Rabbi Shalom Hammer is a lecturer for the Israel Defense Forces/TZAHAL and an educator in the Netiv conversion course of the IDF. He is a certified instructor for MHFA (Mental Health First Aid) as well as a presenter and advocate for mental health awareness and suicide prevention.
He is also the founder and director of Makom Meshutaf, an organization which offers non-denominational and non-coercive educational programming throughout Israel’s Pre Military Academies and Kibbutzim emphasizing open dialogue, empathy and breaking stigmas in mental health.
He has authored five books, and serves as a lecturer for communities worldwide.
Tune in for this important conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.
Albert Dabah introduces his guest tonight, Rabbi Shalom Hammer, who lives in Israel. Albert asks Shalom about his journey to Israel and becoming a Rabbi. Shalom grew up in a suburban neighborhood in New York in an orthodox community. His family always preached love of Israel and of the Jewish people. Not long after finishing school, Shalom went to Israel to study in a Yeshiva for two years. Shalom enjoyed communicating and socializing and helping other students which was something that made him want to continue to be in this environment and become a Rabbi. Shalom believes that today’s Israeli educators in America have blocked themselves to only working within English speaking programs. He encourages educators who move to Israel to also work within Israeli communities that aren’t English-speaking. Albert also speaks with Shalom about how he works with the Israeli army with their educational branch. He speaks on the goal of helping those in the army and educating them on what they represent, what they are a part of and the ideology of protecting the state of Israel.
Albert and Shalom talk about Shalom’s work as a certified instructor and mental health advocate. Shalom shares with us that about two years ago, his daughter who was eighteen at the time, died of suicide. Shalom has always been an activist of mental health and believes that he still has an opportunity to help and change the world. He says that Israel with regards to mental health is way behind compared to the Western world in terms of health facilities and other kinds of guidance. Shalom says that he was introduced to Mental Health First Aid by a friend and that their goals are similar to first aid responders who help those in crisis. For the MHFA, what they do is help those suffering from a mental illness or other mental health situations and help those in need to hopefully stay grounded and shed a bit of light or hope for them. Shalom is proud to be part of this group of individuals who bring the conversations to their community about mental health to break it’s stigmas and educate others to understand that they can get care and the help that they need. Shalom also has a series of lectures that he teaches; these lectures are named Gila’s way, in memory of his daughter. He tells her story about what happened, what are the warning signs and how to help people before it’s too late. Another one of his lectures teaches about what you say or do when assisting someone who is mourning in a situation like this.
Albert asks Shalom about his thoughts on Israel being behind when it comes to mental health awareness. He believes that part of the problem is that it has been common for there to be stigma with various things like illnesses such as cancer for example where it was once very taboo. Families in the community wouldn't say cancer but would rather call it “illness”. This taboo has changed though as there are more advancements with how to deal with it. But for mental health Shalom says, it is almost 20-30 years behind. Certain topics like no marital problems, achievements in education and more continue to be stigmas, he says. But he says the more we discuss openly, the more the stigmas can be broken; though it is a work in progress. The work in progress also includes financial help in the community and better ways to know who can be qualified to be therapists and psychiatrists. Albert also speaks about how he relates a lot to what Shalom talks about as well as what he had gone through with his family. Albert mentions his connection to his late brother and baseball, what it means to him and how he took his film to screen at synagogues and festivals in various cities.
Coming back from the final break, Albert briefly talks about the connection of mental health stigma and his film Extra Innings. He talks about his older sister who became more orthodox as she got older and had her own family. Albert had sent the script of his film to his sister, though he had a feeling that she wouldn’t be happy about it. They met afterwards and his sister was concerned that if anyone knew that the film, which deals with Albert’s actual life and his family, that her grandchildren wouldn’t be able to marry. Albert was shocked as she asked if his own children knew about their other siblings who unfortunately passed away from suicide. Although he understood where she was coming from, he then knew at that moment that there was still a stigma within his own family. Shalom adds that mental illness is like a physical illness. It shows up in different ways and symptoms. Shalom gives an example of a friend who suffers from depression. Someone else comes to this friend and says why don't they just be happy and they can just get rid of it. Telling this to someone as Shalom says is like telling someone who has a migraine to just take two aspirins and they will be okay. He says that we have to be more empathetic and sensitive in order to understand better what someone is really going through. You can visit Rabbihammer.com to learn more about Shalom Hammer, what he does, as well as get in contact with Shalom. He travels internationally, overseas and more to talk about mental health awareness, going into various questions and topics in between. Before ending tonight’s show, Albert thanks Shalom for joining him. Alberts announces that this will be his final podcast for a while as he will take a hiatus. Albert thanks his listeners and all of his guests for joining him on Extra Innings. You can also watch the film Extra Innings on various platforms like Google Play, Peacock, Apple TV and more!
00:00:31.560 --> 00:00:32.250 Albert Dabah: hi.
00:00:33.420 --> 00:00:41.610 Albert Dabah: Welcome to extra innings covering all the bases, my name is Albert dabba and I am the host of this show.
00:00:43.260 --> 00:00:56.190 Albert Dabah: I have been hosting extra innings covering all the bases for the past 10 months and a good majority of the show deals with mental health with the.
00:00:57.150 --> 00:01:19.260 Albert Dabah: Basically, the stigmas of mental health and what people go through and it's very varied, of course, and but there's many challenges that people face in dealing with their emotions and their lives and challenges and many of these challenges are kind of not talked about.
00:01:21.150 --> 00:01:26.430 Albert Dabah: I think many people feel they're socially not ready to talk about.
00:01:27.600 --> 00:01:34.950 Albert Dabah: But on this show I welcome to have guests that are open to talk about their own specific.
00:01:36.180 --> 00:01:37.680 Albert Dabah: issues and.
00:01:39.150 --> 00:01:43.530 Albert Dabah: Different challenges that have come up in their lives, and within their families.
00:01:46.530 --> 00:02:04.740 Albert Dabah: I the name extra innings actually comes from a film that I made then I have written produced and directed and it comes from the baseball term extra innings which for me means it's like going into overtime, but really what it means for me that there is hope and.
00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:20.220 Albert Dabah: And it's a story about a very personal story of my life growing up from brooklyn about my family and the challenges that my family went through and it deals with a great deal of and it's a very touching story.
00:02:21.510 --> 00:02:23.370 Albert Dabah: For now i'd like to.
00:02:24.990 --> 00:02:33.660 Albert Dabah: just say one thing, before I introduce my guests we've had many different guests from all different kinds of occupations from many different parts of the world.
00:02:35.460 --> 00:02:46.740 Albert Dabah: And I have learned so much from having these guests on the show that I always feel when I finished the show, I have this sense of wow.
