By tuning in to this interview you will receive a new perspective with which to view aging, and how we can reverse the old phrase “getting old sucks” to see the valuable lessons we can learn as we live longer.
This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, Sam welcomes Author and Therapist, Connie Zweig, Ph.D.
Connie Zweig, Ph.D., is a retired therapist, co-author of Meeting the Shadow and Romancing the Shadow, author of Meeting the Shadow of Spirituality, and a novel, A Moth to the Flame: The Life of Sufi Poet Rumi.
Her new book, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul, extends shadow-work into late life and teaches aging as a spiritual practice. It won both the 2021 American Book Fest Award and the 2021 Best Indie Book Award for best inspirational non-fiction. Connie has been doing contemplative practices for more than 50 years. She is a wife, stepmother, and grandmother.
After investing in all these roles, she is practicing the shift from role to soul.
Sam and Connie will be discussing all the spiritual gifts of aging.
Blogging at: https://medium.com/@conniezweig
Website: https://conniezweig.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drconniezweig/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ReinventingAge
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dr.ConnieZweig/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLdvX4rtyOC4SA75JU98qaA?view_as=subscriber
Tune in for this enlightening conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.
Sam reads a section from his book Everyday Awakening. This section is called “The Kinder We are with Ourselves, The Easier it is to Take Responsibility.'' He talks about how many people go through fear when taking responsibility for our actions and words. Some of this fear is about being hard on ourselves and judgment. We fear making mistakes. But he says that we should be kinder to ourselves and everyone else. We are all human and humans make mistakes. Sam says that this doesn’t mean that we are letting ourselves off the hook, but he points out that we are not as kind and compassionate to others because we aren't like this to ourselves. When we become more gentle with ourselves, it's easier to forgive others and communicate with others as well as ourselves for mistakes when we all try to do better and take responsibility for what we do. Sam introduces his guest, Connie Zweig, a retired therapist, and author of her new book, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul, extends shadow-work into late life and teaches aging as a spiritual practice. Connie says that she was a journalist before getting her PHD in psychology. She was also in the publishing business for a decade. She was writing while also doing her private practice. Connie also studied the psychology of the unconscious rooted in Freud and Jung. She wanted to explore more about shadow work, especially since at the time there weren't a lot of books about it.
Sam asks Connie about what gave her the idea to write a book about aging and the work around it. She says that in her late 60s, when retiring from her therapy practice, she started to feel out of place and ask things like “who am I?” We know about the midlife crisis, but no one really talks about the late life crisis. She also mentions that today, everyone focuses on productivity and work. Connie says that there is an unconscious side of us that internalizes ageism and so there are people in this stage of their life who may not be able to accept their age and change in their life. Sam talks about how in the United States there's culture that idolizes youth, which affects how we think about ourselves. Connie says that all of the aspects of being human that carry the parts that are seen as negative, like aging, go into the “shadow”, and we deny them. She talks about ageism and how it’s seen in communities and institutions. Sam talks about her new book and it’s different sections. One of them is called “The Divine Messenger.” Connie talks about a legend where a young prince was very sheltered and didn’t see any suffering because he was kept inside the palace. One day he escaped and was shocked by what he saw on the outside. He saw an eldery, ill person, and a corpse. She says this gives an awakening to realize that life is temporary in this way, shown by the physical changes that happen to everyone.
Connie and Sam continue discussing her new book. They talk about the pandemic bringing awareness. Many people experienced loss and brought awareness of the risk and vulnerability that we all have. She also brings up an interesting concern that in a couple of years, when hopefully the pandemic is managed even better, that many people will forget about this awareness and that it will go back into the “unconscious.” She says that she’s met people who do not let themselves grieve. But everyone handles grieving differently. Connie and Sam also discuss how age is seen differently in cultures and communities. Connie speaks about indigenous cultures that have a different relationship to the eldery and recognizes the transition into elderhood as a transition about storytelling, memories, and values. In her book she writes that when we become aware about our immortality, we search for what we believe in and what we do such as spirituality, look for a certain community, or religion. Connie also speaks about the subtitle of her book, Shifting from Role to Soul. She discusses how for most of our lives, we focus on the roles we have; we are a brother, sister, wife, husband, cousin, therapist, etc. Through time, these roles disappear. Her book includes practices to shift from our roles to who we really are as a person, as a human being.
Coming back from the final break, Connie and Sam continue their conversation about aging. Connie says that age is our curriculum. All the challenges that we have can be worked with. We can see things like caregiving as a spiritual practice. She says that we have a lot of challenges, whether mental or physical. But we have tools that can help us reach new stages of awareness. Connie and Sam also discuss the idea that “aging sucks.” Connie says that there are very difficult topics about aging. She says that the whole truth about this stage of life is important to be aware about. Connie also talks about working with her own inner ageism and the challenges she went through, which she also discusses in her book. Connie gives some advice to those who are struggling with challenges about coming to terms with aging. She talks about meditation, and choosing a cause and community working in an area that you are passionate about. She also says to ask yourself, if you are on your deathbed now, what would you be regretting about what you never said or done. How can you change that now to be at peace in your life and towards the end? Before closing the show, Sam asks Connie about who is an elder that she has seen as a role model and looked up to. She mentions Ram Dass. She credits him as someone who she borrowed the phrase “role to soul” from. She says that she is very grateful to him for being a role model for her and her generation. You can learn more about Connie at conniezweig.com, and Dr. Connie Zweig on Facebook and Linkedin. Sam thanks Connie for joining him today and sharing more about her new book as it is very insightful!
00:00:37.980 --> 00:00:42.180 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Good afternoon, my conscious co creators.
00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:44.040 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Welcome to another edition.
00:00:44.040 --> 00:00:52.260 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Of the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, I am very, very pleased that you're all here with me today.
00:00:52.620 --> 00:00:58.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i've got a special I consider a special kind of show today with a guest where we're going to be talking about a topic that.
00:00:59.160 --> 00:01:07.470 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: don't often talk about on the show today, but still a very important topic, nonetheless, so I hope you all will stay with us throughout the show.
00:01:07.800 --> 00:01:19.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: First, of course, I have a little section oh and, by the way, before I start with my section from my book, everyday awakening I do hope you all had a chance to catch my show last week with Jennifer half.
00:01:20.220 --> 00:01:34.860 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Talking about her brand new book unstuck it was a wonderful interview she's a dear friend and mentor of mine, so please if you haven't had a chance you can go to talk radio dot nyc and catch the episode from last week.
00:01:36.210 --> 00:01:49.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But now, let me just talk about a really quickly my little section from my book, every day awakening and this section is entitled the kinder we are with ourselves, the easier it is to take responsibility.
