This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, it’s just Sam and you for the show to discuss a very intimate topic.
Trauma. We've all experienced it in one form or another. Many people believe that seeing a therapist is the only way to heal it.
On this episode, Sam gives you another perspective on how we can come to grips with the trauma in our lives, and what we truly need to heal it.
Join the conversation! You can either email Sam before the show to ask your own questions, or participate live on the Facebook live stream video and be part of the conversation!
Tune in for this enlightening conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.
It’s just Sam on the show this week. Sam briefly recounts his conversation last week with Mike Anthony, titled “Love, Dad” and recommends the Netflix series, Surviving Death, which Mike appeared on. Sam reads a passage from his book Everyday Awakenings, “We All Have Dog Days Every Now and Then.” It’s common to see that when we don’t feel good we try to run away from the bad feeling, rather than try to stay with the emotions and learn what’s going on. Sam mentions a woman he knows who was able to come to terms with her deepest, darkest emotions during a seven-day period of unplugging and understanding. Most people don’t have the luxury of taking so long to reflect, but we should all make more of an effort to get in touch with our feelings. Sam recounts a period in his life, around three/four years ago when he spent weeks trying to escape a nagging feeling. He then decided to let himself feel the feeling for several weeks and participated in a ritual. At this point it became apparent the feelings were grief and loss, stemming from an old relationship that didn’t work out, with a woman he loved dearly. It washed over him and then released. He realized that it’s okay to sit with these feelings for a while, rather than to run away from them. Sam invites listeners this week to see if there are any uncomfortable feelings they’re trying to escape, and if so, to sit with those feelings and examine what they’re all about. Eventually the feeling will reveal itself. After the break Sam will talk about the first key to healing trauma...it may not be what you think!
Coming back from the break, Sam discusses trauma. In order to heal trauma, we need connection and community. First off, community. Trauma tends to involve multiple people, not just the self. The people we experience the trauma with are data points, therefore we need counteracting data points to heal the trauma. Research shows that for every negative data point in our brain and body, there need to be many times more positive data points to counteract. Having a community that gives us proper time and space to express our trauma is so powerful and helps us so much. We need to be selective in who we work with to ensure they are not reinforcing negative data points. Something about having the right people surrounding us is recognized by the cells in our body, nourishing our nervous system. After the break: the second key to healing from trauma.
Sam comes back from break to say that the second key to healing trauma is connection. When we find our healing community and find that someone else is dealing with a similar trauma, it forms a strong connection. It’s validating to know we’re not alone, that other people are experiencing the same issues we are. Connection is also important because we can learn from other peoples’ experiences. The feeling is reciprocal - if we are communicating our trauma with another person, they will feel better knowing they have someone to relate to, which in turn makes us feel heard. The connection to other people can help us not be so caught up in our own challenges, and to create positive experiences that offset the negative ones. In instances like these, our biggest pain can be our biggest gift to others. Sam shares an example of when he felt like he wasn’t good enough. It was eye-opening to know that others feel the same way, and he derived a great deal of healing from forming that connection with other people, sharing his story and letting them know that he has also been there. Patty from Tucson asks what she can do for a family who has a relative in hospice. Sam encourages the family not to run away from the feelings, but to feel them in the moment. The family can find some solace in believing that death is maybe not the end. The experience may be heart-wrenching, but who knows what it may lead to in the future? Think about experiences that happened in your life decades ago. How did they shape what came after? Sam tells Patty to let the family know that she is there for them. She can validate their feelings. After the break Sam will continue the healing trauma conversation.
Healing from trauma is never easy, but it’s something we all deal with. The validation means a lot, especially when the experience someone is going through is difficult. Community is extremely important during the healing process as well. Our communities are not necessarily where we live, but the people from elsewhere who we choose to connect with. Sam personally does not feel that great a sense of community with the people on his floor, or in his neighborhood, but he has a deep relationship with people in the conscious community. He is Jewish, but he does not belong to a synagogue, as another example. If you’re experiencing pain, know that you’re not alone, that there are communities of people out there who you can connect with. If you’re having trouble finding a community, go out and seek to help others in more need with you, such as helping at a soup kitchen or other volunteer opportunities. Helping from the heart is a beautiful, healing experience. This message is for those who are listening to the show now, or for anyone who may discover this episode years from now. There’s a lot of trauma in the world out there today, and a lot of healing to be done, but there are more tools to heal now than there ever have been before. Thanks to everyone for tuning in this week. We’ll be back next week.
00:00:27.720 --> 00:00:30.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: afternoon my conscious co creators.
00:00:30.780 --> 00:00:34.020 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Welcome to another edition of the conscious.
00:00:39.690 --> 00:00:41.670 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: All here with me today.
00:00:42.750 --> 00:00:56.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's one of those shows that it's just you and me oh i'm getting my Internet connection is is unstable So hopefully will come through okay.
00:00:57.870 --> 00:01:10.110 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But welcome welcome welcome to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, I hope you caught my show last week we had a really wonderful guests last week Mike Anthony and we were talking all about.
00:01:11.220 --> 00:01:26.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: The afterlife communicating with loved ones who've crossed over and and one of the things he mentioned in the interview was how he appeared on this netflix series surviving death, and so I actually have been.
00:01:26.850 --> 00:01:41.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: watching it a little bit i've been i've been it's a six part miniseries and i've been watching it it's actually pretty good I recommend it not i'm very well versed in all this stuff but it's always nice to.
00:01:42.330 --> 00:01:48.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: kind of get this reinforcement and they talked about a lot of different aspects of the afterlife communicating with people.
00:01:49.860 --> 00:01:57.810 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So I hope so just a little recommendation, if any of you need something to binge watch like I do every now and then.