00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:58.320 Albert Dabah: That was that was that was a nice a good person to meet in and in the conversation always deals with something that hits me.
00:02:59.430 --> 00:03:22.380 Albert Dabah: tonight's guest is shallow rabbi shallow hammer who lives in Israel so Shalom we met actually i'll just say this, I heard Shalom on the podcast a while back and I loved what I heard what he had to say, a lot of it was talking about the stigma of mental illness and his home.
00:03:24.570 --> 00:03:28.230 Albert Dabah: issues with it within his own family and.
00:03:29.460 --> 00:03:37.620 Albert Dabah: First of all, Shalom how are you doing you're in Israel you're heading in our time so it's evening there, how are you doing today and this evening.
00:03:38.640 --> 00:03:42.750 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: How you doing with regards to our predicament, is a very big question.
00:03:44.250 --> 00:03:49.050 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Usually use it a people use it as a means of introduction, but.
00:03:49.950 --> 00:03:59.940 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: When you deal with as you i'm sure you'll explain this the things that we deal with and have to deal with consistently how you doing is a loaded question like loaded basis in extra innings.
00:04:00.870 --> 00:04:13.920 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: But i'm doing okay i'm pretty exhausted, but exhaustion i'm not sure if it makes a difference if it's morning afternoon or evening and it's kind of wants me consistently but but i'm with you and thank you for having me.
00:04:14.250 --> 00:04:15.150 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Great great.
00:04:16.110 --> 00:04:29.400 Albert Dabah: Thanks for accepting to be on the show, so what what made you become a rabbi and you are not originally from Israel, what when did Where are you from and when did you why did you move to Israel.
00:04:30.870 --> 00:04:40.380 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Well that's an excellent question, because every Jewish boy should be asked what made you become a rabbi I mean that's it's not, as we all know, the famous.
00:04:41.010 --> 00:04:52.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: The famous quote you know saying it's not a good job for a nice Jewish boy I remember you mentioned brooklyn I remember going to visit the daunting task of visiting my grandmother.
00:04:52.800 --> 00:05:00.690 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: My Polish grandmother may she rest in peace and she was all been five feet tall but her personality was monotonous monotonous.
00:05:01.020 --> 00:05:09.300 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And I remember when I returned from Israel studying I went to her door and to see her for the first time in about a year, a year and a half.
00:05:09.660 --> 00:05:21.390 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And she said, new show them, what do you want to do with your life, and I said well grandma decided i'm probably going to pursue the rabbit to which she responded, I see that you still don't know what you're doing with your life.
00:05:23.490 --> 00:05:31.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: So it is, it is a very legitimate question I grew up in a place called months you New York in our day back in the heyday.
00:05:32.490 --> 00:05:43.290 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I don't know 3040 years ago muncie was a wonderful wonderful suburban Community out in the boondocks and the sticks, they were apple orchards and.
00:05:43.650 --> 00:05:58.200 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: A vast amount of land in between houses and a very lovely Orthodox community and it wasn't as bustling as it is today, and it certainly wasn't as acidic as it is today, I was kind of like a modern orthodox mainstay.
00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:10.200 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And it grew in in droves, as the years went on, but we grew up in a modern orthodox home that always preached love of Israel love of the Jewish people.
00:06:10.530 --> 00:06:17.910 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: and love of Zionism and that was the kind of day school that I was sent to so it was only natural for me.
00:06:18.270 --> 00:06:29.280 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And for my siblings and our friends and our colleagues to pursue Israel after you know, the first opportunity that we had so be it post high school.
00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:39.840 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: gap year programs which weren't as popular back then, but certainly many, many went to them, and it was only a natural move for us, for us to do so.
00:06:40.170 --> 00:06:47.970 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And Sure enough, I went to Israel to study for two years, and he is Shiva and a Jewish institution in a place called the afternoon and.
00:06:48.570 --> 00:07:00.630 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I very much enjoyed the study, but I think more than the studying, I very much enjoyed the interaction of what was going on between myself and the other students I enjoyed communicating I enjoyed disputing.
00:07:01.050 --> 00:07:04.830 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Which is one of my mainstays to this day and I enjoyed.
00:07:05.310 --> 00:07:21.090 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: socializing and also helping people by young the younger students people like questions just trying to assist them as much as possible when I think that that's what kind of lend itself lends itself to my pursuing a career within the rabbit and education.
00:07:22.080 --> 00:07:22.410 Nice.
00:07:23.520 --> 00:07:25.500 Albert Dabah: Have you been here now in Israel.
00:07:26.100 --> 00:07:37.350 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Well we've been here for 31 years we made our yeah right after I got married to my lovely phenomenal wife gabby her name's on the zoom over there.
00:07:38.130 --> 00:07:49.050 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: We got married and we came to Israel immediately we you know no holds barred we didn't look back, we felt that the only way to do it properly, certainly at that time.
00:07:49.860 --> 00:08:01.140 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And we threw ourselves in for head, first, I came I studied in yeshiva again when I was in Israel, for the first year or so, and then I went off and started on education.
00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:09.960 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I always tell Americans it really bothers me because many American Masonic and American educators who come to move here in Israel.
00:08:10.230 --> 00:08:24.420 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I think that their places within Israeli society, and I see so many of them who pursue the rabbit and and limit themselves to educating here in Israel only within English speaking programs, and I think it's a mistake.
00:08:24.900 --> 00:08:36.450 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: The Culture grab and the culture divide is is no longer as prevalent as it used to be the world is smaller, the challenges are the same worldwide with regards to our youth.
00:08:36.810 --> 00:08:46.620 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And many Israeli youth can use these American educators they're open minded this their creativity it's something that many Israeli educators, do not have.
00:08:46.950 --> 00:09:01.650 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And I encourage is really rabbis who come and make on the on and move to Israel to go into the throes of Israeli society as opposed to closing themselves in the four l's of education within only English speaking throes of the society year.
00:09:02.310 --> 00:09:12.060 Albert Dabah: I see I see just on a personal note i've only been to Israel twice, ironically, for my bar mitzvah and then for my son's bar mitzvah.
00:09:13.560 --> 00:09:20.160 Albert Dabah: But I have a real affinity to Israel, I went to a you Shiva Shiva flatbush brooklyn for 12 years.
00:09:21.750 --> 00:09:29.430 Albert Dabah: we're very Zionists school, so this Israel has a very special place in my heart and my girlfriend now.
00:09:32.010 --> 00:09:49.410 Albert Dabah: her daughter just she moved Israel, three years ago, made early on, she lives and works there and just got married there and I couldn't go to a wedding because of the coven she came back here and had a party for her friends in New York and New Jersey and.