00:01:51.480 --> 00:02:00.090 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: How do we take responsibility for our actions, how do we show up when we've made a mistake or done something we thought better of afterward.
00:02:00.750 --> 00:02:08.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Do we justify and throw blame on others, or do we go beyond the idea of blame and merely make it right, what we have done.
00:02:09.390 --> 00:02:20.430 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: All too often in society, we find that people fear to take responsibility for their actions and words we see how people deny or change what happened, out of fear.
00:02:21.300 --> 00:02:29.640 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Fear drives us to hide from the consequences of our deeds, we fear how others will respond and react to what we have said or done.
00:02:30.090 --> 00:02:36.630 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We fear it, not because of what others may do, but because of our own judgments about ourselves.
00:02:37.170 --> 00:02:58.620 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We fear it because we are being too hard on ourselves and secretly we are condemning ourselves long before anyone else knows what happened, this is because we are always our worst critics our own worst detractors we are far harsher on ourselves than anyone else can ever be.
00:02:59.970 --> 00:03:09.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Our fears are are not about what others may do our fears are about merely being exposed and being seen for what we have done.
00:03:10.170 --> 00:03:21.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We fear being human we fear making mistakes, yet when we allow ourselves to be human and make mistakes we allow others to do the same.
00:03:21.900 --> 00:03:38.130 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: When we become more compassionate towards ourselves, we can be more compassionate towards others, and when we all soften into compassion for being human, there is no reason to be afraid to take responsibility.
00:03:39.210 --> 00:03:56.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We are all guilty of something so let's be more kind to ourselves and to everyone else is there something in your life, you can take responsibility for can you clean it up and make it right, without making yourself wrong.
00:03:57.720 --> 00:04:10.980 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So this section of my book, I wrote a little while ago, this is probably one of the more recent ones, but it was sort of an insight I had after one when gathering.
00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:19.980 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: about how we're really so hard on ourselves, like and I remember, I think I was working with a woman.
00:04:21.540 --> 00:04:31.410 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And she could see like every little thing that she had done wrong in a particular situation, and she was making herself so wrong for just being human now look.
00:04:32.370 --> 00:04:42.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: This is not to let us off the hook, this is not to say that we, we should not make an effort to be more kind more caring more compassionate.
00:04:43.740 --> 00:04:59.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But oftentimes I see that we're not as kind and compassionate to others because we're not kind of compassionate to ourselves we're so judgmental of any little thing we did wrong that when somebody else does the same thing.
00:05:00.090 --> 00:05:05.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It kind of holds the mirror up to us and we're like oh my God oh I can't believe it.
00:05:06.540 --> 00:05:12.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And we become very critical because it's actually something about ourselves that we don't want to see.
00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:15.180 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And they find that.
00:05:16.710 --> 00:05:23.910 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: When we can allow ourselves to be a little bit more human when we can allow make it okay.
00:05:24.660 --> 00:05:42.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That we made a mistake, not that we should keep making mistakes, but to say Okay, I made this mistake, let me clean it up, let me do what's right, let me do right by this other person I may not have done right by let me, you know, make a better effort and be a better person next time.
00:05:43.470 --> 00:05:50.280 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And and not sort of condemn ourselves that just because we made a mistake we're a bad or evil person.
00:05:52.080 --> 00:06:13.290 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Then we can relax we can breathe, we can it actually makes it easier to own and take responsibility for the things we've done wrong, because then it's not a condemnation of ourselves and our soul and our our our essential being.
00:06:14.430 --> 00:06:19.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's just a behavior that we feel we need to do better with.
00:06:22.290 --> 00:06:34.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so i've seen it by working with many people that as they start to become more compassionate to themselves as they start to become kinder and gentler to themselves.
00:06:35.790 --> 00:06:48.090 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Suddenly they're kinder and gentler to everyone else it's easier for them to allow the other person to make a mistake and once they own it up and clean it up to forgive them.
00:06:50.100 --> 00:06:56.790 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so I just felt like this was an important perspective to kind of highlight.
00:06:59.400 --> 00:07:16.620 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Because I just seen like when we're just a little kinder a little gentler a little easier on ourselves, we can be kinder and gentler and easier and other people and then suddenly life becomes.
00:07:17.670 --> 00:07:30.750 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Much more enjoyable to live suddenly we're not quite as stressed out about things, suddenly, you know something that somebody used to do doesn't quite annoy us as much.
00:07:31.860 --> 00:07:42.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And then also we're not afraid to confront people about what we do feel was wrong, but we do see that they did, that was a mistake that we feel needs to be cleaned up.
00:07:43.110 --> 00:07:53.610 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And having those conversations and just being honest and vulnerable about how we feel about something like that's the real goal that really like helps us so much.
00:07:54.720 --> 00:08:04.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So um I little section from my book, I don't want to belabor the point or go too much on to because I really want to bring on my guest but.
00:08:04.950 --> 00:08:10.020 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah the section is called the kind of we are to ourselves, the easier it is to take responsibility.
00:08:10.470 --> 00:08:25.020 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And that's from my book, everyday awakening which, if you haven't gotten it yet please feel free to go to everyday awakening book.com and pick up a copy, and now it is my pleasure to welcome to the show.
00:08:26.100 --> 00:08:26.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Connie.
00:08:28.230 --> 00:08:30.150 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Is wig hope I got that right.
00:08:31.620 --> 00:08:32.370 Connie Zweig: that's why.
00:08:32.610 --> 00:08:43.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's why Okay, who is a retired therapist and a writer is known as the shadow expert she's The co author of meeting the shadow and romancing the shadow.
00:08:44.280 --> 00:08:55.320 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And the author of meeting the shadow of spirituality and a novel entitled a moth to the flame the life of sufi poet rumi I wanted to ask you a little bit about that.
00:08:55.770 --> 00:09:10.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Her new best selling book the inner work of age, shifting from role to Seoul extends her work on the shadow into midlife and beyond, and explores aging as a spiritual practice, something that I think is really very important.
00:09:11.640 --> 00:09:16.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's one both the 2021 American book fest award and the.
00:09:17.400 --> 00:09:28.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Best indie book Award for best inspirational nonfiction book Connie has been doing contemplated practices for more than 50 years she is a wife step mother and grandmother.
00:09:29.100 --> 00:09:41.520 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: After all, these roles she's practicing the shift from role to soul and here's just to show us what her wonderful book looks like, which is why we're here today, so welcome to the conscious consultant our Connie.
00:09:42.240 --> 00:09:43.860 Connie Zweig: Thank you for having me Sam.
00:09:45.030 --> 00:09:47.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: A real pleasure, a real pleasure um.
00:09:49.230 --> 00:09:56.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Oh, and I already see one of my loyal listeners tonight said she's a wonderful and she ordered the book already Thank you so and I.