00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:10.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it'll it's a funny little series surviving death on netflix and if you did not catch my episode last week with Mike Anthony it's called love dad because it's about his his.
00:02:11.100 --> 00:02:21.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know connection with his dad after he passed, you can catch it on talk radio dot nyc and if you go to the detail page there's links to the Facebook video.
00:02:21.600 --> 00:02:37.410 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And if you're used to like getting your podcasts on on the big platforms like iTunes stitcher spotify I heart radio Pandora you know the conscious consultant hours everywhere, and one thing I really appreciate is if.
00:02:38.550 --> 00:02:47.460 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You could could good and iTunes and then these different platforms, whichever one you use when you search for the conscious consultant our.
00:02:47.970 --> 00:02:59.580 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Like it give it a review just to help it to be more visible let's help to share this information with with more people, so I would greatly appreciate it, I know.
00:02:59.970 --> 00:03:08.340 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I love you my loyal listeners my fans and i'm very appreciative So if you could just do that to help out, it would be totally awesome.
00:03:08.760 --> 00:03:14.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Okay, so let's get started with today's show, as I mentioned earlier it's one of those shows it's just you and me.
00:03:14.790 --> 00:03:25.050 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Which means if you're listening live on the Facebook live stream, please comment in the comment section ask your questions and and today's topic i'm going to be talking all about.
00:03:26.130 --> 00:03:34.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: The key to healing trauma and and yeah we're going to talk about it and some other stuff But first, of course.
00:03:35.010 --> 00:03:45.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: we're going to have a quote or little section from everyday awakening my book, which is available at everyday awakening book calm and i've been.
00:03:45.480 --> 00:03:56.310 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Doing this now for a while we actually into the second part of the book there's seven parts in the book and this section today is, we all have dog days every now and that.
00:03:57.390 --> 00:04:14.820 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We all have dog days every now and then times when we feel like the world is against us, we all wake up on the wrong side of the bed once in a while the key to surviving such days is not to marinate in the misery, but to accept that they're tough.
00:04:15.960 --> 00:04:34.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: feeling awful great feel it let's not stuff down the uncomfortable feelings let's not ignore the signs that are telling us it's time to take a break let's not forget that there will always be ups and downs.
00:04:35.790 --> 00:04:52.440 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: If we can stop judging the Downs is bad, we can get through them with greater ease when we truly accept all that life brings to us, regardless of how good or bad, it feels somehow things go smoother.
00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:56.160 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's okay to have a dog day.
00:04:57.540 --> 00:05:01.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Just don't drag it around with you for the rest of your life.
00:05:04.260 --> 00:05:08.160 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So where are you not feeling so great.
00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:13.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: How can you accept that uncomfortable feeling and move forward.
00:05:14.820 --> 00:05:34.860 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So this is a short section, but but for me it's it's a really important one, because so often and then working with people and doing the work that I do it's very common to see that, like when we don't feel so hot when we don't feel so good, when we feel like.
00:05:36.090 --> 00:05:45.090 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Just I don't know i'm in pain, I mean physical pain i'm an emotional pain or or or maybe it's not even paying maybe we'll just stress, maybe we're just.
00:05:45.720 --> 00:05:59.010 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I don't know i'm just not feeling so great we're so quick to run away from it we're so quick to want to quote unquote fix ourselves we're so trying to get out of that uncomfortable feeling.
00:06:01.080 --> 00:06:08.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And it's not that we shouldn't look for ways of alleviating the pain, nobody wants to feel pain Of course not.
00:06:10.620 --> 00:06:27.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Yet, sometimes I guess I just feel were a little too quick to move in that direction where we're too fast to like get out of this uncomfortable feeling rather than sitting with it and actually being present to it and feeling it.
00:06:29.160 --> 00:06:30.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I once had a teacher.
00:06:32.730 --> 00:06:42.990 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: She was wonderful she really knew how to stay with the feeling staying with her emotions and and what was going on, and she would say that.
00:06:43.710 --> 00:06:57.540 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: There is no feeling no emotion that was so unbearable that we couldn't get through it if we just really sat with it for seven days straight.
00:06:58.170 --> 00:07:16.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Now again seven days she's talking about the worst traumatic loss, the most awful kinds of feelings normally it doesn't take that much and when she was saying, like sit within and be present to it for seven days, she was talking about unplugging the phone.
00:07:17.940 --> 00:07:27.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: pulling the shades down putting away the Games, the books everything and just truly being present with what she was feeling.
00:07:28.920 --> 00:07:32.580 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And she had suffered a lot of loss in her life and she'd been through a lot of things.
00:07:35.070 --> 00:07:46.470 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And look, most of us we don't have that luxury we have we have jobs we have businesses, we have to take care of stuff on a daily basis, so we can't just sit and be present to our emotions all day long.
00:07:48.180 --> 00:07:56.340 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But I think that kind of gives us a little bit of a yardstick to measure against, we can say that okay I can't sit with this all day long.
00:07:56.880 --> 00:08:10.230 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But maybe I can sit with it for a half hour here or 15 minutes, there may be busy working and so we're not really being that present to how we're feeling in the moment but then, when we take a break, we can sit him be with it.
00:08:11.520 --> 00:08:15.240 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And you know, around this time I believe this was when I.
00:08:16.980 --> 00:08:18.330 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I found that that.
00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:30.630 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: There was just something that not that good came up something it was around like my birthday was my birthday month of February and and there was something that kind of triggered me, I think it was a.
00:08:31.860 --> 00:08:33.000 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: photograph.
00:08:35.010 --> 00:08:41.160 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: or something that that, from my past that just triggered something in me and.