00:09:50.490 --> 00:09:57.750 Albert Dabah: we're talking about maybe going to spend a month there, maybe during Passover so i'm looking forward to going back again.
00:09:58.950 --> 00:10:00.540 Albert Dabah: boys welcome yeah.
00:10:01.110 --> 00:10:16.890 Albert Dabah: And my family is from Israel, they grew up in Syria, but moved to Israel when my father was five and live the new show I am and you mentioned the other day, as we were talking that you pass a What was it a.
00:10:17.430 --> 00:10:19.890 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Was it was a building it was a synagogue actually.
00:10:20.250 --> 00:10:20.460 yeah.
00:10:21.480 --> 00:10:37.080 Albert Dabah: And it was in the name of Albert and Selma dabba who is an uncle my father's brother is Albert and my father also after my sister passed away donated some money to.
00:10:38.070 --> 00:10:47.160 Albert Dabah: I think it's called girls town it's a place for young girls who didn't have families and they help them out and.
00:10:47.970 --> 00:10:52.470 Albert Dabah: When I had my bar mitzvah my sons were Mr I should say at that we had at the wall.
00:10:52.950 --> 00:11:01.170 Albert Dabah: We didn't know anyone, but the principle of that girls town came and it was just so sweet and then he told us to come to the school, we went there.
00:11:01.650 --> 00:11:12.180 Albert Dabah: And they end to end on a wall outside of the one of the classrooms was all these pictures of my sister, and I was so touched to see that here in Israel.
00:11:12.780 --> 00:11:18.780 Albert Dabah: and walk into the classroom and he introduced us, the head of the issue to.
00:11:19.500 --> 00:11:28.560 Albert Dabah: All the girls, and it was it was they all stood up and said hello, and I was just me and my family were touched, you know it was like.
00:11:29.190 --> 00:11:35.610 Albert Dabah: And it actually brought me back to grade school because I remember, we had a rabbi braverman, who was the head of the issuer flap which.
00:11:36.120 --> 00:11:53.160 Albert Dabah: I believe started the school, he was a very tough guy but he was also very sweet guy and when he would walk into the classroom we all had to stand up, but I remember once he said here, come here sit on my lap you know I know you talk a lot in school, so you need to stop talking so much.
00:11:55.350 --> 00:12:10.230 Albert Dabah: Is a sweet guy so I wanted to um there's there's a lot of things that you have told me and written to me about what you do and the lectures you do you work with if I can summarize this correctly.
00:12:11.310 --> 00:12:15.030 Albert Dabah: With the IDF and the Israeli army.
00:12:16.470 --> 00:12:26.490 Albert Dabah: On different kinds of subjects I believe one is about talking about the stigma of mental illness mental health and how people deal with it.
00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:42.960 Albert Dabah: And, as well as these, I think you talked about i'm not sure if this is the nazif I believe it's called and was that about learning differences that people have within each other and how to bridge the gap in terms of.
00:12:44.550 --> 00:12:46.170 Albert Dabah: stuff like that is that correct.
00:12:46.770 --> 00:12:54.060 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Well, the the so just with regards to my work in the army, the army these really army has an educational branch.
00:12:54.480 --> 00:13:05.820 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And it has also what we call the Jewish identity branch within the Israeli Robin it, so I and the importance or the significance of it is that if you have a soldier essentially.
00:13:06.150 --> 00:13:15.270 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Who was in precarious positions dangerous positions and and they don't and not only are they defending the country but they don't really understand why.
00:13:15.660 --> 00:13:29.370 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Then, that can compromise even their physical well being and their physical self safety so it's very important for them to comprehend and to embrace their mission to understand who they are, what they represent.
00:13:29.910 --> 00:13:40.680 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: What they're a part of in the largest Jewish nation Israeli nation for those who are not Jewish and the Israeli army and they're part of an ideology of protecting the State of Israel.
00:13:41.550 --> 00:13:56.070 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And for that reason we infuse them with lectures about Zionism and about unity and ideology and Judaism and nationalism within the native course specifically where I educate as well.
00:13:57.450 --> 00:14:05.880 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I come as a lecturer frequently, but then of course deals specifically with conversions so for soldiers who make aliyah.
00:14:06.570 --> 00:14:23.700 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: who call themselves and their correct Jewish according to State law, but according to Jewish observant or religious law in orthodoxy, which is still the rabbinic that is maintain of the laws are maintained in Israel, according to the Orthodox rabbinic.
00:14:24.570 --> 00:14:29.640 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: there and they they have to still go through a course in order to be considered.
00:14:30.270 --> 00:14:37.380 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Jewish in terms of their level in terms of observance and in terms of what's Hello quickly, whereby Jewish law accepted.
00:14:37.590 --> 00:14:53.790 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And so that's really the teeth comes in, we offer them an opportunity to learn more about holographic Judaism, to discuss things and, by the way, I want to be very clear native is not only about how how Jewish law it's largely about Jewish identity, history.
00:14:54.180 --> 00:15:13.290 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Culture discussions open conversation and dialogue, the ability to agree to not to agree that they don't have to that to agree that they could disagree and that's a large part of it as well, so it's an honor for me to be part of those incentives and part of those efforts.
00:15:13.710 --> 00:15:25.950 Albert Dabah: Well that's that seems extremely important what you just said, for them to feel the kind of identity of what Israel is about and what what what they're what they're about and how to.
00:15:26.910 --> 00:15:38.610 Albert Dabah: You know, let them know that specifically and we're gonna have to take a break, we have a few breaks during the show and we'll come right back with Shalom and continue our conversation thanks so much.
00:15:39.930 --> 00:15:40.290 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Thank you.
00:17:52.500 --> 00:18:06.150 Albert Dabah: shallow on one of the things you also wrote to me was that you're a certified instructor on, and it was a mental health advocate and presenter of many lectures on the Suicide Prevention and mental health awareness.
00:18:08.040 --> 00:18:08.970 Albert Dabah: Tell me about that.
00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:22.290 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Well, you know what happened was it's in two weeks, it will be, it will have been two years since our daughter gila at the young age of 18 died from suicide.
00:18:23.370 --> 00:18:27.000 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And i've always been an activist i've always.
00:18:28.140 --> 00:18:39.570 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know, for better for worse, by the way, i've always taken the approach of trying to throw myself into the throes of society and still consider myself young enough to be able to change the world.
00:18:40.020 --> 00:18:53.580 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And I couldn't I still can't make sense of how this could possibly happen, in fact, a few moments ago, I was praying afternoon services and during that time I was thinking to myself really God, I mean.