00:09:56.250 --> 00:09:56.460 Think.
00:09:57.480 --> 00:09:58.560 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: really enjoy my.
00:09:58.800 --> 00:10:13.050 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: My loyal listeners are the best I love my loyal listeners, they are amazing i'm so Connie I see like you've really come out with a lot of books and you've kind of made the shift from from therapists to write or What was it that kind of.
00:10:14.460 --> 00:10:18.810 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: pulled you or inspired you to move in that direction.
00:10:20.640 --> 00:10:35.520 Connie Zweig: um well i've been writing all along actually okay yeah so I was a journalist before i'm getting my PhD in psychology and then I was in the publishing business for a decade.
00:10:35.760 --> 00:10:52.860 Connie Zweig: Oh yeah developing books for other people and during that time I started doing my own books so meeting the shadow came out probably 30 years ago, at least.
00:10:53.730 --> 00:11:05.580 Connie Zweig: And then, in my 40s I decided to go back to school and become a psychologist and so, then I began writing.
00:11:07.140 --> 00:11:09.360 Connie Zweig: More in the psychology world.
00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:12.630 Connie Zweig: And romancing the shadow.
00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:14.130 and
00:11:15.420 --> 00:11:36.420 Connie Zweig: Eventually, I was doing both I was doing my private practice, and I was writing, at the same time, and they were very well integrated because I had so many anecdotal stories from people's interesting lives to us in the books that I was teaching about shadow work.
00:11:37.170 --> 00:11:49.140 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And what was it about shadow work that attracted you so much because there's so many like different aspects of things we can focus on, and always curious like what is it about one particular aspect that Troy somebody in.
00:11:50.040 --> 00:11:57.150 Connie Zweig: Well, my graduate school was a training in depth psychology which ology of the unconscious.
00:11:57.300 --> 00:12:07.980 Connie Zweig: yeah rooted in Freud and young man, I was looking for a psychology that included spirituality because I was meditating since I was 19 years old.
00:12:08.310 --> 00:12:08.790 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: mm hmm.
00:12:09.030 --> 00:12:21.000 Connie Zweig: So when I discovered Carl young I realized that I wanted to explore that more because he had the depth and the heights he sort of.
00:12:21.060 --> 00:12:23.820 Connie Zweig: embraced all of who we are.
00:12:24.060 --> 00:12:48.450 Connie Zweig: Yes, and nobody was really writing popular books, then, about the shadow, which is young's name for the unconscious and how we work with material that's outside of our awareness, as it seems to erupt sometimes in destructive ways like you were talking about self acceptance.
00:12:48.660 --> 00:12:59.220 Connie Zweig: um well the critic as it's popularly known is a shadow figure it arises from the unconscious and criticizes us.
00:12:59.910 --> 00:13:13.620 Connie Zweig: For reasons that we can actually begin to understand how we internalize those messages and they became this voice in our head that criticizes us and makes us run if we do something that isn't perfect.
00:13:14.760 --> 00:13:25.470 Connie Zweig: You feel guilt and we feel shame and all of that is related to the shadow or the unconscious process, and there are many, many examples of that like addiction.
00:13:26.130 --> 00:13:28.680 Connie Zweig: or lying or jealousy.
00:13:29.370 --> 00:13:31.620 Connie Zweig: or anger that's out of control.
00:13:31.920 --> 00:13:54.210 Connie Zweig: Right all of that originates it builds charge in the unconscious shadow any REPS in our lives, so when I wrote romancing the shadow with the colleague, we developed a method that we call shadow work to begin to make that material conscious and learn how to work with it.
00:13:55.230 --> 00:14:00.300 Connie Zweig: The way that it lost its unconscious charge and we built a conscious relationship with it.
00:14:01.410 --> 00:14:04.230 Connie Zweig: understand why am I criticizing myself.
00:14:04.260 --> 00:14:06.510 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Or why am I angry all the time.
00:14:06.780 --> 00:14:09.690 Connie Zweig: or criticizing my spouse people have that habit.
00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:12.510 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Yes.
00:14:13.260 --> 00:14:22.530 Connie Zweig: Meeting other people or lying when I don't want to lie so that so that kind of because those books were successful.
00:14:22.890 --> 00:14:24.960 Connie Zweig: I realized that I was meeting in need.
00:14:25.380 --> 00:14:39.840 Connie Zweig: um and then the same thing happened with the new book the inner work of age, as I entered my late 60s I realized there was nothing written anywhere about the unconscious process of aging.
00:14:40.230 --> 00:14:47.550 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah yeah all right let's hold it there, because I want to really get into the book in depth, but we got to take our first commercial break.
00:14:48.270 --> 00:14:52.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Once again, a Connie is the author of the inner work of age.
00:14:53.370 --> 00:15:06.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: shifting from role to soul and we're going to really dive into the book over the next 45 minutes so everybody, please stay tuned you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we do this every Thursday.
00:15:07.020 --> 00:15:16.680 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: 12 noon to 1pm Eastern right here on talk radio dot nyc and all over Facebook with our Facebook live video, and we will be right back after these messages.
00:17:33.450 --> 00:17:41.310 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity we're speaking this hour with Connie.
00:17:42.510 --> 00:17:49.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: author of the book the inner work of age i'm so kind of we started to talk about the last.
00:17:50.430 --> 00:18:04.170 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: segment just a little bit about why you started getting into the shadow work and how, when you came out with this book he got such a response that you realized, it was something important what kind of gave you the.
00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:13.110 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: The general idea to just even look at aging and look at and consider writing a book around aging and the inner work around it.
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:20.670 Connie Zweig: Well, you know as I began to think about retirement from my clinical practice.
00:18:21.900 --> 00:18:32.850 Connie Zweig: In my late 60s, I really started to feel disoriented and I realized that I was asking the age old spiritual question who am I.
00:18:33.630 --> 00:18:39.960 Connie Zweig: i'm if i'm not Dr Connie the shadow expert who am I.
00:18:40.590 --> 00:18:45.120 Connie Zweig: i'm if i'm not helping people all day long who am I.
00:18:46.260 --> 00:18:57.660 Connie Zweig: And I began to realize that there was a late life identity crisis that I had never seen talked about or written about anywhere, we know about the midlife crisis.
00:18:58.680 --> 00:19:02.250 Connie Zweig: A similar thing happens with this transition.
00:19:03.570 --> 00:19:11.820 Connie Zweig: And even though I had my spiritual practices, I realized that our culture is so focused on doing.
00:19:12.510 --> 00:19:30.930 Connie Zweig: Our identity as productive and successful and helping and doing and who am I if i'm not that and so um, the first thing I did was look for some positive ageing communities.