00:08:42.660 --> 00:08:51.930 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I was kind of feeling the law, so I was feeling like I just wasn't feeling that good, and I really couldn't put my finger on it.
00:08:52.560 --> 00:09:05.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And for a good three or four weeks it was just this background sort of underlying feeling and if somebody asked me like like how you feeling i'd be like.
00:09:06.210 --> 00:09:14.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Okay, but I wasn't really Okay, but if they asked me like like what do you not okay about I really I don't think I could even give them an answer.
00:09:16.380 --> 00:09:29.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But I just sat with it, I just and and it was also, I think it was a significant time for me because normally i'd be running away from that feeling I would be doing anything to distract myself from that feeling I would be.
00:09:30.840 --> 00:09:44.310 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know, a binge watching TV I would be you know filling up my time with classes and seeing people go into workshops going out just doing whatever just so I could escape that feeling.
00:09:44.700 --> 00:09:50.100 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But this particular time, and this was probably about three four years ago, maybe a little bit more.
00:09:51.060 --> 00:10:11.280 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I said, you know what i'm not going to distract myself from it there's something about this that I just need to sit with and I sat with it and I sat with it, and for a good three or four weeks I just let myself feel this not so good feeling which is very unlike myself.
00:10:12.300 --> 00:10:12.900 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm.
00:10:13.980 --> 00:10:24.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And it's, not that I necessarily got any deep insight by feeling it and then eventually I went to one of the ceremonies that I participate in.
00:10:26.850 --> 00:10:32.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And and some stuff came up around Los some stuff came up around grief.
00:10:33.810 --> 00:10:46.560 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And then, it was really present it was really like in my face and then afterwards I felt so good, I felt I felt a huge relief, I felt like.
00:10:48.150 --> 00:10:53.580 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: kind of that feeling when you wind up a spring and then you release it and it just kind of.
00:10:55.110 --> 00:10:56.580 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And I was just kind of.
00:10:58.080 --> 00:10:58.650 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Like blake.
00:10:59.820 --> 00:11:05.820 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Like just the space like like I didn't I didn't feel good but but it just felt like.
00:11:07.980 --> 00:11:17.160 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: a feeling of tiredness or exhaustion like after letting go of some energy that that had been holding on to for a long time.
00:11:20.460 --> 00:11:31.050 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and, interestingly, like that same kind of feeling that sense of loss, I mean does it come up occasionally sure, but not in the same way.
00:11:32.400 --> 00:11:35.070 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so that feeling of.
00:11:37.110 --> 00:11:51.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know what I was sitting with it, it also was a big lesson for me that I can sit with it, that like it's Okay, and I don't have to judge it and I don't have to run away from it and I don't have to hide from it.
00:11:54.390 --> 00:11:57.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so, for me, that was a big lesson.
00:11:58.590 --> 00:12:05.520 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so, this section is all about saying hey Look, we all have difficult days now in that.
00:12:06.990 --> 00:12:26.130 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah we don't want to marinate In it we don't want to make it our our life's work, but when it comes up it's okay to sit with it to not judge it and to see, and when I work with people and and I sort of tell this story and express this idea and it and it gives them some.
00:12:27.990 --> 00:12:47.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: sense of relief and then they get kind of sitting with it inevitably people get so much out of it there there's some hidden law some hidden trauma something that unacknowledged that just by sitting with the feeling eventually that bubbles up to the surface.
00:12:49.350 --> 00:12:57.510 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and actually what what it was around that time for me and what wasn't really feeling so good, I believe what it was that came up is.
00:12:58.230 --> 00:13:13.350 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It was about a an old girlfriend from from many, many years ago and somebody who had been very, very good to me, I really loved her, but I was in a difficult situation at the time that that that she really like couldn't accept.
00:13:14.400 --> 00:13:27.060 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And, and because of that she ended up leaving me breaking up with me and it was heartbreaking for me because I cared about her and I appreciated her so much.
00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:40.830 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But it's like I couldn't be angry with her because she'd been so good, to me, so it was like what right do I have to be angry, she was so good, to me, yet I was upset I was angry, I was sad.
00:13:41.910 --> 00:13:47.550 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: To have lost her and, to this day, I have the fondest memories of being with her.
00:13:48.570 --> 00:14:03.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know it's been probably 20 no more than 25 probably 30 years since we were together and yeah sometimes I did try and like look for her and social media and stuff wasn't able to find her.
00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:24.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But yeah it was just acknowledging that I was angry that I was upset that I was sad and I just held on to that because i'd never been so present to it, I never allowed myself to feel it because I felt I had no right to that feeling.
00:14:26.340 --> 00:14:27.270 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And once I.
00:14:28.560 --> 00:14:34.650 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: realized that it wasn't about having a right to it that it wasn't about how she treated me.
00:14:35.820 --> 00:14:38.340 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It was just my own sense of loss.
00:14:39.390 --> 00:14:51.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And just acknowledging that it was a real loss and that she was so special at a time when everything was so crazy for me and and there really wasn't anything.
00:14:52.620 --> 00:15:16.290 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That lifted me up in my life at the time, but she did so I realized, it was just validating my own feelings and so sometimes that can be the biggest lesson is learning to just validate our own feelings and hey if we don't feel so good let's be honest about it hey I feel like crap today.
00:15:18.120 --> 00:15:25.920 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But tomorrow, we can feel better and we don't have to feel a lot better if it's just a little bit better, so I invite you.
00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:36.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: For this week, you know, between now and next week, see is there some uncomfortable feeling that you're feeling in the background that you haven't.
00:15:38.040 --> 00:15:49.290 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: acknowledged and and that you've been avoiding that you've been distracting yourself from that you've been using all these little excuses, so that you don't have to be present to it.