00:18:54.270 --> 00:19:00.420 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know what's up with this, I mean, why did you allow this to happen and that's a question that.
00:19:00.810 --> 00:19:19.950 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I have to come to terms with that I will consistently have to deal with that question, and will probably never have an answer at any point, at least in this world, so when that happens, I would say about three days after I completed our Jewish mourning period of seven days of Shiva.
00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:39.390 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I decided that I would try to channel my negative energy my depression my frustration my desperation my anxiety into a positive way, as much as possible, and I would actively advocate for awareness.
00:19:39.780 --> 00:19:53.400 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Israel with regards to mental health is way way way behind in the western world almost at or I would even say at the level of a third world country.
00:19:53.700 --> 00:20:05.190 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: With regards to mental health facilities with regards to its psychiatric care and it's like can we add psychiatric facilities and institutions it's a serious serious problem.
00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:12.990 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: and never goes a day without my getting questions from people asking for guidance what to do, frustrations.
00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:21.210 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: That are actually not only exist exasperating but absolutely astounding in terms of the things that people write to me and so.
00:20:21.660 --> 00:20:28.110 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: As part of those efforts I started to ask myself what can be done and and people also started to approach me.
00:20:28.470 --> 00:20:43.500 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: and say what can we do, how can we improve this situation because, thank God, there are a lot of people who are ideological and idealists and realize that there are problems here and they very much want to see them corrected or at least improved and so.
00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:48.930 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: One of the things a friend of mine named Stuart cats is tremendous person.
00:20:49.860 --> 00:20:57.840 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: highly intelligent very motivated and very impressive he got me involved in something called mental health first aid.
00:20:58.260 --> 00:21:12.030 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And he said that Israel, there are 28 countries that originated in Australia it's a course that just like you have first aid as a first responder to someone to resuscitate that person, God forbid, should have presents itself.
00:21:12.450 --> 00:21:17.730 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: and to bring them or ground them and bring them back to a position where they can get and seek proper care.
00:21:18.300 --> 00:21:33.510 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: The same thing is with regards to move someone who suffers from a mental health illness or in crisis at a particular moment they themselves also at any moment could feel like this is it a moment of despair, a moment of.
00:21:34.320 --> 00:21:47.430 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know no hope and and just frustration, to the extent that it could threaten their lives and so mental health first aid says, our response has to be it's not therapeutic.
00:21:47.820 --> 00:22:01.380 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And we're not serving as therapists and we're certainly not diagnose diack diagnosticians, but rather we are first responders and we can help that person realize that hey.
00:22:02.040 --> 00:22:16.020 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: let's get Ahold of ourselves i'm here for you and let's think about other alternative things, because in the end of the day, this is something I always remind people, the majority of people, for example, God forbid die from suicide.
00:22:16.440 --> 00:22:29.340 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: It is known that the majority of them do not want to die, they want to live the human resource and the human instinct to live is extremely prevalent and strong.
00:22:29.850 --> 00:22:34.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And so, if we can just give them a glimmer or glimpse of hope.
00:22:34.830 --> 00:22:48.780 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Then, or some kind of shining light, then that can be the difference between life and death and that's really what mental health first aid does it trains people to certify to be able to be first responders to someone who might be in crisis.
00:22:49.260 --> 00:22:54.870 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And Stewart said we got to make Israel, the 29th country that brings this course in and he did it.
00:22:55.380 --> 00:23:07.740 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And we trained 12 people who are certified instructors myself i'm one of them, and we are the only people who are certified to give over this course officially with license here in Israel.
00:23:08.070 --> 00:23:20.130 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: and thank God myself my wonderful partner, a wonderful woman a rookie bromberg we've been able to so far we're going into our third course here in Israel, over the past few months, so.
00:23:20.820 --> 00:23:27.390 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: The more that we get over this course, the more that we break stigmas The more that people conversing engage in dialogue.
00:23:27.600 --> 00:23:36.390 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And the more that people converse and engage in dialogue and discuss the more, not only are we able to arrive, perhaps a cures but we're able to.
00:23:36.990 --> 00:23:44.700 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: break those stigmas and alleviate the fears and allow people to understand that they can get care.
00:23:45.090 --> 00:23:58.380 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: So those are that's one of the efforts that i'm very much involved with In addition, I have a series of lectures that I call galas way they're named after gila there to commemorate her memory, but.
00:23:59.130 --> 00:24:08.580 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I give them over there are a series of them one of them is called dealers way mental health awareness and Suicide Prevention and which I tell gila story.
00:24:08.910 --> 00:24:16.320 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: But I accentuate the highlights of what happened and what are some of the warning signs that we should.
00:24:16.590 --> 00:24:27.480 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: understand and appreciate, to ensure that if we're ever or ever faced or confront these kinds of challenges or someone else does that we can help ensure that it never happens again.
00:24:28.470 --> 00:24:32.880 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: that's one lecture the second lecture is called truths my daughter taught me.
00:24:33.240 --> 00:24:44.610 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Which is really geared for understanding empathy being empathetic to our surroundings asking a person who's next to us if they don't look so well what's doing, how can I help you.
00:24:44.850 --> 00:24:54.750 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And the idea of what we say in the tour on the Bible been Adama have an old man to man, our sensitivity to mankind, especially at this time of corona.
00:24:55.020 --> 00:25:06.360 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: The isolation, the feelings of being alone have to be conquered and have to be addressed and we who to to address them better than the healthy people are people who are aware of it.
00:25:06.840 --> 00:25:11.970 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And their surroundings to assist those who are suffering so that's the second lecture and finally.
00:25:12.660 --> 00:25:25.800 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: there's a third as part of the series called there are no words which deals with people bereaved families, how do you approach, a family, more specifically, someone who has tragically lost a child.
00:25:27.060 --> 00:25:38.190 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And the way I arrived at this lecture was because I saw that when I was sitting Shiva and morning how many people, including professionals rabbis.
00:25:39.090 --> 00:25:51.240 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know advisors communal officials really did not know the answer to that question, what do you say to a person who's sitting in front of you, and whose world is completely.
00:25:51.630 --> 00:26:00.960 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: At a state of despair broken obliterated with almost to the feeling of no hope for the future, what are you saying what do you not say.
00:26:01.320 --> 00:26:07.770 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: What are you doing what you not do so, these are some of the seminars that they offer as well and they're all in memory of gila.
00:26:08.190 --> 00:26:15.360 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And I started also going overseas and offering these lectures and I realized that so many people are out there.
00:26:15.630 --> 00:26:23.010 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: That not only need but very much want to relate and understand that appreciate and even people who are not suffering.