00:19:31.500 --> 00:19:33.030 Connie Zweig: And I found staging.
00:19:33.030 --> 00:19:37.140 Connie Zweig: International and they have a one year.
00:19:38.610 --> 00:19:40.620 Connie Zweig: Training program to become an elder.
00:19:41.910 --> 00:19:53.190 Connie Zweig: And so I went through that process and it's a beautiful rite of passage, but it doesn't include the unconscious or the shadow and I realized that.
00:19:53.670 --> 00:20:13.140 Connie Zweig: A lot of the fears and beliefs and attitudes and images about aging are unconscious and people, so if a 60 year old says to me I don't want to say how old I am I realized that there's some unconscious and what I call the inner ageist.
00:20:13.620 --> 00:20:23.340 Connie Zweig: hmm part of us that has internalized ageism and doesn't want to accept the truth of what's happening.
00:20:24.210 --> 00:20:25.260 Connie Zweig: And so.
00:20:25.350 --> 00:20:28.320 Connie Zweig: I knew that there was another book for me to write.
00:20:29.340 --> 00:20:41.790 Connie Zweig: And that I could contribute by exploring how the shadow is affecting us through the lifespan in our 50s 60s 70s 80s 90s.
00:20:42.210 --> 00:20:43.230 Connie Zweig: After midlife.
00:20:44.310 --> 00:20:46.020 Connie Zweig: That hadn't been done before.
00:20:46.710 --> 00:21:07.770 Connie Zweig: And then I found fantastic research out of Yale university about a woman psychologist who's for decades has studied how the unconscious process about aging is affecting our health, our memory our longevity our mental health.
00:21:08.190 --> 00:21:09.900 Connie Zweig: And then I knew I had to write the book.
00:21:10.230 --> 00:21:17.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: wow wow wonderful wonderful yeah and it's interesting, I do think it's a very timely book because.
00:21:18.810 --> 00:21:32.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm like on the tail end of the baby boomers and and there's such a huge section of the population that's now moving into this older age that there are a lot of people out there who.
00:21:32.790 --> 00:21:37.080 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Are kind of dealing with this issue, I mean I personally know some people.
00:21:37.410 --> 00:21:47.430 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Who as much as I may not want to admit my age, they are so much more in denial and they're younger than me, I mean that's the thing that's so funny like they're even younger than me.
00:21:48.090 --> 00:21:57.210 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And they're like are such a fear of aging and getting older and losing their youth and vitality that it really is because we've.
00:21:58.050 --> 00:22:12.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: At least in the United States i'm not quite sure it's the same in Europe, but it could be in other places in the world, but in the United States there's such a culture of of idolizing youth.
00:22:12.810 --> 00:22:13.530 Connie Zweig: that's right.
00:22:13.650 --> 00:22:34.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That that yeah anything that's not young and handsome and beautiful is like not considered good and and it's will take some work to sort of counter that to help us not to feel bad just because we're not you know 30 years old and and fit is an Olympian.
00:22:35.700 --> 00:22:59.190 Connie Zweig: yeah so young, is good and all these bad right yeah wrong is good and week is bad independent is good and D is bad, so all of this splitting what happens is the the aspects of being human that carry these negative projections or associations go into the shadow.
00:23:00.300 --> 00:23:07.110 Connie Zweig: And we deny them for many times for women it's about appearance and image.
00:23:07.260 --> 00:23:11.400 Connie Zweig: yeah right many times for men it's about independence.
00:23:11.460 --> 00:23:25.770 Connie Zweig: I mean the fear of dependency in men is just epidemic, from what I found so i've interviewed hundreds of people now so there's a lot of you know, and there are 10,000 people turning 65 every day.
00:23:27.600 --> 00:23:31.680 Connie Zweig: wow yes wow and every single country.
00:23:31.710 --> 00:23:37.020 Connie Zweig: is aging now has more people growing all than being born every country.
00:23:37.050 --> 00:23:40.140 Connie Zweig: yeah but, again, like Japan it's a real.
00:23:40.320 --> 00:23:41.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: crisis there.
00:23:42.030 --> 00:23:46.440 Connie Zweig: that's right because there are many, many people who are becoming.
00:23:47.640 --> 00:23:58.500 Connie Zweig: frail and dependent and the families have to do a lot of caregiving and that interrupts what productivity.
00:23:58.860 --> 00:24:00.810 Connie Zweig: and supporting the economy.
00:24:01.260 --> 00:24:13.680 Connie Zweig: Right so there's a lot of kind of ageism built into our institutions around these values, but my point is that it's built into us into our psyches.
00:24:13.860 --> 00:24:28.620 Connie Zweig: hmm in the shadow and that's really what i'm emphasizing ages and from the inside out because there are a lot of people who are working on social economic housing ages and in the workplace and all that.
00:24:29.040 --> 00:24:38.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Right right right yeah oh absolutely absolutely because it's that the outer is just a reflection of what's going on inside.
00:24:39.840 --> 00:24:52.620 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so, your book is divided up into four major parts, the divine messengers the LIFE review and life repair from hero to elder and life completion.
00:24:54.750 --> 00:25:07.470 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So, so I just would love to touch upon each of these just slightly to give a little bit of our audience a little bit of a taste of what it's like so the divine messengers What do you mean by a messenger and what's a divine messenger.
00:25:09.240 --> 00:25:15.060 Connie Zweig: Well um there's a legend about siddharth the Buddha.
00:25:15.390 --> 00:25:15.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: mm hmm.
00:25:17.220 --> 00:25:22.410 Connie Zweig: And the story is that, as a young Prince, he was very sheltered.
00:25:23.490 --> 00:25:45.960 Connie Zweig: And, as I was, I was very sheltered by my family and he didn't see any suffering because he was kept inside the palace, and one day he escaped and he walked the streets, like me, when I left home and went to college in Berkeley in the late 60s.
00:25:47.250 --> 00:25:50.910 Connie Zweig: And he was totally shocked I was totally shocked by.
00:25:50.970 --> 00:25:51.660 Connie Zweig: What I saw.
00:25:51.990 --> 00:25:54.360 Connie Zweig: I think many people can relate to this.
00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:58.110 Connie Zweig: And he focused on first he's.
00:26:00.450 --> 00:26:01.860 Connie Zweig: An old person.
00:26:02.490 --> 00:26:14.310 Connie Zweig: and had no idea that that was kind of the fate of the human body, then he saw an ill person and then he saw a corpse.
00:26:15.120 --> 00:26:32.280 Connie Zweig: And so illness, old age and death in Buddhism are called the divine messengers and they wake us up to the temporary enos of our lives and the reality of aging and of mortality.
00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:46.620 Connie Zweig: And so you know I kind of had a nice day and I think many of our listeners probably did as I entered my 60s I wasn't really contemplating aging or mortality.