00:15:50.430 --> 00:16:10.110 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Maybe take some time and really sit with it, without any distractions you know with our watching TV Without reading books, without going out just sit with that uncomfortable feeling and ask what is it trying to tell you what is coming up for you, with it, what is it all about.
00:16:12.540 --> 00:16:22.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And if you can may not come up right away because you're not used to doing that, so your body might not be so willing to communicate so easily so it may take sitting with it.
00:16:23.670 --> 00:16:31.470 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: half hour here 45 minutes a day or 10 minutes here five minutes there an hour here, it may take a little bit of practice.
00:16:33.090 --> 00:16:44.550 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But my experience has been that if you really show you're serious and sit with that uncomfortable feeling, eventually, it will reveal itself What is it all about.
00:16:46.440 --> 00:16:53.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And hey it may not be that easy to face what it's trying to tell you may not be that comfortable.
00:16:54.810 --> 00:16:56.340 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But trust me i've been there.
00:16:57.690 --> 00:17:07.140 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: If you face it, if you allow yourself to really go there, there is real freedom, on the other side of that there is real relief.
00:17:08.370 --> 00:17:22.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: On the other side of that so so the section again it's we all have our dog days every now and then so maybe things are going great for you, you don't have any dog days that's fine, but if you're just feeling off if you're just feeling that so good.
00:17:23.820 --> 00:17:36.150 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: acknowledge it deal with it sit with it awesome alright so i've run a little bit over we're going to go to break and when we come back i'm going to start talking about sort of the key to healing trauma.
00:17:36.810 --> 00:17:39.240 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And it might be what you think.
00:17:39.870 --> 00:17:48.600 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So everybody, please stay tuned you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we do this every Thursday 12 noon to 1pm Eastern.
00:17:48.810 --> 00:18:01.170 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: right here on talk radio dot nyc and all over Facebook with our Facebook live and inspired thoughts with Sam talk radio dot nyc the conscious consultant double diamond wellness I streaming out all over the place.
00:18:01.560 --> 00:18:05.940 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Thank you for being with me today and we will be right back after these messages.
00:20:21.780 --> 00:20:30.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, thank you all for being with me today it's just me and you so.
00:20:30.840 --> 00:20:43.860 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: If you're tuning in live on the Facebook live or you're listening through the station, please let me know your comments and questions you can email me Sam at the conscious consultant.com.
00:20:44.880 --> 00:20:50.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And I will be checking my email during the breaks and if you email me.
00:20:52.020 --> 00:20:57.570 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I will answer your questions or comments during the show or just post on the Facebook live if you're listening live.
00:20:58.740 --> 00:21:00.480 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Okay, so we're talking about trauma.
00:21:02.040 --> 00:21:05.820 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Today, and about what it takes to heal from trauma.
00:21:07.020 --> 00:21:12.000 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And there are a lot of different modalities there's a lot of different ways to approach it.
00:21:14.430 --> 00:21:29.790 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And one of the things that i've learned over the years and, primarily, going back you know little over seven years ago, when I started getting involved in this ceremonial work that I do now.
00:21:33.390 --> 00:21:38.280 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Is that when we work on healing things with other people.
00:21:39.900 --> 00:21:50.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It has such a more potent more powerful ability to help us to get past these feelings.
00:21:52.830 --> 00:21:54.240 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And my teacher.
00:21:55.410 --> 00:21:59.220 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Armand he says that, in order to heal trauma.
00:22:00.360 --> 00:22:03.030 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We need connection and community.
00:22:04.650 --> 00:22:11.670 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And it took me a while to really get that and what it was all about until I experienced it for myself.
00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:14.130 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and
00:22:15.300 --> 00:22:28.380 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: This is not to say that, like doing one on one work isn't good for trauma it's, not to say that you know we can do things and work on ourselves and and and and and heal through trauma but.
00:22:29.490 --> 00:22:32.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: In my experience, our trauma normally.
00:22:33.870 --> 00:22:37.590 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: is something that happens with other people.
00:22:38.850 --> 00:22:42.270 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's something that could have happened a long time ago when we were a kid.
00:22:42.990 --> 00:22:49.200 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And it might not have even been directed at us, it could be seeing our parents fight it could be seeing our brother and sister fight.
00:22:49.560 --> 00:22:59.940 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It could be something that is directed at us, it could be, you know bullies picking on us when we were a little kid it could be people abusing us, it could be a whole host of different things.
00:23:02.670 --> 00:23:08.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But usually it involves us, and someone else at least one other person, if not multiple other people.
00:23:11.040 --> 00:23:16.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so, when I was introduced to this idea that to heal trauma, we need community.
00:23:19.260 --> 00:23:27.450 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I really thought about it and sat with it, and then, when I had my own experiences of healing trauma in Community I realized oh.
00:23:30.300 --> 00:23:31.860 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We have these.
00:23:33.030 --> 00:23:47.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Experiences i'm going to call them points of data right, like every experience we have is a data point it's telling us something is safe or something's not safe, something is painful or it's not painful it feels good it feels bad, we have all these.
00:23:48.270 --> 00:23:59.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: points of data in our life that our brains record and our bodies keep keep the storage, you know our bodies is kind of like a giant hard drive just records everything.
00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:13.020 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And when those experiences are painful difficult challenging excruciating and they involve other people.
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:15.570 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: then ultimately.
00:24:16.590 --> 00:24:19.260 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We need other points of data.
00:24:20.910 --> 00:24:26.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That are opposite to counteract those points of data and indeed I saw.
00:24:27.600 --> 00:24:39.450 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I don't know if I heard someone say it or read a study that said that for every painful or difficult or negative data point we need like seven positive data points to.