00:26:23.280 --> 00:26:32.730 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: From a mental illness and even people who think God, you know, are not dealing with the loss and when people say to me rabbi hammer I can't imagine what you're going through.
00:26:32.970 --> 00:26:37.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I say to them you're right and I pray to God that you never should have to.
00:26:37.770 --> 00:26:48.030 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: But those people also want to sensitize themselves, they want to understand how to approach and what they can do to make a difference in this world.
00:26:48.270 --> 00:27:04.950 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Because this world is very complex and this world can be a very lonely place and a very broken place many times, and when we help others I know this sounds cliche, but it also helps ourselves and that's what makes it different so Those are some of the efforts that i'm involved in.
00:27:06.390 --> 00:27:12.360 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: i'm also involved with a Knesset a Member of the Parliament here in Israel, because, while the girls.
00:27:12.780 --> 00:27:18.450 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: a wonderful woman who's trying to make implement laws and change laws in the country that will help there.
00:27:18.750 --> 00:27:38.790 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Be more awareness as well, some involved in some of those efforts, and you know i'll go wherever someone calls me and i'll be involved in whatever it might be that is altruistic and that assists and helps people live helps people appreciate their lives and saves lives as well.
00:27:40.680 --> 00:27:46.230 Albert Dabah: wow I mean that that hit me in a lot of different ways and i'd love to respond to that.
00:27:47.190 --> 00:27:56.550 Albert Dabah: In a minute, we have a commercial coming up, but before that I just want to say that I think what you're doing is so so helpful and I can't.
00:27:57.330 --> 00:28:08.520 Albert Dabah: tell you how much i've been reading lately from different guests that i've had on the show who have written books and sending me books on the subjects of what you're talking about about.
00:28:09.570 --> 00:28:21.210 Albert Dabah: How to go through some of these tragedies, how to heal through some natural ways of just you know how to heal when even when losing your apparent through some illness.
00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:34.530 Albert Dabah: What to say when you go to the Shivers house, but particularly what you're talking about is you know if you lose someone to suicide, and you know what what kind of words you say and how do you.
00:28:35.610 --> 00:28:42.630 Albert Dabah: You know even even even for the one who's lost it, how do you respond, you know to someone how you talk about it.
00:28:43.140 --> 00:28:55.380 Albert Dabah: And I love to you know talk more about that, right after the break and tell you a little bit of my own story of you know what it was like for me losing my my brother and sister so we'll be right back thanks, thank you.
00:31:31.980 --> 00:31:43.800 Albert Dabah: hi we're back at extra innings covering all the bases talking with rabbi sholom hammer who lives in Israel, and so we left off talking about.
00:31:45.330 --> 00:31:48.300 Albert Dabah: The courses that you teach that have to do.
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:54.210 Albert Dabah: With dealing with people who go through these challenges of.
00:31:55.650 --> 00:32:11.910 Albert Dabah: Whether many stigmas attached to them and how to defuse the stigmas and you were telling me which I was surprised to hear that Israel is very behind in that way of dealing with this my when you said that my first question to me is.
00:32:13.110 --> 00:32:20.280 Albert Dabah: You know I I see Israel in some ways, maybe in an idealistic way, as you know, very liberal.
00:32:21.150 --> 00:32:29.340 Albert Dabah: Liberals, the right word, but a very modern country and maybe that's because in technology they're very up to speed on so many things and.
00:32:29.910 --> 00:32:39.030 Albert Dabah: I met many Israelis and they they seem pretty sharp and understanding, but you know the mental health part of it is what, why do you think in Israel it's.
00:32:40.590 --> 00:32:44.790 Albert Dabah: it's not dealing with these statements are.
00:32:46.740 --> 00:32:51.300 Albert Dabah: Not being dealt with like the way you know it could be.
00:32:53.250 --> 00:32:53.610 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I mean.
00:32:55.380 --> 00:33:07.980 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I would say that your guess is as good as mine but that's inaccurate um I I really you know, Israel is very advanced in terms of technology and high tech and.
00:33:08.550 --> 00:33:17.490 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know, computer science and and so on and so forth, but when it comes to mental health, I think, part of the problem is, is that, within the Jewish world.
00:33:19.110 --> 00:33:28.080 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: There are many pockets of religious communities here in Israel and even within the Jewish world at large, in other words i'm including also the secular Israeli world.
00:33:28.560 --> 00:33:38.580 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: The stigma was just very, very strong I mean you know you go back 2030 years to your parents your grandparents and they very rarely.
00:33:39.090 --> 00:33:50.460 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: use the word cancer, you know they would call it the sickness or the illness or they tap on the table, it was considered a taboo now, no one today would have any problem.
00:33:51.210 --> 00:33:55.710 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know, we don't want to speak about it because it's upsetting that people are ill, but.
00:33:56.460 --> 00:34:05.760 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: No one has a problem, speaking about cancer it's a reality that unfortunately exists amongst us and it's an illness that people have and so.
00:34:06.450 --> 00:34:17.010 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Slowly but surely the stigma regarding cancer was broken people disgusted openly, there were efforts that were done openly.
00:34:17.700 --> 00:34:28.920 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Various initiatives that we're taking it as a result of that, I believe there are more cures for cancer today, or at least advancements with regards to how to deal with it the same thing is with regards to mental health.
00:34:29.250 --> 00:34:50.550 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: But again, the mental health Stigma is about 20 or 30 or lacks about 20 or 30 years behind so again it's going to take a while for that stigma to be broken, particularly in a Jewish society that dictated or that classically dictates perfection academic achievement advancement.
00:34:51.810 --> 00:35:07.440 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Lack of divorce, no marital problems these stigmas were very, very much alive and well, and continue to resonate within the Jewish community Israel is predominantly a Jewish community, yes, there are other.
00:35:09.150 --> 00:35:20.730 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: People nationalities living in this country Arabs and Ruse and so on and so forth, but even within their society, there are very similar stigmas that exist as well.
00:35:21.360 --> 00:35:29.490 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: similar to the Jewish world and so it's it's a it's a you know it's just a process it, you know it's a it's it's a.
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:46.890 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: work in progress and it's going to take time for those stigmas to die down the more that we discuss openly The more I believe those stigmas will be broken, but I believe that that's largely why Israel is so behind them, therefore, there was this like fear.
00:35:48.360 --> 00:35:51.330 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: whereby people were very.
00:35:52.350 --> 00:36:09.750 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: antsy when it came to addressing mental health or dealing with mental health or healing mental health and that that's one problem The second problem is is that Israel never really or doesn't really have enough.
00:36:10.710 --> 00:36:21.600 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: authority, in other words enough guidance okay or guys with which to decide and decipher who should and can qualify as a therapist.