00:26:47.640 --> 00:26:50.670 Connie Zweig: And then these divine messengers began to come.
00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:55.920 Connie Zweig: To have my friends my closest friends died while I was reading the book.
00:26:56.400 --> 00:26:57.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Oh wow.
00:26:57.240 --> 00:27:01.200 Connie Zweig: yeah my husband was diagnosed with a serious illness.
00:27:01.650 --> 00:27:18.360 Connie Zweig: And these things wake us up to the reality that we're we're changing our bodies are changing for some of us our minds are changing and how do we want to live the precious time that we have left.
00:27:18.690 --> 00:27:24.900 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah yeah I saw that a lot with my mom because she lived to 99 and a half, I mean that's a.
00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:35.340 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: pretty good age, most people don't make it, but I also saw how, in the last 10 years of her life, she started to outlive everyone in her life, except her children.
00:27:35.820 --> 00:27:46.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: All of her friends past her relatives who were like of her generation all past mean, I think we had one cousin who made it to 101 but.
00:27:47.700 --> 00:28:03.330 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know, it really I could see it taking its toll on her, and I think part of the reason why she lived that long was because my sister who moved to Israel when she was in college and she's married and has kids I don't have any kids so.
00:28:04.410 --> 00:28:11.010 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: She convinced my mom to move to an Assisted Living facility in Israel when she was 91 she'd been living here in New York.
00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:20.490 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Up until then, and so, once her close friends once they all passed she really didn't have anything keeping her year.
00:28:20.940 --> 00:28:25.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So when she moved to Israel, I believe, one of the reasons she lived until 99 and a half was.
00:28:26.430 --> 00:28:38.940 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: She made new friends there, she was in a different environment she got different stimulation people there are very family oriented they invite her to their homes which people here don't really do that much so.
00:28:39.030 --> 00:28:41.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah grow a little bit of a new lease on life.
00:28:42.060 --> 00:28:47.520 Connie Zweig: So social isolation is a really big factor and we saw that during the pandemic.
00:28:47.850 --> 00:28:49.020 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Yes, and I want.
00:28:50.010 --> 00:29:01.410 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I want to talk more about that because also i've seen a lot of people also lose people during this pandemic, for various reasons, but we've got to take a break, I just want to try and keep us on schedule.
00:29:02.130 --> 00:29:08.130 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So when we come back let's talk just a little bit more about that, and how sort of the pandemic is sort of highlighted this.
00:29:08.820 --> 00:29:18.060 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: More so than even before that, and then I do want to touch a goat get to the difference between being old and being an elder.
00:29:18.750 --> 00:29:34.530 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Because you mentioned that that is a very fascinating concept to me so everybody, please stay tuned you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we will be right back with kind of these week author of the inner work of age, right after this.
00:31:41.040 --> 00:31:51.180 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity and we're talking this hour all about the inner work of age, so Connie you touched upon something.
00:31:52.590 --> 00:31:58.080 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: in writing this book about how it sort of brought things up for yourself how a couple of your.
00:31:59.190 --> 00:32:10.530 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: People you know, in your life transition, while you were writing the book and it's something that we're seeing a lot i've seen a lot hearing it from other people just over the last couple of years.
00:32:11.190 --> 00:32:21.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Whether it was from covert or not a lot of people i've heard have passed from other things, not from covert but still pass during the last couple of years.
00:32:21.930 --> 00:32:38.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: As we mentioned it could be from social isolation or or what have you or just tired of being in this situation um so this really is coming to the forefront, and really coming to people's minds, much more so than it did probably three or four or five years ago.
00:32:40.650 --> 00:32:46.740 Connie Zweig: yeah I think there was a really entrenched denial of mortality in our culture.
00:32:48.390 --> 00:32:53.430 Connie Zweig: For most of our lives and most of our parents lives and so on, and.
00:32:54.510 --> 00:33:03.000 Connie Zweig: The pandemic did bring some awareness of several things I would say.
00:33:03.510 --> 00:33:04.080 Connie Zweig: one.
00:33:04.110 --> 00:33:08.970 Connie Zweig: So many people experienced loss of a friend or family member.
00:33:12.030 --> 00:33:16.200 Connie Zweig: And that really did raise an awareness of the risk.
00:33:17.340 --> 00:33:23.940 Connie Zweig: And the vulnerability of all of us, and especially of older adults.
00:33:24.390 --> 00:33:40.890 Connie Zweig: yeah and the other thing that it brought up was an awareness of ageism in housing and the age segregation that we experience in our culture, whereas you know in other times in places many generations live together.
00:33:41.280 --> 00:34:01.410 Connie Zweig: Right and now so many older people are separated from everyone, which creates that isolation, you were talking about so my sense is given you know how the mind works that in a few years, assuming the pandemic is managed by then.
00:34:02.280 --> 00:34:03.360 Connie Zweig: People will forget.
00:34:04.260 --> 00:34:10.170 Connie Zweig: um and it, you know that awareness will kind of go back into the unconscious.
00:34:10.740 --> 00:34:12.180 So um.
00:34:13.620 --> 00:34:22.380 Connie Zweig: I think you know grief and loss are different for different individuals, everyone has different ways of working with it.
00:34:23.640 --> 00:34:37.290 Connie Zweig: Some people work with it in a religious or spiritual context other people work with it, you know emotionally other people just quickly get through it and deny it.
00:34:37.650 --> 00:34:38.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know, after that.
00:34:39.120 --> 00:34:45.450 Connie Zweig: yeah so people have different ways of working with this, but it's um it's a challenge.
00:34:45.900 --> 00:34:56.520 Connie Zweig: And it brings in it, you know, the other day I was running a group and people were talking about many people said, I never let myself feel grief I don't let myself feel.
00:34:56.520 --> 00:34:58.860 Connie Zweig: It so from my point of.
00:34:58.860 --> 00:35:03.630 Connie Zweig: view part of this shift that you mentioned from senior to elder.
00:35:04.290 --> 00:35:06.000 Connie Zweig: is allowing ourselves to.
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:06.630 grieve.
00:35:07.920 --> 00:35:11.970 Connie Zweig: allowing ourselves to grieve our unloved lives.
00:35:12.660 --> 00:35:14.820 Connie Zweig: The dreams that we had.
00:35:15.300 --> 00:35:27.510 Connie Zweig: That we didn't get to experience the people we've lost the creative aspirations that we didn't explore, I mean there are so many sort of.
00:35:28.350 --> 00:35:45.510 Connie Zweig: losses and unloved aspects of this time in our life and part of doing a life review, which I teach in my workshops in my book, is that we can begin to reclaim some of that unloved material now.
