:21.510 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Why do we see it, and they can't see it.
00:27:22.530 --> 00:27:27.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: they're not seeing it because they're not really being present to what's in front of them.
00:27:33.990 --> 00:27:36.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, for not being present to what's in front of us.
00:27:39.060 --> 00:27:53.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the person is just saying the right things, acting the right way, but there's a little something off in the back of our minds, we kind of know like oh there's something that right about this person.
00:27:54.630 --> 00:28:08.760 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But we're not really being present to it we're not calm and centered and and letting all the stuff that takes us out of presence go and that really just being with that person in front of us.
00:28:11.100 --> 00:28:22.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so, when that happened and we miss everything it's almost like we have blinders on and everybody else can see what this other person is doing, and we are clueless.
00:28:25.500 --> 00:28:29.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: presence is so so so important.
00:28:30.120 --> 00:28:35.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Not just in relationships, but, like everything in life, I mean it is like the key is so many things.
00:28:36.810 --> 00:28:41.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But, especially, especially when it comes to relationships.
00:28:43.110 --> 00:28:44.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: E commerce presence.
00:28:46.800 --> 00:28:48.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: will let us know.
00:28:50.250 --> 00:28:57.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Whether this relationship is right for us or not, because when we're really present and we see the other person.
00:28:59.820 --> 00:29:07.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we feel good, and we feel like like i'm so grateful to be with this person and they really get me and I really get them.
00:29:10.650 --> 00:29:18.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: right that presence gives us a little bit more certainty like this is the right relationship for us.
00:29:21.840 --> 00:29:24.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So presence is key number one.
00:29:26.010 --> 00:29:28.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Alright it's time for us to take the next break.
00:29:30.180 --> 00:29:43.560 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Over the break if you're listening live think about questions you have around presence and relationship and posted in on the Facebook live, let me know and i'll check it during the commercial break.
00:29:44.910 --> 00:29:51.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But think about that are you being present in your relationships and again this doesn't have to be an intimate relationship.
00:29:51.510 --> 00:30:02.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: This doesn't have to be it could be a business partnership, it could be a familial relationship, it can be you, with your parents or with a sibling or with your children or with a cousin or whoever.
00:30:04.290 --> 00:30:08.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: coworker supervisor manager.
00:30:09.330 --> 00:30:11.130 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Employee doesn't matter.
00:30:12.420 --> 00:30:18.900 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Are you really being present with them in the relationship, whatever that relationship is.
00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:24.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, think about that, and when we come back.
00:30:25.650 --> 00:30:38.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Up give you key number two to avoiding heartbreak in your relationship so everyone, please stay tuned you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity and we'll be right back after these messages.
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00:32:46.650 --> 00:32:58.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Alright, welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity today we're talking all about the three keys to avoiding heartbreaking relationship, I see.
00:32:59.490 --> 00:33:08.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I mentioned about this spoon bending workshop I did a long time goes tonight posts in we can do a spoon bending work session in the park absolutely, so I would love to.
00:33:09.840 --> 00:33:12.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh, and she has a question for us all right.
00:33:13.290 --> 00:33:26.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What do you do if you have presence, but you intentionally ignore signs be because you have the spirit of fixing people to change outcome, how do you then acknowledge presence okay.
00:33:27.870 --> 00:33:34.590 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So this beautiful Thank you so now you're reading my mind kind of brings me actually to point to.
00:33:35.730 --> 00:33:39.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Which is all about our relationship with ourselves.
00:33:40.560 --> 00:33:44.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So whenever there's a relationship with another person.
00:33:46.260 --> 00:33:58.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: they're actually sort of three entities involved is ourselves as the other person and there's the entity of the relationship itself.
00:34:01.500 --> 00:34:15.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now, the thing is for us to show up and and to have real presence, a lot of it is about the relationship with ourselves right, and so, when you.
00:34:16.110 --> 00:34:27.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: are being if you're ignoring if you're intentionally ignoring things that are like red flags and things like be careful, you know that this looks like it could be a road landmine.
00:34:29.070 --> 00:34:34.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you're actually not being present like if you're ignoring those signs you're not truly being present.
00:34:35.430 --> 00:34:41.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the reason you're not truly being present is because of the relationship we have with ourselves.
00:34:42.270 --> 00:34:55.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Because when our relationship with ourselves is not right it's the foundation for our relationship with other people, and so we need to get that relationship right first.