00:36:22.140 --> 00:36:33.720 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And so therapy is like an open market here virtually anyone I you know, sometimes I joke i'm not sure if i'm joking but 99.9% of the population here in Israel are therapists.
00:36:34.170 --> 00:36:45.690 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And so what happens is in a culture that breeds an open house or an open field of therapy you're not bound to have criticism.
00:36:46.530 --> 00:37:02.130 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You don't have as much control you don't have governmental bodies that are following who exactly is offering therapy what types of therapies, what are the qualifications in order to call yourself a therapist this has never been controlled and never been.
00:37:02.940 --> 00:37:12.150 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know authorized and so or with certification so obviously there are psychologists and you have to go to university for that and psychiatrist you have to go to Medical School for that.
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:20.550 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: But that doesn't negate the fact that there are many people who call themselves therapists life coaches so on and so forth, without the proper qualifications.
00:37:20.790 --> 00:37:29.700 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And that's also a very serious problem, so what seeps in is a culture of anyone can do it well when anyone can do it and there's not enough.
00:37:30.180 --> 00:37:38.040 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: surveillance and guidance with regards to what should be done and how that's another problem, and thirdly it's a budgetary issue.
00:37:38.340 --> 00:37:44.970 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Look, in the end of the day, the main budget of Israel goes to its Defense systems and for obvious reason.
00:37:45.240 --> 00:37:51.060 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I mean you know it's wonderful to talk about saving people medically, but if you don't have people to talk about there's No one to say.
00:37:51.390 --> 00:37:56.280 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: So you need to put the majority of your funding into the Defense budget.
00:37:56.640 --> 00:38:10.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And everybody understands that but that comes with a price and the prices that other areas, sometimes suffer so that includes education, and that includes medical facilities, a time socialized medicine.
00:38:11.400 --> 00:38:26.700 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And certainly mental health is an area that has not been invested in properly by the by the governmental authorities and by the government itself, and I sincerely hope that that will change but it's a problem that's there.
00:38:27.420 --> 00:38:42.840 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Within is in Israel at large, it within the educational system only 3% of time is allocated, on average, every year, towards not just mental health but towards healthy well being.
00:38:43.110 --> 00:38:53.100 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: towards us students well being outside of the classroom now in today's day and age with social media and isolation and all the various consideration socially.
00:38:53.850 --> 00:38:58.980 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: that's not enough time and really, it has to take a flip whereby.
00:38:59.430 --> 00:39:08.460 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: A I wouldn't say the majority, but a large percentage of time has to be invested in the inner person in the students well being in his.
00:39:08.760 --> 00:39:18.330 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: In his you know mindfulness and his understanding in his self image and self security and his ability to overcome, and those are those are areas that need to.
00:39:18.630 --> 00:39:25.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: be invested in that are no nowhere near enough, I mean just to give you one more example you know we could go on all day but.
00:39:25.860 --> 00:39:36.000 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know in Israel on average there's one guidance counselor in a school per 400 students now our son, the death of our daughter.
00:39:36.720 --> 00:39:48.120 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: We have a younger child should live in be well he's a wonderful boy he's 17 years old and he's in a yeshiva high school where they have a psychologist who comes in, once a week.
00:39:48.720 --> 00:39:57.810 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Now, everyone in the school knows what happened to our daughter, and everyone in the school knows that our son, as a result of that is certainly susceptible to trauma.
00:39:58.170 --> 00:40:09.690 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And to at the very least difficulties in functioning and anyone would be and I just got a call I called the school psychologist to discuss something.
00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:19.560 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And she called me today casually I never spoke to her before which itself is a problem she's been there for the last four years, she told me that she still has not.
00:40:20.040 --> 00:40:38.550 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: taken time to meet with our youngest son now I went ballistic because that's absolutely atrocious and absolutely inexcusable, so this is how the system is within the school of education and these things have to change.
00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:45.120 Albert Dabah: Right well you know you brought up so many things just now, it has really made.
00:40:46.200 --> 00:40:53.850 Albert Dabah: me back to my childhood my growing up in my family what it was like and as recently as i'm.
00:40:55.110 --> 00:40:56.310 Albert Dabah: Talking about Sigma.
00:40:58.170 --> 00:41:10.320 Albert Dabah: I am the youngest of four and I have lost my brother and sister to suicide my oldest brother and sister and my other sister is five years older than me and we're.
00:41:10.470 --> 00:41:12.030 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: So sorry to hear that, by the way.
00:41:12.030 --> 00:41:14.640 Albert Dabah: yeah Thank you Thank you so much, and.
00:41:16.170 --> 00:41:21.450 Albert Dabah: We grew up in an Orthodox family, I guess, we would have been called modern orthodox.
00:41:23.820 --> 00:41:32.520 Albert Dabah: But my dream was to be a baseball player, which was always playing on shabbat and and I just had to play, and so I broke away.
00:41:34.050 --> 00:41:42.990 Albert Dabah: Little did I know I mean I would tell my father i'm going i'm coming later or something or I would sneak out early, but he also traveled about five six months a year.
00:41:43.590 --> 00:41:55.260 Albert Dabah: And my mother was kind of La Dee da do which one she was like kind of a airheads let's put it that way, but very sweet, and so I was able to do what I wanted and.
00:41:56.190 --> 00:42:05.340 Albert Dabah: For one year they took my brother to Israel, hoping, because my uncle still live there, and he said, bring your son to Israel, he was.
00:42:06.600 --> 00:42:21.720 Albert Dabah: Well, he was 30 when he passed away so maybe there's about 27 at the time at 26 they went away for a year to come to Israel, because my uncle newest psychologists he's lived there and they also thought, maybe by meeting an Israeli woman.
00:42:23.160 --> 00:42:33.060 Albert Dabah: He would everything would be okay, that would be like a miracle being in Israel, and he got worse, they put him in an apartment I went to visit him.
00:42:34.650 --> 00:42:40.590 Albert Dabah: For my was my bar mitzvah and I went he didn't come and he didn't even say a word to me.
00:42:41.940 --> 00:42:53.400 Albert Dabah: But I did get one thing from my brother that you know, as you know, from losing gila you know what you got from her what she was like from what I heard you talk about her.
00:42:54.930 --> 00:43:00.420 Albert Dabah: He gave me something that was was something i'll never forget, and he gave me.
00:43:01.050 --> 00:43:10.440 Albert Dabah: When he talked about baseball now that could sound trivial to someone what is baseball so you know you know baseball but it gave me a grounding.
00:43:11.100 --> 00:43:25.860 Albert Dabah: And I I literally philosophize about baseball you know and it's not just me, you know any like it's a diamond and it's like that, and I look at life within that and outside of that it's foul So be careful, where you go outside of that.