00:35:46.500 --> 00:35:48.990 Connie Zweig: Once we uncover what it is let's say.
00:35:49.050 --> 00:35:52.830 Connie Zweig: A feeling that got buried, because it was forbidden in our family.
00:35:53.490 --> 00:35:58.560 Connie Zweig: We can begin to reclaim that feeling and explore it now with our new longevity.
00:35:59.670 --> 00:36:01.680 Connie Zweig: or a creative talent.
00:36:03.060 --> 00:36:03.270 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah.
00:36:03.330 --> 00:36:11.490 Connie Zweig: or a spiritual aspiration, you know I always wanted to learn to meditate but I never had time we can begin to explore that now.
00:36:12.720 --> 00:36:20.580 Connie Zweig: So this connection between you know our losses and our longevity is not all dark.
00:36:21.060 --> 00:36:25.410 Connie Zweig: Because of the possibilities that we have now for this time of life.
00:36:26.040 --> 00:36:26.550 Right.
00:36:28.650 --> 00:36:36.900 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Oh, this like I have, like so many things, what is a based on what you just said that the first thing I wanted to mention was my wife comes from China.
00:36:37.590 --> 00:36:44.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And i've been to China, a couple of times you know, several times already and I noticed that there's a much different attitude in China.
00:36:44.700 --> 00:36:56.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: towards the elderly than then here in the United States, like the elderly are really revered and taking care of much better, I mean it's changing and it might not be as good as it was when I went there several years ago.
00:36:57.360 --> 00:37:03.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: um but but different cultures around the world do treat aging differently don't say.
00:37:03.900 --> 00:37:04.710 Yes.
00:37:05.730 --> 00:37:17.010 Connie Zweig: um you know I I kind of object to the word elderly Sam okay cuz it's loaded with emotional charge for people.
00:37:17.280 --> 00:37:25.770 Connie Zweig: Okay um I think you know, there are indigenous cultures, both here and in Africa and in.
00:37:27.240 --> 00:37:33.210 Connie Zweig: Australia and elsewhere, that have a different relationship to the Elder.
00:37:33.690 --> 00:37:42.270 Connie Zweig: Yes, and actually recognize that the transition into elder hood is about.
00:37:43.470 --> 00:37:55.590 Connie Zweig: storytelling and memories and has great nobility and value and it's also about spiritual potential there are spiritual elders right.
00:37:55.800 --> 00:37:58.260 Connie Zweig: yeah native cultures all over the world.
00:37:58.410 --> 00:37:59.490 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And the wisdom.
00:37:59.610 --> 00:38:01.380 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And the wisdom of the elders.
00:38:01.530 --> 00:38:09.540 Connie Zweig: Yes, and so we've lost that in white post modern Eurocentric culture.
00:38:09.990 --> 00:38:10.830 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Absolutely.
00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:16.950 Connie Zweig: we've lost libraries, full of people yeah and we've lost.
00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:31.530 Connie Zweig: The grandparents and great parents grandparents and their value, I know for myself, I didn't have an elder throughout my life I didn't have a grandparent I could look at that way.
00:38:31.620 --> 00:38:42.480 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: me too much all my grandparents died before my parents were even married and before I was born, so I never really had anyone who I saw in that role.
00:38:42.990 --> 00:38:51.450 Connie Zweig: And so, that means we don't internalize that have a model for that for ourselves as we age.
00:38:51.510 --> 00:39:02.910 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah yeah and and my my father actually died when I was quite young when I was in high school and he was he was 60 when he died now he had had.
00:39:03.720 --> 00:39:17.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I think was scarlet fever, when he was a kid and it damaged his heart, so he had a heart condition Throughout his life and back then, you know they didn't teach you to exercise, they said rest you gotta rest, which now we know is actually not necessarily the best.
00:39:17.400 --> 00:39:18.300 Connie Zweig: thing right.
00:39:18.450 --> 00:39:33.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But but um as a kid like I always have this memory of him being very religious like he turned kind of orthodox but you know I heard stories of my mom after he passed that he actually was less religious than her.
00:39:34.020 --> 00:39:45.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But towards the end of his life and his last 10 years or so, he became very religious and spent a lot of time in the synagogue and studying the Bible um is that.
00:39:46.050 --> 00:40:00.240 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: What you find sort of a common, maybe not so common but sort of a general theme that as we age and maybe death starts feeling a little bit closer we start looking towards a more spiritual aspect to life.
00:40:00.810 --> 00:40:08.880 Connie Zweig: Well, in the book I write a lot about when we become aware of mortality, how do we prepare.
00:40:09.990 --> 00:40:20.100 Connie Zweig: So there's emotional repair giving and receiving forgiveness really cleaning up our relationships and their spiritual repair.
00:40:20.610 --> 00:40:34.710 Connie Zweig: um, how do we reimagine now, in the context of death, what we really believe about life and about the divine and about life after death.
00:40:35.340 --> 00:40:35.640 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah.
00:40:35.670 --> 00:40:39.510 Connie Zweig: How do we reimagine that so that it fits who we are now.
00:40:40.830 --> 00:41:05.160 Connie Zweig: What kind of practices, might we do in that context, so if someone you know, like him, feels settled in a traditional organized religion, then you go that way, if someone else is an unaffiliated spiritual seeker or mystic, then you find a different lineage from your childhood.
00:41:05.160 --> 00:41:16.380 Connie Zweig: Tradition now right, and you can find a community, and you can find a teacher and you can find a practice that really fits who you are now and that's important.
00:41:17.010 --> 00:41:24.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah yeah I mean that's sort of I feel what's happened to me because yeah as a young kid I.
00:41:25.380 --> 00:41:42.150 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: didn't feel that connected to Judaism and I didn't feel like there was spirit, when I went to the synagogue and saw people praying and so i've developed sort of a very eclectic view on spirituality and and.
00:41:43.410 --> 00:41:45.840 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: m found sort of my own.
00:41:46.950 --> 00:41:54.660 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: group or and finding sort of my own community of like minded people and and one thing that I found very interesting like you mentioned meditation before.
00:41:55.020 --> 00:42:08.700 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I was just in the business networking group, the other day and and they asked the question for everyone to answer is, what do you do to de stress and then I was in several breakout rooms and like 80% of the people said they made a tape.
00:42:09.210 --> 00:42:09.600 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Yes.
00:42:09.780 --> 00:42:11.940 Connie Zweig: And, and I mean I important.
00:42:12.300 --> 00:42:13.350 Connie Zweig: really important.
00:42:13.860 --> 00:42:25.230 Connie Zweig: And there are many practices in my book that people can pick up for different reasons, whether you want to learn how to relax whether you want to learn how to quiet your mind.