00:24:39.900 --> 00:24:53.490 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: counteract it like like that to just the way our brains are wired that the negative stuff sticks with us and stays in our nervous system and in our bodies it's there's so much more powerful in a way than the good stuff.
00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:03.210 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so, for every interaction every experience that we've had with someone else that hurt us that that caused us trauma.
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:10.710 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It takes a bunch more with other people, showing us that.
00:25:11.910 --> 00:25:17.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We can be safe, with other people, showing us that other people do care about it, so that they can support us that all this stuff.
00:25:20.100 --> 00:25:21.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Like it takes a lot.
00:25:22.890 --> 00:25:30.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so doing, are really deep personal healing work in community in group.
00:25:32.670 --> 00:25:35.790 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It the experience of it.
00:25:36.900 --> 00:25:53.520 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: The experience of being raw and vulnerable and and and and break King down and crying and then sobbing and and showing someone else how much in pain we were or are.
00:25:55.950 --> 00:25:57.810 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And then witnessing us.
00:25:59.310 --> 00:26:11.880 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and supporting us and just holding space for us just the act of that is so healing and it counteracts so much of the negative stuff that we've experienced.
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:21.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So community is so important because, when we do our work in groups.
00:26:23.670 --> 00:26:33.150 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And there were people they're validating how we feel validating the difficulty of what we went through validating how her we are.
00:26:34.350 --> 00:26:38.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Like that it's so so powerful.
00:26:40.590 --> 00:26:42.930 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And that helps us so so much.
00:26:44.910 --> 00:26:47.130 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So that's one of the aspects.
00:26:48.510 --> 00:26:51.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: of why community is so important.
00:26:56.190 --> 00:27:00.090 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And look, I mean i've been doing this work, seven years now.
00:27:01.260 --> 00:27:08.580 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's also possible if the other people in the group are not that aware and they're not that conscious and they're not really.
00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:18.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Being there and holding space for it's also possible to get re traumatized it's also possible that, if the people you're doing your healing work with if they're.
00:27:18.630 --> 00:27:34.770 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: going through their own healing work and and they're lashing out because they're angry that could also cause Another negative data point so that's why we need to be somewhat selective in who we work with.
00:27:36.060 --> 00:27:37.290 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And that's why.
00:27:38.610 --> 00:27:44.940 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: feeling some affinity to the people who we are doing our work with the people who are in the Community is so important.
00:27:45.750 --> 00:27:56.130 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And we may be in a group, and there may be let's say 10 1215 people in the group and maybe only two or three of them that we really feel.
00:27:56.640 --> 00:28:06.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Close to so we choose to share with those and not necessarily with everybody else, and they may be off doing their own healing work and we don't have to do it with everyone in the group.
00:28:07.710 --> 00:28:20.310 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But having that Community having that support that validation oh my God it makes going through this traumatic gut wrenching.
00:28:21.480 --> 00:28:36.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: difficult time so much easier so much easier and and there's something about just having those people present that the cells in our body recognize and resonate with.
00:28:37.620 --> 00:28:40.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That is so important to to our nervous system.
00:28:43.740 --> 00:28:49.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So we're just getting started, I do have another commercial break I need to take.
00:28:50.460 --> 00:28:58.860 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But when we come back i'm going to talk about the second aspect that's very important for healing from trauma, so please stay tuned.
00:28:59.160 --> 00:29:09.180 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity our topic this hour is the key to healing from trauma and we will be right back after these messages.
00:31:48.900 --> 00:31:57.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, thank you all for being here today it's one of those shows that I do.
00:31:58.110 --> 00:32:12.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: About once a month, sometimes a little less that's just me and you and we're talking today all about the key from healing to healing from trauma, which is as i've talked about so far i've been speaking a lot about community.
00:32:13.890 --> 00:32:24.000 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And then the second part of it is connection connection with others, because when we do our healing work with people who.
00:32:24.900 --> 00:32:35.340 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We trust there are some affinity with the number of things that happen and i've seen this happen over and over again in the ceremonial circles that I hold, which is.
00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:54.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Suddenly we find somebody else dealing with almost the exact same thing it's never exactly 100% the same sometimes it is, but really but it's it's pretty close and so when we do our healing and community and we find somebody else is also.
00:32:55.830 --> 00:33:07.140 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: healing from the same or similar kind of trauma there's there's that that connection there is that sense of we're not alone in our trauma.
00:33:08.580 --> 00:33:16.410 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And it's funny i've been in a number of circles, where i'm not just myself or other organizers sometimes my mentor I and.
00:33:16.890 --> 00:33:21.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Will will will people will be going around in the beginning, talking about their intention for the group.
00:33:22.230 --> 00:33:37.110 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And someone will talk about feeling alienated and not feeling, you know connected to people and he'll say how many people here raise your hands also feel alienated and not connected and everybody's in the hands in the group go up.
00:33:38.130 --> 00:34:02.040 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so, then it's very powerful thing for when we do our healing work in a group to know that oh i'm not alone other people feel just the same way, I do that they're experiencing the same things that i'm experiencing so that's another form of validation knowing that we're not alone.
00:34:04.740 --> 00:34:07.680 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That can be very, very powerful.
00:34:10.020 --> 00:34:13.260 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Now connection with others.
00:34:14.310 --> 00:34:28.320 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Also in healing from trauma is very important, because we can actually learn from other people's experience of trauma what they had to go through, and how they dealt with it, how did they.
00:34:29.520 --> 00:34:37.350 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: find their way through it, how did they cope with it, and that can be a very healing in and of itself.
00:34:38.700 --> 00:34:48.810 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And, and sometimes just learning from others and hearing how they've gone through stuff that's maybe even worse than what we've gone through, I mean, I cannot tell you.