00:43:26.400 --> 00:43:41.310 Albert Dabah: Look at it and you can hit a home run you can hit a double you can make out if you if you're successful three out of 10 times and batting you're considered great your 300 hitter so it's about life we're not always going to do the right thing we're going to make mistakes.
00:43:42.930 --> 00:44:01.140 Albert Dabah: we're not perfect and we're playing a game and and then the game is tired at the end, so you keep playing more and more, and I really look at that as life I have an expression life life goes on past the bottom of the ninth we always have hope we always should live with hope.
00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:23.190 Albert Dabah: And that's what my film, I hope, to convey, and I was even though coven came and stopped everything I was lucky enough before covert to show the film in between synagogues and festivals, and just film programs in 18 different cities and I traveled to the cities.
00:44:24.510 --> 00:44:37.470 Albert Dabah: And they had me do a Q amp a and talk after every film and it was it was the best thing I mean I loved it we had more setup because of covert all that we did some over zoom.
00:44:38.670 --> 00:44:52.110 Albert Dabah: But not any as narrow, as I, we were scheduled to do, but I learned so much from other people sharing their experiences after they saw the film and so, how they were types personally with touched and.
00:44:53.400 --> 00:45:03.000 Albert Dabah: We can talk more about that and other things, but we had to have a nother break coming right up right now so we'll be back in a minute with shallow Thank you.
00:47:05.550 --> 00:47:22.830 Albert Dabah: hi we're back with a rabbi shallow hammer from Israel and what I wanted to mention was when we talked about the social stigmas of mental health, so I was talking about my family, and so I have a sister who's five years older than me.
00:47:24.210 --> 00:47:34.740 Albert Dabah: She got became more and more orthodox as she got married and had kids were now she has seven children and 62 grandchildren.
00:47:35.820 --> 00:47:43.410 Albert Dabah: And they're all my girlfriend asked me last night do any of them go to college and I said no, and I doubt that anyone will um.
00:47:44.430 --> 00:47:49.860 Albert Dabah: Many of the men study after high school Hebrew and.
00:47:50.910 --> 00:47:56.010 Albert Dabah: You know, going in different professions many in business of some kind or teaching.
00:47:57.630 --> 00:48:05.160 Albert Dabah: And she asked, I told her, I was writing the script about our family and she wanted at one point to read it, so I sent it to her.
00:48:06.660 --> 00:48:23.130 Albert Dabah: Knowing that I felt she was not going to be too happy about it, but I was openly sent it to her, and then I got the phone call from her saying I need to meet with you, Albert I need to meet with you, I could read your script now we have to talk so I met with her and.
00:48:25.170 --> 00:48:29.910 Albert Dabah: first thing that she said, I read the script and if anyone knows that this is our family.
00:48:30.630 --> 00:48:41.190 Albert Dabah: When they see the film my grandchildren won't be able to get married that that was her response and I sat there with my mouth open thinking.
00:48:41.940 --> 00:48:54.300 Albert Dabah: What like like after all the years I put in writing this and I hadn't made the film yet, but I must have taken me 15 to 20 years to put it together um.
00:48:55.770 --> 00:49:04.890 Albert Dabah: I was a bit shocked, but then I understood, but my first response to her was don't you ever talk about our brother and sister to anyone.
00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:24.330 Albert Dabah: don't you kids know about it to the boy my older kids no I said well if you older kids know than you younger kids know you ever talked about it, no anyone no never and right then in there there's this like wow um I said well we're very different, and you know.
00:49:25.680 --> 00:49:31.290 Albert Dabah: She in for me it was right away there's this stigma and also in talking to different therapists.
00:49:32.490 --> 00:49:50.400 Albert Dabah: A lot a lot of ignorance comes with that, because you know it doesn't mean because this happened, or our family is going to be passed down in the genes to others and and that's the that's the the ignorance that goes on, not to say that there could be some trace that we have.
00:49:51.480 --> 00:49:55.710 Albert Dabah: That get passed down, but that necessarily does not mean oh.
00:49:56.880 --> 00:50:09.270 Albert Dabah: I mean, yes, maybe in some communities, yes they'll look at it don't touch that family they had these problems, you know, I understand that the same way people look at that don't go with those people they don't have enough money to support you.
00:50:10.620 --> 00:50:16.950 Albert Dabah: And ironically her son went to jail and I went to the Court, when he was sentenced for two years.
00:50:17.970 --> 00:50:24.210 Albert Dabah: Like three days later he went to jail for two years for some kind of you know mortgage fraud or something.
00:50:24.930 --> 00:50:35.730 Albert Dabah: And I went to visit him a dozen times and spoke to him and really let my hand down because she would call me my sister, and it was closer to me with a gel was it wasn't one of these white collar.
00:50:36.240 --> 00:50:47.910 Albert Dabah: ellison and I would visit him, and you know just be who I am and you know, try to help him in the sense of being there for him, you know and talk to him and.
00:50:49.380 --> 00:51:00.750 Albert Dabah: But the religious aspect of it, I always felt with her and her husband and her family are many of them that I never really feel the spirituality of the religion when i'm them.
00:51:01.080 --> 00:51:09.450 Albert Dabah: it's only about what you're supposed to do it not supposed to do and and in my family with my brother and sister.
00:51:10.440 --> 00:51:26.850 Albert Dabah: They like you said earlier on the show which I totally agree with you and I have heard this from many different people who are whether their therapists or mental health advocacy advocates that no one wants to really commit suicide, no one wants to take their life.
00:51:28.050 --> 00:51:34.590 Albert Dabah: This Dr Dan rotenberg who works at the Suicide Prevention agency called save became a fiscal partner with our film.
00:51:34.950 --> 00:51:41.400 Albert Dabah: meaning, we were able to get some donations that were tax deductible, we had to go out and find the people but hey you know.
00:51:41.730 --> 00:51:48.930 Albert Dabah: say they sent them Monday to save and they took up a little percentage, but he he made sure he the script had to be.
00:51:49.680 --> 00:52:00.360 Albert Dabah: looked at by their their whole board they had to make sure it was kosher because they've said they've never done this before and always turned it down for films commercials books and all that because there's always.
00:52:00.870 --> 00:52:13.290 Albert Dabah: Something sensational about it in the story, like, for instance in one one scene, where my sister died she jumps from a cliff and don't show the jump well, I never had intended to show it anyway.
00:52:14.010 --> 00:52:20.640 Albert Dabah: And when people say you know, sometimes how to how to the guy who is hiding, you know it's a question I don't ask because I don't think that's even.