00:42:25.560 --> 00:42:26.790 Connie Zweig: Whether you want to learn.
00:42:26.820 --> 00:42:42.750 Connie Zweig: How to really attain spiritual awakening and non dual reality, there are lots of practices in the book, so the main you know spiritual promise that i'm making to people is the subtitle of the book.
00:42:43.380 --> 00:42:45.690 Connie Zweig: shifting from role to so.
00:42:46.500 --> 00:43:01.440 Connie Zweig: And what does that mean it means that we've lived our lives identified with our roles our family rules in our work roles and like I was saying about myself who am I if i'm not Dr Connie anymore.
00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:04.140 Connie Zweig: And that role falls away.
00:43:04.770 --> 00:43:05.940 Connie Zweig: And so I.
00:43:06.030 --> 00:43:30.270 Connie Zweig: I really included practices to shift our identity from what we do to who we really are to our spiritual nature and whether we call that soul or spirit or divine or higher self I don't care what we call it, but that shift is the opportunity for this stage of life.
00:43:30.690 --> 00:43:40.590 Connie Zweig: And it's what every spiritual tradition all over the world has taught, this is the time late life is the time for contemplative practice.
00:43:40.650 --> 00:43:41.820 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah yeah.
00:43:42.120 --> 00:43:42.630 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So right.
00:43:43.080 --> 00:44:00.630 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Yes, wonderful wonderful, thank you, Dr Connie all right it's time for us to take our last break of the show God, I could kind of a conversation with you for hours again Dr connie's like author of the book the inner work of age when we come back, I just want to talk a little bit more.
00:44:02.190 --> 00:44:11.040 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: about some practical things for our audience what what are some things they can do to help them to deal, you know, besides just meditation to deal with this.
00:44:11.460 --> 00:44:23.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: getting older and and and you know can't what can we do to reverse that old adage that I hear people saying a lot that getting old sucks you know let's kind of shift that around okay.
00:44:25.590 --> 00:44:35.160 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So we will be right back you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, again we do this, live every Thursday 12 noon to 1pm Eastern time.
00:44:35.580 --> 00:44:51.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: On talk radio dot nyc all over Facebook and if you missed any part of today's show you can always catch us on all the podcasting platforms apple Google stitcher spotify Pandora I heart radio were everywhere, so we will be right back after these messages.
00:46:53.580 --> 00:47:02.820 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity we've been speaking with Dr counties like author of the book the inner work of age.
00:47:03.600 --> 00:47:21.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: sanai a loyal listener post a question on the Facebook exactly what I wanted to talk about this section she says beautiful concept to see aging this way because most people don't know who they are, are there ways or outlets to embrace the pending physical and mental changes with age.
00:47:22.470 --> 00:47:26.280 Connie Zweig: You know us and I like to say ages our curriculum.
00:47:27.330 --> 00:47:31.290 Connie Zweig: So all of these challenges that come to us.
00:47:32.970 --> 00:47:54.210 Connie Zweig: can be digested or metabolized for our development i'm not I don't want to minimize their difficulty I don't want to minimize the suffering of illness and loss, but I do want to say that we can actually experience illness as a spiritual practice.
00:47:54.840 --> 00:48:09.090 Connie Zweig: With caregiving as a spiritual practice, and I really I read about that extensively in the book how to do your shadow work as these challenges are coming up.
00:48:10.080 --> 00:48:26.490 Connie Zweig: And how to do your meditation practice so that you have a quiet refuge in your mind every day to sit still in silence, as these difficulties are happening because they will the hits will keep coming.
00:48:26.850 --> 00:48:27.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: mm hmm.
00:48:27.840 --> 00:48:36.780 Connie Zweig: And if we have the tools for me those tools are meditation and shadow work for other people, they may be different modalities.
00:48:37.080 --> 00:48:39.570 Connie Zweig: But if you have these tools.
00:48:40.710 --> 00:48:51.330 Connie Zweig: You can continue to develop to evolve to gain consciousness and to reach new stages of awareness.
00:48:52.020 --> 00:49:00.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah Someone once said, any day above ground is a good day because as long as you're still breathing you can still learn grow and do something.
00:49:02.160 --> 00:49:14.520 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Many years ago, I used to have a friend who was much older than me and she used to say growing old sucks, how do we change that that paradigm, how do we change that perspective because it's such a common one today right.
00:49:15.600 --> 00:49:16.140 Connie Zweig: well.
00:49:17.370 --> 00:49:27.150 Connie Zweig: So part of my work holding the shadow and spirituality has been holding opposites.
00:49:27.480 --> 00:49:32.070 Connie Zweig: hmm there are very difficult issues around aging.
00:49:32.700 --> 00:49:34.560 Connie Zweig: yeah that we've been mentioning.
00:49:35.040 --> 00:49:41.280 Connie Zweig: And they're very expanded opportunities with our expanded longevity.
00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:59.670 Connie Zweig: These are both true so i'm experiencing both my youthfulness and my age my victories, and my defeats my gains and my losses.
00:50:00.840 --> 00:50:10.380 Connie Zweig: And as we you know move into these later years if we can hold the positives and the negatives together.
00:50:11.310 --> 00:50:20.490 Connie Zweig: good thing l chemical starts to happen, because when we split off one or the other, we kind of get lost the other side goes into the shadow, you know.
00:50:20.670 --> 00:50:23.940 Connie Zweig: there's a lot of positive ageing stuff going on now.
00:50:24.180 --> 00:50:26.880 Connie Zweig: Where the shift where the difficulties the sex.
00:50:27.150 --> 00:50:28.140 are lost.
00:50:29.580 --> 00:50:35.310 Connie Zweig: It used to be on negative it used to be okay you're over the hill it's decline and that's all there is.
00:50:35.670 --> 00:50:39.360 Connie Zweig: So now there's this positive ageing movement to compensate for that.
00:50:39.780 --> 00:50:43.140 Connie Zweig: And when i'm trying to say is it's all of the above.
00:50:44.520 --> 00:50:46.200 Connie Zweig: The whole enchilada.
00:50:47.520 --> 00:50:56.880 Connie Zweig: And if we can really explore how to hold the whole truth, like my husband is ill, but we're having a fantastic time together.
00:50:57.210 --> 00:51:01.440 Connie Zweig: um so the whole truth of this stage of life.
00:51:02.460 --> 00:51:07.650 Connie Zweig: Then we can really have a different kind of qualitatively different experience.
00:51:07.920 --> 00:51:08.760 Connie Zweig: of aging.
00:51:10.410 --> 00:51:21.450 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Beautiful beautiful i'm just curious in writing this book and doing the research for this book, what did you learn about yourself that surprised you.
00:51:23.190 --> 00:51:24.900 Connie Zweig: Well, in the.