00:34:49.110 --> 00:35:02.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Like how many times have satin ceremony and been with someone and I start hearing their story and i'm like oh my God it's like so much worse than what I experienced it's like almost.
00:35:03.240 --> 00:35:16.650 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: feel almost air is the dog about mine but we shouldn't be because you know our our drama is always specific to us and and and what hurts us it hurts equally to what hurts someone else.
00:35:18.540 --> 00:35:30.750 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So that learning from others learning from their experience, seeing that we're not alone that other people, and sometimes they've had so much words that can help us with healing from trauma that connection.
00:35:32.700 --> 00:35:42.150 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But also sometimes, as I mentioned, if somebody said so much of a worse experience or they also have a similar experience us sharing our story with them.
00:35:42.690 --> 00:35:52.860 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: can be so powerful for them, and then we actually feel better about ourselves, because then we're able to take our.
00:35:53.430 --> 00:36:07.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: challenges our most excruciating experiences in our life and just by sharing it with someone else that it helps them, then it helps us to feel better about what we've been through then if there's such a sense of.
00:36:08.910 --> 00:36:15.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Okay there's some purpose to it there's some benefit from it, I can help someone else because of what i've been through.
00:36:17.340 --> 00:36:23.280 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So that helping somebody else it don't discount it.
00:36:25.710 --> 00:36:35.430 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know, sometimes when I work with clients and they seem like they're really down on themselves and and they feel like oh my God i've all these problems in my life.
00:36:36.300 --> 00:36:58.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Sometimes I recommend to them to try volunteering in the soup kitchen go do some some some work at a nonprofit that works with handicapped children or or go to a cancer Ward in a hospital and just talk to people who are dying go to hospice and comfort, some people who are dying.
00:36:59.730 --> 00:37:08.550 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and inevitably if they take my advice, they come back and go oh my God what an amazing experience because suddenly they see that, like hey.
00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:18.060 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Their challenges may not be the worst out there, that there were people dealing with things that are so much worse.
00:37:18.840 --> 00:37:28.350 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And they feel like at least they can comfort them and that, because what they're dealing with isn't that as challenging as what someone else's dealing with that there's a certain.
00:37:29.520 --> 00:37:33.060 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: comfort to that there's a certain sense of relief.
00:37:34.530 --> 00:37:40.350 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That, no matter how bad things are for us that there are people out there who are suffering much worse.
00:37:42.540 --> 00:37:57.630 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so it takes us outside of ourselves it somehow makes our trauma challenges seem that much smaller and even if it seems just a little bit smaller than it did before that little bit.
00:37:58.980 --> 00:38:01.590 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: can make a huge huge difference.
00:38:03.030 --> 00:38:11.160 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: In the moment, so that connection to other people can really help us to.
00:38:13.440 --> 00:38:31.200 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: not be so caught up in our own challenges help form some relief and again give us that positive data point help us to have that positive experience to help offset the negative experiences that you have now look i'm using this positive and negative in relative terms.
00:38:32.310 --> 00:38:50.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Ultimately, I believe all of life is here to serve us so there really is nothing ultimately i'd consider negative I use it as a social construct that you understand what I mean, but ultimately, even the most negative experiences we we have in life, they do serve us in some way.
00:38:52.290 --> 00:38:57.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And oftentimes we find how they serve us when we are connected to other people.
00:38:59.040 --> 00:39:02.070 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And that sometimes that our biggest pain.
00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:10.710 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Is our gift because it's how we connect to other people, and I remember, there was one ceremony where.
00:39:12.630 --> 00:39:22.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I guess, I was dealing with feelings of unworthiness of not being enough of just feeling yucky about myself not feeling that good.
00:39:24.090 --> 00:39:26.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: feeling i'm not as good as other people.
00:39:27.930 --> 00:39:39.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And then it kind of came to me by that's also a gift, because how many people out there don't feel that good about themselves how many people will I be able to connect with.
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:51.060 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: who feel that exact same way and i'll know what to say, or what, not to say because I felt the exact same way.
00:39:52.470 --> 00:40:07.020 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And even as I do my own healing work, even as I evolve and feel better about myself, I still remember, I still know I still it's in my body what that feeling is like.
00:40:08.040 --> 00:40:28.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So when someone comes to me, and they have that feeling of like you know just this this this low self esteem self worth yeah i've been there and I can share my story, and I can share what it took for me to get through it and maybe that connection that little story.
00:40:30.510 --> 00:40:32.220 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: can make all the difference in the world.
00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:39.960 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So yeah sometimes our biggest trauma sometimes our biggest pain.
00:40:41.070 --> 00:40:54.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's our biggest gift because that's how we can connect with other people, and this is why doing our healing work in Community in a community, we can trust that are also doing their healing work.
00:40:56.760 --> 00:41:01.530 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's so powerful I cannot emphasize this enough.
00:41:02.700 --> 00:41:14.970 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And I see our loyal listener patty is always checking in from tucson and she says when a partner is in hospital after a liver transplant and his body is rejecting it.
00:41:16.170 --> 00:41:26.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: What can you say to his loved one because he's going through just as much at this time I pray for both but it's difficult this is traumatic for both yes absolutely look.
00:41:27.930 --> 00:41:37.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: First of all acknowledge somebody is going through tragic loss, yes it is excruciating yes, it is a loss.
00:41:40.050 --> 00:41:44.430 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And, and I would just encourage them not to run away from those feelings to feel it.
00:41:47.220 --> 00:41:53.640 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And what would, I say to somebody who's who knows who can see in front of them that they're losing someone.
00:41:54.690 --> 00:41:59.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Well, in some ways it's actually what I talked about in my last show.