00:34:57.150 --> 00:35:04.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so the presence will kind of show us in a way, where our relationship is not right with ourselves.
00:35:05.430 --> 00:35:18.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Because oftentimes the things that are going on in a relationship that causes challenges and difficulties and in pain it's actually not about the other person.
00:35:19.170 --> 00:35:21.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's actually all about ourselves.
00:35:22.890 --> 00:35:25.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know, we may enable another person.
00:35:27.210 --> 00:35:37.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: To not treat us well you know we accept that there you know the way they are, we may allow them to treat us poorly.
00:35:39.060 --> 00:35:55.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But ultimately we're the ones, allowing it we don't have to put up with it, there was always a choice we may feel like you know there's not enough, we don't have anywhere to go or we'd rather be with somebody that nobody.
00:35:56.160 --> 00:36:02.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But you see that comes down to our relationship with ourselves when we value ourselves enough.
00:36:04.440 --> 00:36:06.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We won't put up with that nonsense.
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:14.370 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: When our relationship with our self is right, and when, what do we mean by right.
00:36:16.140 --> 00:36:17.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We we've.
00:36:18.270 --> 00:36:25.770 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: worked on ourselves enough to undo the past trauma that damaged our self worth self esteem self image.
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:37.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That when we've gotten to that point where we can receive the good stuff and say you know what I deserve this.
00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:46.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now what it doesn't even matter whether they deserve it or not, I wanted the universe loves me and so it's okay for me to have this.
00:36:46.740 --> 00:36:56.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But when we get to that point we you know I mean look it's a process, we can always do better, but when we get to that point where we can receive.
00:36:57.750 --> 00:37:09.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and receive willingly openly the stuff that we really want and it's not really about what we leave it's about what we want, I mean, first and foremost we have to have, what we need.
00:37:10.980 --> 00:37:26.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But but that's like surviving i'm talking about thriving and thriving is about allowing into our life what it is that we truly want, but we can't do that unless we get the relationship right with ourselves.
00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:40.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and getting the relationship right with ourselves, allows us to not want to fix anybody that want to have a project not you know, trying to change anybody else.
00:37:41.100 --> 00:37:58.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's about knowing were perfect just the way we are doesn't mean we don't have room to grow doesn't mean we don't have things to learn doesn't mean like we can't like you know go off to do other things and work on ourselves and stuff.
00:38:00.180 --> 00:38:01.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But it means.
00:38:02.730 --> 00:38:16.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That we're Okay, and that we see that we're working progress that everyone's a work in progress and that will life itself, even though it may not seem like it it's actually perfect exactly the way it is.
00:38:17.970 --> 00:38:23.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And you know what that means that means that everybody else is perfect exactly the way they are.
00:38:25.080 --> 00:38:36.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now that can be a tough one, to deal with, if you see somebody being a real angel when you see somebody being mean and nasty and and that like being kind.
00:38:37.950 --> 00:38:43.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But you know what we don't live in their skin we haven't walked a mile in their shoes.
00:38:45.030 --> 00:38:48.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But if we're present to what they're doing, we can make.
00:38:50.730 --> 00:39:07.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The choice not to be with them, you see when we're really present to what's going on and we value ourselves enough, we want something that's going to feed us that's uplifting us that supports us that that gives us what we really want from life.
00:39:09.180 --> 00:39:23.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But if we don't value ourselves we're going to settle for less that we're going to settle for the crumbs we're going to sell for people treating us in a disrespectful unkind manipulative way.
00:39:25.620 --> 00:39:26.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But you see.
00:39:28.020 --> 00:39:30.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If we say you know what.
00:39:31.350 --> 00:39:35.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I love myself too much to put myself through that.
00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:42.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I don't need to fix anybody they're perfect the way they are, I just don't need to be around them.
00:39:44.880 --> 00:40:02.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know and who are we to say we know best for somebody else what they need we actually don't we have no clue now, we may see them as like a train wreck waiting to happen, we may be able to see so clearly because we're not them.
00:40:03.750 --> 00:40:16.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we're not as in the middle of their life we may have a different perspective and be able to be a little objective around it and see like oh my God, this is awful you got to stop this and they may not see it at all.
00:40:17.850 --> 00:40:22.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But the thing is, we can't do it for someone else.