00:51:26.370 --> 00:51:34.620 Connie Zweig: In the chapter on the inner ages, I tell my story of discovering how I found my own internalized ageism.
00:51:35.100 --> 00:51:42.120 Connie Zweig: And it was really shocking to me because I was in Berkeley in the 60s and 70s, fighting all the.
00:51:42.120 --> 00:51:42.960 isms.
00:51:44.550 --> 00:51:45.150 Connie Zweig: Right.
00:51:45.330 --> 00:51:45.480 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and
00:51:45.630 --> 00:51:49.830 Connie Zweig: I discovered to discover that I had really internalized ageism.
00:51:50.130 --> 00:51:51.240 Connie Zweig: And why.
00:51:51.630 --> 00:51:56.250 Connie Zweig: And to really look at the childhood messages that were given to me.
00:51:56.730 --> 00:51:58.470 Connie Zweig: And then the later messages.
00:51:58.470 --> 00:52:07.740 Connie Zweig: Throughout my life span and then to learn how that was affecting me I have 72 years of life experience now.
00:52:08.460 --> 00:52:10.560 Connie Zweig: So I had.
00:52:10.590 --> 00:52:21.060 Connie Zweig: If my inner ages were really criticizing my appearance, or something else that was happening or.
00:52:22.500 --> 00:52:37.560 Connie Zweig: You know, leaving me feeling powerless or victimized I could never have written this book and be teaching the amount of Okay, I am really busy now really enjoying it and.
00:52:37.740 --> 00:52:43.770 Connie Zweig: I hadn't worked with that in our ages, I would not be feeling the fulfillment that i'm.
00:52:43.770 --> 00:52:45.210 experiencing.
00:52:47.010 --> 00:52:56.070 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So we just got a couple of minutes before we have to wrap up the show um What would you what kind of advice would you give our listeners.
00:52:56.580 --> 00:53:09.660 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Who are having some challenges, because they are getting older and and that resistance to just the concept of of getting older and being older is is is welling up inside of them.
00:53:10.380 --> 00:53:10.980 yeah.
00:53:12.030 --> 00:53:22.500 Connie Zweig: Well i'm from my point of view, there are many, many things you can do to feel differently about the reality of aging.
00:53:23.520 --> 00:53:32.670 Connie Zweig: So meditation is a refuge to quiet your mind, because a lot of the negative emotions come from the noisy thoughts.
00:53:33.390 --> 00:53:34.680 Connie Zweig: And so that's important.
00:53:35.220 --> 00:53:37.320 Connie Zweig: You can do a life review.
00:53:38.130 --> 00:53:44.400 Connie Zweig: And you can look at what is left that only you can contribute.
00:53:45.270 --> 00:53:53.820 Connie Zweig: um So if you have some calling to contribute to the common good, what is it that only you can give.
00:53:55.380 --> 00:53:57.990 Connie Zweig: What cause, are you passionate about.
00:53:58.710 --> 00:54:00.180 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Climate change
00:54:00.480 --> 00:54:08.910 Connie Zweig: gang violence, racism, choose a cause and find a Community that's working in that area.
00:54:10.830 --> 00:54:16.620 Connie Zweig: Work with your own inner ages, so that you begin to feel a deep self acceptance.
00:54:17.880 --> 00:54:20.850 Connie Zweig: And also, I would say, Sam ask yourself.
00:54:22.740 --> 00:54:30.960 Connie Zweig: If you were on your deathbed now what would you regret not having said or done.
00:54:31.890 --> 00:54:32.520 hmm.
00:54:33.600 --> 00:54:35.820 Connie Zweig: And how can you complete that now.
00:54:38.940 --> 00:54:40.050 Connie Zweig: These are all.
00:54:40.140 --> 00:54:41.250 Connie Zweig: ways that you.
00:54:41.250 --> 00:54:45.600 Connie Zweig: can live more deeply in peace and die in peace.
00:54:47.250 --> 00:54:51.600 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Beautiful beautiful, we have to wrap it up, I just got to ask you one last question.
00:54:52.800 --> 00:54:56.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: who's an elder that that you look to as a role model.
00:54:58.650 --> 00:55:00.510 Connie Zweig: Actually, there are many now.
00:55:00.900 --> 00:55:03.630 Connie Zweig: But let me acknowledge rhonda us.
00:55:05.370 --> 00:55:09.570 Connie Zweig: Because I borrowed the phrase role too so from rhonda us.
00:55:09.750 --> 00:55:16.830 Connie Zweig: And i'm very grateful to him for a lifetime of being a scout for my generation.
00:55:17.310 --> 00:55:30.570 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah beautiful beautiful again Dr Kenny swig author of the book the inner work of age, Dr Connie if people want to learn more about your work, learn more about you, how would they find you how would they get in touch with you.
00:55:30.810 --> 00:55:35.460 Connie Zweig: have my workshops are listed on connie's why calm.
00:55:35.610 --> 00:55:37.350 Connie Zweig: Z w ei T.
00:55:38.490 --> 00:55:43.200 Connie Zweig: Dr connie's wide on Facebook, also on linkedin.
00:55:44.400 --> 00:55:52.530 Connie Zweig: And people who are reading the book are now forming wisdom circles to read together and aging community.
00:55:53.340 --> 00:55:59.040 Connie Zweig: And because there's so many practices in the book they're doing the practices together and small circles.
00:55:59.610 --> 00:56:14.010 Connie Zweig: seven or eight people if you're interested in a wisdom circle, you can shoot me an email connie's walk at gmail COM put wisdom circle in the subject line and i'll connect you with other people who are reading the book.
00:56:14.280 --> 00:56:18.600 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Wonderful wonderful well Dr Connie Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day.
00:56:19.650 --> 00:56:29.010 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Today i've got so many people, I have to share this book with and people I think we'll get a lot out of it, I really appreciate you doing the work and.
00:56:29.730 --> 00:56:40.650 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and doing, making the effort to to bring this work to light, and thank you, my loyal listeners for tuning in today and being so supportive that's what we do this for why we do it.
00:56:41.250 --> 00:56:55.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Please remember the other wonderful shows on talk radio dot nyc tonight at 5pm frank about health, tomorrow, we have our whole lineup of business shows Monday evenings Reverend Sandra bar JASMINE with their show the edge of every day.
00:56:56.790 --> 00:57:03.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: In our series of Tuesday shows the shows on Wednesday so just go to talk radio dot nyc take a look at our schedule.
00:57:03.600 --> 00:57:14.550 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Thank you for tuning in and remember if you've gotten something out of this interview this episode, please share it with your friends and family and colleagues Thank you all take care, we will talk to you next week.
00:57:14.910 --> 00:57:17.070 Connie Zweig: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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