00:42:01.080 --> 00:42:15.000 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That death, maybe, maybe it's not the end i'm not going to say it's definitely not the end i'm just going to say, maybe it's not the end because we don't really know until we have that experience ourselves.
00:42:18.570 --> 00:42:21.270 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And in my experience.
00:42:22.800 --> 00:42:35.940 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: When we have these these situations that there's there's no apparent upside to it in the moment that that's just traumatic that's just painful.
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:44.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I look back on my own life I look back on the things that were so traumatic in the past.
00:42:45.600 --> 00:42:50.940 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That maybe it's been 510 15 2030 years since it happened.
00:42:52.350 --> 00:42:56.220 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And I look for how did that experience serve me in my life.
00:42:57.240 --> 00:43:06.090 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Because inevitably it did it absolutely did I mean I can look at the most difficult challenging part of my life.
00:43:07.920 --> 00:43:22.380 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And not that there aren't still aspects of it to heal but yes, I can still see ways in which it served me in my life ways in which it's made me who I am today, so in this moment.
00:43:23.520 --> 00:43:29.220 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That situation can feel excruciating and that loss can be heart wrenching.
00:43:30.420 --> 00:43:36.660 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But who knows what it's going to lead to in the future, who knows what can come of it.
00:43:37.830 --> 00:43:43.320 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So what I try to encourage people to do is to just not judge it.
00:43:44.790 --> 00:43:50.610 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: don't make it wrong or bad, no matter how awful it feels i'm not going to say it's not painful.
00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:56.070 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm just saying don't make the pain wrong don't make the pain bad.
00:43:57.930 --> 00:44:03.960 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Just make it what it is in the moment and yes in the moment it's awful.
00:44:06.630 --> 00:44:08.640 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And you let them know.
00:44:09.750 --> 00:44:22.770 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm here for you, I mean, I have a very close friend of mine, whose son just graduated college really sweet kid oh deed from drugs this past summer.
00:44:23.910 --> 00:44:25.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And she is.
00:44:28.290 --> 00:44:33.480 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: destroyed from that loss, because she had such a close relationship to her son.
00:44:34.920 --> 00:44:36.330 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So what do I say to her.
00:44:39.960 --> 00:44:40.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm here for you.
00:44:42.210 --> 00:44:45.990 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That connection it's all about connection and community.
00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:59.040 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and see maybe there's some kind of support group of spouses of partners of people going through transplant and waiting and seeing what's happening.
00:45:00.090 --> 00:45:04.860 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: that there are other people validate their feelings.
00:45:05.910 --> 00:45:09.960 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: validated absolutely it sucks.
00:45:13.890 --> 00:45:18.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And right now nothing anybody is going to do is going to make it feel better.
00:45:20.280 --> 00:45:25.620 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But given time, given the support given the Community around that person.
00:45:26.760 --> 00:45:28.410 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: They will be able to get past it.
00:45:30.630 --> 00:45:31.140 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So.
00:45:32.370 --> 00:45:35.820 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Believe it or not time for us to take our last break of the show so when we come back.
00:45:37.200 --> 00:45:45.930 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: we'll we'll will tie it up and if anybody else has any other questions or comments or situations you'd like me to comment upon please post it on the Facebook live.
00:45:46.320 --> 00:46:00.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Thank you all for tuning in you are listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we do do this every Thursday 12 noon to 1pm Eastern right here on talk radio dot nyc and we will be right back after these messages.
00:48:04.650 --> 00:48:06.150 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and welcome back.
00:48:06.150 --> 00:48:15.090 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: To the conscious consultant our awakening humanity we've been speaking all about the the the key or the answer to trauma.
00:48:16.470 --> 00:48:26.880 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And what i've been talking about this hour it's all about connection and community, and you know i've been talking a lot about.
00:48:27.960 --> 00:48:37.320 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: How working with other people how healing with other people who are also healing from trauma has such a powerful impact on it now look.
00:48:38.820 --> 00:48:44.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: healing from trauma it's not the happiest of subject but it's something we all deal with.
00:48:45.690 --> 00:49:05.010 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And, and something to keep in mind too is trauma is so common we all experienced trauma of one sort or another, especially like when you're a little baby a door slamming close and the sudden loud noise can be traumatic neglect can be traumatic.
00:49:06.240 --> 00:49:28.410 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And being ignored being compared to your brother or sister being you know, a told you're wrong you're bad for doing something there's so many things that can be traumatic and what's traumatic for us may not be what's traumatic for somebody else so it's very individual.
00:49:30.690 --> 00:49:35.550 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And one thing, and this kind of goes back to what patty was asking me.
00:49:37.320 --> 00:49:47.640 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Is that when somebody else is experiencing a trauma or is relating to you about their trauma or you're relating to them about their trauma about your trauma.
00:49:48.660 --> 00:49:57.930 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Is the validation it's validating yes so that's traumatic that must have been very hurtful must have been very challenging.
00:49:59.160 --> 00:50:08.280 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Both for ourselves and for others level validation means so much, especially when someone is going through something that's very difficult.
00:50:10.050 --> 00:50:21.660 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So just by being a witness holding space for the person and validating them that in and of itself can be amazingly healing for a person.
00:50:23.730 --> 00:50:31.230 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So connection with others community that connection with our community that social support.
00:50:31.650 --> 00:50:37.710 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That network of knowing that there are people out there and it's not just a one time thing it's not just oh.
00:50:38.040 --> 00:50:52.620 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: let's go to this this group or let's go to the ceremony and i'm going to heal myself know it's like, not just in the group it's individually afterwards it's talking to people and connecting with the people afterwards and knowing that they're there for you and you're there for them.