00:40:24.150 --> 00:40:35.250 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because then we take away their agency, we take away their sense of self we all need to learn things for ourselves, I mean, yes, you know they.
00:40:35.820 --> 00:40:48.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: there's the old expression that there are two ways to learn things one is by grace and one is by Karma right grace is learning things through somebody else's experience Karma is learning things through our own experience.
00:40:51.060 --> 00:40:53.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But the truth is unless we're ready.
00:40:55.410 --> 00:41:03.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We can't really learn things by just someone else telling us it won't mean as much to us.
00:41:05.250 --> 00:41:13.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know, until we burn our own hand on the stove we won't understand what it means that, like to put your hand on something's too hot for us.
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:24.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's this real experience that really helps us get it and to know it and to get it at the very core of our be.
00:41:28.620 --> 00:41:36.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So when we get the relationship right with ourselves it's the foundation for them, the relationship with everything else.
00:41:38.280 --> 00:41:43.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now, you may say, Sam like how do I know if my relationship is right with myself.
00:41:44.340 --> 00:41:44.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: well.
00:41:47.490 --> 00:41:48.510 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: They say.
00:41:51.240 --> 00:42:03.150 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That everything in our life, our relationship to everything in our life comes from our relationship to the two primary people in our life, our mother figure in our father figure.
00:42:04.650 --> 00:42:06.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The other side, did not say our mother and father.
00:42:07.830 --> 00:42:12.150 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Mother figure and father figure there's two different energies.
00:42:14.460 --> 00:42:30.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now the relationship to the mother figure in our life that relationship actually defines our relationship to relationships relationships to other people Community friends family and ourselves.
00:42:31.620 --> 00:42:32.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So.
00:42:33.990 --> 00:42:39.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If we're not okay with our relationship with our mother figure in our life.
00:42:40.740 --> 00:42:43.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we've got some work to do on relationships.
00:42:46.110 --> 00:42:51.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, first and foremost get that relationship right.
00:42:54.180 --> 00:43:00.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it's not about having to say anything to that person that person may not even be living anymore.
00:43:01.860 --> 00:43:06.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's about how we feel about this person inside of ourselves.
00:43:08.190 --> 00:43:11.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I so clearly remember the moment.
00:43:13.110 --> 00:43:19.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That I got my relationship right with my mom I was here she was in Israel, the time she was still alive.
00:43:21.420 --> 00:43:34.560 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But I remember that moment that I finally got to see her as a woman as a woman, having her own experience in life, and not as a mother in the moment I was able to see that.
00:43:35.910 --> 00:43:40.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It like everything shifted and changed for me.
00:43:43.890 --> 00:43:52.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So take a look, when you just think about your mom or your mother figure in your life, how do you feel, how does it make you feel inside.
00:43:53.700 --> 00:44:00.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If there's any kind of not if there's any kind of tension any kind of density there.
00:44:02.190 --> 00:44:03.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And some work to do.
00:44:04.830 --> 00:44:15.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know, maybe it's worth going to see a therapist about maybe it's worth working with a coach or a life guide or a shaman or somebody.
00:44:18.300 --> 00:44:21.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But if you really want your relationships in your life.
00:44:23.670 --> 00:44:30.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: To be the kinds of relationships that are supportive and uplifting and make you feel good.
00:44:31.350 --> 00:44:41.880 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you've got to get that relationship with yourself right to means getting that relationship with your parents right and actually, although the father figure is more primarily about.
00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:46.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Money and finance and business and career and all that stuff.
00:44:47.310 --> 00:44:53.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Our parents and not just our parents our parents or grandparents or Great grandparents our ancestors they're all a part of us.
00:44:54.960 --> 00:45:11.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And if there's some aspect of our parents or ancestors that we're not okay with we're not okay with ourselves so that's some deep work and they know it's not easy and they know it takes time.
00:45:13.380 --> 00:45:18.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But it is the most valuable investment of time, we can make.
00:45:20.580 --> 00:45:23.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So that's key number two.
00:45:25.800 --> 00:45:29.730 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: To avoiding heartbreak in relationships.
00:45:30.810 --> 00:45:34.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Getting the relationship with ourselves right.
00:45:35.520 --> 00:45:51.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Okay, when we come back one more key and i'll go over with you, so you have any other questions start thinking about your relationship with yourself tonight, I hope that answered your question, but let me know.