00:52:21.360 --> 00:52:39.750 Albert Dabah: Relevant um but he made an example to me that, and he tells this whole story I had him speak at different events I had why how we got into the field like a I didn't want to be suicide specialist that's not why I went into it, but he lost good friends who suicide.
00:52:40.770 --> 00:52:48.120 Albert Dabah: He had a he was on call during the hotline and the guys because life, while he was on the phone and he was so distraught.
00:52:48.930 --> 00:53:03.480 Albert Dabah: his heart is really into it, he goes all over the world and talks about Suicide Prevention and about you know, he says we're not gonna it's not gonna we're not going to we want to reduce the amount of suicide we're not gonna it's not gonna be gone forever that will never happen.
00:53:04.680 --> 00:53:07.320 Albert Dabah: But he said he gave me an example he said it's like.
00:53:08.700 --> 00:53:10.260 Albert Dabah: The person who is having these.
00:53:12.210 --> 00:53:24.000 Albert Dabah: Terrible feelings about themselves and going on it's like they're being hit by a hammer, hundreds of times and they just want the pain to go away, whatever that emotional pain is.
00:53:24.570 --> 00:53:37.770 Albert Dabah: They just can't take it anymore, and that rang true for what I felt in my own family, seeing them, I tried to help as much as I could I felt so much guilt afterwards, and I think these are normal things to feel.
00:53:39.090 --> 00:53:47.100 Albert Dabah: You know I didn't talk about it for a while, but then I had to talk about it because I felt it, I felt it was like my calling.
00:53:47.730 --> 00:54:01.380 Albert Dabah: And I feel the similarity of what you're talking about and that's why I do this podcast i've been doing it for 10 months that's why I made the movie is because I feel that people who are out there who are feeling these feelings of.
00:54:02.400 --> 00:54:10.920 Albert Dabah: Just like I don't fit in where do I fit in and are struggling so much about fitting in I myself, I had these feelings at times.
00:54:11.460 --> 00:54:28.650 Albert Dabah: That they need to know they're not alone number one, and they need to know that they can get help and many people do go for help, but they saw that therapists I couldn't stand data, you know so then it's like going to any doctor, you might go I went to once five doctors for my feet for.
00:54:29.730 --> 00:54:37.350 Albert Dabah: They all want to do surgery except the last one, and I, my feet are fine now um so sometimes you just have to do the work.
00:54:38.970 --> 00:54:59.130 Albert Dabah: So I really can see what you're talking about and how important it is to have these programs that are set up where you we call them these first aid programs, just like you have first aid for medical things have it for mental health problems so yeah yeah.
00:54:59.220 --> 00:55:01.560 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: yeah I mean absolutely and.
00:55:02.670 --> 00:55:05.070 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know, like I said at the beginning of the Program.
00:55:06.180 --> 00:55:10.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You know your hundred percent right a person who is dealing with mental illness.
00:55:11.400 --> 00:55:19.680 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: They don't want to die, but the pain is so great, and we have to realize that mental illness is like a physical illness it exhibits itself.
00:55:20.040 --> 00:55:29.310 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: in a different way it features itself in different symptoms but it's the same thing as someone who has a physical illness, I have a friend who suffers from.
00:55:29.880 --> 00:55:46.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Depression and and someone said to him, you know why don't you just why don't you just you know be happy, you know, and then you could just get rid of it, and he said, you know telling someone who suffers from depression, why don't you just become happy it's like telling.
00:55:47.430 --> 00:55:57.210 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Someone who suffers from migraines just take two aspirin and you'll be okay, the migraines don't go away the suffering remains consistent and it's always there and.
00:55:57.930 --> 00:56:08.940 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: We have to be sensitive to that we have to be empathetic to people and it kills me, obviously, every day, my loss my feelings my desire to be close to gila.
00:56:09.300 --> 00:56:19.830 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: And it bothers me that I didn't understand her well enough, I was there for her my wife were there for but we consistently talk to each other about how many.
00:56:21.450 --> 00:56:23.940 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: How many things we could have done if we understood more.
00:56:24.150 --> 00:56:24.480 Albert Dabah: yeah.
00:56:24.600 --> 00:56:34.620 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: We didn't mine, so now we don't want that mistake to happen for others, even though our pain will never go away and never ceases with our loss for gila.
00:56:35.280 --> 00:56:44.670 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: i'll just tell people out there if you're interested and i'm going to just mention Albert that you can go on my website rabbi hammer calm.
00:56:46.500 --> 00:57:01.740 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: er COM i'll come anywhere to speak about these issues, as I mentioned, I go internationally international waters as well overseas, I have a lecture tour coming up in January in Florida, I have one or two venues available.
00:57:02.370 --> 00:57:09.330 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: You can go on my Facebook page rabbi hammer every day I post about things that are going on in the mental health world.
00:57:09.570 --> 00:57:21.180 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: I post videos updates and my YouTube channel, as well as rabbi hammer and I post their short videos about mental health and mental awareness and various problems and questions such as.
00:57:21.420 --> 00:57:28.410 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: doesn't mobile device affect the person and their mental illness does a pet or having a dog assist a person in their mental and.
00:57:28.650 --> 00:57:38.760 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Various questions like these that people need to know about that can help them with various tips in their daily lives, so feel free to reach out to me take a look at these.
00:57:39.480 --> 00:57:53.700 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: and be in touch and subscribe and, like the Facebook page, as they say, or as my social media person told me to say, and I look forward to better days to happier living and healthier attitudes in life.
00:57:53.850 --> 00:58:05.040 Albert Dabah: Well, thank you, thanks so much for being on the show tonight, I just want to add before we go this will be my last podcast for a while i'm taking a hiatus and.
00:58:05.610 --> 00:58:11.490 Albert Dabah: I want to say that i've been Thank you to all the guests that have been on and all the people who have listened to the show.
00:58:11.880 --> 00:58:19.650 Albert Dabah: And i'll mention one more time about extra innings i'm going to look at the list because it has grown where people can see the movie on.
00:58:20.220 --> 00:58:31.320 Albert Dabah: symbol movies that calm Amazon peacock Google play apple TV and a new platform called Sky TV it's a Jewish station of Jewish platform.
00:58:31.800 --> 00:58:50.190 Albert Dabah: So thank you again for being on the show and again sorry for your loss of key logical I know she'll always be in your heart and mind, and I thank you all for listening and to this program extra innings covering all the bases and.
00:58:50.610 --> 00:58:55.740 Rabbi Shalom Hammer: Have a good, thank you, Albert, thank you for having me, and we should only know good things, thank you, thank you.
00:58:56.040 --> 00:58:56.400 bye bye.
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