00:50:54.000 --> 00:51:11.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That means so much and in today's world where again every place is different, but living in the middle of New York City, where you know, there are 400 units in my building how many of my neighbors do I know I know a couple of them and.
00:51:12.750 --> 00:51:24.240 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know, know a couple of people on my floor but are there many, many, many, many more people I don't know absolutely do I feel a part of the local community.
00:51:25.110 --> 00:51:31.350 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: In some ways, but not really I don't really have Community here what's my Community my community.
00:51:31.950 --> 00:51:42.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Are the people who have done my healing work within the ceremonial work my Community or people like i've had many people on my show from the evolutionary business Council there my community.
00:51:42.510 --> 00:51:52.080 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: My business networking group, because I go to the meetings, and I see people, week after week, month after month, like they are a community to.
00:51:53.370 --> 00:51:57.930 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Our communities are not necessarily where we live in, who are neighbors are.
00:51:58.980 --> 00:52:06.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: or even like you know i'm Jewish, but how many Am I part of a synagogue knows like sometimes even our our ethnic or religious our.
00:52:07.350 --> 00:52:19.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Our our you know community of who you normally think of we don't necessarily feel connected to that Community we don't have to our Community is who we choose it to be.
00:52:20.640 --> 00:52:28.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Is our family our Community, it can be but lots of people don't have such a good relationship with their family, so their families, not their community.
00:52:30.270 --> 00:52:41.070 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Our community are the people we choose our community are the people we have an affinity with our community are those people who.
00:52:42.090 --> 00:52:50.310 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: There is this bond with there's this connection with that's inevitable that that sometimes doesn't even make sense.
00:52:50.640 --> 00:53:05.610 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That sometimes you look at it from the outside and you're like you have nothing in common with these people, how can you consider them your Community because there's a quality, there is something there that's just not there with other people.
00:53:08.430 --> 00:53:16.260 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So community is so important for so many aspects of our lives, but especially for healing from trauma.
00:53:18.510 --> 00:53:21.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and connecting to people in our Community.
00:53:23.100 --> 00:53:25.320 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It serves us in so many ways.
00:53:27.660 --> 00:53:35.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And if anybody listening to this whether you're listening live to the recording maybe you're listening to this five years from now.
00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:39.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And you're getting this message it's for you.
00:53:41.580 --> 00:54:00.810 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And if you're in pain, if you you're trying to deal with some trauma yourself and you're doing it by yourself, my message to you is go out and find your Community don't do it alone you don't have to do it alone, you can find people.
00:54:02.520 --> 00:54:09.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And if you have a hard time finding people who you can relate to, as I mentioned before, go volunteer.
00:54:11.310 --> 00:54:21.150 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Go to a hospice go to a soup kitchen go serve other people who are have less than you do, who are less fortunate than you are.
00:54:23.520 --> 00:54:34.020 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and see how that feels brooke report back to me, let me know hey if i'm wrong tell me absolutely if it only makes you feel worse, I want to know that.
00:54:34.470 --> 00:54:51.240 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Because, in my experience it rarely does when we show up in service for other people, where there is no way for them to pay us back when we're doing it completely from the generosity of our hearts.
00:54:53.400 --> 00:54:59.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It is always a beautiful experience and it's a very healing experience.
00:55:00.480 --> 00:55:10.650 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i've had many guests on my show who have dealt with people who are dying working in hospice and they talk about what a beautiful experience it was.
00:55:11.160 --> 00:55:18.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Especially even to just be there at that moment when they cross over I recently connected with an old friend of mine, and she.
00:55:19.020 --> 00:55:33.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: she's an energy healer but she also does energy healing for pets and and she was relating to me about helping people who their pet was dying cat or a dog and being there at the moment when they crossed over and what an amazing experience that was.
00:55:36.810 --> 00:55:46.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You one of the things i'm definitely going to do a future episode on this is is we don't know how to deal with death in this culture we so.
00:55:47.490 --> 00:56:00.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: push it aside, we show don't talk about it don't deal with it until we absolutely have to and that's the worst way to approach that in ancient times there was all kinds of ritual around death, there was all kinds of way to pair for there was so much.
00:56:02.850 --> 00:56:12.360 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So many ways of doing it death in itself it's become a trauma and it doesn't have to be so it's definitely a topic for a future future episodes so.
00:56:13.230 --> 00:56:24.330 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm coming down to to the end of my time I really want to thank patti for for being with us on the Facebook live Thank you my loyal listeners, thank you for tuning in I hope.
00:56:24.900 --> 00:56:31.320 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: At least there was some little thing in the show that I talked about today that resonated with you that supported you that helped you.
00:56:32.220 --> 00:56:40.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And and and means something to you because there is a lot of healing to be done in the world today there's a lot of trauma out there.
00:56:41.310 --> 00:56:48.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But I am confident that there are more and more tools for healing from trauma than there ever have been before.
00:56:49.560 --> 00:56:57.180 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And i'm a big believer community and connection to have our best tools for healing from trauma, so thank you for tuning in.
00:56:58.170 --> 00:57:10.590 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Please stay tuned later today we have frank about health at 5pm Eastern time, followed by planet Parker lolo at 6pm and if you liked this show, if you like, you know the topic.
00:57:11.490 --> 00:57:21.630 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Also don't forget on Mondays at 6pm there's extra innings where Albert Taba talks about his own experience with suicide in this family and mental health issues.
00:57:22.410 --> 00:57:42.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: followed by journey through to awareness, Dr George and Dow and your co host Judy Miller they've have wonderful shows talking about all kinds of healing topic so thank you for tuning in I appreciate you, I am here for you, thank you all, we will talk to you next week.
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