00:45:52.080 --> 00:46:06.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If you still have any questions around that but posted to the Facebook live and i'll get to those questions when we come back right after this you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we will be right back after these messages.
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00:48:08.520 --> 00:48:13.770 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity.
00:48:14.730 --> 00:48:23.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: been talking today all about relationships and how to avoid the heartbreak that's normally associated with relationships so.
00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:33.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: i'm going through my three keys have already talked about the first key presence, the second key relationship with self third key i'm going to give it to you now.
00:48:34.590 --> 00:48:52.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So I mentioned briefly in the last segment about how important it is about how when we're in a relationship with another person is actually three entities involved there's our self is the other person and there's the relationship, the entity of the relationship itself.
00:48:55.980 --> 00:49:01.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so i've talked a lot about how we show up in the relationship.
00:49:02.880 --> 00:49:04.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: there's one other key.
00:49:06.270 --> 00:49:15.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: there's one other thing that can really help us to show up in the best way possible, so that we can have the best relationship possible.
00:49:18.030 --> 00:49:20.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And that he is really.
00:49:21.060 --> 00:49:29.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: A call it non attachment but that's probably not the best word for it because whenever you have a relationship there's some kind of attachment.
00:49:30.660 --> 00:49:34.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Perhaps it's more about non expectation.
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:36.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or.
00:49:39.360 --> 00:49:42.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or this just being open to what may come.
00:49:47.340 --> 00:50:01.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You see, when we have a relationship with another person there's often a lot of expectations there's this attachment to the other person has to be a certain way, and then the relationship has to look a certain way.
00:50:03.210 --> 00:50:07.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And when we have those kinds of expectations.
00:50:08.910 --> 00:50:19.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We tend to sort of get attached to this vision of what the relationship should look like, of the way the other person should be of how it should all unfold, and what should happen.
00:50:21.840 --> 00:50:26.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And oftentimes that expectation is rarely fulfill.
00:50:27.690 --> 00:50:30.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And is also not very.
00:50:31.860 --> 00:50:34.080 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Close to reality, let me say.
00:50:37.500 --> 00:50:46.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it's a releasing to really avoid heartbreak to really avoid having those challenges in relationships that we normally have.
00:50:46.860 --> 00:50:59.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's releasing those expectations it's releasing the attachments we have two things being either the way we want or being a certain way, or it has to look like this, or it has to look like that.
00:51:00.840 --> 00:51:06.510 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I mean so often have coached people and i've taught with friends.
00:51:07.710 --> 00:51:14.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it's like they're they're so torn up inside, because the other person, they are with.
00:51:14.820 --> 00:51:30.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Their like can't they just be like this, why do they have to be like that, and then that and it's like they place so much important and they're so attached to things being the way they want instead of the way they are.
00:51:36.150 --> 00:51:39.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: One time I heard I believe it's a Buddhist expression.
00:51:41.250 --> 00:51:47.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That suffering comes from not accepting the way things are.
00:51:51.120 --> 00:52:04.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so, when we're being too attached to something being a certain way we don't see that the way it actually is the get go it kind of goes back to presence.
00:52:06.240 --> 00:52:19.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But when we can learn to be not attached, and when I say non attached What I mean is not holding the expectations that things have to go the way we want.
00:52:20.100 --> 00:52:25.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's more about being here, as my friend Jennifer likes to say being curious on the adventure.
00:52:27.360 --> 00:52:43.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and using everything as an opportunity to learn about ourselves, and the other person, you see, because when we're attached to things being a certain way we're not open to the lessons that may come and seeing what we can learn from it.
00:52:45.810 --> 00:52:48.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so, when we can.
00:52:50.610 --> 00:52:55.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Be not attached to things being the way we want.
00:52:56.760 --> 00:53:08.940 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We can actually be present to the way they truly are and when we're presence, the way that we truly are we avoid the heartbreak because we can see things coming a mile away.
00:53:09.750 --> 00:53:21.510 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Like then we know like Oh, this is really the person, I want to be with I love their mannerisms I love that little quirks I love you know so much about them.
00:53:23.580 --> 00:53:32.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And we're in love with just the person, they are without them having to be who we want them to be.
00:53:35.250 --> 00:53:56.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And you know that's so important, so often there are these expectations, especially when it comes to our relationships to those closest to us are our children, our parents or brothers and sisters our closest relatives there's such expectation put on of having to be a certain way.
00:53:58.260 --> 00:54:03.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Where we can remove those expectations, when we can not be attached.
00:54:04.860 --> 00:54:15.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: To them, acting or showing up a certain way and be present to the way they're actually showing up and being, then we can truly.
00:54:16.230 --> 00:54:25.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: be free from the heartbreak that normally comes from expecting them to be the way we want them to be.
00:54:27.060 --> 00:54:33.690 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and think about it, how often are their expectations on us for us to be a certain way that we're not.
00:54:35.820 --> 00:54:36.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You see.
00:54:37.830 --> 00:54:55.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Like the old cliche goes what's good for the goose is good for the gander if we want to be treated a certain way if we don't want these expectations put on us and we don't want people to be so attached to like the way we're showing up we've got to show up that way as well.
00:54:58.440 --> 00:55:01.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And look the relationship may not work out.
00:55:02.970 --> 00:55:06.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it may be painful and it may hurt a bit.
00:55:08.400 --> 00:55:10.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But if we start with the.
00:55:12.150 --> 00:55:14.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: perspective of.
00:55:16.350 --> 00:55:20.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: This relationship might not last forever things might not go the way I want.
00:55:23.220 --> 00:55:29.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I don't need to put everything on this person I don't need to make so much meaning out of.
00:55:30.300 --> 00:55:32.760 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: what's going on with this relationship.
00:55:34.470 --> 00:55:54.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But i'm just going to be present for the moment, enjoy it Let it serve me Let it serve the other person, then we can really have a relationship that that can go so much deeper than we can learn so much about ourselves in the process and learned so much about the other person.
00:55:55.680 --> 00:56:00.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's not about the other person conforming to our every wish.
00:56:02.010 --> 00:56:09.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's about us naturally coming together the way my wife likes to put it it's like we're travelers on a path.
00:56:10.230 --> 00:56:24.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the path happens to come together and we walk along the path together, while we're together and then at some point in time, if that path diverges, then you know we go off in a different direction from that person in perhaps we meet someone else.
00:56:27.720 --> 00:56:32.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Relationships today are more complicated than they've ever been before.
00:56:33.660 --> 00:56:44.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: they're more challenging to navigate their their their more strenuous we're in a time of much more stress than we've ever been before.
00:56:45.930 --> 00:57:01.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But if we can really be present, if we can get the relationship right with ourselves, and if we can not be attached with how this relationship looks and how the other person is showing up and just see them for truly who they are, and how they're being.
00:57:04.080 --> 00:57:24.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: To me, those are the three keys to really having a relationship that serves us that serves the other person and truly can help us all to have a better life okay So those are my three keys to having a relationship that.
00:57:25.800 --> 00:57:32.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: doesn't come with heartbreak presence our relationship with ourselves and non attachment.
00:57:33.660 --> 00:57:43.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Thank you all for tuning in today son, I am so glad you're you enjoyed the show patty and William great i'm glad you're with us.
00:57:43.740 --> 00:58:00.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: hey if you have any questions if you have any perspectives if there's a topic you want me to cover my next show where I don't have a guest, please email me, you can always reach me at Sam at the conscious consultant calm.
00:58:01.350 --> 00:58:18.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Just Google Sam leibowitz you find me and, of course, if you missed any part of today's show you can always catch the replay as it when it's posted up on talk radio dot nyc and over all the podcasting platforms Google stitcher spotify apple.
00:58:19.170 --> 00:58:30.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Pandora I heart radio we're literally the conscious consultant hours everywhere, and if you happen to come across a podcasting platform or not on it, let me know and i'll make sure we get on this.
00:58:31.140 --> 00:58:42.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Thank you so much for tuning in today, I hope you enjoyed the show if you missed last week's show we had a wonderful show with katie mcmanus all about business take a listen to that next week.
00:58:44.010 --> 00:58:49.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I have a very special guest coming on it's actually someone who's been on my show before because.
00:58:49.770 --> 00:59:00.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Next week I am actually going to be taking the week off so it's going to be a rerun but it's going to be a really good replay and picking out the best show from the last couple of years, I think you're really gonna like it so.
00:59:00.990 --> 00:59:09.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Make sure you stay tuned next week same time same place, thank you all for tuning in we will talk to you next week.
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